Katsuki liked to think he had managed to gain just a sliver of control over his anger in the two years of therapy, and he had for the most part, hell he even went hiking twice a week with the hag without exploding at her.
But those dumbass penguins were seriously starting to get on his last fucking nerve.
Ever since he gave those flightless fucks the stupid gifts he made for some godforsaken reason they had been pestering him, whenever they cross paths Potty would jump out of Patchy's shadow and be fucking obnoxious as all hell to get his attention, and no matter where he was outside Potty would track his ass down and force him to deal with both of them until the end of the lunch period.
And if that wasn't aggravating enough Potty would sneak into his things and at best would leave little scraps of trash in his bags or sometimes at worst abandon pieces of dead animals.
The "gifts" weren't that bad in the beginning, a pen cap here or there, a bunch of marbles for some reason, and far too many coins for him to count.
But when that second-hand parrot started leaving bits and pieces of dead mice and other birds in his pockets and his backpack that was crossing a line of some kind.
Patchy seemed to notice his growing distressed-anger and was making a better effort to control Potty but unfortunately for his sanity there was only so much Patchy could do to control his other half, Katsuki tried not put all the blame onto the emo for his braindead sibling's actions.
And the worst part of it all was that Katsuki knew why Potty was doing this and it made it all the worse as it turned his anger into something so acidly vile in the bottom of his stomach he wanted to throw up.
Today's gift however had finally brought his piss to a boil, and he had thrown his backpack to the wall, knocking over a vase he made and screamed his lungs out into a pillow in order to not break anything else as he had his first fit in two months.
It was a small chipped and cracked marble full of green glitter in the form of a galaxy surrounding a red fuzzy circle.
Objectively, it was a cool little find... but upon seeing it Katsuki could only think of one thing, the very reason why all of Potty's actions were little knives deep in his heart.
Izuku.
His (only friend) victim .
The one he had (trained with) tortured for years because (he was fucking ignoring him) Katsuki wouldn't listen to reason.
Years he had wasted stewing in toxic untamed anger that consumed him so entirely that he had purposely spurned every attempt at (infantilizing him) rebuilding their relationship.
All because he was (A DISGUSTING ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT) trapped in his own delusions.
Then this random bird (that Izuku would've adored) was giving him gifts because he wanted to be friends.
When (it should've been Izuku because) he should be locked up in prison (where he'd never hurt anyone again) instead of pretending he had any chance at being a hero (when he was nothing but a villain).
It took a few minutes but eventually Katsuki was able to calm down, well as calm as someone could be when they were crying, their eyes out and hugging a pillow to their chest.
The rage had left him leaving feeling hollow and raw as he was drowned in his guilt and unable to do anything but whimper as he sobbed.
There was a soft knock at his door "Suki?" he heard the hag call from the other side of his door making him flinch.
"W-what?" he croaked back not having the energy to be snide.
"Can I come in?" she asked, and Katsuki sniffed before he huffily answered "Do whatever you want." as he tried to wipe away his tears.
The hag opened the door and her eyes darted from his pathetic form to the smashed vase before returning to him, slowly the hag stepped into his room and carefully sat next to him without crowding him.
"D- Do ya wanna talk about it Suki?" she asked, her voice wavering as she was conflicted on what she was supposed to do.
Katsuki gritted his teeth so hard he was surprised they hadn't broken in his mouth under the pressure *How the fuck am I supposed to explain this crapstorm when I can't trust myself to get the fucking words out without completely butchering it!* he screamed back at her in his head.
In spite of himself Katsuki forced his head to nod, glancing back at his backpack and its contents split all over the floor "Something happen at school?" she guessed.
His mouth opened to shout at her 'Obviously!' but Katsuki managed to muzzle himself by smothering that impulse, forcing himself to breath in and out before he tried to speak "There's this kid... he trying to be, friends with me." he hissed out through gritted teeth.
The hag pursed her lips as she bit her tongue "And that's what's been upsetting you?" she asked, and Katsuki nodded tightening his hold on the pillow "Do you want to be friends with him?" the hag questioned.
"Yeah... " he quietly confessed for the first time , the single word tearing him apart inside.
"Then what's the problem Suki?" she inquired, her innocent confusion causing the previous anger to return with a vengeance making Katsuki all but leap to his feet as he threw the pillow away with full strength and subsequently knocking over more of his vases.
"BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!" he yelled at the top of his lungs to the point his voice was almost shrill.
"After all these years Izuku tried to get through my dense ass skull only for me tear him apart for this random bastard to just waltz in and sweep me off my fat ass with shittystreetgarbage isn't godamn fair!" Katsuki shouted kicking over his trash bin and sending it contents all over the floor along with his school supplies.
Couldn't she see how big of a betrayal this shit was?
After trying everything he could to fix their broken friendship Izuku, the brother he had grown up with always standing by his side, only had a terrifying patchwork of scars he had made and gallons of blood-soaked tears to show for it.
But this random pair of fuckheads he didn't even know could just worm their way into he's good graces by simply existing was such fucking bullshit!
And the fact that it was working was driving him crazy with self-hatred and guilt over this impossible to understand double-standard his screw-up brain was giving him when it came to friendship.
Why was Patchy and Potty's literally trashy attempts at friendship so damn effective for him when Izuku's were registered only as personal attacks?
It wasn't fair.
Breaking down for the second time Katsuki stopped the aggressive stomping he apparently had started doing while caught up in his head and collapsed in a corner of his trashed room with his hands buried in his hair to keep himself present.
Katsuki flinched when he felt himself being pulled into a hug, but the hag didn't say anything and practically crushed him in her arms.
"It horrible Suki, I know, this guilt. All the 'why's that make you feel like utter dog crap... it's one of the reasons living with Inky was so hard in the beginning. Why does this fucking bimbo make feel safe? Why can I tell her everything? Why is this so much easier? Why couldn't I be this nice to my parents?" the hag told him stroking his back once Katsuki fisted the back of her shirt.
"I don't know why it's so hard for us to connect with certain people, it just is sometimes Katsuki and it fucking sucks, especially when we end up hurting the people closest to us." the hag admitted, one of her hands coming up to run through his hair.
"But it doesn't mean we have to stop trying, okay? Inky and I worked through it and found a way to talk without me trying to beat her up six-ways to Sunday, and I know just how determined you are Suki, if you want to be friends with Izuku again then I'm sure you'll figure out how to keep your shit together for it." she said without a single shred of doubt, something that made Katsuki's breath catch in his throat.
Katsuki did want to be friends with Izuku again, he wanted it so badly.
To find some way to undo all the crap he's done and make it all right so Izuku wouldn't ever had to leave in the first place to gain the confidence he fucking deserved for having the most badass brain in all of existence in his thick skull.
But he couldn't do any of those things... only move forward from the ruins he's left in his wake.
Maybe, that wasn't such a godawful thing though... it just meant he'd have to start from scratch instead of trying to stop the inevitable collapse of their, admittedly toxic relationship like Izuku had tried to do.
"Not until I get my crap together." Katsuki muttered, because before he could ever consider trying to build those bridges again, he'd have to be mentally stable enough not to blow them to kingdom come again.
The hag nodded her head "However you want to go about it I'll do my best to support you Suki, so long as it ain't too illegal you know brat." she promised and Katsuki felt better hearing her prod at his ego, like he wasn't he fragile as he thought he was, and he buried his face into the side of her neck as he tried to do one of those breathing exercises.
After a few minutes he felt much calmer and when he opened his eyes they landed on the broken little marble, reminding him of what caused him to lose his shit in the first place "What should I do about my stalker?" he managed to ask.
The hag shrugged "Whatever you think you should do Suki, if you want him to leave you alone tell him to fuck off. Or if you want to try to get some more social skills then good luck not scaring him off brat." she told him.
Katsuki frowned but nodded, knowing he'd likely be questioning what he wanted to do for the rest of the day.
Fumikage was nervous as the last class before the last lunch period rolled to a close, because it seemed he had underestimated Sadi's ability to annoy Bakugou because the blonde had been waiting for them at the school gates, and Bakugou had grabbed him by the arm and hissed at him to meet him under the tree.
The invitation normally would've excited Sadi but anger in Bakugou's eyes made them nervous *You don't think he's cross with me do you Fumi?* Sadi asked feeling that they might've done something with their last gift to upset him and they were a bit concerned their lack of social skills might've caused their attempts to be misinterpreted.
Fumikage mentally sighed and wished Sadi could pop out and he could comfort them with more nuzzling but that would be a fast track to getting a verbal warning about controlling his quirk *Even if you did he'll just tell us to leave him alone Sadi, I won't let him do anything else okay?* Fumi assured as he packed his things and moved to leave for his spot outside.
Walking a bit slower than he normally would've but he didn't want to drag this out either and tried to keep to his usual pace, he saw Bakugou sitting under the tree with a pretty dark look on his face "You wished to converse Bakugou-San." Fumikage said and Bakugou's eyes were on him in an instant.
"So, you've been leaving crap in my bag because you want to be friends with me, right?" Bakugou spat glaring at him *Oh he knew we want to be friends!* Sadi said relieved "Ah, I see Dark shadow's intentions weren't lost to the waves." Fumikage commented causing the boy to scoff, rolling his eyes.
"My... an old, someone I used to know was cra- really into quirks and I picked up on some of that crap... and it ain't that uncommon for birdbrains to act like actual birds." Bakugou told them, struggling with the first part through gritted teeth.
Bakugou took a deep breath likely to calm himself "Look, you two don't want to be friends with me." Bakugou said "But we do!" Sadi chirped back right away popping out from his body *Sadi.* Fumikage hissed in his head about to explain they shouldn't argue with Bakugou about this.
"No. You fuckers really don't want to be friends with someone like me." Bakugou argued clearly being serious about this and the way he said it made Fumikage pause.
"What... do you mean? 'Someone like you'?" Fumikage questioned and Bakugou's anger spiked before he curled in on himself avoiding his eyes.
"You both want go into heroics, right?" Bakugou asked back shocking them "Yes, that is indeed our plan." Fumikage answered only to curse himself when he realized his slip of the tongue, normally he was much better at not referring to himself and Sadi out loud.
"Then you shouldn't handicap yourselves by being associated with a batshit crazy bastard like me." Bakugou told them just a bit venomously.
"Awe, you're not that bad-" Sadi tried to say but Bakugou cut them off "I'm not bullshitting you demented cuckoo bird! I'm a straight up bastard and being friends with me will make a career in heroics a PR shitstorm for you!" the blonde shouted back, his palms crackling with tiny bursts.
Sadi flinched back due to the unexpected light but didn't retreat into Fumikage's body like usual "Why?" Sadi asked hesitantly from their place hovering over his shoulder.
Bakugou's sudden anger was gone as soon as it came, and he seemed to collapse in on himself "Have you ever heard of a QTP site?" Bakugou questioned his voice meeker from, shame? Fumikage thought it was likely shame.
"A QTP site?" Fumikage repeated confused and Bakugou buried his face in his hands muttering curses under his breath.
"Of course, you fucking choir birds haven't heard of... I'll just fucking show you, QTP is short for 'Quirkless Torture Porn'." Bakugou explained causing Fumikage's stomach to drop as the blonde pulled out his phone.
Before either of them could ask why the hell Bakugou knew that kind of thing existed the blonde forced his phone into Fumikage's hands, and his eyes saw the screen was taken up by a black video site with a video titled: Deku just doesn't f**king learn! , waiting to be played, numbly Fumikage stared at screenshot of a young Bakugou using his quirk and a green haired boy sobbing uncontrollably mid yell at the blonde in question.
"What is... " Fumikage tried to ask but couldn't bring himself to as he looked at videos in the related bar and saw even more presumably of the blonde attacking the greenette if the titles and thumbnails were to be believed.
"I didn't post any of this shit but I figured someone would've at some point, but I'm pretty fucked up in the head and did a bunch of crap where I bullied this kid because he was quirkless for a long ass time before someone finally ripped my head out of my ass." Bakugou dis-heartily explained crossing his arms and refusing to meet his eyes.
"This can't be legal." Sadi hissed horrified and Bakugou's eyes seemed to scream with bloodlust.
"No one gives a fuck about quirkless people in this country to care, but I tried to get the site shut down because it has minors in it without our permission, and it was... for three fucking days before it rebranded itself and reupload all its content. Would complained to the boss of the police but," Bakugou told them before he scrolled down to the comment section and Fumikage felt his blood boil as he recognized the local chief of police's 'official' verified account left a positive comment on 'Deku's' treatment in the video.
"The internet is a bitch and a half that never forgets so I'm going to have to wade through a lot of bullshit if I want to be a hero to make up for all the shit I did and you shouldn't have to deal with any of my crap when it has nothing to do with you birdbrains, so I'm telling you that you don't want to be my friends, got it?" Bakugou hissed at them taking his phone back.
Fumikage's eyes went up to Bakugou expecting to feel some form of disgust, but he was still numb from the shock of this bomb drop, and in this numbness, he noted the disgust and shame on Bakugou's face as he glanced at his phone's screen before he quickly left the site.
"Bakugou," Fumikage said unsure what he wanted to say or if he even had anything he could say about all of this and Sadi wasn't much better off.
"I know I shouldn't be here Patchy, that in any other situation I would've been locked away as a violent criminal for what I did... but I am here, and I'm going to do what I can to make myself someone worth having a second chance that someone fucking gave me." Bakugou said with a seriousness he never would've expected "And if for some reason you two are still crazy enough to want to be involved with me, then you should at least be aware of the literal shitstorm you're walking into." Bakugou added before he grabbed his things and quickly left.
"Fumi... " Sadi called lightly tugging on his sleeve and looking up to him conflicted and unsure what to do, a question unasked but did not need be spoken between the two of them.
Katsuki glared saw he lightly picked at his food, the urge to eat stolen away as he was surrounded by dozens of his peers mind-numbing chatter and couldn't hear himself think, which might be a good thing right now since he didn't want to focus on how tight his chest felt since he told the penguins about... Izuku.
"Hey, is that Tokoyami?" He heard one girl say and his head shot up *Patchy, Potty? Inside?* Katsuki thought confused, the two never ate inside the building and he would've preferred to do that as well.
But once he looked over his shoulder there they were walking over to his table, the one everyone else would leave him alone at because he'd snap at them if they tried to get to close, he stared at them as they stood beside him in silence for a few seconds... then they sat down beside him.
Katsuki blinked, his heart skipping a beat and he told them "You two have to be so fucking braindead."
Katsuki saw the eye on the right side of his head suddenly gain focus and look at him "Perhaps, either way we shall embrace the abyss if it is our fate to be cast down for our alliance." Patchy told him.
Katsuki bit his lip and clenched his fists "It's your death idiots." he spat half-heartedly.
You know how canon Katsuki is always snapping at his "friends"... yeah this is my take on that, Katsuki wants to be friends with them but refuses to allow himself this because he realized what he had done to Izuku was so monsterous wrong that when the bakusqaud trys to be friends with him he shoots them down since he doesn't deserve any and doesn't want to ruin their futures by being friends with him and calls them names and be mean like he used to do with Izuku hoping they'd leave him alone... however the canon bakusqaud is too dense to notice or enjoy riling him up (Mina).
On a second note, QTP is based on a term I heard about in coolcat001100's top ten problems with modern spongebob video. There are different types of QTP sites as there are different "genres" of illegal videos and the one Katsuki is showing Fumikage is a "tamer" one, as Katsuki would never go on any of the more "hardcore" sites.