"Teaching is more than imparting knowledge; it is inspiring change. Learning is more than absorbing facts; it is acquiring understanding." —William Arthur Ward

/

"Learn restraint, or risk destroying yourself and everything you love."

Aang winces, looking down at his clasped hands. He's nervous and I'm not helping. I inwardly berate myself. But he needs to understand. To lose control could be the loss of everything. I had to learn this the hard and deeply painful way. I want to save Aang from that horror.

This morning Katara is leaning against the pillar Toph had occupied yesterday, scowling and eagle-eyeing my every move. I ignore her as best I can.

I retrieve a fallen leaf, igniting its center so it's smoldering and smoking slightly. "Concentrate on the fire." I hand the leaf to Aang. "Keep the flame from reaching the edges."

There's panic in Aang's eyes as the smoldering leaf quickly burns towards the edges. He tosses the leaf away before it can burn him. "I can't!" he cries, folding his knees to his chest.

Katara has stepped forward like she's tempted to intervene. I pray she doesn't. I don't need another shouting match about my incompetence.

"This is how I lost control when Jeong Jeong was teaching me!" Aang is close to hyperventilating. "This is how I burned Katara!"

I catch Katara flinching out of the corner of my eye.

Shit! I wish I'd known this! I would have started with something else that wasn't already traumatic!

"Hey!" I lean forward on my knees so I can place my hands on his shoulders. "You can do this. You need to believe in yourself otherwise this is never going to work."

Aang is looking anywhere but at my face. "What if I can't?"

"You can," I say firmly, leaning back to fetch another leaf. I ignite the center again, holding it out to Aang. "You're not alone."

Aang looks up at me sharply, surprise and gratitude written plainly across his face. His hands tremble when he takes the leaf.

"Concentrate on your breathing." I sit fully back now, the leaf already half gone. "I'm here. Katara's here."

Katara starts at the sound of her name.

The leaf is almost gone.

Aang is so tense his shoulders have almost risen to meet his ears. He yelps as the leaf turns to ash in his hands. He jumps to his feet, shaking out his hands.

Katara rushes forward. "Are you alright?" she cries. "Were you burned?" She shoots me an accusatory look.

"No." Aang stares, mystified, at his fingers. "I'm not."

"See." I smile with a flash of teeth at Katara. Then, with an inward shake to snap out of my old self, I turn to Aang "You're not alone."

"I'm okay," he says to Katara.

She humphs in disbelief but backs up to her pillar once more.

Aang resumes his cross-legged position on the stones. "I'm ready to try again."

"Are you sure?"

He nods resolutely and I have to hide a smile.

I pluck another leaf from the ground, a soft hiss escaping as I ignite it. "Remember, I say as I hand him the leaf once more. "You can not force the fire. You can't even truly control it, but you are its guide."

Aang's face is screwed up in concentration.

"Breathe. In through your nose. Out through the mouth."

This time, Aang manages a full minute before the leaf is gone.

"Ugh!" he groans, flopping dramatically onto his back. I can't do it!"

"What do you mean?" I pick up another leaf. "You did it for a whole minute."

Aang's head pops up. "That was a success?"

I grin, handing him the leaf as he sits up. Let's see how long you can keep the flame from reaching the edge this time."

/

It takes all day, and many charred leaves later, until Aang is able to keep the fire from reaching the edge of the leaf for several hours on end.

Like I said, he's a talented kid.

When the last leaf finally burns, Aang flops onto his back with a mighty groan. "I'm exhausted! Is my entire body supposed to hurt?"

I chuckle, getting painfully to my feet and offering him a hand up. "Congratulations Aang."

Aang takes my hand with a puzzled look. "What?"

I pull him up with a grunt, a twinge of pain racing through my side.

"You've mastered discipline, learned control. I'd say it's time to move on to some firebending forms."

Aang's entire face lights up and he's hugging me before I know what's happening. I bite my tongue to muffle a cry of pain, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Aang suddenly releases me, bounding over to Katara who has been silently watching this entire time.

"Can you believe it?!" Aang is gushing. "I'm actually learning to firebend!"

Sometimes I forget that Aang is just a kid.

"Congratulations," Katara says halfheartedly. "I bet you're hungry."

"Starving!"

That manages to get a laugh out of Katara. "I'm sure Sokka's cooked up something. Let's get Zuko back to his room and then we can go bug Sokka about dinner."

Aang's face falls. "Can't Zuko eat with us?"

Katara's face hardens. "No."

Aang's about to protest when I interrupt. "It's okay, Aang. I'm not really hungry anyways." And I'm not really. The pain has made me too nauseous to contemplate food.

I turn my back on the two before either can say anything and start walking towards my room. The bed sounds awfully good right now. Teaching is exhausting! But I find that I love it. I love seeing the connections Aang makes when he finally figures something out. My entire being warms when he lights up after a success. That, more than anything, tells me I'm where I'm meant to be.

Aang's euphoric mood has vanished by the time we make it to my room.

"I don't want to."

"Aang."

"It's not right."

"It's how it has to be."

Aang's face has turned livid.

"Aang!" I interrupt. "Just seal the door okay. It's alright."

"I—"

"Do it!" I snap, letting some of my old anger out.

He stumbles a step back and I feel immediately guilty at the hurt look he gives me. But it gets the job done. He hesitantly raises the wall up to block the doorway.

I collapse onto the bed, feeling absolutely miserable. My good mood from earlier has completely evaporated. How am I going to teach Aang to find his drive when I can't even find mine?

Author's Note

This is the second time I've referred to Sokka making dinner instead of Katara. Messing with gender norms is a staple in most of what I write.

I also thought that Aang should have a chance to face his trauma over burning Katara when he was learning with Jeong Jeong.