Chapter 1- The Spoon That Started It All
BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP DUN DUN DUN DU*
"SHUT UP!" A voice yelled as an alarm clock slammed against the wall.
CRASH*
Jolting awake I looked around sleepily, quickly scanning my apartment. It didn't take me long to notice a pile of electrical scraps lying near my clothes dresser.
"Dammit that's like the third one this month, well it's six a.m I'd better start getting ready anyway," I said with an exhausted sigh as it was yet again my time to join the hamster wheel we call society.
I took a quick shower and soon dressed in a plain black T-shirt and jeans before I sat down for a hearty breakfast.
"Damn, I almost forgot my badge again." Leaving my cereal for now, I returned to pick up my badge off the counter.
Elijah Conners,21 years old, six foot tall, about two hundred and ten pounds. Shoulder-length shaggy blonde hair separated down the middle, punctuated by hazel green eyes.
After grabbing my ID badge I returned to my quickly decomposing cinnamon toast brunch, until yet another dilemma halted my morning routine.
"God damn motherfucking spoon!" I said in blatant outrage at my half-cognizant self.
Heading over to the kitchen to grab the damn silverware I was again distracted by a notification from my phone. Quickly pulling it up. I actually got a smile for the first time today.
"Pokémon Scarlet and Violet confirmed for this year huh? Hopefully, I'll like it more than sword and shield. All these damn gimmicks Nintendo is coming up with are getting ridiculous" I said aloud as I took a quick peek at the 'leaked' starters. 'Water starter looks stupid… Mudkip and Squrtile will never be surpassed it seems'
'Like come on, mega evolution was sick as hell. It brought so many people back to the franchise that I guess the idiots thought it would be cool to have something new every year and take away what actually worked!'I thought in outrage over the mega evolution knockoffs.
'Like come on? Totem Pokémon that can't even be caught? The power ranger 'Z Moves'? Giganta Max or whatever the hell that dumb shit was called.
'Now don't get me wrong, the Galarian and Aloian forms of existing Pokémon? Awesome. Especially the legendary bird variants as well as the Alolan Raichu, my personal favorite variant along with the Ghost Typhlosion, but that's a legends variant'
'Sigh this why I play so many damn rom hacks and randomizers' Finishing my rant I came to a startling realization as I blitzed back to my cereal.
Or more accurately my 'mush'.
'I guess I'll just grab a donut on my way,' I thought to myself as I sat down with a sigh…..'Huh, that's odd. Usually, sitting down doesn't take this long.' Looking down in confusion, I would usually be brought to my knees at such a sight. Too bad I was currently falling through a godforsaken wormhole that was perfectly placed under my dining room chair.
"Ahhhhhhhhh" No matter if it was the God or the Devil himself I would deny any accusations of screaming like a schoolgirl as I fell into a literal abyss covered in stars.
"Damn what a messed up dream, not only do I have to get up for work twice but I gotta fall through a wormhole in between," I said aloud while my hand vigorously rubbed my eyeballs to hopefully speed up the forgetting the weird dream process.
sniff*
My eyes shoot open just as soon as the smell of pine hits my nostrils, why? There isn't a single pine tree for miles near my apartment.
"Dude if somebody signed me up for one of those survival shows I'm going to kill 'em." I said as I cautiously looked down, only to sigh in relief. 'Thank god it isn't one of the weird ones, still got my clothes'
'Oh yeah pockets!'
'…no phone….. no keys…. No wallet…. No chance in hell of this being a dream' the last thought punctuated by me smacking the hell out of myself.
However, there was one thing, a small round ball that I'd recognize anywhere.
"What kind of sick jok….."
"Ab Ab Abra," Something said as I could hear the bushes near me begin to rustle.
Like a horribly maintained machine, my neck slowly cranked gear by gear until I was face to face with a pointy-eared little yellow dude.
"Uhhhhh, hi" I said as I waved towards the creature.
"Ab Ab Braaa" it responded with a flourish. 'Did it just act like he was tipping his hat to me….'
Alright…. Option 1 intense hallucination caused by a coma
Option 2 worm….hole
Option 3….. fuck…..
Multiverse theory? Was that an ultra wormhole that connected our worlds? Is all media just a glimpse into the multiverse? Am I bat-shit insane? What world am I even in?
Anime? One of the games? The origin series?One of the Hacks?
'Damn it's getting hard to breath….' Just then the little yellow dude walked up and slugged me.
"Hey, what the hell?!" I yelled out in question until I realized I was on the brink of a stress-induced stroke. It didn't help much that the little dude backed away in obvious fear at my outburst. 'Didn't he just slug me though?'
"Hey, so I know you're smarter than your acting, being a psychic and all? Why haven't you teleported away yet?" I asked him seriously, obviously knowing their go-to move at any sign of anti-social Pokémon.
"Abra!" He used one of his little stubby fingers to point at my left hand. It wasn't until then that I noticed I had actually brought something else with me across the dimensions.
"No wonder he came up to me." I accidentally said aloud as I noticed I still had that spoon in a death grip.
"You want this?" I asked curiously though a small smirk played on my lips.
"Abra!" He confirmed quickly.
"That's perfect. How about a deal, then? I give you this mystical spoon from a universe that shall never be named… and in return, you will be my starter. Thems the terms, take it or leave it," I said with an uninterested shrug as I held up a quick ball.
Though I may not have sounded very desperate, that was probably the furthest from the truth. I'm in the woods, no landmarks in sight and the only thing that seems worth anything is a spoon that I'm currently holding in a death grip.
I was severely down bad…
"Ab ab Abra!" Abra shook his head resolutely like this was expected his whole life. Though he had no idea he was being scammed in broad daylight.
"No way that worked!" I thought aloud before I slammed my mouth shut.
"You heard nothing, here just tap the button….. I think?" Without further prompting, he touched his nub against the trigger and three wiggles later a click was heard through the small clearing.
Abra was caught….
It was silent for a moment until the ball glowed purple and Abra freed himself from his confines. A yellow palm resting in front of my face, obviously waiting for me to complete my end of the bargain.
"Oh yeah, here. The ultimate spoon forged by my forefather's father's great…. I was going to use it to eat my cereal this morning little dude. You sure you want to make this deal" and there it was, the reason I could never make it at my uncle's used car lot. It was hard to keep bullshitting to an innocent face.
Though the little fox seemed to want to hear none of it as he grunted and made a motion to hand it over.
"Yeah sure….. here." And just as soon as the spoon touched his palm a flash bang went off right in front of me.
Once my sight returned I was face to face with a kneeling figure.
Coming up to my waist the creature's head tilts up as I notice a red star across its forehead as well as a long mustache.
"HELLO TRAINER, I'm glad that we are able to speak like this now!" a voice booms into my brain causing me to grab my head in pain.
"Apologies….. it is my first time conversing with a human through telepathy. It may need some practice." 'Kadabra' said with remorse.
"You think!?" I said with mild annoyance as the splitting headache was finally abating.
"So what was it like sire? Inter-dimensional travel I mean."
'Damn only here for 10 minutes and I've already been found out!'
"Stop calling me that and I have no clue what you're talking about, slightly bigger yellow dude." I said in complete denial.
"The hole that ripped through the fabric of the universe that you fell from, screaming at a rather high pitch I might add. You still have the bump on your head to prove it." Kadabra retorted. Pointing upwards at the slightly scuffed tree branch and to my now bruised forehead.
"Fine… it was scary as shit. Imagine falling into an abyss, sure the darkness is bad but the worst part is not knowing if it has an end or not" I said, slightly shaken as I answered the Pokemons question honestly.
"Very interesting… So what's the plan sire?" A voice in my mind broke me from my endlessly falling nightmare.
"I need sleep, we'll need food. The first thing though is we'll need a temporary base. An abandoned building, a cave, something similar. See anything in the area before you came looking for me?" I asked hopefully.
"There is an abandoned mine about 20 kilometers west most likely infested with rock Pokémon, a small cave about 10 kilometers northeast with a pair of Ursaring nesting there. Though I'd say our safest bet would be an abandoned research outpost five kilometers Northwest…" he rattled off.
"Sounds perfect, probably a few bunks for the researchers and maybe even some non-perishable food stored away." I agreed quickly as I began walking in the direction Kadabra began floating towards.
"Any idea what was being researched there?" I asked curiously.
"Not the slightest idea, I merely passed it by chance. I wasn't feeling very adventurous." Kadabra answered.
Hold on a minute….. I'm literally talking to the Pokémon line famous for teleporting.
"Kadabra? Wait before that how would you feel about a name? Feels kind of odd calling you by your species, I know I would feel pretty weirded out if you only called me human." I asked curiously, trying to build a more personal relationship with the only other person I've met in this world.
His large fox-like ears seemed to twitch in interest as he turned to me.
"I would not be opposed to it, as long as it's not something horrid." He said with what I could guess was a smile, but the way he worded it gave me an odd pause.
The last time I used a Kadabra in a Pokémon game was when I was fourteen. I used to name Pokémon the most outlandish things for a giggle, making them more memorable as a by-product.
"You seem like you have something ready, did you have another of my kind at some point? Would you tell me what you named him or her sire?" He asked seriously.
"That's a hard no. But in a sense, I guess you could say I've trained a Pokémon of your species before." I said as I tried to quickly change the topic. 'He shall never know of the glass cannon sweeper named 'crack spoon'.
What? I was a kid…. And it was just after I watched 'Pulp Fiction' for the first time.
(A/N: Amazing movie by the way, hilarious)
Alright back into the repressed memories folder with that….. Now a name…..
A yellow human-like Pokémon with fox features….. that is famous for teleporting and being a genius, well his evolution into Alakazam will be.
"How would you feel about Minato?" I asked curiously, sure it was maybe a corny choice but it definitely fit.
"Hmmmmm…A very traditional Kantonian name. My grandfather was from that region, so I'll take it with pride." Kadabra no 'Minato' agreed.
"So you even know of the different regions…. Where are we right now?" I asked as I began to see signs of trails instead of undisturbed forest.
"Johto, you see that giant mountain peeking out over the trees don't you?" Minato asked as he pointed towards a large mountain range to our west that dominated the landscape.
"Mt. Silver…. This means we're close to the border separating the two regions…. So somewhere between New Bark town and Blackthorn city." I said with difficulty at remembering the exact point the two regions connect to make the two maps one.
'Hopefully, this is the game version and Red has already taken Team Rocket out….. Now that's a basket of problems I don't even want to think about'
'Not even to mention all those theories about Johto oppressing Kanto, possibly being one of the main causes of Team Rocket's creation. Or if the Rockets even have a strong backing in this region compared to their strength in Kanto. Possible problems for later' finishing the thought I finally came upon a decently large building. About the size of an average school, about two stories and painted white?
Well if it wasn't for the large amount of moss and vines covering it, it might've been white at some point.
"Here's hoping it's not infested by some type of bug species….." I said with a mild shiver. 'I still don't know how I'll react to some of the ungodly creatures that inhabit this world… Ok, I'm definitely going to need a powerful Fire-type, all these giant bugs will burn…..'
"Hardly, as far as I can sense…. It has a minor rodent problem. Rattata and the like, I should be more than adequate in removing an obstacle as minuscule as that." My physic said with a scoff as he literally disappeared.
'Huh….. He's kind of an oddball. He should have at least waited for me to give the go-ahead.' With a sigh, I sat down on a nearby fallen log as my new 'exterminator' went on his first hunt.
"So… Johto huh, fuck man… what am I going to do" I said aloud as I cupped my forehead and sighed.
'What the hell am I even supposed to do now, get together a strong enough team and hunt down Palkia….. Try to talk him into sending me back home. If it even can?'
'Do I even want to go back?' That thought was probably the most damning of them all because honestly, the world was going downhill fast. Mass spreading diseases, a new terrorist organization every week, minor wars breaking out on other continents, teenagers killing in mass at schools, corporate greed, and the finite resources of the world being misused. Hell, it was only a matter of time until the next world war, probably would've died in a few years anyway. It's honestly depressing….. humanity that is.
'Should I try to run the Pokémon circuit? Live out a childhood dream in an attempt to escape my old life and memories. I'm sure I could find a way to get some type of fake identification to be able to register for the league. Or maybe talk to and try to make a good enough sob story to get him to vouch for me. Try to do it the 'right way'.
'It's not impossible…. Especially when the gods of this world literally live among the people, could probably just say I was caught in a battle that Palkia was a part of and now I have no clue where I am. Could maybe try the amnesia route… unless for some reason you have to go under psychic testing. That would probably be the main 'treatment' of such an injury, cross that one out''
Just as that thought finished a Kadabra appeared in front of me slightly charred with a small layer of smoke still coming off of him from a previous battle.
"I may have underestimated the rodents…" Minato said in embarrassment.
"What's the problem? What Pokémon is it?" I said with mild worry. 'Dammit, we haven't even discussed strategies or anything. I have no idea of his moveset either….No time like the present I guess'
"Raiiiiiu chuuuuu!" The call of a Pokémon was heard just as a wild mouse burst through the doors of the facility.
"Minato, reflect now. Don't wait for it, get ready for a teleport. Appear behind him." I ordered quickly, almost as soon as the rodent monster appeared in front of him trying to end the battle with a Volt tackle.
Luckily he got the reflect up in time, though he was still sent flying back almost five meters. A few more seconds later he appeared a few feet behind the angry electric rodent.
"Confusion now! Follow that up with another teleport, to me."
The wild Riachu was sent staggering back as confusion hit its mark, and luckily it seemed to begin shaking its head around almost as if it was no longer able to keep its focus on the battle.
'What luck! A confusion debuff' I thought in delight as my Kadabra appeared next to me.
"Alright this our chance, we need to take it out before the confusion wears off."
"Understood!" The bipedal fox confirmed.
"First appear next to it and hit with the strongest physic move you know, most likely psybeam. Repeat that process continuously until either I order a retreat or the Raichu is unconscious!" I yelled with vigor.
And without further ado, he disappeared.
Appearing next to the Raichu, with a malicious gleam in his eye he fires off the first beam.
Slamming into the Pokemon's side as it was sent across the clearing.
Another five seconds passed as it appeared next to it again, again sending it flying. This time against a tree, a loud thunk was heard across the clearing. A few seconds later the stubborn Pokémon began struggling to its feet.
'Two point-blank psybeams, a confusion and it's still not fainted? Minato did just evolve, after all, so I guess that makes sense. We're just lucky the little rat didn't get a chance to use Thunder'
It was all going perfectly until a problem occurred, a few seconds passed and Minato didn't appear next to it.
Shifting my focus from the struggling mon, I'm greeted by my Pokémon standing there with his arms crossed as if he was waiting for it to get up.
'What the fuck, this isn't a superhero movie. Always double tap dammit!'
"Minato! Finish it, Psybeam now!" I yelled an order but I was a second too late. Almost as soon as the words left my mouth and I turned back to the Raichu, it was already gone. Turning back quickly, I noticed its silhouette falling from the sky while its tail was lit up in a silver glow.
Before I could even utter a warning its powered-up iron tail slammed right into Kadabra's forehead, smashing its head into the ground. A small crater was formed as Kadabra remained unresponsive.
Flabbergasted by how fast the rodent moved I was horrified by what I saw it do next.
'Raiiiii!' It began growling as its entire body lit up with electricity. Then it turned its chubby head downward at my fallen Pokémon in pure contempt.
'Fuck! Either Volt tackle or Thunder and I don't think Minato could take either at this point. He's fucking unconscious' before even finishing the thought I began sprinting toward the battle.
'Come on, come on. I'm almost there!'
'Chuuuu…' just as he began releasing the bolt into the sky I made it, and kicked the chubby bastard as hard as I could. Surprisingly it worked and he was sent flying into yet another tree, the thunder canceled.
—-Current Party—-
Name: Minato
Species: Kadabra
Type: Psychic
Level: 17
Ability: Inner Focus (Prevents Pokemon from flitching)
Moves: Psybeam, Confusion, Teleport, Reflect, Hypnosis, Calm Mind.