A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for not having updated for two weeks. I kind of got back into reading fics as well and it has consumed sooo much of my time. On that note, any good mentor fics with Harry and Snape you can think of, I would love your recommendations ;)

Where oft I sate and long did lie.

Chapter 24

"Harry," Hermione stammered. "Are you sure that Professor Snape allowed this? That doesn't sound like him. I'm as eager as you are to find out what Slytherin left behind but for all we know, there's another basilisk down there and you don't exactly have the sword of Gryffindor on you."

Harry shrugged. "Technically, he did say to let him know the next time we were to 'embark on our next adventure'," Harry said, mimicking the man. "But I can always inform him after."

"Harry," Hermione admonished softly.

Harry groaned. "Don't you think he owes methismuch?" he asked. "After the things he put me through?"

"That's not fair," Hermione said. She crossed her arms and frowned at Harry. "It's not as if this is a walk in the park for him either, you know?"

Harry looked away from the inviting passageway. "What do you mean?"

"Well – he told you about equivalent exchange, didn't he?" Hermione asked, sounding slightly as if she was found out.

"I mean, yeah," Harry said. "Vaguely. But he wouldn't tell me what that meantexactly. And Madame Pomfrey seemed alright this morning."

The corner of Hermione's mouth twisted upwards as if she was contemplating something. "I see," she said.

"What do you know?" Harry asked her. Not knowing was only making it worse.

Hermione sighed. "Please just ask him about this before you head in," she said. "If he can, he'll probably join you. And if you don't and he's mad about it… I know you Harry. You'll feel guilty."

"Why?" Harry pushed again. "Because of the state he's in, you mean? Because of what I'm putting him through?"

"Harry, I didn't mean it like that," Hermione said, trying to placate him. "I'm just trying to look out for you. If you just calm down and think about things logically, you'll see that I'm right."

She took hold of Harry's hand and when he tried to pull back, she simply tightened her grip. "I know that you probably don't want to talk about these things too much," she said. "And I understand that. It's perfectly okay to feel vulnerable about this. Especially considering the relationship you used to have with Professor Snape. But I know that he'll come with us if you just ask. There's no reason to be sneaking around like this."

Harry sighed. "You're all over the place, Hermione," she said. "But I guess you're right. Fine. Let's go find him then."

Hermione smiled widely at him. "Great!" she said happily.

And if Harry really thought about it, going in by himself would be just the thing to have his floo privilege revoked already.

"Clossse," he hissed at the fireplace, ordering it to fix the fireplace again before some unsuspecting first-year decided to go exploring while they were away.

"Good thinking," Hermione said.

"Come on," Harry urged. "Let's go to his office."

But when they knocked on his office door, there came no reply. Harry tried to open the door himself but it wouldn't budge.

"Maybe he's in his private quarters, still?" Hermione offered.

"Maybe," Harry agreed. He wasn't exactly eager to disturb the man there but surely, the Potions Master would forgive him when he found out what they were fetching him for.

"Professor Snape!" Harry called out after pounding on his private door. Hermione was looking over her shoulder as if she was about to get caught somewhere she wasn't supposed to be.

"Professor!" Harry called out again. "Come on, I'm trying to do the right thing here!"

"As heartening as that is to hear, Mr Potter," Snape's baritone voice suddenly said from behind them. "I would think you would have preferred not to announce your presence to the ones left behind in the dungeons."

"Professor!" Harry said happily as he turned around. But his face fell when he saw the man's face. He was even paler than he usually was. Sweat glistened on his forehead and neck and he didn't carry himself with the certain gait he normally made his own. "Are you okay?" Harry heard the tone of his own voice switch from excitement to worry in an instant.

But Snape's gaze was fierce and strong. "That is of no concern to you, Mr Potter," he said. "Now either explain your presence or move aside. I haven't the time nor the patience for your antics at the moment."

"Harry found –"

"It's nothing," Harry said, speaking over Hermione to shut her up. "Nothing that can't wait, sir."

Snape quirked an eyebrow at Harry, then fixed Hermione with a fierce glare. "I do hope that you are not up to something," he said darkly. "I am not in the mood to clean up any messes."

"No sir," Harry said. "Not up to anything. We won't disturb you anymore. It can wait."

Snape stared at him for a few seconds more before an internal battle seemed to have been sorted. He sighed and nodded sharply. "Very well," he said. "Please retreat to your common room for now. I will see you tonight."

"Yes sir," Harry said. He and Hermione watched as Snape walked into his private chambers and shut the door with a soft click.

Harry spun on his heel and walked back to the common room, muttering under his breath.

"Harry?" Hermione said. "What's wrong? Why didn't you say anything?"

"He looked absolutely terrible!" Harry exclaimed. "Like death warmed over."

Hermione sighed and followed Harry as he went back into the Slytherin common room. "I guess he hasn't fully recovered yet," she said.

"Could you just tell me, already?" Harry asked. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know if he wants me to –"

"Hermione," Harry said sternly. "Hetoldme about the equivalent exchange. Iknowhe has to pay some kind of price. Him and Madame Pomfrey both. And I do have eyes. I saw what he was like just now. I know practically everything and he already knows everything about me! Don't you think it's only fair that you would tell me what the hell I'm doing to them?"

"You're not doing anything, Harry," Hermione said softly.

Harry sighed and sat down heavily in front of the fireplace. "Just tell me," Harry said.

"It's really not that bad," Hermione acquiesced. She sat down next to him and smiled encouragingly. "Madame Pomfrey doesn't seem to be affected all that much because Professor Snape decided to take on the largest portion of the burden. He's just feeling a bit out of sorts. He likened it to the flue."

Harry frowned. "Why doesn't he just take some pepper-up potion?"

"It doesn't work like that, Harry," Hermione said. "The laws of equivalent exchange need to be honoured. It's important for the magic to keep working as intended. If Professor Snape would try to cheat his way out of it, he might even lose some of his powers."

Harry's eyes widened. "It's that dangerous for him to help me?" he asked bewildered. "That's too much! I don't want him to become a… a squib for me!"

"No one said Professor Snape was turning into a squib," Hermione said. "As long as he doesn't try to bypass the laws of equivalent exchange, he'll be fine."

Harry snorted. "Fine," he said. "He's sick."

Hermione smiled kindly. "We've all been sick before," she said. "And we definitely didn't have any magical remedies when we were younger, now did we? I'm sure that Professor Snape can handle feeling a bit feverish for a while."

Harry frowned. "Do you think that's going to be the worst of it?" he asked quietly. "Just a case of the flu?"

"That's hard to say," Hermione told him. "I think that it kind of depends on the injury he's trying to heal."

Harry's eyes widened in shock when he looked at her. "But that's… Hermione, that's horrible!"

Hermione looked at him sadly. "How bad has it been?" she asked softly. She put her hand on top of Harry's and squeezed it slightly. "Surely it can't get much worse than them burning you with boiling water?"

Harry swallowed thickly as he tried to ignore the ghosts of his past swimming through his mind. "It can," he said softly. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to stay with me during all of this. I didn't know how bad it was going to be and I… I don't want to put this strain on you."

"Don't you dare, Harry," Hermione said, her voice sharp all of a sudden. "You don't get to decide for me what's best for me. I am going to stay by your side, no matter what. Yes, it's hard. I'll admit it. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to abandon you! But…"

"But?" Harry urged.

"Are you sure that you want to leave Ron out of this? Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to pawn this off on him or anything but I know that he's your best friend. He might be a more worthwhile distraction."

Harry had to admit that after last night, he actually regretted not taking the time to talk to Ron about all of this. Yes, it would be supremely awkward but that was going to be true either way. And right now, he really could have used his support. Hermione was right. She was great and all but Ron was his best friend. He could try and distract Harry with quidditch and talk of his family. But..

"He's gone home, Hermione," Harry said. "It's too late now."

"You have the password to the floo network though, right?" Hermione said. "You could fire-call him."

Harry frowned. "What are you talking about? What is that?"

"Well," Hermione said. "That's when you use the floo to stick your head in there and you can see and hear each other but you're both still on your own side."

"Sounds er… warm."

"It's fine," Hermione said. "It's as hot as actual floo travel. Would you like to give it a try?"

Harry was wringing his hands. "To what end, though?" he said. "I doubt that he'll be allowed to come back here now that he's home."

"I'm sure that Professor Snape would gladly make an exception," Hermione soothed. "He knows how hard you've been struggling and you said it yourself. He's been a lot better to you, lately."

"He might be upset about me calling Ron in the first place, though," Harry pointed out.

Hermione sighed. "I know what you're doing, you know. You're usually not this opposed to breaking minor rules. I get it if you don't want to talk to Ron about this. I just thought you might want the option. But I'm not going to force you."

Harry nodded. "Let me think about it, okay?" he said. "For now, your company is enough." He cupped the hand that was holding his with his own and smiled. "Thanks for looking out for me."

Hermione smiled back at him. "Of course," she said sincerely.

Harry had barely eaten anything for dinner. And if Hermione hadn't forced him to, he would have foregone lunch entirely as well. But he knew that she was right about him needing to keep his strength up. As he meandered towards the hospital wing once more, Hermione in tow, he couldn't help but wonder if Snape would even be there. If this morning was any indication, there was no way that the man would be fit enough to heal Harry's injuries this evening.

But since he hadn't heard otherwise, and he was expected to make an appearance every evening, he dutifully went there, Hermione's subtle hand on his back helping to steady his thoughts.

Harry still wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel relief or not when he saw Snape waiting for him. He was looking decidedly like himself again. His demeanour was calm and steady and Pomfrey's smile was reassuring.

"Professor," Harry greeted with some trepidation. "How are you feeling?"

"You needn't worry about me, Mr Potter," Snape said easily. "I assure you that I am up to the task."

Harry huffed. "That's not why I asked."

Snape looked at him strangely but didn't answer him.

"Are you quite ready, Mr Potter?" Pomfrey asked him kindly.

Harry smiled nervously. "As ready as I'll ever be," he said. "what are you thinking of tackling today?"

The glance Snape and Pomfrey shared for a split second did not inspire confidence. Harry sighed. "That bad, huh?"

"I won't lie to you, Mr Potter," Snape said. "This one will hurt. Do you recall when it was that you broke your femur?"

"Er…" Harry stammered, feeling a bit stupid. "What's that?"

"The bone in your upper leg," Hermione supplied and pointed at her own. "Right about here."

Harry blanched. He remembered it alright. That injury had been particularly painful and even with his magic, it had taken a long time to heal. Subconsciously, he stroked the offending area. "Oh," he said. "Yeah, er… I remember."

"I can easily sense your trepidation, Mr Potter," Snape said. "Perhaps, it would be prudent to explain why this particular bone needs to be reset properly."

Harry swallowed and looked Snape in the eye. He was scared but tried his best not to show it. "Alright, sir," he said. "Should I change into a hospital gown first?"

"If you would," Snape said, inclining his head.

Grateful for the small moment of respite he had behind the curtain, Harry clutched the gown to his chest in a creased lump as he tried to regain his courage. What if the memory would resurface? He remembered what happened – of course – but he sure as hell didn't want to relive it again. He hadn't come close to death or anything but it was one of the most painful moments he experienced at the Dursleys.

He took a few more deep breaths, donned the hospital gown and steeled his nerves. He would need to get through this. Everyone was here to help him and it would not do for him to just run away now. He just needed to remember that he would be better for it in the end.

Snape nodded at him with something akin to approval in his eyes when Harry re-emerged and motioned for him to take a seat on the hospital bed.

"Now," Snape said as he took a hold of Harry's feet. "I don't know if you've ever noticed this before but your legs are… misaligned so to speak. Your injured leg is slightly shorter than the other."

"Oh yeah," Hermione said but shut up when Snape glared at her.

"Is that really such a problem, though?" Harry asked carefully. "I mean, it's not really noticeable, is it?"

"Do you experience pain in your back, hips or knees sometimes, Mr Potter?" Snape asked.

"Sure," Harry said with some doubt. "A little bit. After quidditch or after standing for a while. But that's normal, right?" He looked at Hermione but she shook her head no. "Oh."

"It can be fixed now," Snape told him. "I can understand that you'd rather leave this one for later but I'm afraid that would make things harder. It's best that we take care of this injury first in order to eliminate it as a source of your pain. That way, we might be able to leave other, smaller injuries alone."

Harry bit his lip as he doubted his resolve. "But…"

Snape took a seat on Harry's bed who moved his legs a bit to make room for the Potions Master. "If I may ask," he said. "Are you afraid of the pain or the memory?"

Harry thought about this with a frown of consternation. "Both, I guess," he said honestly but then he sighed. "But I'd take the pain over the memory any day, really. It's just…" To his horror, he noticed that he was already crying. He angrily scrubbed the stray tear away and lay back. "Let's just do this," he said. "There's no use talking about this, is there?"

"If I may," Snape said softly. "I by no means wish to force you but if you want, I can join you in the memory. I can help."

Harry mulled this over. He really did. But how could he trust the man to meddle with his mind? How could he know for sure that he wouldn't use what he saw as ammunition against him? If it was anyone else, then maybe. But no. Not Snape. Never Snape.

"No thank you, sir," Harry said, his voice sounding a lot smaller than he would have liked.

"As you wish," Snape said. Harry picked up on the frustration in the man's voice but was grateful that he didn't push the issue.

"At the very least, take this calming draught, Mr Potter," Pomfrey said and offered Harry a familiar potion. "This will be painful but we will do our best to work as quickly as we can."

Harry nodded sharply, took the potion and handed the empty vial to Hermione who set it aside. She took Harry's hand and he already squeezed it tightly in anticipation.

"It will be alright," Hermione said. "It will be over soon."

Harry felt the cold, poisonous claw of fear grab a hold of his heart and he swallowed thickly to try and clear the feeling but it wouldn't go away. The curtain was raised again to protect Hermione from seeing what Harry remembered was to be a fucking bloodbath and he was momentarily glad for Snape's discretion. "Let us begin."

And then he felt the long-forgotten blow to his leg that had shocked him to his core. Snape swore awfully under his breath as a second blow connected. The pain was so grievous that Harry wasn't even able to utter a sound… at first. But after the first seconds, he couldn't help but scream. The sound reverberated against the walls and was filled with pain and panic. Again and again the familiar blows struck him when he was once again pulled into the memory of his abuse, vaguely wondering if perhaps heshouldhave let Snape help him after all.

Harry was eleven, nearing on twelve. He had just finished his first year at Hogwarts and had been dumped back at the Dursleys, even after begging Dumbledore to be allowed to stay in the school.

After the entire Dobby debacle happened, ruining Vernon's promotion and even jeopardising his job, things had taken a dark turn.

Vernon's face had turned a dark purple, looking as if it was ready to burst into a hundred meaty pieces. His eyes all but bulged out of their sockets when he looked down at Harry. Drunk with hatred and unbridled rage, Vernon had grabbed a baseball bat – one that Dudley had gotten for Christmas and used all but once – and hit Harry as hard as he could on his upper leg.

Harry screamed in agony when the first blow connected but that only seemed to anger Vernon more. The bat came down again and again with ridiculous accuracy. The barrage of blows did not let up and when Harry tried to protect his leg with his hands, he was kicked back to give Vernon full access again.

"Please stop!" He begged. "It wasn't me, I swear. I didn't do it!"

"Shut up, you freak!" Vernon bellowed. "Your lies won't get you out of this one."

When his next swing landed, Harry both heard and felt a sickening crack when the bone on his leg finally broke. His screams sounded so loud that he couldn't believe that none of the neighbours had even bothered to call the police.

"Stop it!" Harry screamed. "It hurts. Please. I'll be good, I promise!"

Tears were streaming down his face. He was vaguely aware of someone caressing his cheek and squeezing his hand and knew that it was Hermione. He gasped for the air he felt he was lacking and started thrashing. He needed to get out of there. To get away from the pain. A pair of strong hands grabbed him by his hips and kept him in place.

"Calm yourself, Mr Potter," came Snape's quivering voice. "We are almost done."

"I don't want this," Harry sniffed. "You're hurting me."

When the pain finally started to subside, Harry finally calmed down. His breathing was still ragged and he was still squeezing Hermione's hand tightly but he could finally open his eyes. When he met Hermione's, he could see that her gaze was full of horror.

"Harry," she said, her voice trembling as she spoke. "It's over. You're okay."

Harry didn't reply. He was scared that if he said anything else, he might just burst into tears. He hadn't done anything wrong. He had behaved and done everything they told him to. And still, Vernon had done this to him. He tried to see over the curtain and saw Snape and Pomfrey talk to each other in hushed whispers.

"You're done, right?" Harry asked, hating the vibration in his voice.

Pomfrey looked at him and smiled kindly. "You're done, dear," she said. "You can go ahead and rest now. No more for today." Snape had turned away and was messing with some potions.

"Thank Merlin," Harry mumbled. He laid back and covered his eyes with his arm to try and keep himself from crying even more.

"You're not sleeping, right, Harry?" Hermione asked softly.

"No," Harry replied. "I know I'm not supposed to. And I'm not feeling tired anyway."

"Kindly take these, Mr Potter," came Snape's weary voice. When Harry looked at him, he noticed that the man was carrying two vials. "Skele-gro and a nerve restorative draught," Snape told him when he saw Harry's confused look.

"Thanks," Harry said. He sat up straight, finally released Hermione's hand and accepted the two vials. Snape was watching him intently as he took the potions, probably to make sure that he didn't just chuck them somewhere or something.

"Ms Granger, Poppy, might I have a word with Mr Potter, please?" Snape then said. And when neither of the women moved he sighed. "Alone."

Hermione seemed about ready to object but Harry met her gaze and smiled. "It's okay," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"If you're sure," Hermione said. "Maybe I could wait in the Slytherin common room for you?"

"Mr Potter will be spending the night here, Ms Granger," Snape told her. "And I would prefer that you are not alone in a common room that isn't yours. Please return to Ravenclaw tower."

"I'll be in my office if either of you need me," Pomfrey said. "Run along now, Ms Granger. You'll see Mr Potter soon enough."

Harry watched as both Pomfrey and Hermione left him with his dour Professor. After the last door closed, he was feeling decidedly uncomfortable in nothing but the hospital gown but Snape seemed to sense his discomfort and took a blanket from one of the unoccupied beds and handed it to Harry.

"Thanks," Harry muttered and finally met Snape's gaze. The man was looking pale and weary again. He sat down into a chair next to the bed and regarded Harry carefully.

"What did you want to discuss, sir?" Harry asked warily.

Snape was tapping his wand against the arm of his chair, almost as if he were nervous. "Mr Potter, it has come to my attention that I never properly discussed your past with you," Snape said. "I have shared with you practical information and offered to heal your injuries but no more than that. I never touched on your emotional state or the… discomfort your memories could bring forth."

"Er…" Harry stammered. "To be fair, sir, that doesn't seem to be your strong suit."

To Harry's surprise, the man chuckled. "Your assessment is not wrong," he said. "But it's important that I make an attempt, nonetheless."

"I'm still not sure what you want to talk about," Harry said, adding a belated 'sir' even though Snape didn't seem to be waiting for it this time.

Snape stood up and started pacing, picking up the empty potion vials on Harry's table and putting them in his robes. "I have read about your injuries, of course," Snape told him with a sideways glance. "And – as you know – the spell gave us an abundance of information. But it is decidedly not the same as witnessing the injury in person."

"Oh," Harry said in understanding. "You're a bit frazzled after today. I understand. It was a bad er… situation."

Snape stood up straight with a snap. "It was horrendous," he said bitterly. "I cannot for the life of me understand how a full grown man can inflict that sort of damage on a child. He must've – no, never mind." He waved his wandless hand as if to get rid of the thoughts he was having. "My point is that your experience has been a devastating once. And I'm not talking about this incident alone. I'm talking about your entire life."

Harry sighed. "It is what it is," he said, not sure what the man wanted from him. "Unfortunately, we can't exactly turn back time, can we?"

For a moment, Snape withdrew a cloth from his robes; moistened it with a silent Aguamenti and wiped his brow with it. The more the man paced, the more he seemed about to fall over. Harry was about to ask Snape to sit down when he spoke. "Mr Potter, I have failed you," he said. He sounded particularly distressed. "I should have noticed. I should have seen the signs from the moment you walked into the great hall. I certainly have some experience in the matter. Not only that, but I also did my best to make your life even more difficult than it already was."

Harry wasn't sure what to say. He gripped the edge of his blanket tightly while Snape took a shuddering breath. He finally sat back down, crossing his feet at the ankles.

"And now – while I know it's for your own good – I am causing you even more agony." Snape averted his gaze, almost as if he was pained to face Harry with these words. "A ridiculous amount of it," he added. Then he sighed, melancholy colouring his words. "And we've scarcely begun, too." Snape gestured clumsily towards the rolled up parchment that contained all of Harry's injuries. His hand trembled slightly.

"Professor," Harry said carefully. "It's not your fault that this happened to me. I don't know why you're saying these things."

"Because I need you to believe me when I say that I regret my past actions," Snape told him. "I need that for you because otherwise, how can you ever believe me when I tell you that you're not going back to those monsters? That I'm causing this pain for your own good? And that I offer my assistance with Occlumency to help you. Not to humiliate you?"

"Why does that matter?" Harry asked. "You never cared much about what I thought before."

For a moment, Snape covered his mouth with one hand but a few seconds later he sighed and leaned back heavily. He really wasn't looking his best. "It matters for your own mental health," Snape then said. "It matters because I fear that you might fall down a dark hole out of which you won't be able to climb back out. Especially after these… sessions."

"I have Hermione," Harry pointed out.

Snape closed his eyes and snorted. "She is barely able to keep herself from falling apart," he said, his words cutting harshly. "And I fear that worse things are yet to come."

Harry shuddered, knowing full well that Snape was right. "What is your suggestion, sir?"

Snape now leaned on his knees with his elbows. Harry just wished the man would sit still for a moment. "First of all, it was rash of me to expect to be able to work this out in a fortnight," Snape said. "We will not be able to do this daily. For your health and my own, I think we need to make these sessions a weekly thing at most."

Harry exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Yes, please," he said gratefully.

"Secondly -" Snape rose from his seat again, walking restlessly back and forth. "If it would be amenable to you, I would like to get you started on remedial potions. I think it will help build some rapport between us two while helping you attain a reasonable grade."

Harry did his best not to groan. He really didn't want to do that. "I'd rather not, Professor," Harry said honestly. "However. I might have another idea."

Snape stopped pacing and quirked a sardonic eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Have you ever noticed that there's a hidden passageway behind the fireplace in the Slytherin common rooms?"

A fire seemed to light in Snape's eyes but before he could reply, he suddenly rushed to the bathroom. Harry winced when he heard the man puke his guts out until the sound suddenly stopped, probably because of a silencing spell.

A/N:I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review!