'Duman! Duman! Duman Duman Duman!' Oh good, he was waking up. That punch had been harsh. Of course, not as harsh as when he'd staggered back from it, slipped on some spilled eggnog and fallen into one of the shelves, knocking himself out, but still.

'Okay…how come we had more actual violence in the Christmas special than in the actual series…?' Duman grumbled, rolling his eyes. 'Also…are we tied to chairs?'

'Yeah. We have been for an hour. You were really sawing logs.'

'Are you suggesting I snore?'

'Flat out saying it.'

'So, you're finally awake…' drawled one of the polar bears, but Duman wasn't much bothered.

'Yeah, I took a nap, can you stick a pin in that? Thanks, dude. I snore?! And I thought we were friends.'

'Duman, friends are honest about these things! You snore, it's not your fault.'

'Yeah, but you don't have to announce it in front of the polar bear brigade.'

'They dragged you upstairs, they all know!'

'I'm sorry, but could you two-'

'Shut it, Captain Furry! We're having an argument!' Duman snapped.

'Enough!' The bear slammed his fist onto his desk, and Stella rolled her eyes. Temper tantrum much?

'What?' Duman grumbled. 'Are you really so attention-starved that you can't wait two minutes for us to wrap this up and get to you?'

'Yeah!' Stella agreed. 'This was a private conversation! You've already tied us to these chairs; you could at least let us come to a wholesome conclusion to our argument, like where I say that I didn't realise Duman was touchy about me saying he snores and apologise, and he says he overreacted and he's sorry, the situation is just stressful.'

'I totally did, I'm sorry, Stell.'

'No problem, the situation is super stressful.'

The bear looked between them both. '…The hell am I watching?'

'Friendship!' Stella huffed. 'We'd hug if we weren't tied up.'

'Now, you obviously have something important to say to interrupt that little spat there, so go ahead, share.'

The bear looked like he had no idea what the heck was happening, or why he had opted to keep these two insane people near him, but he shook it off, settling back into his chair and sucking on a candy cane like a cigarette. 'You come into my home, and you try to steal from me. You do this on the day my daughter is to remodel her kitchen?'

Duman and Stella exchanged a glance. '…What…what does that have to do with anything?'

He shrugged. 'I don't know, crime bosses just mention random events their daughters have going on when they want to seem especially aggrieved.'

'HAH!' Duman spun to Stella with a grin. 'I told you! Crime boss polar bear!' He did a little dance in the confines of the ropes. 'I was right I was right I was right!'

'Yes, I Don Sparklebell-'

'Yeah, one minute, dude, still rubbing it in her face. Aw yeah! I was riiiiiiiight!'

Stella rolled her eyes. 'You are being such a child. How was I supposed to know they were criminals?'

'Learn to read the synopsis!'

'I like being surprised!'

'I like being psychic.'

'It's just cheating.'

'Can you both please shut up!' Don snapped. 'You are being held hostage right now!'

'Yeah…' Duman stretched out, fingering the ropes. 'Speaking as someone who's held people hostage, this is pretty shoddy hostage-holding. I mean, you haven't even made a speech yet or explained why you're gonna do.'

'I have been trying to do that this whole damned time!!!' Ooh, looked like he was annoyed…

'Duman, quiet, let's let the guy threaten us. He might have worked really hard on his evil speech.'

'Kinda sad he's gotta work on one; Ogron can ad lib.'

'How nice for him!'

'Anyone says anything else and I will eat them for Christmas dinner!' Don bellowed, and they both shut up. Quite the feat, really. Not that Stella didn't still have several things to say. She had to restrain herself from asking Mr Sparklebell if he might like a breath mint for his overwhelming fish breath. That was not a pleasant scent.

'What would possess you to try and rob me?' Don asked, leaning back and sucking on his candy cane. Stella got the distinct sense he thought it made him look cool. Frankly, it clashed with his outfit.

'Look, dude, you got like forty bottles down there, I don't get why we can't snag some!' Duman argued. Stella wished her feet weren't tied to this chair, she'd have very gently kicked him to shut up before they both wound up on a platter. She couldn't get eaten! She was very sinewy, they'd all be disappointed. Frankly, so was Duman. That would be a very sad Christmas dinner.

Oh, also, they'd be dead and stuff.

'Ignore him,' she interjected. 'Sir, we're really sorry; we promise we intended to pay for it, but my friend insisted that you were both criminals and not accepting credit cards, so we thought we would take just one bottle to save Christmas!'

'Save Christmas?'

'Yes!' Stella leaned forward, employing her best 'give me things because I'm so reasonable and also cute' voice. 'You see, Santa has no more of his special eggnog potion, and he says we need more from you, otherwise he can't deliver the gifts! You must have given him some before-'

'You are with the white-bearded thief?!' Uh-oh. Reactions like that were never good. Especially when the reactor was an eight-foot polar bear slamming his hands into the desk and glowering down at you through a haze of fish breath.

'Uhm…'

'That festive tool has been robbing our family for centuries!' What, for real? Santa stole? 'Ever since we refused to give him a bottle of our eggnog when he refused to use his sleigh to smuggle illegal goods!' Ah.

'You can't ask Santa to do that!'

'Of course I can! I run this city; that man and his way out of these lands was my way to run the world.'

'Hold the phone…' Duman grinned. 'Santa stole! Santa used my exact plan! Aw yeah!'

'Duman, not the time!' Stella snapped. 'Sir, I'm sure we can work something out here…'

'Will you smuggle for me back to your world?'

'Sure,' Duman replied, shrugging.

'No!' Stella shook her head. All this glitter in her hair was staring to get annoying. 'No way. It's Christmas, we won't flood the world with contraband.'

'Ughhhhh…you and your fairy values,' Duman groaned. 'He's giving us an out here; just take it and smuggle his stuff!'

'No way!'

'Stella, I'm not putting 'eaten by polar bears because his friend was a dumbass' on my headstone!'

'There's always a way out, Duman,' Stella sighed, glancing around. She had to admit, she was leaning towards Duman's way of looking at things. She didn't want to get eaten…or whatever polar bears did…but she wouldn't betray her principles and help the guy tying them to chairs to smuggle drugs or stolen art! Yes, she was hanging with a guy that had stolen the wings from a bunch of fairies, shut up. She was allowed her one cheat friend. Plus…if Santa had said no, they'd already screwed his day up enough without betraying his principles.

'Um…' She fidgeted awkwardly with the ropes on her wrists. She tried to summon a sunbeam to sizzle them away, but they stayed stubbornly affixed to her skin. Seriously, what was up with her powers??? '…Would you accept cash?'

'Do you even have cash on you?' Duman hissed. …Good point, she did not.

'No, I would not accept cash! Nobody gets away with stealing from me!' Don came around to the other side of the desk, and Stella's scanning intensified. As fish breath overwhelmed her, her gaze caught on the bottle of eggnog. The heavy glass bottle… Ugh, this was a Christmas special! She was supposed to fix things with peace and love! But this guy wasn't gonna let them go for a hug, so…when needs must…

Rocking her body as hard as she could, she threw herself, chair and all, aside as Don crumpled to the ground, the bottle hovering above his head like a cinnamon scented-angel.

'Nice!' Duman applauded, without the applause. Everyone else just looked dumbfounded.

'Yeah, thanks, but that was all the plan I had in me! Gonna need you to take over!' She paused for a moment. '…And don't kill anyone!'