After slowly climbing to their feet (and then backing away from Kali as quickly as they could), Kim, Ron, Tim and Jim finally faced facts:
Halloween had come early. Sort of.
Only THIS 'trick-or-treater' wasn't here for candy...
They had come face-to-face with a genuine monster, imbued with incredible powers. And as of yet, unknown intents and purposes.
"Man oh man..." whispered Ron as he rubbed his left shoulder, still sore from when he had fallen to the floor with the others. "We weren't wrong when we called tonight the 'spooky sitch', KP..."
"Yeah, no foolin'!" said Tim, as both he and Jim rubbed their sore backs, after which the two of them squinted, stuck out their tongues and blew raspberries at Kali.
"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"
She took no notice.
"So...Kali..." began Kim, slowly and with some effort, while hesitantly looking at Kali's fangs in disbelief, "you're a...a...you're one of those...you know...a-
"Nosferatu" answered Kali, matter-of-factly, her pearly white incisors gleaming under the bright electric ceiling lights as she continued to smile. "Strigoi, wurdalak, ubir-upior, the undead, or in the common, vulgar term that you modern Americans seem to prefer..."
"...a vampire?" finished Ron, in a squeaking, high-pitched tone. "J-just a wild guess, Miss! Y'know, judging by all of the evidence and stuff..."
Kali turned to face Ron and then mockingly clapped her hands together.
"Bravo, bravo! VERY good, my dear boy!" she declared in a breathy, sexy voice as Ron's pale, freckled cheeks suddenly began to flush with color. She tantalizingly licked her lips and shamelessly eyed the quivering young man from head to toe with a hungry stare, and this did NOT escape Kim's notice.
"You look absolutely delectable" whispered Kali, as her burning gaze zeroed in on Ron's throat.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!" roared Kim, taking two quick steps forward whilst suddenly forgetting her fear. "Did you drop in unannounced for a 'liquid meal'? If you are what you say you are, then I really doubt that you're here to ROB the place, seeing as how you would have done it already!"
"Bless me, you're far more intelligent than you look, my dear!" said Kali in a condescendingly kind tone as she smiled sweetly. "Brains AND beauty! What a rare combination!"
"Oooooooohhhhhh..." said Tim and Jim, exchanging faces of shock. "Girl fight!" they whispered.
"Uh oh..." said Ron as he glanced at Kim's face (now looking even scarier than Kali's) as her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open in shocked, fiery anger.
"...you...unbelievable...little..." snarled Kim as she tried hard to think up some really crushing comeback.
"Calm yourself, sweetheart" said Kali, as she took a single, strolling step forward, prompting a sharp gasp from Kim and the others as they backed even further away. "As I said, it is high time that we got down to business. I am here on an errand, you see, my third errand of the night, in fact..."
Her smile grew into a hideous, predatory grin.
"Three out of four..."
"Door to door bloodsucking, huh?" asked Kim with a frown, as Ron and the boys paled and quivered behind her. "You must REALLY be hungry tonight!" Kim balled her hands into tight fists, still prepared to fight, even IF her opponent was a million miles beyond her in strength and ability.
"Sorry, Kali, but supper is OVER and the buffet is CLOSED..."
Kali just sneered and chortled. "Please put your fists away, Miss Possible" she said, rolling her eyes and feigning fear. "I mean, I just couldn't possibly IMAGINE the DAMAGE you could do with THOSE little things..."
"Do you DOUBT me?!" shouted Kim, becoming hotheaded with anger and pride. "Get out of my house, or I'll beat you into a carpet stain!"
"Please stop, Miss Possible!" teased Kali. "Can't you see that you're scaring me?"
"Ladies, ladies!" cried Ron, with an anxious grin. "C-can't we all just get along?"
Kim turned around and fixed Ron (who now wished he had never opened his big mouth) with a death stare.
"Get...along?" she seethed. "Get...along...with that...CREATURE?!"
"You should feel exceptionally grateful and favored, my dear!" said Kali, still wearing a frightening smile as Kim turned back to face her.
"And why should I feel THAT way?" barked Kim. "Why should I feel grateful that some 'Nightmare Before Christmas' reject dropped in on MY movie night?"
"'YOUR' movie night?" cried Ron, offended.
"Not now, Ron!" replied Kim.
"Because...after all..." spoke Kali, her voice growing lower and even more sensual,
"...the master has chosen YOU!"
All was quiet.
VERY quiet.
For nearly half a minute, save for Tim and Jim both sneezing ("Uh, s-sorry guys! Heh, heh!"), it remained quiet.
Judging by the expression on Kim's face, one would have thought she had just received an invitation to Drakken and Shego's wedding. Ron and the twins just exchanged looks of bewilderment while scratching their heads. Who exactly was "the master", anyway?
"I've...been chosen...by the master?" asked Kim, looking very puzzled.
"Indeed, you have! Congratulations, Miss Kimberly Possible!" answered Kali, patronizingly and with another round of taunting applause. "Now, do behave and follow me outside to the black limousine - where both my chauffer - and my other two honored guests - eagerly await. You have an exciting, wondrous future ahead of you, my dear!"
Kim was about to respond to Kali's request with a blunt refusal, but then Ron excitably butted in.
"Ohhhhhhhh, so that's YOUR limo!" confirmed Ron, as he snapped his fingers with a look of wonder. "Say, uh, why exactly did we all feel so sick and weird when we got close to it? I hadn't felt THAT bad since my experience with the tilt-a-whirl!"
"Yeah!" said Tim.
"We all thought we were gonna blow chunks!" added Jim.
"That, dear friends, would be the series of illness-inducing spells and charms placed upon the vehicle" answered Kali. "They're a deterrent. We can't have nosy interlopers - such as yourselves - snooping around where your intrusion is both unwarranted and unwanted. Apologies..."
Her words hung heavily in the air, as the hallway, with its five occupants, went dead silent all over again. But not for long.
Kim spun around and glared threateningly at her younger brothers, the tender group hug they had all shared less than an hour earlier now pushed right out of her memory.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" she screamed as Kali burst once again into cruel, cackling laughter. "How could you be so careless and stupid to invite that...THING (she pointed towards Kali)...into our house? Oh, just you WAIT until MOM and DAD find out about this! You are both SO GROUNDED!"
"H-hey, we didn't know that this would happen!" cried the twins, angrily.
"Yeah, and she didn't look like THIS!" cried Tim.
"When we met her, she just looked like some boring business-lady wearing clothes like Mom does!" said Jim.
"EXPLAIN!" Kim demanded. "Don't you skimp on the details and don't be vague! You two are always keeping secrets and I am fed up with it!"
"Y'mean like our webcomic?" asked Tim.
"We were GONNA take it down! Honest!" said Jim.
Kim pursed her lips and turned up her nose as she cocked an eyebrow.
"Okay. Seriously. What IS this webcomic that I keep hearing about-"
"Guuuuuys, I think we're losing focus, here!" cried Ron, anxiously.
"Okay, okay, here's what happened!" shouted Tim, as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets and stared angrily (and a little bit ashamedly) at the floor. "Someone came to the door yesterday, alright?"
"When?!" demanded Kim.
"It was right around, um...sunset..." said Jim.
"And?!" demanded Kim, again.
"We, uh, heard the doorbell ring and we opened the door" said Tim.
"And SHE was standing there" said Jim, as he pointed at Kali. "But yesterday, she just looked normal-like, and wasn't all pale with red eyes and stuff.
"Yesssss, I remember it well!" said Kali, her voice oozing like poisoned honey. "And the two of you were just SO polite, too! After you had opened the door and I had introduced myself, I believe you said 'Who's THIS lady?' and 'Whaddaya' want?' Such WELL-mannered little gentlemen you were!"
"Ugggghhhh...figures" wailed Kim, with a sigh.
"And THIS is why I NEVER answer the door after the sun goes down!" said Ron, self-righteously. "Cos' you just never know what kinda' trouble you're inviting in!"
Tim rolled his eyes (he and Jim did that a LOT, it seemed) and continued his recollection. "She said she was from some, like, corporation or something and that she wanted to talk to mom and dad about some free things they were giving out. And then...she asked if she could... come in..."
"And then...I...I can't really remember anything else!" said Jim, with surprise as he scratched his head. "Only other thing I remember was her weird eyes staring at us...like she was, uh-"
"Hypnotizing you guys?" Ron butted in. "Yep, yep...NEVER should have answered that door!"
"Y-yeah...and...THEN..." began Tim as he rubbed his head while looking very confused, "we said... 'yeah...come in'"
Kim fired an angry accusing glance at Kali, who only continued to smile that same maddening smile, obviously enjoying herself immensely.
"And I'm QUITE sure that you are all aware of the lore..." said Kali. "Once one of OUR kind has been invited across the threshold, we may come and go as we please..."
"Hey, can you only turn into bats?" asked Ron out of the blue, his curiosity outsizing his fear yet once again. "Because, like, I once read this short story about a vampire who could turn into a platypus-"
"Ron, please!" asserted Kim, as she turned her attention back to the twins.
"She didn't HURT you guys, did she?" asked Kim.
"Naw, but I don't remember much else after that" said Jim. "But I, uh, DO remember that she was talking with mom about the free restaurant thingies she was giving away, and about how much she liked how mom had decorated the house, and all this other boring crap..."
As Tim and Jim regaled Kim with yesterday's events, Ron noticed that Kali was gazing at him with a most unusual expression - the very same expression HE would have when he would unwrap his tacos at Bueno Nacho. He tried to remain motionless against the wall, seemingly fearing that if he made any kind of movement, Kali might suddenly get the munchies and drain him dry.
"Oh, yeah!" cried Tim as he clapped his hands together. "She also asked about YOU, Kim!"
"Me?' asked Kim, as she glanced back at Kali.
"Yeah..." said Jim. "She saw your framed picture on the table, and she acted all surprised and fangirly, like 'Oohh is this where THE Kim Possible lives? i Am JuSt sUcH a BiG fAn! duuuuuuurrrrrrr..."
"I'll bet she didn't say it like THAT..." muttered Kim.
"Oh, but I really AM a big FAN of yours!..." sneered Kali with bitingly dry sarcasm. "And of course, I had to confirm if this really was the correct residence I was looking for, which your photograph later proved to me. But please understand, Miss Possible, we have been watching you for quite some time, now. And the master is VERY impressed with you!"
"We?" asked Ron. "W-we? As in, plural? You mean there's...MORE OF YOU?"
"Questions for later, Ron" said Kim as she patted him gently on the back, his jersey practically soaked with nervous sweat. "Let's try and stay on track, here."
She turned back to face the vampire woman.
"'Watching me', huh?" she thought, as all of the night's riddles were slowly being solved.
"So THAT'S what those free vouchers for Chez Couteaux were about, huh?" asked Kim. "You - and whatever weirdos you work for - needed to get our parents out of the house for the evening so that you would have less trouble getting to us? Or at the very least, to me?"
"That is correct" said Kali. "My word, your acumen is just dazzling..."
"So tell me this, Kali" asked Kim, as she crossed her arms and glared daggers at the pale villainess, "are you responsible for all the weird stuff that's been happening to us tonight?"
"Most likely" answered Kali.
"The creaks and groans and 'bumps in the night' that we heard from downstairs?"
"Yes."
"The electricity being cut?"
"Yes."
"That freaky cold mist outside?"
"To be fair, that would be my master's doing. He is quite powerful, you understand, and is able to gather the forces of nature under his sway when it is so required."
"Y'know", began Ron, now flat and spread-eagled against the wall, "that would be SO cool if you weren't trying to...uh...y-yeah...what DO you want with us, anyway?"
"It is only Miss Possible that I require from this particular household, tonight" answered Kali. "The master has his plans for her and the others, and I am not privy to them. But since the evening thus far has gone so very smoothly, and it appears that I have a bit of time to spare, I was hoping to spend some quality, intimate time with a...young man...unless your hotheaded young lover here objects to it?
"You'd better believe I object to it, you disgusting hussy!" snapped Kim before the surprised (and breathless) Ron could even get a word in. Kim marched straight up to Kali and stood directly and defiantly before her, the voluptuous vampire woman looming over her like some kind of terrifying statue.
"He's TAKEN!" roared Kim. "Not to mention, he's still ALIVE - unlike YOU, obviously - so he's probably not even your type!"
"I do believe that the boy can decide for himself whom he would rather receive pleasure from" said Kali, as she daintily licked her fingertips with her glistening pink tongue.
"EWWWWWWW! GROSS!" shouted Tim and Jim in disgust, throwing up their hands and looking away.
Laughing quietly to herself at the twins' reactions, Kali glanced over at Ron, who was actually enjoying all of the female attention more than he thought he should.
"So tell me...Ron...how is she?" asked Kali.
"How...h-how IS she?" asked Ron, gulping and sweating rivers. "W-well, Kim's the best thing that ever h-happened to me, Miss Kali! Sh-she's smart, she's funny, she's, like, SUPER-sweet and she's just SO pretty! She literally means EVERYTHING to me!"
In spite of the peril they were all in, Kim temporarily forgot about all of it, as her heart fluttered wildly, and a huge, teary-eyed grin began to slowly spread across her face as Ron laid it all on like the sweetest icing.
"No, no, no..." said Kali as she gently shook her head. "I mean, to what heights does she... arouse your passions?"
"...huh?" he asked.
Ron looked lost and confused as he stared blankly into space, but Kim knew exactly what Kali was alluding to. And she wasn't happy.
"Shut...your...mouth..." growled Kim as she clenched her teeth in rage. "Talk like that again, and I'll turn my brothers' baseball bat into a stake, and I'll be making you into Kali kebabs..."
"H-hey!" cried Ron, angrily, as he finally 'got it'. "Th-that's none of your business, lady! A true gentleman, such as the ol' Ronster here, NEVER EVER discusses things like THAT with a total stranger! Nope! Never! Nuh-uh!"
Tim and Jim smiled deviously at each other as the little drama played out before them.
"I think this vampy lady has a thing for Ron!" said Tim.
"Yeah!" said Jim. Kim is jellin' SO bad right now!"
Kali's eyes began to glow even brighter as a cold rush of wind suddenly blew down the hall, from whence it came, no one knew. In a flash, she had crossed the hallway (maybe teleported, even) and was now standing face-to-face with the terrified Ron, his normally large and animated brown eyes now dilated to tiny little pinpoints on fields of white.
"What the hell?" cried Kim, thunderstruck by Kali's unearthly speed.
"I'm about to MAKE it my business" she hissed, as her seductive temptress features suddenly exaggerated into those of a wild, hungry beast.
Ron's face went as white as the drywall he was leaning against. He smiled sheepishly and made one final attempt to save his mortal ass.
"Ummm...a-any chance I can...talk you outta' this?" he begged.
"...NO..."
"RON, WATCH OUT!" screamed Kim.
"Aww, man..." groaned Tim.
"He's vampire chow!" shouted Jim.