Uploaded On: 10th January 2023.
A/N: This is an experimental story where I'm using a different writing style and defining characters dissimilarly. Shizuru should be noticeably contrasting compared to how I usually write her (more rash and forward). The title is an inside joke. Yes, it is a secret, and no, I am not telling you.
Woe is Me
Spiteful Silence
She could not believe the nerve of that woman!
Pacing within her dorm, Natsuki Kruger, Number II Pearl and Trias Representative, growls under her breath. No matter how hard she tries—Founder's sake, she sure does!—the Archmeister will not relent!
This has been a serious issue for over a year now.
The Bewitching Smile Amethyst is, simply put, an infuriating letch.
It is ridiculous.
Natsuki is no prude—of course not—but Shizuru is earnestly too much to handle sometimes.
"Natsuki…" Mai has been watching her entire tirade this whole time from her bed. "I am sure Shizuru mea—"
"—Means well?!" Natsuki snaps, scoffing afterwards as she comes to an abrupt standstill. "Our relationship!" She turns to Mai, lifting her arms upwards animatedly. "It's inappropriate yet everyone knows because she's so grandiose! The staff members already warned me to end my relationship with her when she became the Archmeister!"
Natsuki shakes her head, practically seething the words. "The relationship I wanted remaining private in the first place! So why does everyone know! Why did everyone know I was dating Shizuru before I did?!"
The Number I Pearl and Trias Prefect merely sits there, waiting out the older student's rant. Mai loves Natsuki—truly, she does—but this? Natsuki's venting is always explosive and frankly it overwhelms Mai.
Natsuki sighs, collapsing onto her bed and propping her elbows to her thighs. Placing her head into her hands, she frantically mulls over the argument they had earlier. Oh, she is pissed! "Agh!" She slams her fist into the mattress in frustration.
An excessive and awkward silence rampages their room.
"These arguments…" Mai says hesitantly, a little afraid of Natsuki's potential outburst. "They've been getting worse lately."
"They sure have." Natsuki angrily grumbles, glaring at the floorboards. But what else is there to say? She sure as hell does not want to speak with the Archmeister right now. Especially not when Shizuru will predictably tease her nonsensically!
She is sick to the back teeth of being treated like a child!
A nail-biting moment clicks.
"We only have a few months left until graduation." Mai points out. "You'll be returning to Aries, right? Since you were unable to find a contract?"
"Yeah." Natsuki breathes, calming down somewhat. Pressing the heel of her palm against her temple, Natsuki roughly massages this area. Founder's sake! What is she going to do? She loves Shizuru like no other, but she sure makes it difficult.
"I need a breather." With this, Natsuki gets up and leaves before Mai could stop her.
Storming down the corridor, her fellow classmates quickly get out of the way. They know when she's angry and that they should not interfere. The last fool to do so made an excellent example.
Haunty whispers fly from Natsuki's lips as she turns the corner and descends the stairs. She marches so swiftly that she did not notice the crowd looking her way.
Either way, rumours will be circulating and forming preposterous conspiracy theories in her wake.
Exiting the building, Natsuki breathes a sigh of relief, now heading directly for the gardens. There's a spot where few people visit. There she shall remain until she calms down.
Minutes later, she's at her favourite tree on the edge of the Sprites' Forest.
Sitting down on a hefty root, she rakes a hand through her hair.
This is awful. What is she going to do?
Shizuru means the world to her even though she has known her for a short time. She could not explain it, there is just something there—a fire. But—Natsuki's hand transitions from her hair to her forehead, leaning into it.
"You sure make it impossible." She mutters under her breath, rather unsure if this is aimed at Shizuru or herself.
Instead, Natsuki closes her eyes, focusing upon her surroundings.
The breeze, swaying tree branches, birds, distant city life…
It's all peaceful ambiance.
After a prolonged pause of staring at her feet, Natsuki's gaze pulls up. As if by sixth sense, her eyes catch the person she does not want to see.
Shizuru Viola.
Natsuki immediately leaps to her feet, making a motion to leave.
"Wait!" Shizuru calls from the path, hurrying over. "Natsuki, I wanted—"
"—That's all it is with you. Want, want, want." Natsuki shoots, silencing the Archmeister firmly who halts before her. "What is with you, Shizuru? You know how I am—private." With this, Natsuki turns to leave, but is stopped.
Freezing, her eyes pulled to her wrist which is being seized.
"Natsuki, please wait—"
"—Why should I? You never wait for me—"
"—It is your mother. She is in the hospital."
"W-what?" Natsuki slowly looks at her, not quite understanding what Shizuru has just told her. "My mother…" She echoes. "...is in the hospital?"
"Yes."
"I…" Natsuki rips her wrist out of Shizuru's grip, standing there apprehensively. The sentence her Archmeister has declared repeats several times within her head. 'It is your mother. She is in the hospital.'
She smears her palm against her forehead. '...is your mother. She is in the hospital.'
Her environmental awareness disappears, all her focus upon that one sentence. '...She is in the hospital—' Sudden solid warmth embraces Natsuki, pulling her from this onslaught.
Enveloped by her Archmeister, Natsuki finds her face within the crook of Shizuru's neck. Trepidatiously she returns the hug, her brain still having not caught up. 'It is… your mother… She is…'
"It happened earlier this morning. We do not yet know the details." Shizuru softly relays the information into her ear. "Would you like to sit down?" All she receives is a silent nod.
Soon they are seated beneath the barred gazebo by the water feature across campus.
Throughout the entire walk, Natsuki has been horrifically mute.
Shizuru examines the Pearl who stares off into space.
What is she going to do? This news has come at the worst time for both of them. Natsuki due to her upcoming graduation and… well, for her own incompetence.
Don't misunderstand, Shizuru is fully aware of her behaviour. Before Miss Maria had informed her of Saeko Kruger's condition, Shizuru wanted to apologise to Natsuki.
That will simply have to wait.
"Did the doctors… mention anything else?" Natsuki finally asks after what feels like aeons.
Shizuru could only wince, gaze falling to her lap where her hands are residing. Threading her fingers together, she unweaves them seconds later, unable to settle. She will not tell Natsuki the details because they will break her.
"They are performing tests." The Archmeister partially lies.
Oh, how could she tell her…?
"Is there… is there any…" Natsuki whispers so quietly that Shizuru has difficulty hearing her. "…information at all?" Her voice cracks beneath the pressure, a gasp following afterwards. The Pearl immediately faces away from Shizuru, hiding her face within her hands.
"S.V. Bewitching Smile Amethyst—more information has been logged within your database. Addressee: Saeko Kruger. Topic: Medical Records." The Founder's voice sounds from Shizuru's GEM; the jewellery flashing a brilliant violet. Nervously, she brushes her fingertips across the gemstone, initiating the database.
"Disease: Acute Myeloid Leukaemia (AML). Description: AML is a cancer that starts in the bone marrow where blood cells are produced. From here it spreads quickly to other parts of the body. This may include the liver, spleen, skin, brain and spinal cord. Survival Rate: Twenty to thirty percent without treatment. Prognosis Timeline: Chemotherapy is underway. Treatment Requirements: Stem cell donors."
Oh, sweet Fumi… This is breaking Shizuru's heart. How is she supposed to break this news to Natsuki?
The Archmeister hesitantly examines Natsuki from the corner of her eye. She is leaning downwards, her forearms pressing to her thighs with her hands clenched into fists. Hair hanging, it obscures Shizuru's view of her face.
Shizuru could not see her, but by the quivering shoulders—"Natsuki." She understands what's happening; drawing her into another embrace. "Natsuki, please look at me?"
Natsuki shakes her head, face pressing against Shizuru's front. H-how is s-he supposed to…—a fleeting gasp quakes from Natsuki's body. "I-I d-don't….—don't…"
Why? Why? Why?!
Thinking swiftly, Shizuru loops an arm around Natsuki's head, keeping her partially hidden within her throat. Returning her hand to her GEM, she begins a call: "Send me through to the Underground Facility."
The buzz of her intercom is linked through with faint static.
"Yohko Helene, Underground Facility. What's the meaning of this call?"
Good, Yohko's there. Shizuru sighs the faintest breath of relief. "This is the Archmeister. I have found Natsuki Kruger. She is unwell."
There's a pause from the medical officer.
"Very well. I assume that she has been notified of her mother's condition?"
Not… entirely. Shizuru guiltily holds the crumbling Pearl within her arms, peering skywards to the azure horizon.
It will rain tonight.
A/N: This will probably have somewhere between five to twelve chapters. I am not yet sure.
I also recently updated Renascence. On the 1st June 2023 it will receive 15k more words. Alongside this, my decision will be made whether to continue it. Its continuation depends entirely upon reader engagement. If it has no critique and interest (critical reviews, not "pls updat author-sensei"), I will simply assume silent readers don't care. No, adding it to your alerts or favourites does not count. This tells me nothing. Am I being a bitch? Yes, because almost everyone ignores my questions.
As for Woe is Me, please tell me how the emotion comes across. I am trying to develop heartache, anger and conflicting thoughts. Natsuki is specifically the focus here for these emotions. Shizuru meanwhile is someone she can selfishly spite and feel guilty for.