Hi, everyone! I'm finally freaking back! God it feels so good! So sorry for this long long hiatus but I have legitimate reasons. Recently, I got into some legal trouble and this literally happened during the final days of my winter semester a week before exam week. I can't really explain the details on what happened, just that I was investigated and found innocent. Unfortunately, this event caused a real strain on my school work, which opened a whole other bag of worms, especially since this was my graduation year. But finally my hard work has paid off and this innocent newly college graduate is ready to get back to fanfic writing. I'm not going to be responding to comments since I've been gone for so long, it's going to be a bit too much and I know you all want to just start.
Just a reminder, I own nothing and just respect the original owners/creators.
Goku teleported back with his instant transmission, on his back was a comically large amount of ingredients, cooking tools, and other food. "I'm back!"
"The hell were you?" Beerus growled.
Bulma gave him a stink eye. "You took forever! You should have gotten back ages ago!"
Goku gives them a confused look. "There was a lot of food and I knew you guys would want a lot. Plus, Chichi might want to try cooking so I had to get the ingredients too! And Chichi's cooking stuff!"
"We do have multiple Saiyans and other heavy eaters," Chichi sighed. "Lay off him. I think this was actually the smart decision."
"I suppose that's fair," Whis nodded. The food begins to leviate. "Let's just divide the goodies and begin eating and watching the next season."
"This is my debut season if I recall correctly?" Frieza asked.
Krillin slumps. "Oh yeah, and where you-"
"Slaughtered the Namekians and you only for that buffoon to ruin it all?" Frieza scowled. "Yes."
The disclaimer plays.
Kaiserneko: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
The scene starts at Wukong Hospital where Goku is seen in bandages from his battle with Vegeta.
"All this time and none of you even tried learning some powerful healing techniques?" Beerus wondered.
"Well most of us were dead, so I think we have a pass," Yamcha said.
"You're not dead now," Beerus pointed out. "How about it?"
Yamcha looks away nervously. "I'll shut up now."
"Yamcha Owned Counter: 1," Krillin whispers.
"Krillin!"
"Hey, I can't be the only one who gets this!"
Master Roshi: Hey there, Goku. How goes the recovery?
Goku: Well, the doctors say I should be in here for a couple of months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage.
Vegeta facepalmed. "Why doesn't this surprise me anymore?"
Frieza looked like he had an aneurysm. "Why does this make so much sense?"
Beerus shivered. "It frightens me that he's now friends with Grand Zeno. It's like the worst ticking time bomb of the multiverse!"
Goku: Oh, hey Master Roshi. When did you get here?
"Okay, this is definitely concerning," Chi-Chi said.
"Don't worry, Chi-Chi, it's just a comedic phase," Bulma assured her. "I think…."
Dr. Fieldgood: Mister... San Gaaku?
"Not even close," Trunks giggled.
Dr. Fieldgood: You have another visitor to see you.
Goku: What? But all my friends are already here.
Those who were dead at the time give Goku a look.
"Excuse you?" Piccolo said.
"Hey, you were an enemy at the time! Kinda." Goku said.
"And what are we?" Tien asked. "Chopped liver?"
"You were dead, it doesn't count!"
King Kai had an outraged look. "And me?!"
"You never leave your planet."
"No excuse!"
Mr. Popo (appears outside a window, seemingly flying. He's actually standing on his magic carpet): Not all of them.
Goku: Uh... uh... uh...
Regular Goku suddenly got a chill at the back of his neck.
Gohan gives his dad a look. "You alright, Dad?"
Goku shook his head. "I'm fine, Gohan."
Goku begins having flashbacks, one of kid Goku arriving at Kami's Lookout.
"Hey, it's little me!" Goku laughed.
"Aw, I kinda wished we could see this you again," Bulma cooed. "You were so cute like that!"
"Wow, Dad, you were small for your age!" Goten laughed.
"He looks exactly like you," Trunks smirked, "only taller."
"Hey, I'm taller than him!"
Kid Goku: Yay! I made it to the top! Now I can train with Kami, the strongest, most powerful being on the...
The child notices Mr. Popo sitting on his carpet on the lookout, feeding the birds.
Kid Goku: Hmm? Who's that?
Both Goku and Mr. Popo stare at each other, with the camera moving back-and-forth on their faces before going back to the present.
Mr. Popo frowned. "Is something wrong?"
"I think some joke is being made, Popo?" Roshi said.
Mr. Popo huffed. "How rude."
Goku (starts screaming): GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!
Everyone jumped from the sudden fear from the usual unflappable Saiyan.
"Hey, it wasn't like that!" Goku frowned. "I was just in pain from all those injuries!"
"That's not how it looks like," Vegeta said.
He beings screams like a madman.
Goku: OH, GOD! OH, GOD!
The injured Saiyan continues to scream while the nurses try and hold him down.
Nurse 1: Hold him down!
Nurse 2: Careful, he's injured!
"That's the only reason why you can hold him down," Chiaotzu said.
The opening sequence shows.
Dr. Fieldgood: Well, we've finally been able to sedate him. Took us a while; we had to go through some alternative treatment.
"Do sedatives not work on Saiyans?" Mr. Satan asked.
"It's more a ki thing," Roshi explained. "If you flush it through your system, it can help your vitality and fight the drugs a bit. Using poison can also be a training method to try to develop resistance but not really a good method."
Master Roshi: Oh, really? What did you use?
Dr. Fieldgood: Something I found under the sink. I think it was... Clorox or something.
"T-that's not a sedative!" Chi-Chi shouted.
The scene cuts to Goku, who is foaming at the mouth.
Frieza tried to hold it in, but then he burst out laughing.
Goku gargles, choking a bit on the growing foam in his mouth.
Frieza laughed so much he fell to the floor. "O-oh this is priceless!"
Dr. Fieldgood: Well, page me if you need me.
"I think it would have been better if you didn't come back," Gohan said coldly.
Mr. Popo: Byyyye.
"And Popo just doesn't care," Dende said.
Master Roshi: Oh, you're still here. Who are you anyway?
"Neither do I, apparently," Roshi sweatdropped.
"It's probably nice to have some silence," Whis offered.
Korin: That's Mister Popo. He lives up on the lookout with Kami.
Master Roshi (looks at Korin): Did that cat just talk?
"Hey, Korin's one of my best friends," Roshi protested. "He trained me! Why wouldn't I know him?"
"I don't know," Frieza said annoyed, "maybe this you has finally gone senile?"
Mr. Popo: Alright. Everyone listen up if you want to get those other useless maggots back.
Beerus: Out of curiosity, do those "useless maggots" do anything useful? Take down any enemies that aren't basic minions?
Krillin: You mean, you can get our friends back?
The sky suddenly turns red.
"The hell?!"
"Since when could he do that?"
Mr. Popo: Shut up, maggot!
Krillin looks like he nearly shit his pants.
Krillin: Yes, sir!
The sky returns to its natural blue color as Popo calms down.
"Word to the wise, never mess with Popo."
"The Krillin owned counter really should have gone up, because Popo just whipped his ass."
"Shut up, Yamcha!"
Mr. Popo: As I was saying, the only hope to get your friends back is to use the Dragon Balls on Kami's home planet: Namek.
Bulma: Namek? That's not a planet I've ever heard of.
Mr. Popo: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn't know any better. What are the odds?
"Excuse me?!" Bulma glared, even though she felt a strangely chilling presence behind her. Though she knew for a certain no one was there.
Krillin: To be fair, Mr. Popo, until recently, I've never heard of that planet either.
Mr. Popo: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn't know any better.
Krillin: A- ga- god... dammit, I walked right into that one...
"Where's the owned counter! That should definitely count!"
"Yamcha, I swear, I'm gonna-"
Mr. Popo: Anyway, I'm the only one who knows where Kami's old ship is. And the only one with the transportation to get you there, and this is a carpet made for two.
"I'm pretty sure that carpet should be able to hold another, at least Gohan and/or Korin holding tight," Bulma said.
Bulma: Well, I think the only way to fairly decide on this is to have a democratic vote-
Krillin: Bulma.
Master Roshi: Bulma.
Korin: Bulma.
Gohan: Bulma.
Yajirobe: Bulma.
Ox King: Yoooohooo. Bulma.
Goku, as if on cue, gives a gargling sound.
"And you guys suck," Bulma said.
Bulma looked desperate, trying to avoid being alone with the genuinely scary Abridged Popo.
Bulma: Okay, um... uh... Oh, ha!
The richest woman on Earth takes out a remote with a relieved expression.
Bulma had a look of dread as she remembered what happened.
Bulma: We don't need your help! I've got right here a remote control to one of the crashed Saiyan ships. All I have to do is put in these coordinates and...
She proceeds to push some buttons on the remote, promptly causing the Saiyan pod to explode, startling a reporter.
"W-why did you press the self-destruct sequence?" Vegeta asked.
"It was an accident! I couldn't read the alien languages!" Bulma shouted.
"Then why play with it!?"
TV Reporter: YEEEEEEE—
The TV shows an off-air color bars screen along with a beeping sound.
Deep Voice: Critical failure!
Mr. Popo: Well, well, well. Look who just ran out of options.
"Guess I kinda walked right into that one," Bulma grumbled.
Master Roshi: Dammit, Bulma. Stop being such a scaredy-cat and get on the carpet with the scary genie.
Bulma: I swear to God, if anything happens to me while I'm gone, I'm kicking Krillin's ass!
"Why my ass?"
"Because Goku's hospitalized, Gohan's a kid, and the others were dead."
"I was injured too! Do Roshi or Korin!"
"Don't bring me into this!"
Bulma moves to climb on to Mr. Popo's carpet.
Mr. Popo: Oh, you and I are going to get along just fine.
His carpet then seemed to teleport, moving at incredible speeds and taking Bulma and Mr. Popo away. The two seemed to have teleported. They were now in the highlands of Yunzabit with Mr. Popo and Bulma appearing on Mr. Popo flying carpet.
Mr. Popo: Alright, here we are. Yunzabit Heights.
Bulma: Wait a sec... how did we make it here so fast? This is the other side of the planet!
"It goes that fast?" Goten stared in awe. "Can me and Trunks use it?"
"Trunks and I," Chi-Chi corrected, but was ignored.
"Yeah, can we?" Trunk asked excitedly. "We can go traveling around the world!"
"Oh no," Bulma said. "You boys are not doing that lone. And you heard Popo, that carpet only transports two!"
Mr. Popo coughed. "Actually-"
Chi-Chi moves to cover his mouth with her hand.
"Listen to Bulma, boys!"
Mr. Popo: Yep, this carpet gets about ten thousand miles to the soul.
"Wait what?"
"Just a joke, probably."
"Probably?!"
"Just ignore it."
Bulma: What?
Mr. Popo: The gallon.
Bulma: But... if you can make it to the other side of the planet so fast, why didn't you help Goku get to the Saiyans when he arrived on Earth?
The group is silent as they pondered this.
"Popo," Tien gave the genie a look. "That's a good question. Why didn't you?"
Mr. Popo sweatdropped as he looked at them nervously. "No one asked?"
Mr. Popo: I was preoccupied.
He has a flashback of Goku at Kami's Lookout before the final battle and right after Goku was resurrected.
Goku: Mister Popo! I need your carpet to get to my friends as quickly as possible!
Mr. Popo doesn't even come on screen.
Mr. Popo: Makin' toast!
Whis and Beerus nodded in understanding and respect.
"Perfectly understandable! You can't interfere with someone's snack time!"
"That is not a legitimate reason!" Bulma protested.
Goku: Aw, fine! Nimbus!
He then flies away on Flying Nimbus.
"You can fly!" Vegeta shouted exasperated.
An off-screen as a "Ding!" sound can be heard.
Mr. Popo: Butterin' toast!
Back in present, Mr. Popo and Bulma arrive at Kami's ship, an old Namekian spacecraft.
Mr. Popo: Here it is: Kami's ship.
Bulma: It's old and covered in moss!
Mr. Popo: I know. Fits, doesn't it?
Piccolo gave a hard look. "I know Kami's not here anymore but as the person who fused with him, I feel I should speak for him. That was rude."
Mr. Popo: Now, get in.
Bulma: But, how do we-?
Mr. Popo: Popo!
The floor of the ship suddenly drops down.
"That's certainly… convenient," Yamcha said.
Bulma: Oh, wow! Your name opens the ship?
Mr. Popo: Popo!
Both he and Bulma are lifted up inside.
"And it apparently does more," Tien said.
Bulma: And it closes it, too.
Mr. Popo: POPO!
Instantly, the ship quickly flies into outer space, stopping right in front of Jupiter.
"It does everything," Android 18 said.
Bulma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Mr. Popo: No. It just knows better.
"Ha! That sounds interesting!" Beerus grinned. "Things just happening just because you say your own name. Beerus!"
Whis comes with another plate of mini-quiches. "Here you are, my lord."
Mr. Popo: Welcome to Jupiter.
Bulma sighed. "I should really study more spacecrafts. With how advanced these are, it can really help Capsule Corp even more!"
"Especially since Beerus destroyed your time machines!" Trunks said, which made Bulma groan at the memory of her lost ultimate invention.
Bulma: My God, we're so far into space! In such a short amount of time! This is wonderful, Mr. Popo! We can finally save our friends! This is terrific! This is-
Mr. Popo: POOOOPOOOOOO!
The ships quickly flies back towards Earth at top speed.
Bulma: AAAAAAAAHHH!
The scene cuts to Wukong Hospital.
Bulma: And we went to Jupiter in just a couple of seconds! We'll be at Namek in no time! And even better, Popo could be our pilot!
"Wow, you're really excited, Bulma!" Goku smiled.
"We're bringing back our friends," Bulma beamed. "Of course I would have been happy."
Krillin: Oh, dear God!
Mr. Popo: No.
"Wait, why didn't Popo go originally?" Dende asked.
"Someone had to look after the Lookout," Popo explained.
Krillin: Oh, thank God!
Bulma: But... Why aren't you-
Mr. Popo: If I was going to do it myself, why would I need you?
"Again, he gives a legitimate point," Beerus nodded in agreement to the genie's actions.
The scene goes to a startled Bulma.
Mr. Popo: See you when you get back... except... this season... you.
"Oh god, he knows I died! Why me! He saw us off before we went to fight the Saiyans and they didn't get looks like this!"
His voice had gone ominous and the camera slowly zooms in on Krillin's face.
Krillin: Heh... Whaddya think he means by that? Heh.
Chi-Chi: Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere.
"Oh no," Gohan said, already figuring out what's going to happen.
Gohan: Actually... Mom, I'm going to Namek.
Chi-Chi (her voice was sounding strained): As... I... said... my little boy...
"Um… Gohan, that's the sound of her voice when she gets really really scary?" Goku said.
She is now visibly angry
Chi-Chi: Isn't going anywhere!
"There it is!" Goten and Goku shouted in fear.
Gohan: But Mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility!
Chi-Chi: Gohan, I am your mother! And as your mother, you will listen to me, and you will do as I say!
"A bit too strict but I get where she's coming from," Android 18 said.
Gohan: But that's not-
Chi-Chi: Did you carry around a baby in you for nine months, with a man who literally thought you had Cinna-Buns hidden in your shirt?!
"Wait, you didn't have Cinna-Buns?!" Goku asked shocked.
Chi-Chi bangs her head to a nearby wall.
Gohan: But I-
Chi-Chi: Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL-
Gohan: SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!
Everyone gasped and then looked at the two. Gohan looked a tad bit uncomfortable and Chi-Chi was frowning.
"Mom," Gohan said, "I'm sorry if-"
"Don't worry about it, Gohan," Chi-Chi sighed, giving him a soft look. "It's in the past."
An awkward silence echoed for the next few seconds.
Gohan (calmly): I'll be going to Namek, now.
Chi-Chi turns, walking out the door, surprisingly calm.
"I've never heard her sound this calm before after being in an argument!" Goku said, shivering in fear. He could tell all the rage was still in her, just ready to burst. It was as scary as it was attractive.
Chi-Chi: You'd best.
She slams the door behind her.
Bulma: Well, uh... better get started on that ship!
Gohan: Please hurry...
"You don't know when Mount Chi-Chi will erupt," Yamcha joked and immediately regrets after Chi-Chi gives him a death glare.
The scene cuts to Bulma and Dr. Briefs working on the Kami's ship.
Narrator: With that, Bulma got to work on the ship to prepare it for their travel.
Bulma: Hey, Dad. How are things coming along?
Dr. Briefs: Well, I'm working on your translator, but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don't understand.
"Wait, why is the toilet speaking?" Goten asked.
"Better question, why is it there at all?" Trunks asked. "I thought Namekians don't need to poop."
Dende had a grossed-out look. "We usually don't need to eat, it's more of a treat, but we can. But we do need toilets since what we do need is water.
Toilet: Toire de arimasu!
"What did it say?" Goku asked.
"There is a restroom," Bulma translated.
Dr. Briefs: Damn moonspeak!
"What's moonspeak?"
"Nothing. Just nothing."
The scene cuts to Kame House, where Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi are seen in front of Kami's spaceship.
Narrator: And in ten days, the remaining warriors were recovered and ready to set out to Namek.
Krillin: So, you sure this thing's ready to fly?
Bulma: Yep! I've gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing... We couldn't fix the translator for the toilet.
Toilet: Ich bin gefüllt mit pisswasser!
"What about this?" Goku asked.
"I'm not translating that," Bulma deadpanned.
"Trunks, can you try?" Goten asked.
Trunks thinks about it and giggles. "I think it means 'I am filled with pee!'"
The two boys and Marron laugh at the silly line.
Master Roshi: (notices a twinkle in the sky) Hey, I think I see their car.
Chi-Chi, Ox-King, and Gohan arrive at Kame House, Gohan having a very noticeable bowl haircut.
Goten and the kids chuckled before laughing on the ground. "A-and I thought big bro's great Saiyaman's costume was lame!"
"Compared to that hair, it's actually cool!"
Gohan groaned while Videl giggled at the bowl cut. "I completely blocked that haircut out. Now it's back."
Krillin: Hey Gohan, how are yo...
He notices a blushing Gohan with a bowl haircut.
Krillin: ...OH, MY GOD! What happened to your head? You look like a young Moe Howard.
"Oh, the Three Stooges! I loved them!" Bulma smiled.
"Their stuff were the best!" Chi-Chi agreed.
Gohan: Well look who's talking, Curly!
Krillin: Why, I oughta...!
"So who's Larry?"
Bulma (angrily): Clam it, chowderheads, we gotta get going!
"Yeah, not me. I'm more a Moe, but Gohan's got that covered."
Gohan: Bye everybody!
Chi-Chi: Now Gohan, don't make any friends with any questionable strangers! That includes you, Krillin!
"How am I a stranger?" Krillin asked. "I've been Goku's best friend for years and years!"
Krillin: So Bulma, where do I put my stuff?
Bulma (angrily): Sit down, strap in, and shut up!
"Hey, it's a legitimate question! Why so angry?"
Krillin: Uh, alright. So Gohan, how much stuff did you bring?
Gohan: Well, Mom packed my bags, so there's a lot in there.
"It's always good to be prepared, Gohan," Chi-Chi huffed.
Gohan whispered to Goten, "Be careful when it comes to anymore sleepovers. She might stuff half the house in your bags."
Krillin: Well, you know what they say, "Always be prepared."
Bulma: Popo.
The spaceship quickly blasts off into outer space.
KRILLIN and GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
The ending sequence quickly plays and then the stinger begins.
The scene starts at Wukong Hospital with Goku still gargling with foam in his mouth.
Goku: (while gurgling) Bacon...
"Okay, that's still concerning," Chi-Chi said.
"That was a great start!" Trunks said. "Not really enough action but pretty funny!"
"Super funny," Goten agreed.
"Put in the next one!" both of them shouted.
"Okay, okay!" Bulma said. "Honestly, you all are insatiable."
And done! I'll do my best to write the next chapter and the other fanfic ideas I've had since I had to go on my hiatus. Wish me luck. Since I no longer have all that crap I've been going through this past year, I'm much more free than I've ever been! Hope you all enjoy my content!
Also, I'm planning on adding some new people to the watch party. Pick which Dragon Ball character I should choose. Please note, Future Trunks and Mai aren't coming until later. Add your pick in the comments and I'll make a poll of my favs.
And with that, I hope you all enjoy. See ya!