Toshinori wasn't sure why he expected the second meeting with Nezu and Midoriya to go any better than the first.
Maybe it was all of his talks with the past users that helped him to better understand One For All? Or perhaps he thought that all of the information gathering he'd done with Torino-Sensei had put him on more even footing with the young boy.
But frankly Toshinori clearly wasn't as prepared as he believed himself to be.
Nezu's decision to end the meeting earlier than planned once they reconvened was a bit of a god send and Yagi excused himself as soon as he could.
Toshinori wanted to say he wasn't running from the conversation that Sasaki clearly wanted to have with him.
It was probably a good thing that Tsukauchi wasn't actually at the meeting because he wasn't sure if Tsukauchi would call him out on the lie.
But Toshinori really didn't want to speak with Sasaki right now.
Not when he felt so utterly raw, and every touch made him want to violently recoil as if he was burned.
Toshinori was very lucky that Sasaki hadn't been a U.A. student and that he had Nana's own memories able to guide him away to a private area to calm himself down, or at least attempt to.
He'd never been this worked up before.
Then again, he had never had someone that thought of his odd aversion to quirk use on himself so deeply before and drag it out in the open.
Hell, Toshinori hadn't put much thought into his dislike of quirks used on him before either.
But as he stood in the boy's bathroom on the other side of the school, leaning a bit too much on one of the reinforced sinks and staring at the water pouring down the drain Midoriya's words settled somewhere uncomfortably inside him.
He'd never described the feeling he got when a quirk was used on him before, his mind normally in too much of a panic in the moment and he ignored it steadfast after the fact.
However, as he thought back to the hospital after his fight with All For One, he couldn't help feeling choked and a chill traveling up his spine.
The power wasn't quite working since the fight destroyed a good chunk of the nearby electrical systems and the hospital had to cut corners, one of those was redirecting all of the power to the life-support systems until the power issue was fixed.
Completely understandable, Toshinori wouldn't ever argue that the hospital should have done otherwise but... God damn it.
The near pitch-black room lit only by those cheap LED lights hadn't made the sight of Sasaki any less horrifying when he woke up.
The light seemed to wash out all of the color from the things it revealed.
Everything except the sickly purple glow of Sasaki's eyes as he used his quirk, positioned in just the right angle to stare straight through Toshinori and simultaneously pin him to his bed with how intensely it was focused on him alone.
The drugs were still affecting his vision and his head was full of cotton, but he knew Sasaki's eyes from anywhere, especially when he used his quirk, so he'd known exactly what was happening before he was even fully awake.
And as painfully as it was to admit, even privately within his mind... violated was probably the most fitting word to use for how he felt in that moment.
Toshinori wanted to push Sasaki away from him and get the hell out of that damn room and find the nearest shower and scrub off every inch of his skin, then maybe spend the next three hours under the highest temperature the shower would give him.
But the only thing he could do was lay there wanting to peel off the skin of his arm where Sasaki was holding onto him, as if it would somehow stop Sasaki's quirk from working on him and make that cursed glow go away.
Barely able to speak a word of protest, or even manage a sound that would be louder than the heart monitor next to him that showed how much distress he was in.
Which was probably what alerted the staff who came in and finally forced Sasaki to let go of him finally then out of the room as they rushed to check that he wasn't going to crash on them, unfortunately he wasn't in any fit state to freak out and was put back under soon by the doctors.
(Eighth stop!)
The sudden shout of Hikage made Toshinori snap out of the memory and just in the nick of time as he saw the sink he was holding on to was starting to crack under his white knuckle grip on it.
He quickly retracted his hands and buried them under his arms, somewhat hugging himself as he took a step back, his body still trembling from the aftershock of the memory.
The sound of his racing heart dulling his senses to the squirming of imaginary bugs under his skin and the tightening of his throat as his body prepared to choke up some blood from the stress of the last two hours.
(Toshi breath with me, in, then out.) Nana told him, repeating one of the many breathing exercises Toshinori knew he'd known to help him calm his heart.
The phantom feeling of her hands on his shoulders helping to further ground him to where he was now and not the past.
(We're all here with you now Yagi, just breath.) En said, those words providing him with more comfort than they should.
After some very deep breathing Toshinori leaned back over the sink he almost crushed then spat out the copper and iron-y mix of bloody vile he usually coughed up, the phantom touch of an ungloved hand rubbing his back to help him get it up.
(Yagi, are you back with us?) Youchi asked softly.
Toshinori nodded panting a bit, he brought some water to his mouth with a cupped hand to get the taste of blood out of his mouth.
Though he hesitated for a few seconds, the metallic tang of his own blood a more pleasant sensation than the way his skin was crawling.
He once had bugs crawling under his skin after one particular villain fight and he greatly preferred that feeling over the writhing currently happening right now.
(I think this was why Junior and the Rat wanted you to talk to some shrink Eighth.) Bruce said, and Toshinori didn't need to see the man to know his arms were crossed when he was speaking.
Toshinori let his head hang, shame crawling up his throat because he knew that Bruce was right.
Tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.
(Yagi,) En put his hand on Toshinori's shoulder and over Nana's hand (Everyone needs help, we all did and Ninth will too.) En tried to reassure him.
(Do you know how many sessions I needed after I had Kotaro? Before I could hold him feeling like I was really his mother?) Nana asked moving her phantom hands to cup his hand and hold it to her chest.
(Hundreds, I had to talk with my therapist every day for two years, and even with Goro there for me every step of the way I will never stop feeling like it was my fault he had to stay in the NICU and that I wasn't fit to be his mother.) Nana told him hauntedly.
Toshinori bit his lip, his heart aching for another reason now as he thought of what sort of reason could have led Nana's son to have to stay there.
(Listen up Blondie, I'm going to tell you something important that I had to tell every single person I fought with during the Dawning,) Second growled making Toshinori stiffen up, Second wasn't one to talk very often.
Much less of the Dawning from what the others had told him.
(Bravery and courage aren't the same shit, stupid people are brave and better left forgotten as the fools they were, and the only person who's courageous are the meek. And I would rather have someone meek watching my back than someone stupid.) Second stated.
(Because no matter how much the meek falter in the face of danger, they will overcome it with enough time while the brave throw themselves into the unknown without even thinking if they'll survive it.) Second said, slightly cuttingly.
(And you've been brave for long enough you dunce, it's about fucking time that you gained some courage, do you understand me Blondie?) Second questioned, his hands most likely on his hips.
"Yes... I understand." Toshinori replied, taking a deep breath and then wiping at the tears on his face.
Second's words weren't as uplifting as Nana, En, and Youchi's but there was still a... firmness to them that Toshinori could find a form of support in.
Like when Torino-Sensei once trained him.
The man wasn't all that kind but he helped Toshinori survive and was always there for him, and while he'd like to have someone that was nice like Nana also by his side, there was a touch of charm to the surly-ness the two gruff men had that made him relax.
"So, what do we think about working here?" Toshinori asked, he was thankfully allowed to change the topic and the past users began talking.
(Well, if we do end up going with one of the two second years working here would be a decent cover.) Hikage mentioned, stilling thinking the prospect over.
(I'm in favor of the idea.) En told them all.
(But what about the kids? They'd all be in a great deal of danger if we did.) Nana pointed out concerned.
(Yes, they would, but this isn't some kindergarten Seventh. This is a hero school with most of the staff being active or retired heroes and even more junior heroes waiting in the wings. Even if the bastard did attack here there would be a minimum of fifty competent heroes to take him on, and that's not counting the second or first year classes.) Banjo countered rather logically.
Toshinori blinked, his mouth opening and closing a couple times from his surprise at the revelation.
(Hn, I forget that sometimes that you can actually be smart you Ukulele.) Bruce commented a touch impressed.
(Excuse me? The fuck are you talking about? Last I checked I was the only one of us to go to college you-) Banjo said likely about to get in Bruce's face but he was stopped.
(We aren't going to be fighting right now, we have something more important to discuss than your ego fifth.) Hikage told the two of them.
(Ego!?) Banjo shouted making Toshinori wince.
Having people shout in his head wasn't very nice.
"Eighth, it's likely that we might have to pick between the two kids Junior showed us, if it comes down to it, who will you pick?" Hikage asked, steadfast ignoring Banjo's angry sputtering.
Toshinori's heart flipped.
"I, I don't know." he answered, his eyes falling to the floor, a bit ashamed for his indecisiveness in this matter but at the same time...
Amajiki and Hado were both just kids, older than when he got One For All certainly and Midoriya had made a very good case for both of them, but how could he take away their chance at a normal life?
Second tsked (Is this really discussion? We should go for the girl, Hado.) Second said, his arms crossed near defiantly.
(Why her?) En inquired.
(Cause if Amajiki's quirk doesn't protect him than we'll have to rely solely on him keeping up a diet that he won't be able to continue forever, especially if the bastard figures it out and blocks the supply of it to kill us off.) Second told them.
(Yes, he would do something like that.) Hikage commented.
(But what if Hado refuses?) En brought up, completely surprising Toshinori.
"Who would reject One For All?" Toshinori couldn't help blurting out, making more than one person sigh in his head.
(Because not everyone wants an evil overlord calling for their head or want to complicated bullshit that One For All comes with messing with their original quirk Eighth.) Bruce answered making Toshinori shrink.
"Ah, right, right. Of course." Toshinori replied quickly.
(Well technically we don't need her permission-) Banjo began to say but Toshinori shut him up this time.
"We shall not force anyone to take One For All against their will." Toshinori spat.
There was a moment of stunned silence.
(Huh, first time interrupting the Ukulele kid? Good job reaching your first milestone.) Hikage teasingly said with a pat to Toshinori's shoulder.
(You were the one that picked me!) Banjo yelled.
(Yeah! Because I had so many options when I was dying at the time!) Hikage shouted back.
Another argument erupting between the past users.
Toshinori shook his head and began cleaning up his mouth and clothes, letting the fight become white noise as he did so.
There would be no point trying to break it up, even if he was in the mind space he wouldn't be able to do much.
Author: Did I need to elaborate on Yagi's trauma from Sir using his quirk on him?
Author: No, no I did not.
Author: Am I going to anyways?
Author: Why yes, yes I am.