Ochaco wasn't really paying attention as she rushed past the trees.
She just knew that her blood felt like it was on fire, and her lungs were aching by the time she stopped.
The frantic beat of her heart was drowning out everything except for her panting as her fists shook at her sides.
Fighting back from crying.
She shouldn't cry over, over that asshole.
Her legs threatened to buckle underneath her from running as far as she had without breathing as much as she should have.
But Ochaco refused to allow them to do so, she wouldn't give Bakugou the privilege of falling to her knees and falling apart on the forest floor over him.
She couldn't believe that she ever thought of someone like that as her friend, that Bakugou was actually Izu-Kun's friend.
He wasn't even that nice to anyone and still he somehow tricked her!
Tricked all of them!
Ochaco kicked a boulder and sent in flying into a tree and wanted to scream the dozens of curses that she learned from the South Siders at the top of her lungs.
Instead, she just ended up looking up to the sky and trying not to cry.
"Uki." Jiji said as he and Awa-Kun entered the same clearing she stumbled upon, he moved to come closer, maybe hug her but stopped midway as a fourth person came into the clearing.
Izu-Kun apparently was not that far behind them.
He timidly entered, fidgeting with the end of his scarf as he nervously met her gaze.
"Why?" she croaked traitorous tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
Izu-Kun's mouth opened before it closed a conflicted look passing or his face.
"Why would you let us meet with him? Why didn't you tell us about what he did to you?" she questioned throwing her arms around.
Izu-Kun's eyes fell to the ground.
"Because I didn't want you guys to hate him." Izuku quietly answered.
"Hate him?" Ochaco spat in disbelief "Of course we'd should hate him! He hurt you Izuku!" Ochaco shouted back.
"I know." Izuku muttered one hand holding onto his arm.
"Izuku he could have killed you! He did put you in the hospital!" Ochaco all but screamed stomping her foot "Why would you ever let someone like that back into your life Izuku!?" she exclaimed.
Her anger reaching a peak and finally tears spilled over and fell from her eyes.
Izu-Kun raised his head.
"Because he wouldn't let me forgive him." Izu-Kun answered sadly.
"Forgive him!?" Ochaco hissed, completely taken aback and stared at the boy across from her in disbelief "Izu-" she tried to protest but Izuku interrupted her.
"I know I shouldn't Uki! I know I should hate him! That I should have completely cut him out of my life and never looked back because that's what I would have told my students to do if they were in my situation!" Izuku yelled back at her.
Frustration clear on his face as tears pricked his eyes.
"Because more often than not, abusers will never change and only continue to hurt you! They will just lie that they will until you forgive them and then guilt you if you ever bring it up again!" Izuku told her waving his own arms in his highly emotional state.
"But Katsuki will not let me forgive him even though I would in a heartbeat!" Izuku shouted, sniffing as tears welled up and poured down his cheeks.
"He refuses to let anyone minimize what he did to me! Especially not me since he knows that I would give less of a fuck what he did to hurt me otherwise! Katsuki won't let me forgive him because he knows that what he did to me was unforgivable Uki!" Izuku ranted.
"And he never wants to be that person ever again! That's why he tells people who he used to be! About the things he did to me! Because he wants people to hold him accountable Uki! So, he never backslides back into one of the people that made my life hell!" Izuku exclaimed stomping his foot and his chest heaving.
The four falling silent as she, Awa-Kun and Jiji just stared at Izuku, having never had him yell at them before instead of the gangs.
"Zuri... " Awa-Kun muttered timidly placing a hand on Izuku's shoulder as he cried.
"I-I understand if you can't stand to be around him anymore. Or that you never want to see Katsuki again. That is your choice, and I will never begrudge you that, I won't be disappointed or upset with any of you." Izuku told them much calmer now.
"But please respect that I want to keep Katsuki in my life, that I still want him to be one of my friends despite everything that happened between us." Izuku said as he wiped away his tears.
"I know that it might not be healthy for me to keep someone like him in my life... even if he's changed, but that is still a choice that I need to make, and if Katsuki does become worse again then I won't hesitate to kick his ass and put a bullet in him if I have to." Izuku insisted, even going so far as to pull out his gun.
Ochaco wanted to argue but she wasn't sure what she could say right now.
Though she was too emotional at the moment to actually argue or really think about anything at the moment.
"I think... we need to all go back home right now. For all of us to cool our heads and think about everything." Awa-Kun cautiously suggested, his voice thick as he looked between her and Izuku.
"Yes, that would probably be for the best." Jiji agreed moving over to her side and carefully wrapped his hand around her own.
Ochaco felt the urge to pull her hand out of Jiji's and to insist on continuing, but for as emotional as she felt, she also felt drained, so she took a shaky breath and opened her hand so she could properly hold Jiji's hand.
"... Okay." she relented, feeling like she swallowed something bitter or sour for giving in so easily.
"I'll show you out of the forest." Izuku told them, putting his gun away and then walking away.
The three of them quietly following him out of the woods, Izuku silent the whole way, though Ochaco didn't feel up to talking herself.
Even when they got to the edge of the woods, she couldn't really find any words that wouldn't cause them to start fighting again even if she was less upset.
Ochaco was still angry, but she didn't want to fight about it right now either.
So, she just left with Awa-Kun and Jiji to the train station.
Later that night Ochaco was much calmer as she sat on her bed in her PJs.
Feeling more gutted than anything else in the moment as she fell backwards and stared at her ceiling.
She had been trying to wrap her head around what had happened and why she had reacted so strongly.
Okay, maybe strongly was the wrong choice of words considering she only broke Bakugou's nose and stormed off, a lot of people that knew Izuku would have done worse than that to him.
But that was the first time she had punched someone in earnest, threats of violence had become normal-ish in their friend group when it came to protecting the others, that didn't change her disbelief with herself for breaking someone's nose.
In retrospect she had to admit she really would not have taken the news well at all.
Because she liked Bakugou, he seemed so cool to hang out with before and she loved hanging out with someone that just seemed to get how burned by the world she felt at times.
So now, knowing that he was one of the people that hurt someone so dear to her just, left her blindsided and overwhelmed with her anger and betrayal.
Ochaco did not regret breaking Bakugou's nose.
She did feel bad about yelling and demanding answers from Izuku after she stormed off.
She could have been more tactful and just talk about it with him later, when her emotions weren't yanking her around.
As for how she felt about knowing Bakugou had gone from Izuku's best friend since birth, to one of his abusers and then back to his friend somehow.
Part of her just couldn't wrap her head around it.
She had been bullied before, still kind of was she just didn't pay as much attention to them, but she couldn't see herself being friendly with them.
Well, maybe she would later in life... but that would strongly depend on the circumstances behind why they bullied her and if they apologized to her.
But she would never be more than civil to someone that physically bullied her, and the farthest her bullies went was sneaking those dumb notes in her backpack and talking behind her back.
Bakugou though, he told them flat out that he could have killed Izuku and hurt him so horribly that Izuku had to go to the hospital.
If someone had done that to her, she couldn't even fathom how someone could overlook that and continue to hang out with someone like that, or even be as comfortable as Izuku was with Bakugou now.
Sure, Izuku wasn't hanging off Bakugou's arm or laying on him like he would lay on them, but there was almost no hesitation when Izuku interacted with Bakugou and he happily chat with and sat next to Bakugou.
Especially someone who wouldn't even apologize.
Ochaco groaned into her hands.
A knock on her door made Ochaco blink, and she reached around for her phone to check the time.
Her parents were working late tonight over in another prefecture and wouldn't be home for another hour, a chill crept up her spine as she realized that.
Ochaco moved immediately, grabbed her pocketknife and got to her feet moving to the corner and locked her eyes on the door.
Her body was tense as she prepared herself for just about anything.
Another knock came from the door "Uh, Uki? Are you still up?" Awa-Kun's voice came from the other side of the door.
Ochaco hesitated for a moment, then used her phone to call Awa-Kun and was relieved when she heard his phone on the other side of the door too.
*Oh my god.* Ochaco thought going over to the door and opened to indeed see Awa-Kun, and she immediately punched his shoulder "You asshole! You scare the hell out of me!" Ochaco hissed at him.
Awa-Kun quickly raised his arms in surrender "I'm sorry! I tried knocking at the front door, but you didn't answer that or your phone." Awa-Kun apologized, shrinking away slightly.
Ochaco frowned and checked her phone, and after checking saw a couple of missed calls, calls she missed because she set her phone to do not disturb earlier and hadn't turned it off.
There were also texts warning her that he'd come over to check on her that she hadn't read or seen.
"You did," she admitted pinching the bridge of her nose "How'd you even get in our apartment?" Ochaco questioned.
"Oh, well you guys don't have a chain lock or bolt and I've been learning to pick locks from some of the South Side kids." Awa-Kun bashfully explained rubbing the back of his neck.
"I'll talk with my parents about getting one of those." Ochaco replied, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy knowing the door could be lock-picked by anyone.
She'd put something in front of the door for now, moving the couch would not be that hard.
"Yeah, you probably should, again I'm so sorry for scaring the shit out of you but um, I wanted to see if you wanted to talk about... earlier?" Awa-Kun asked her.
Ochaco bit her lip and leaned against her doorframe "Kinda... " Ochaco confessed hugging herself, it would probably do her best to actually talk things out with someone instead of running circles in her own head.
"Come on, we can talk in the kitchen and have jelly pouches." Ochaco offered pushing off her door's frame and moved to the kitchen area, digging out a couple of pouches for herself and Awa-Kun.
"So... what Bakugou told us was pretty fucked up." Awa-Kun said after having a little bit of his pouch.
"It was majority fucked up Awa-Kun." Ochaco corrected.
Awa-Kun's eyes fell to the counter where his arms was resting "Yeah, it was." Awa-Kun conceded.
Burying one of his hands in his hair.
"Is... is it wrong I want to give him a chance?" Awa-Kun asked timidly as his eyes met her's again.
Ochaco stared at him taken aback and Awa-Kun held his hands up "I know, I know. I know it sounds bad." Awa-Kun told her hurriedly.
"But, it's just... " Awa-Kun tried to defend himself before burying his head in his hands.
"We hang out with all kinds of people in the South Side Uki, I've seen the guy that trains you how to fight with weapons deal drugs and I'm fifty percent sure that the small lady I help with her groceries last week killed her husband and got away with it." Awa-Kun said with his hands moving as he spoke.
Ochaco... couldn't deny that, she had probably talked with a lot of killers when she was asking around the gangs for someone to teach her.
And some of the people there were pretty open with how bad they were, and sometimes they didn't bother hiding what they did for money when they came around.
"And some part of me can't help but call me a damn hypocrite if I just fuck off when we hang out with worse bastards that don't want to change, when Bakugou has been actively trying and ain't a son of a bitch anymore." Awa-Kun told her, with his hand going back to his hair and gripping it.
"Awa-Kun," Ochaco softly said as she put her hand on his.
"I mean, I know the Fucker won't apologize for what he did to Zuri, but he doesn't feel like the flaming bastard does Uki." Awa-Kun said continuing to rant about it, looking conflicted as he did.
"Endeavor ain't apologizing because he is a son of bitch that doesn't even care, and no doubt a hateful bastard on top of everything else... but I think I can understand why Bakugou won't apologize to Zuri." Awa-Kun elaborated with both of his arms resting on the table.
"I mean, there are times when you're going to fuck up, and if you fuck up bad enough it feels like there ain't enough words to express just how much you know you fucked up, but you do know that you really can't make up for the crap you did either, right?" Awa-Kun told her, trying his best to explain himself.
Ochaco couldn't help nodding.
She remembered how she accidently broke one of her parents wedding gifts, a handmade dish set from one of her great-grandmother's, it was one of the few things that they hadn't sold off to pay the bills and Ochaco felt so incredibly bad about it since there was no way to replace it.
She hid the shards and made and thrown away dozens of cards trying to say just how sorry she was for breaking it.
The two were hardly comparable in severity but it was the only thing Ochaco could think of in the moment.
"And like, fuck how could you actually apologize for the crap Bakugou did?" Awa-Kun asked her, looking at her at a lost.
Ochaco's mouth opened then closed and she hung her head.
You really couldn't Ochaco realized.
"So, it's kind of mature or something to acknowledge that he screwed up to that level and refuse to let Zuri say it was water under the bridge or some shit." Awa-Kun said and Ochaco wished she didn't agree with him.
Because she still wanted to be angry, but she had to admit that with Awa-Kun's words that she couldn't think of Bakugou as badly as before.
Even in the height of her anger with him, Ochaco hadn't compared Bakugou to Endeavor even if there could be a kind of parallel since he was the reason she lost a lot of her hero-worship in a pretty dramatic way that was personally painful.
And even now still very anger with Bakugou, she couldn't exactly see the two of them being comparable.
"And when we hung out with him, he was a prick sure, but he and Zuri seemed to be okay with what they were, and Bakugou never overstepped any boundaries or did anything that seemed cruel to Zuri." Awa-Kun pointed out, then sighed.
"So, even though I know I should hate him on principle, and I won't forget what he did to Zuri. I at least want to give him a chance to... to do something, prove he ain't so much of a bastard? I don't know." Awa-Kun told her burying his head in his hands.
Ochaco's eyes fell the table, as she thought about it, the idea wasn't quite comfortable to her but without the blind anger she had to admit she didn't feel nearly as strictly opposed to the idea as before.
She sighed and facepalmed.
"If... you want to, then you can Awa-Kun." Ochaco begrudgingly told him.
Awa-Kun's head shot up, staring at her surprised "Really, you're okay with me still hanging out with Bakugou?" he asked her confused and a little stunned.
"I have a lot of anger over what he did, and that was mainly because he didn't seem like a bully before and I was... blindsided." Ochaco confessed, rubbing a circle into her jelly pouch.
"Maybe I'll feel different about this all later, I might come around to being where you are emotionally or I might never want to see him again, right now though I'd deck him hard enough to lose teeth if we were in the same room again." Ochaco said, just a bit unsure over how she would feel a week from now.
"However, if you want to, then you can go and see him with Izu-Kun," Ochaco assured him "I can't control how you feel about this and trying to wouldn't be healthy." Ochaco commented.
Awa-Kun looked relieved and smiled at her, understanding how painful the words were for her to say at the moment from the way she knew her face was scrunched up.
"Thanks, Uki." he muttered.
Ochaco shook her head and stood up giving him a hug and muttered "It's no problem,"
Then pulled away and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"But Awa-Kun, if you ever break into my house again, I will not hesitate to stab you for it." Ochaco said, making sure to grip his shoulder tightly.
Awa-Kun chuckled uneasily a beat of sweat forming on his forehead.
"No problem Uki, not my best decision." Awa-Kun admitted rubbing the back of his head.
Looks like a cinnamon roll, would kill you: Ochaco Uraraka
Looks like they'd kill you, is a cinnamon roll: Mezo Shoji
Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: Yosetsu Awase
Looks like they'd kill you, would kill you: Izuku Midoriya