Hey, all! I know it's been a while since I updated but I've been a bit busy. First with exams, then I was doing an early summer class, then finally I went on a little vacation. So sorry for the late delay. Anyways, let's just start.
"Quick!" Goten smiled. "Start the next video!"
"Yeah, Mom," Trunks smiled.
"Just wait," Bulma scolded. "I'm putting it in now!"
Cue disclaimer.
Kaiserneko: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
The scene opens up with Gohan trying to wake up Piccolo, who is unconscious from Nappa's attack last episode.
"Well this isn't starting well for me," Piccolo sighed.
Gohan: Mr. Piccolo, wake up! You have to stop him!
Piccoloincoherent mumbles.
Krillin: Don't worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down! I'm sure he'll be here any second!
The scene cuts to Goku eating food at Princess Snake's castle at Other World.
Everyone gives Goku a look.
"Hey, I didn't stop at Princess Snake's house!" Goku protested. "I don't always get distracted by f-"
Chichi throws a meatloaf, which Goku jumps to catch in his mouth.
Goku (with his mouth full): Thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!
Princess Snake: Well, it's the least I could do for trying to eat you like that. But I thought there was...
Goku: Hmm, bacon!
Princess Snake: Something else you had to do? Something about Saiyans...and the Earth?
"I wouldn't forget something as important as that!" Goku said.
"What about the senzu beans?" Vegeta said.
"And the seal for the evil containment wave," Roshi said.
"Plus that vial for the technique," Piccolo agreed.
Goku gulps down his food and takes a long pause
The scene cuts to Goku running on Snake Way.
Goku: Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
"I'd like to mention again that you can fly," Vegeta stated.
Cue opening sequence.
The scene shifts to Gohan still trying to wake up an unconscious Piccolo.
Gohan: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please, get up! Seriously, he's gonna kill us!
Nappa: Well, the green guy's out. Too bad. Guess I'll have to find someone else to play with!
Krillin (thinking):Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! PLEASE NOT ME!
"Thanks for the support, Krillin," Gohan laughed while looking at the shorter man.
Nappa: Eenie-meenie-minie-
Nappa (to Gohan): You.
Gohan: Wh-What?!
Nappa kicks Gohan.
Gohan: AUGH!
Gohan gets sent flying into a boulder and lands on the ground.
Krillin (off-screen): WHOOO! Not me!
The group gives a groaning Krillin a look, spearheaded by a very angry Chichi.
"Now, now, Chichi," Whis said, chains appearing around her. "No one wants you going berserk again."
Krillin notices Gohan does not get up.
Krillin: Gohan?
Nappa looks towards Krillin.
Krillin: Uh-oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!
"Didn't see you help out much," Gohan teased.
"I know!" Krillin groaned.
Nappa: Midget's next! (charges after Krillin) RHAAAA!
Krillin (desperately): Wait! My turn! My turn! My turn!
"What do you mean, your turn?" Marron asked. "Is fighting like a game?"
"What?" Krillin blinked. "No, we don't just fight taking turns. It's not like a game where only one of us fights one on o- Actually, we do usually fight one on one unless the enemy is ridiculously powerful that fight with Beerus!"
"Yeah, we really need to change that habit," Bulma sweatdropped.
"But that takes most of the fun out of it!" Goku whined.
"For once, I agree with Kakorot," Vegeta nods. "There's no honor in ganging up on an opponent."
"When the fate of the world and your family is on the line, I expect your answer to change," Bulma said, the wives giving their husbands cold frosty glares.
Nappa: Oh!
He suddenly stops dead in his tracks.
"HE ACTUALLY STOPPED?" Frieza snapped, annoyed.
Vegeta: What- Nappa, what are you doing?
Nappa: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.
Vegeta stammers in complete confusion while his nose starts to bleed.
Meanwhile, both the actual Vegeta and Frieza groaned as they watch the incompetence of their former subordinate.
Nappa: You okay, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Yes just...just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...
Nappa: Wow, didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.
This made Frieza and Beerus laugh as both Vegeta and Abridged Vegeta give a scream of frustration.
Vegeta:(struggling to restrain his temper) Nine minutes, eighteen seconds... Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...
Nappa: What's that, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Happiest...moment...of...my life.
"What is he- Oh!" Vegeta gave an evil smirk as he realized what's going to happen.
Krillin: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT! I've got a new technique!
He begins charging his Destructo Disc.
Krillin: Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives...
The Z-fighters blink. They gave Krillin a look, the bald martial artist looking sheepish.
"Okay, I admit, my bad," Krillin said.
"Krillin," Piccolo sighed, "next time use that technique immediately. Honestly, not that much of a fan of dying. Same goes for all of you."
Krillin: But, that's besides the point! Get ready for my DESTRUCTO DISC!
Piccolo (barely alive): Laaame...
"Agreed."
Krillin: Now, take THIS!
He throws the Destructo Disc at Nappa.
Nappa: Ooo! A frisbee, Vegeta!
"I'd like to play frisbee after this, daddy!" Marron smiled. "Can we?"
Krillin laughed. "Sure thing, sweetie!"
Vegeta: Nappa, no! It's a trick!
Nappa: But Vegeta, Trix are for kids.
Vegeta: ...You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.
Nappa: Yay, like a doggy! Bow—
Nappa gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain.
Nappa: Ow!
Vegeta sighed. "So close. So damn close."
"He only got a small cut!" Frieza yelled. "That attack cut off my tail!"
Ricola Guy: Riiiicolaaaa...
The disc cuts the top of the plateau off, causing it to fall.
Ricola Guy: OH, GODDAMN IT!
The top collapses into a pile of rubble.
Nappa (seeing the cut on his face): Oh no! My face! My precious modeling career!
"His what?" Bulma deadpanned.
A flashback having his photo taken for a Vogue magazine.
"Gross!"
Nappa: You know, I was trying to be a team player.
He begins charging a blast.
Nappa: Trying to be a nice guy!
Krillin: You killed half our friends!
"Yeah!" Chiaotzu yelled.
"To be fair, a lot of our friends have tried to kill us?" Tien said, looking back at their "allies."
"I'm not your friend, I'm your god, mortal," Beerus growled, taking a slice of cake.
"I only tolerate you," Vegeta nodded.
"And I still want to destroy this stupid planet," Frieza said before freezing from the glare of Beerus. "B-but I won't! I'd never do anything wrong with Lord Beerus's go-to restaurant! Hehehe."
"At least I'm good friends with you all," Piccolo said.
Nappa: I said, "trying!"
He throws blast at Krillin.
Krillin: Well you're failing- Oh, God!
The midget gets hit by Nappa's blast.
Krillin Owned Count: 8
Krillin sighed. "I guess I deserve that for not using Destructo Disc at the beginning."
"I suppose I could have used Solar Flare to make an opening for you," Tien comforted him.
Nappa: And so are you!
"That's a burn, but bad comeback," Goten said.
Piccolo: I'm back!
The Namekian shoots Nappa in the back.
Nappa: AAAAAUGH... Iseewhatyoudidthere.
"That wasn't a good pun," Goku said.
"It wasn't intentional," Piccolo defended.
Piccolo: Now, it's you and me, big guy! And I'm gonna kick your a-
Gohan, also regaining conscious, kicks Nappa into a pile boulder.
Gohan: Take that, you insufferable f**king simpleton!
Everyone blinks in shock and surprise.
"Gohan!" Chichi chastised.
Piccolo: WHOA, Gohan! What the hell?!
"Agreed, Gohan," Videl said.
"You're pretty badass and scary like that, big bro," Goten remarked.
Gohan laughed a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, I was a bit… angry back then."
"Where did you get it from?" Chichi said, not noticing some pointed glances.
Gohan (calmed down): Oh? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!
Piccolo: No, stay snapped! STAY SNAPPED—
Nappa recovers from the attack.
Piccolo: Augggh, goddamn it...
"Well there goes Gohan's Berserker Mode," Whis said.
Nappa (growls): You-a-making-me-so-mad!
The bald Saiyan begins charging up a powerful blast while Gohan stands still, completely paralyzed in fear.
"Wait, why aren't you moving?" Goku asked.
"I was kinda… distracted a bit," Gohan said.
Nappa: Vegeta, look, "Imma firing my-"
His face turns into Shoop the Whoop
Nappa:BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
"Gross!" Android 18 said. "What the hell is that?"
Gohan still does not try and dodge the blast and stands still, paralyzed with fear.
"Ugh, I really do need to work on dodging…" Gohan sighed.
"Oh, you're fine, honey," Videl assured her husband.
Piccolo (thinking while running towards Gohan): Alright, it's time to redeem myself- through one final act of redemption.
Piccolo appears in front of Gohan to protect him from Nappa's attack.
Piccolo (thinking): I'll save Gohan and- Wait a second, why didn't I just grab him? I can probably still do that now, actually! Yeah, that's it, I'll grab him and throw him out of the way—
He gets hit by Nappa's blast.
"Seems like I need to work on dodging myself," Piccolo joked.
Piccolo: GAAAAAAAAAAH!
A giant explosion occurs, which causes a giant shockwave.
"Seriously, how do people not remember that lightshow?" Bulma questioned. "I thought we only used the Dragon Balls to erase the memories of the Bu incident."
"Same reason why people believed me about me beating Cell," Mr. Satan shrugged. "You guys fight way in the wastelands. Good for not many civilian casualties, bad for being noticed."
Krillin:WAAHAA!
The smoke clears, revealing that Piccolo is still alive, but mortally wounded.
Piccolo: Yeah, that's right, I can take anything you can dish o- (in his thoughts)oh, God, there go my organs.
The Namekian falls to the ground.
Gohan: Mr. Piccolo!
Piccolo (weakly): Unh... Gohan...come closer... There's...something...I have to tell you...
Gohan: Is it that you always pictured me as a son, because you can never make your own- considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring?
"Okay, first, I can produce offspring," Piccolo said, giving Gohan a look. "I can make eggs, remember? I just choose not to. Second, of course I see you as a son."
Gohan and Piccolo share a hug. Chichi and Goku giggle.
"I can't believe we never made Piccolo Gohan's godfather," Goku smiled.
"He was your archenemy," Chichi reminded him. "Well your archenemy at that time."
Abridged Piccolo (weakly) along with Goten and Trunks: Neeeeerrrrrrd.
Gohan: Wh-what?
Piccolo: Just...shut up and...listen.
Gohan: What is it, Mr. Piccolo?
Piccolo (weakly): Why...didn't...you...
"Say it with us, everyone!" Trunks said.
Abridged Piccolo, Trunks, Goten, Marron, Goku and Yamcha (at the top of his lungs):DOOOOOOOODGE?! Bleh.
He dies.
Gohan:NOOOOOO!
His scream continues to echo, eventually being heard at Kami's Lookout.
Kami: Ugh! Well Mr. Popo, it seems my time has come. But don't worry, my friend, you can go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls. It will be a long and arduous journey, but I'm sure you can-
Mr. Popo: Bitch, I ain't going nowhere.
Mr. Popo frowned while feeling some part of him deep down laughing. He also smelled pot for some reason.
Kami: But Mr. Popo, the fate of the entire universe is-
Mr. Popo: Pecking order!
"Isn't Kami pretty high on Mr. Popo's pecking order?" Yamcha said.
"Bi-" Mr. Popo stopped himself, holding his arms on his mouth. He had a look of shock and fear. Shaking it off, he just smiled, pretending everything is fine.
Kami: But... I... Well then... goodbye, my friend.
He fades away following the death of Piccolo.
The Z-Fighters familiar with Kami held their heads in respect.
Mr. Popo (zooms in to his eyes): Byyyye.
The scene shifts back to the battlefield, with Krillin helplessly watching Gohan mourn over Piccolo's death.
Nappa: Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?
Vegeta (reading a magazine): Yes, Nappa, that was a very good kick.
"Where'd you get the magazine?" Bulma asked.
"Knowing the humor of this show, probably something like Space-mart," Vegeta rolled his eyes.
Nappa: Daww, Vegeta! You weren't watching! Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?
Vegeta: Ugh, fine!
He throws the magazine at the ground.
Gohan:GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!
"Gross, Gohan!"
"I would never say something like that!"
Nappa (short pause): What?
Gohan:I'M GONNA SKULLF*CK YOU! MASENKOOO-HAAAAA!
"I wouldn't ever say that either!" Gohan complained. "I know my temper is scary but I'm never that bad."
Gohan fires a Masenko at Nappa.
Nappa:AAAAAH!
Nappa deflects Gohan's blast into a plateau.
Nappa (while holding his hand, which is numb): Arrrrrgh. Bitch Please!
Gohan: I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo. I-I failed you...
Krillin: You sure did! I uh... I mean...sorry for your loss.
"Didn't you fail us first?" Gohan said. "With the not using the Destructo Disc?"
Nappa: Well, it's been fun, kid-I mean, for me, not for you. As for you, everyone important to you is dead.
Krillin: Hey, I'm still alive-
Nappa: Everyone important!
Krillin (sadly): Dammit.
Krillin flinched, then realized the Krillin Owned counter didn't go off.
'That's weird,' Krillin thought. 'That was a decent burn.'
Nappa (raises his foot): Now, Nappa Smash!
Gohan and Krillin both close their eyes, preparing for the worst, but Gohan is suddenly moved out of the way before Nappa can crush him with his foot.
Nappa: Oo-wa-waa? Hey! Where'd he go! Did he disappear, or was he never there to begin with?
Dramatic music and screen zooms in on Nappa's face.
"What?" Goku asked.
"Does he think this is some sort of weird sci-fi show?" Vegeta asked.
Gohan is shown to be on top of Flying Nimbus.
Nappa: Oh wait, there he is.
Gohan: Huh?
Goku lands, finally arriving at scene of the battle.
Goku: Hey, guys! What'd I miss? I-
He notices everyone's corpses.
Goku sweatdropped. "Yeah, I'm a bit late."
"You really need to work on your timing," Chichi noted.
Goku: Oh, are they all... Tenshinhan... Piccolo...? Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha...
Goku notices Chiatzu body is nowhere to bee seen.
Goku: Wait, where's Chiaotzu?
Krillin: Oh, he's here...and there...and there...and—
Tien smacks Krillin on the back of the head.
"Hey!" Krillin said. "Okay, I deserved that."
Gohan: Krillin!
Krillin: What?
Gohan: Too soon!
Goku: I'm sorry I'm late, you guys. But I brought some Senzu Beans for you!
Krillin: Woohoo! Thank you, Ex Machina.
Goku (to Vegeta and Nappa): Hey! Which one of you did all this?
Nappa: That was me, totally calling it.
Goku is shaking in rage over the loss of his friends.
"Why didn't you go Super Saiyan over us," Yamcha teased.
Nappa: I killed every single one of them- except for Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!
Goku continues to shake in anger and begins to power up.
Goku (powering up): HHHHAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
Nappa: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?
Vegeta (Takes off his scouter): It's...one thousand and six.
"Wait what?" Vegeta said. "That's not right."
"Do we even read exact power levels now?" Trunks asked.
"I have the tech for it," Bulma said. "But all we really need now is to know if a power level is stronger or not than us, so your sensing is all you need."
Nappa: Wha- really?
Vegeta: Yeah, kick his ass, Nappa!
He turns off his scouter.
Nappa: YAY!
He charges into battle with Goku and gets beaten to pulp while Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin watch, completely shocked at Goku's beatdown.
"He made it look so easy," Yamcha sighed.
"That makes our efforts look really bad," Tien agreed.
Nappa (while getting pummeled by Goku): OOOWWW! Ow ow ow ow! Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!
Vegeta: Hm, that doesn't seem right...
Nappa (faintly in background): My arm doesn't bend that way! My arm doesn't bend that way!
Loud crunching sound is heard.
Nappa: Oh, now it does!
Vegeta: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Nappa!
Nappa gets knocked over next to Vegeta.
Nappa (in pain): WHAAAAAT?!
Vegeta: I had the Scouter upside down.
Once again takes off his scouter.
Vegeta: It's over nine thousand.
"That's weird," Vegeta said. "I can't remember if I said 8000 or 9000?"
"I can't remember either," Goku thought out loud.
He calmly crushes scouter. Rah.
Nappa: Why do you sound so bored?!
Vegeta: Because, it's still not a threat.
Nappa: But-
Vegeta: To me. Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls, we'll just wish for immortality! Then no one will be able to stop us.
Goku: Wait, what? But you killed Piccolo.
"Here it comes," Vegeta said, almost excited.
Vegeta: And your point is...?
Goku: Well, if he's dead, the Dragon Balls don't work.
Vegeta: Wh... what?
"Ooo! Dad does not look happy."
Nappa: Oh, and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vegeta?
Vegeta growls in anger.
Nappa: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet?
Vegeta continues growling in anger.
Nappa: Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege—
The scene cuts to Nappa getting killed by Vegeta.
Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAGH!
The Saiyan gets obliterated in an explosion as Vegeta is last seen staring at the sky and giving an evil smirk.
"Oh thank god!" Frieza sighed.
"That was honestly a boon," Beerus smiled. "Well done, Vegeta."
Vegeta ignored it while smiling from the kill.
Cue Ending sequence.
"Hmm…" Bulma thinks. "Normally I'd be mad at you killing but this is strangely okay. How about I give you some of your favorite foods?"
"Ramen please," Vegeta smiled.
"OOO! Me too!" Multiple voices shouted happily.
"I'm sorry, but what is ramen?" Frieza demands.
And done. Again, sorry for the late update. I'll try to update stuff as soon as I can. But as to not waste more time, we'll wrap things up now. Hope you liked the chapter and I hope you Favorite, Follow, and Comment!