Spiders aspired to be the most powerful on the plane; but its Harmonica who succeeded in becomoning the most something for she is the most political Hermione on that plane! Harmonica is very into voting rights and abortions; she thinks about leadership too.

"What kind of plane flies through the air, circling the globe endlessly for years on end without some sort of leadership!" Harmonica implores all the student/passengers around her!

"But who could possibly take on such a weighty task!?" Asked a first year Ravenclaw.

"DAMN" Harmonica thought to herself; she had worried that this might happen and yet had failed to plan for such a contingency!

Then she remembers that she is really into politics and voting and she tells everyone they have to vote.

"You all have to vote who our leader will be!" Harmonica tells them with pieces of paper and soon they handed back their sneakily folded pieces of paper.

There is something inherently cowardly about voting, Harmonica decided, but she did her best to hide her overwhelming disdain, forgive them father, they know not what they do...

But then it turns out that just having those seven random students take an informal vote wasn't as good idea as it seemed at the time... The final tallies were

Cardi B: 1 Vote

Spider Man: 1 Vote a piece for Miles Morales and Peter Paker versions

The Pilot received one vote as well but he was long gone so Harmonica had no idea...

Play Station 5: 1 Vote

A drawing of a rainbow also apparently got a vote because one of the kids had dropped their folded piece of paper into Harmonica's ballot box with nothing upon it but a crudely drawn, 3 color rainbow...

So all in all there just weren't enough people voting and since there was no formal ballot that meant that just about any and everyone or thing would get a vote!

Harmonica had no idea how to accomplish the entrenchment of a fully formed political system with opposing parties and real official ballots and not just fingerprint smudged corners of the Return to Hogwarts Daily with random fictional character names and drawings on them! That's when she remembered that that girl Luna Lovegood was the editor of an independent newspaper that circulated the plane!

Luna's paper had been steadily building readership until the succession of cataclysms began rocking the plane, beginning when she and Spiders had discovered that the pilot was missing. Once students started dropping dead left and right and whole sections of the plane had to be cleared out closed off and repurposed as charnel houses and no one seemed to have time to read about the social scandals and galling gaffes she observed, or occasionally invented whole cloth like the time she claimed that Fred and George Weasley had snuck off an unoccupied section of the plane for an elicit coupling, Gross!, the byline had read; gay twins diddling each other and them redheads at that! just imagine what their babies will look like!

But anyways the paper was facing hard times and Luna had to really lay into the elfs to make sure the papers were being delivered and read, weather the recipient willed it or no...

"You lazy elf!" Luna bonked an elf on the head the first time it had dared tell her that no one was interested in her Airborne Flouride issue. The rest of that issue she had filled with music reviews

Lets take a closer look;

here's a selection from her incredibly irrelevant review of1999's So Real; Mandy Moore's breakout album.

'what would otherwise

be a trite and cliche affair the album is elevated by the constant lyrical implications of the then presidents

family and its alarming connexion to mossad and arabic terror-community, of which Moore is a staunch supporter;

the couplet;

watch them towers fall! (Death!) (yeah yeah yeah)

Watch the smoke plumes rise! (to) (oh baby)

America your end is nigh!

while seemingly another low effort generic crowd pleasure hook for a chorus if one were to look closer

the singers blatant admission to not only support of the actions taken by u.n forces that day but also her own

personal involvment, for the purpose of sexual liberation (as explored further in the closing track 'Kiss of the strangling vine")

etc.

Well, despite her fanciful ideas of what constituted as news Harmonica figured it was in her best interest to just 'play along' and that eventually Luna's shocking inability to string together coherent sentences would prove a most powerful weapon against voter apathy.

But she forgot to take into account Luna's hurt feelings over Spiders' secret girl's penis and the fact that Harmoinca herself is a Hermione would only make things worse!

So the now 7th Hermione decides the best way to get on Luna's good side is to indulge her conspiratorial views. "So, that alien probe disguised as an innocuous space rock was clearly cataloguing the biometrics of every living being on earth so that when Project Blue Beam is initiated the interdimensional reptioids and the shadow leaders of the United Nations will be able to merge their sinister aims."

Luna slit her eyes, unsure if she were being patronized; "interdimensional reptids," she corrected, "obviously the Reptoids originated from the blazing heart of our planet, that is until the hidden civilizations behind the icewalls of Antartica wiped them out; the true reason for War World 2"

"Yes," Harmonica agreed nervously, she was completely winging it now, "obviously the second Great War was merely a cover for the warfare of these higher beings, who could possibly notice the core of the planet being disintegrated with so much destruction occuring simultaneously on the surface!"

Luna grinned lustily, she finally had Harmonica right where she wanted her! "So you admit that you think the Hololcaust never even happened!?"

Unbeknownst to Harmonica Luna had surreptitiously guided her to this meeting, this increasingly risqué conversation for the malign intent of slandering the newest Hermione in her paper. Had Harmonica manifested into the 'stairway dimension' earlier she may have caught all the other articles that young Lovegood had published trashing the Hermiones that came before her.

Instead she said; "weellll... it is illegal to question it in several countries..."

Luna began laughing with malice; "great, looks like I got all I need here," she said, and turned her pocket conversation recorder off with a flick of her wrist. All of Luna's finger bones are incredibly brittle because the calcium has been completely leached out of her system by all the Morphine; as such to actually depress the stop/start button on her recorder would have likely shattered the tips of her fingers so instead she grappled it in her slick, grimy palms and flicked her wrist toward the wall which completed the task she sought enacted for her!

Harmonica had no idea what was going on!

...But she knew she had better act, and fast!

Harmonica began by gently sliding two fingers up Luna's rectum, twirled them around her puckered opening. There was a colorful residue of glitter festooning Luna's southernmost regions and when Harmonica pulled her hand back to lick it clean she began choking immediately on all the sparkles!

"You stupid bitch!" Luna laughed. "AHAHAH; don't you realize that I have anticipated your every move!? It was a matter of simple childsplay to fill my vagina and anus with millions of particles of shiny, deadly glitter to entrap you once and for all!"

"RRRRHGGGG! AAKKKKKKKKK!" Harmonica spat, clutching at her tightening throat!

Harmonica couldn't believe her rotten luck! First Luna threw her cat out the window and now she was choking to death on Luna's shit stained glitter!

She began rolling desperately upon the floor kicking over a passing 1st Year Ravenclaw girl. This particular student had given herself a serious stomach ache eating rotted elf meat and upon falling on the ground immediately began shitting and vomiting and pissing everywhere, also blood sprayed like a torrent out of her nostrils. Harmonica began to drown in this unknown childs fluids even as she choked on Luna's damning glitter!

Harmonica, on the ground now, coughed out another cloud of sparkling death.

"You thought you could deceive me!" Luna roared, " your pathetic tricks won't ever convince me that gray aliens aren't actually a holdover race from pre-history, a species dominant on this planet before the cyclical cataclysmic pole shift hid them away! Why else would the CIA classify the Adam and Eve Story by Chan Thomas?"

Luna sure doesn't like to be lied to so it really burns her up that Harmonica was probably trying to do that... But anways Luna looked out the window and saw... Nibiru!

and it was closer than ever!