Lights cut on, illuminating a grand stage draped in velvet curtains. The murmurs of excited audience members rumbled through the eloquent setting, awaiting what was certainly a unique change in scenery here in the PM64 Universe. What grand spectacle awaited everyone?
The curtains parted a little, allowing two figures to take the stage. A fancifully dressed Spinda wearing a proper suit and top hat, and a mechanical Pikachu dressed in a sparkling Santa outfit.
"Greetings and salutations, my dear readers! It is I, PokeMaster64! Better known to all of you as Brad!" I, the Spinda, greeted with a bow.
The mechanical Pikachu winked. "And don't forget about little ol' me! Laura, mistress of deceit and adorable android of destruction!"
I approached the edge of the stage. "It's great to have you all here again! Man, it feels like yesterday we had our last Christmas special." I sighed. "The hands of time are a cruel fellow. Suffering the awfulness that was a blistering summer, now brought to the season of death itself as we are reborn into the new year of 2025."
Laura waved it off. "Oh, save the melodrama. We're here to have fun, remember?"
I laughed. "Yeah, why bring down the mood? And what better time than now with something a little different."
Laura smirked. "Our dear pal, Brad, won't be able to do his usual Q this year. He's finally doing something he should've done a long time ago: take a vacation!"
I shook my head. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be on vacation this month, so I don't have all the time in the world to worry about answering questions on a short deadline. Besides, I figured this year would be the time to experiment and have some fun with the format, kind of like the first special. After all, if we're going to bring all the characters together, let's really bring them all together."
"And with a stage like this, there's only one purpose for it to serve!"
"A PM64 retelling of the classic Christmas story: A Christmas Carol!" we exclaimed.
I sighed. "Everyone's done it to death, obviously. Practically every piece of fiction you can think of has done a retelling or a parody of Charles Dickens' famous tale. Then again, it's a beloved classic, even if it gets retold a million and one times. But hey, we're here to have a good time, so we're naturally going to play with the concept."
Laura danced around the stage. "All the beloved tropes and themes with some of that PM64 chaos thrown in. Oh, what excitement awaits us? Who will be our fun-loving Fezziwig? Who will be our mischievous spirits? Who will be the innocent and hope-filled Tiny Tim? And, most importantly of all, who will be our crooked and miserly Scroo—"
"Why, none other than me, of course!"
Laura and I felt the collective groan and boos from the audience as a particularly hated member of the PM64 Universe made an early appearance on stage: the dastardly and vile Darby Tetrarch. The princely Prinplup bowed to the booing audience, especially a particular Slowpoke hissing at the front of the stage and shouting something vile in Spanish.
Darby laughed. "Please, please, save your admiration until after the show."
I sighed and raised my hands to get everyone's attention. "Okay, okay, look. I know this seems a little unorthodox for a casting choice, buuuuut…I wanted to give everyone a fair shot at the role." I glared off to the side. "It was either him or Reuben, and I don't think having him on stage would've done us any favors."
"Freak of nature doesn't know when to stay dead," Laura grumbled.
I smiled awkwardly. "So, you know, let's…give ol' Darby a chance, shall we?"
Darby laughed. "I shall captivate the audience with my incredible acting and my journey toward spiritual redemption. Bring on the three spirits. I shall conquer my sins."
Someone threw a rotten tomato in his face.
"…I'm going to ignore that." He turned and walked back behind the curtain.
Laura smirked. "Nice throw, Cappy!"
I scratched my name and sighed. "This is going to be a long night." I grinned. "Well, enough stalling. Shall we proceed?"
Laura and I gestured to the curtains. "Presenting: a PM64 Christmas Carol!"