Kim, with her hand still clenched in a tight fist (and hovering just an inch before Kali's face), glared at the strange figure standing at the very end of the hall. Ron, Tim and Jim also stared with surprise at the unusual newcomer, as Kali, with a cougar-like snarl, stood up at full height and crossed her arms in annoyance, her red eyes flashing dangerously.
"You should have stayed in the limousine!" she growled. "Everything is quite under control!"
"Oh, I'm QUITE sure that everything is under control!" replied the stranger. "Everything, that is, except for YOU!"
The figure who spoke was a short, chubby, bespectacled man beneath a thick mop of brown hair, dressed impeccably in a dark gray, double-breasted suit with a coordinated gold-colored tie and pocket square combo. He was standing up straight in a disciplined, erect posture with his hands clasped primly behind his back and a rather unsettling smile on his face, his thick, prominent "fish lips" giving him a grotesquely comical appearance, as if he might tell a knock-knock joke just before killing you in some horrible fashion.
Tim quietly giggled and nudged his brother. "Hey, does that look like a toupee that he's wearing?" he whispered.
"Ha!" answered Jim, just barely keeping his laughter contained. "It looks just like that woodchuck that dad ran over last year!"
"Ah, and you must be the Miss Kimberly Possible!" exclaimed the strange man as he gave a courteous bow in Kim's direction. "Allow me to introduce myself! My name is Klaus. Chauffeur to the illustrious Mr. Maxwell McDougall, head of McDougall industries, as well as to his personal assistant, the lovely and one-of-a-kind Miss Kali, whom I see that you are already acquainted with!
"Oh, we're acquainted alright!" laughed the trembling, bug-eyed Ron, his nerves now completely shot to hell as he sank down to the floor. "Like, super-duper deluxe with cheese acquainted..."
Kim's face was set in a bizarre, flabbergasted smile. Could this night possibly get any weirder?
"Hey, anything's possible for a Possible!" rang her dad's friendly voice inside her head.
"Yeah...sure seems that way!" thought Kim, her inner voice cackling like a crazed madwoman.
"Such a tremendous honor to meet you at last, my dear!" continued Klaus with a wide, creepy smile as he bowed again. Tim and Jim watched intently, wondering if his "hair" would fall off with each little bow that he made, but it seemed to stay put well enough.
"My hair is quite real, lads!" chimed Klaus, as he fixed Tim and Jim in the cold stare of his thick, coke-bottle lenses. "Care to run your hands through it to confirm that fact?"
"Oh, n-n-no, that's cool!" they replied with awkward smiles ("what a FREAK!" they thought to themselves.) Though as the twins made eye contact with the grinning man, they saw (or thought they saw), the faintest glimmer of red behind his glasses. Almost like...flames...
"Why does our family attract nothing but weirdos?" asked Tim in a trembling whisper.
"I dunno..." answered Jim. Probably Kim's fault.
"Oh, the pleasure is ALL MINE!" said Kim through clenched teeth with exaggerated niceness as she gave a mocking little bow in return towards Klaus. "Can I get you anything, sir? Coffee? Tea? Blood cocktail? I mean, ANY friend of Kali's is a friend of MINE! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"
"Uh, KP?" asked Ron, his face grave with concern as he slowly rose to his feet. "You, uh, doin' alright? Y'seem a little...RANDOM right now."
"Oh, I'm just FINE, Ron!" she answered, as she spun around to face him with a huge and frightening grin. "NEVER BETTER! I mean, I am pretty much a THOUSAND percent done with this night, but I guess this night just WON'T be done with ME until I am pushed right over the edge! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" She buried her face in her hands and began to laugh maniacally.
"Hoo boy..." whispered Ron. "I wonder if, uh, Mrs. Dr. P still has that straitjacket lyin' around somewhere..."
Kali, who was only mildly amused by Kim's little nervous breakdown, was still gazing intently at Ron's throat as he desperately tried to get Kim to calm down; the faint, throbbing sound of the blood pumping through his veins was slowly driving her mad with hunger.
"To hell with you, Klaus..." she muttered. "I'm starving..."
"Kim? KIM?" shouted Ron, as he gently rubbed her shoulders, "I NEED you to simmer down, kay'? Everything is cool, okay? Everything...is...cooooolll...-"
"No, it isn't!" laughed the twins.
"Guys, hush!" shouted Ron, as Kim began to babble something about wanting the paddy wagon to take her away. "Can't you see that your poor sister's gone one chip short of a naco?"
*HISSSSSSSSS*
"Oh man..." squeaked Ron, with a gulp. "I REALLY hate that sound!"
He hesitantly wheeled around to see Kali stalking towards him, a look of insane hunger etched across her face as she slowly reached out her hands to ensnare him. Her mouth was wide open, gaping like that of a shark's - getting ready to tear and rend its victim into little bits of flesh and bloody red foam.
With his eyes nearly jumping from their sockets, Ron literally screamed his head off in fright and then clumsily staggered backwards, holding his quivering hands out before him to ward her off.
"N-NO TOUCHY!" he shouted. "A-AND NO SUCKY, EITHER! I-I'm SERIOUS!"
"No...touchy?" laughed Tim.
"No...sucky?" laughed Jim.
"Apologies, my dear friend" whispered Kali as she continued her advance, running her tongue along her lengthy, sharp teeth. "Because there is going to be PLENTY of BOTH..."
Ron kept whimpering and toddling backwards aimlessly until he bumped right into Klaus's chest; strangely, it didn't even feel like he had bumped into a being of flesh and blood - more like a cold, heavy, immovable marble statue that had been dressed in a suit of human clothes.
Ron quickly turned around and felt a little jolt of discomfort run through his system at the sight of the strange little man - equal parts comical and equal parts frightening.
"And a good evening to you, Mr. Stoppable!" rang out Klaus' voice in a merry tone. "Having a bit of trouble with Miss Kali? My, my, she certainly is a HANDFUL, isn't she?"
"Y-yeah, howdy!" replied Ron, with a forced smile. Klaus just eerily smiled back, his enormous lips reminding Ron of the fish he had caught with his uncle out on Cape Cod last Summer.
"Ummmm...n-nice weather we're havin', eh Mr. Klaus?" stammered Ron, trying to force some small talk during the tense situation.
"My word, it really IS simply the nicest weather, isn't it?" replied Klaus, good-naturedly. "Dark and gloomy with just a hint of Winter's chill...simply MAGNIFICENT-"
With an angry huff, Kali halted her attack and clapped her hands to her hips, curling her ruby lips back and fixing Klaus with a threatening grimace.
"What do you want, Klaus?" snapped Kali, as she continued to eye Ron hungrily. "Shouldn't you be making certain that our OTHER two passengers are comfortable out there? After all, the master would be VERY displeased if we let his prizes escape."
"Oh, my DEAR Miss Kali, please put your mind at ease!" replied Klaus, as Ron quickly jumped to the side, out from between their 'line of fire'. "Rest assured, our honored guests won't be going anywhere..."
"How can you be certain of that, Klaus?" barked Kali, her tone growing more and more impatient. "Our master does NOT tolerate failure in any way, shape or form..."
"Uggghh...my head..." wailed Kim, having finally come back to her senses and nursing a terrible headache. "I need an aspirin, a massage and a trip to the Caribbean..."
"Pssss! KP!" whispered Ron with a sharp hiss. "KP, over here!" Ron tiptoed over to Kim as Klaus and Kali were lost in their argument. Tim and Jim, meanwhile, seemed highly entertained by the escalating conflict between the 'vampy lady' and her tubby little assistant, nudging each other and giggling uncontrollably.
"Huh?...R-Ron! What's going on?" cried Kim, her face colored in wonder and surprise. "I...I think I might have...left the planet for a few minutes there!"
"Oh, thank the good dude above that you're back, KP!" cried Ron as he threw his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. "Can I get you anything? Aspirin? A massage? A trip to the Caribbean? I can manage the first two, but the third will take some logistics and planning..."
"Oh my GOD, I don't know what I would do without you, Ron!" she cried as she hugged him back even harder. "Thank GOODNESS you dropped in tonight!"
As Kali and Klaus argued back and forth - with Kali's voice becoming increasingly agitated as Klaus' remained calm and civil - Ron pulled Kim in close for a quick, clandestine chat.
"So, uh, KP!" he began, "ummmm...what now?"
"I...I don't KNOW, Ron!" she answered, hopelessly, throwing her arms up in the air. "I think this is ONE fight that we're just not gonna' win...I don't stand a CHANCE against Kali...and as for this new guy, Klaus or whatever...who KNOWS just how strong HE might be..."
"Yeah, but on the other hand...can you BELIEVE it, Kim?" Ron cried, as he pressed his eager face into Kim's. "A real...life...VAMPIRE?! Who can, like, do magic and stuff? I ALWAYS knew that this stuff existed out there! It's like an episode of 'The X-Files'...but for realsies!"
"Ron!" cried Kim, in shock. "Are you actually...excited by all of this? I mean, no offense, but there's times where you can barely handle a scary movie, let alone real-life!"
Ron smiled a dopey, lopsided grin as he clapped his hands on the surprised Kim's shoulders. Despite coming just literal INCHES from joining the ranks of the undead, he was oddly upbeat and enthusiastic about everything.
"Okay, I'll admit..." he began, as his face began to blush, "...that I WAS so scared a few minutes ago, that I very nearly, well-"
"Peed yourself?" finished Tim, who had silently skulked over to Kim and Ron, along with Jim.
Ron sighed with a frown as his entire face - along with his ears - turned crimson. "Must you two ALWAYS point out my mishaps?" he wailed. "I'm displaying a level of grace under pressure that would be ENVIABLE to most people! And besides...", he puffed out his chest and proudly placed his hands on his hips, "I haven't lost my pants even ONCE today!"
It was true. He hadn't
"You're...you're right, Ron! You haven't!..." spoke Kim in a tone of wonder, honestly more surprised at Ron's ability to keep his britches on than coming face to face with the supernatural. "I think that's a new record for you!"
"Yeah, well, the day's not over yet!" laughed Jim.
"Ha, ha..." retorted Ron with a snort.
"So, whaddaya' wanna' do about them?" asked Tim, as he motioned his hand towards their two uninvited "guests", as they continued their own little debate at the other end of the hall.
"Miss Kali, your sense of whimsy - as well as your hunger - are out of control!" exclaimed Klaus, still smiling his weird smile. "You have spent the better part of this evening playing cat-and-mouse with these four! Did you even feed upon any of them, or are you simply amusing yourself?"
"I was about to take a drink from the young man..." began Kali, a venomous grin slowly spreading across her face, "and then you just had to intrude..."
"Is that all you were planning on doing to him?" questioned Klaus, his smile growing even broader. "What about that unfortunate police officer, that you claimed you were only going to 'drink' from, the other evening? When I found the two of you in those bushes, you were creating the most obscene ruckus-"
"Don't tell me that he didn't enjoy it..." said Kali in a sexy timbre.
"Merciful heavens, you are just incorrigible, Miss Kali! SUCH impropriety!"
Their squabble showed no signs of slowing down.
"Soooooo..." said Ron, wearily, as they watched their little feud continue, "any good ideas, you guys?"
"Well, here's the sitch...I think..." Kim began, as she glared thoughtfully at the floor while slowly pacing back and forth. "These two...Kali and Klaus, a...a, well (she still had trouble believing it)...a...vampire...and whatever HE'S supposed to be...are abducting various people from around the city tonight...but for what reason, I have no idea. Apparently, I'm the THIRD one they are trying to capture, and after me, it looks like there's still one more person that they are after.
"The plot THICKENS..." said Ron in a mock-serious tone with a deep frown. "In fact, the plot is now SO thick, we could cut it into slices and serve it with whipped cream and chocolate sauce."
"You're still hungry, aren't you?" teased Tim.
"You're gonna' get FAT!" laughed Jim.
"FOCUS!" Kim seethed. "This is NO time for jokes, you guys! ANYWAY..." she continued, "anyway, it looks like they've REALLY done their homework and planned this out, too. They gave our parents those vouchers for Chez Couteaux to get them out of the way for the evening, and THEN they took down our electricity and cut all of our outside contacts - even with WADE."
"Don't forget their 'magic' limo!" said Tim, clutching his stomach and pretending to vomit. "BLLLEEECCCHHHH!"
"Yeah, I wonder what two people they're keeping prisoner in that thing..." asked Jim. "Could be anybody..."
"And heeeeeeeyyy, who's this mysterious, shadowy 'master' dude that they keep going on about?" inquired Ron. "Just who is it that these two freaks are working for?"
"Ron, we all KNOW who they're working for!" exclaimed Kim. "Klaus just said so!"
Ron gasped and clapped his fist into his palm. "You MEAN that Maxwell McDougall dude? That old billionaire guy who lives on a huge estate on the edge of town? Runs a big ol' company called McDougall industries?"
"Yep! That's the one!" confirmed Kim. "The one who was kind enough to give out free dinners for our parents and who knows who else!"
"I heard that he croaked a long time ago and that it's just some lookalike posing as him now!" said Tim.
"Yeah, and that he's a cannibal..." said Jim, with a weird smile.
"Hey, I read that, too!" said Ron, excitedly. "There's this gnarly website that I frequent that's called-"
"You guys REALLY need to stop reading all of this conspiracy theory junk!" asserted Kim. "At the end of the day, nobody really seems to know ANYTHING about the guy! In fact, I don't think that Maxwell person has actually even been SEEN in public for a good ten years!
"ELEVEN years, actually" said Kali.
Kim, Ron and the twins practically jumped out of their skins at the sound of her voice.
"I...guess they're done arguing!" stammered Ron, with a gulp.
"Yes, it has been just over a decade since our beloved master has gone into seclusion!" said Klaus, who seemed to be stuck with a permanent smile. "And that is why WE carry out his work in his absence. But it must be said, that being in his service is a joy of joys!"
"Well that's, uh, neat! Ha ha haaa!" laughed Ron nervously, with his hands in his cargo pockets. "I'm pretty happy with MY part-time gig at Smarty Mart, though I probably wouldn't go so far as to call it a 'joy of joys' or whatever..."
"So what exactly is going on tonight, Mr. Klaus?" demanded Kim, as she took several steps forward.
"Well, aren't WE brave!" teased Kali. "Looks like little Miss Possible really means business!"
"Forgive me for being just a TEENSY bit offended that you and your toothy lady-friend here have both BROKEN into my home while I'm in the middle of babysitting my twin brothers!" spat Kim, with razor-sharp sarcasm "It MIGHT come as a shock, but it's just a little bit rude, you know!"
"Y-yeah!" cried Ron. "I mean, where ARE your manners, guys?"
"Merciful heavens, where ARE my manners?!" cried Klaus, as he pulled his handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbed at his forehead. "I never even bothered to introduce myself to your younger brothers, Miss Possible!"
Kim looked taken aback. "Hey, n-no, don't change the subject!" she shouted. "You've both TRESPASSED into my home, and I am-"
"Salutations, young master Timothy and young master James jr. Possible!" said Klaus as he bowed yet again towards the twins.
"Uhhhh...what up?" they answered, both of them feeling a bit creeped out by the pudgy little man and his strange mannerisms.
"I see that the two of you closely resemble your genius father, Dr. James Possible sr., just as you, Miss Possible, obviously favor your mother, the sweet and lovely Dr. Ann Possible!"
"Dude, how do you KNOW all of this stuff?" cried Ron, as Kim and the twins gathered around him, the four of them glaring balefully at their two assailants. "Have you, like, been watching us or something?"
"Yes, we have, Mr. Ronald Stoppable!" answered Klaus. "You have ALL been within the lens of our study for QUITE some time, now!"
"Okay, that's...WAY creepy..." said Kim. "May I ask why, exactly?"
"You'll receive your answers - and much more - after you have come along with us" replied Kali. "Are you ready to depart, Miss Possible?"
"I'm...not...going...ANYWHERE with you!" roared Kim. She clenched her teeth and narrowed her pretty green eyes into tense, slanted windows of defiance.
"And that is exactly what the last two individuals said to me this evening, before I was forced to...persuade them" answered Kali, licking her lips.
"What, did you offer them candy or something?" asked Ron with an innocent grin. "Chocolate ALWAYS wins ME over! Especially with hazelnuts or those little bits of toffee! Like, back when I was in Paris with my folks on vacation, I had this REALLY good chocolate with-"
Kali turned to face Ron. His grin instantly vanished when he saw that hers had vanished as well.
"I-I'm sorry, M-Miss Kali!" he squeaked, as his hair stood on end. "I'll b-be shutting up, now! P-promise!"
"Very wise" said Kali, tensely, her sweet, charming voice now shaded with deep tones of threat.
"It would behoove you, dear friends, to avoid Miss Kali's bad side!" said Klaus, still smiling bizarrely. "The last, shall we say, unhappy individuals who were foolish enough to antagonize her were, unfortunately, reduced to little more than crimson stains on the walls!"
"Spectacular..." thought Kim. "Seems that we're screwed no matter WHAT..."
"Well, I'll leave it up to you, Miss Possible" said Kali, as she slowly walked towards Tim and Jim, her face darkening into a hateful scowl.
"Uh-oh..." said the twins, as she approached like an oncoming storm.
"You can come with us by your own accord, after which we shall leave well enough alone. Or..."
With that, she suddenly seized the terrified Tim and Jim by the backs of their shirt collars and then lifted them high into the air.
"OR...I make these two scream in AGONY until you acquiesce to our demands..." threatened Kali as she grinned horribly, the two boys flailing around helplessly and crying out in terror.
"LEAVE THEM ALONE!" screamed both Kim and Ron in a dreadful panic, finally realizing just how far their enemies were willing to go.
"Ah, the bonds of sibling love!" mused Klaus. "How very sweet!"
"OKAY, OKAY, YOU WIN!" roared Kim in desperation. "I'll come with you! Just PLEASE, don't hurt my brothers!"
Ron gritted his teeth in angry frustration as he held Kim in a tight embrace. "KP, just chill! Just CHILL, okay! It's gonna be alright! I PROMISE!"
"H-hey, loosen up lady!" cried Tim.
"Uh-huh!" cried Jim. "I-if you promise not to hurt us and let us go, we have something you might want!"
"Oh?" inquired Klaus, looking amused. "Pray tell!"
Kali turned up her nose and glanced suspiciously back and forth between the two brothers, the both of them now wearing wide, goofy grins on their faces.
"Something...I might...want?" she asked, slowly.
"Just what are you two PLAYING at?" thought Kim, as the concerned Ron kept his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace. "Please, please, PLEASE don't do anything stupid, you two!"
Kali threw her head back and burst into harsh, cackling laughter as Tim and Jim remained suspended helplessly from each of her delicate but terrifyingly strong hands. "What could you two have that I would possibly want?" she asked, still laughing uproariously.
"Ummmm...we've got...uh...well..." stammered Tim, trying to think of literally ANYTHING they could possibly barter their lives with.
"Yes? Go on!" she prodded. "What manner of PRICELESS valuables do you have to offer me?"
"We have PIZZA!" shouted Jim.
There was a long pause.
A very, VERY long pause.
"Oh my dear God..." wailed Kim.
"But, uh, we'll have to warm it up, first!" said Ron. "If you, uh, don't mind waiting..."
Both Kali and Klaus went silent, their expressions bland and flat. Kim and Ron both held their breath as the whole room went unbearably silent.
Without a word, Kali dropped Tim and Jim to the floor with two loud *THUDS*.
"Owwwww!" wailed Tim angrily, as he pushed himself back up.
"Why don't you and the little fat guy just GO AWAY already?!" shouted Jim as he staggered back to his feet.
"Man, your brothers are brave, KP..." marveled Ron.
Kali turned to face Kim, her eyes blazing like hellfire.
"Ron, watch out!" cried Kim as she abruptly pushed him aside; in an instant, Kali had teleported across the hall and was now standing with barely an inch between her own face and Kim's.
"SLEEP" said Kali.
In less than a second, Kim felt all of her strength drain from her body and mind, her vision growing faint and blurry as she drunkenly staggered backwards.
"Kim? KIM?" screamed Ron in horror. "Kim, what'd she DO to you?!"
With an enormous effort, Kim turned her head to the left, just barely making out the blurry shades of yellow and red that were Ron's hair and jersey - the very last things that she remembered seeing before sleep took her completely.
"R-Ron..." she wailed, and then she was gone.