The team spends the night camping and there are more serious talks
Chapter 56: Put my mind at ease (trickle down my spine)
Hinata awoke to the opening of the tent door and she was already squirming out of her sleeping back by the time Ino crawled in. The blonde kunoichi had claimed the first watch in order to — in her own words — maximize her uninterrupted beauty sleep. Rubbing the drowsiness from her eyes with closed fists, Hinata made a soft sound of acknowledgement as the other girl settled into her own sleeping bag.
Alertness starting to sharpen her mind, Hinata made her way out of the tent, securing the door closed behind her. Ino had kept the fire burning during her watch, flames low but embers still bright in the pit. Hinata sat in front of it, soaking in the warmth. Winter chill tended to cling to spring evenings and tonight was no exception.
After a minute of reacclimating herself to wakefulness, Hinata activated her dōjutsu. The forest was alive with nighttime critters, the moon a thin sliver among the plentiful stars. There wasn't another human being for the twenty kilometers that made up Hinata's range outside of her mission partners and Fujiwara.
Fujiwara, who was awake, staring listlessly in the dark of the carriage.
Hinata closed her eyes. When she next opened them, her byakugan had receded. Frowning sadly at the dying fire, Hinata went to stoke it and her eyes caught on the bag of treats Naruto had received from Yuna. By the time they'd finished dinner, they'd forgotten all about it.
Sorting through the bag, Hinata considered each drink and snack before landing on a can of amazake. It reminded her of festivals and of going to the temple for the new year.
Drink in hand, she made her way to the carriage. Knocking softly against the door, Hinata waited a moment before slowly opening it to enter. Fujiwara was already watching the door with a blank gaze, but upon seeing her he straightened up.
"Fujiwara-san," Hinata greeted, voice barely above a whisper. "Sorry to disturb you."
Fujiwara eyed her for a moment before shrugging. His face was clean, hair recently washed and combed. There were standards for appearing before the Daimyo, it seemed, even for prisoners. His feet were shackled together by cuffs, as were his hands, a long thick chain linking the two sets; it would be impossible for him to run without tripping.
"Not like I was sleeping." The delayed response startled Hinata a little. Fujiwara observed her with narrowed eyes. "But you knew that."
A contrite expression crossed Hinata's face. "It's been some time since dinner. I was wondering if you'd like something to drink?" She held up the can as proof.
Fujiwara regarded it with suspicion. "What is it?"
"Amazake. Sweet, fermented rice," Hinata explained.
Fujiwara reacted to the name. After some thought, he gave a short nod of acquiessence.
Hinata began to smile before realizing the dilemma they faced. Hand-feeding Fujiwara would undoubtedly be mortifying for the both of them. Byakugan flaring to life, Hinata analyzed intricate clasps on Fujiwara's restraints. Gathering chakra to her finger tips, she carefully pressed her thumb and forefinger into the hidden trigger spots on the shackles.
Perhaps she should have been more cautious about doing this under Fujiwara's watchful gaze, but he didn't seem to be paying attention to the movement of her hands. His brown eyes were trained on her face.
One after the other, Hinata released the shackles. Already the skin of his wrists had a chafed appearance. Hinata faintly remembered learning at the academy during Iruka's lectures about eating a healthy diet — often aimed pointedly towards Naruto — that there was a connection between nutrition and injuring easily. Letting her chakra continue to pool in her fingertips Hinata then used iryō ninjutsu to repair the tissue before stepping away. She picked up the can she'd set down and held it out for Fujiwara to accept. When he did, she stepped away again.
Not wanting to make Fujiwara uncomfortable by gawking at him, Hinata busied herself with sitting down on the carriage seat across from him. The curtains on the window were drawn open just a little, permitting a peek at the night sky.
The snap of the can opening drew Hinata's attention back.
Taking a tentative sip, Fujiwara seemed to mull over the flavour of the amakaze before finally swallowing. Head ducked down, he slowly spun the can between his hands. "They sounded happiest when they would speak of the past. Stories about big parties, the clothes they would wear, the food and drink," Fujiwara said contemplatively. "They sounded the happiest…but afterwards they would get the angriest." It was said indifferently, like it was of no concern to him. "They mentioned amakaze before. I'm glad I at least got to taste it once."
"You don't think you'll get another chance?" Hinata asked softly.
Fujiwara continued to stare down at the can, his expression hidden from Hinata's view by his deep, green hair. It had grown since she'd first seen him, a marking of the passage of time. It was now long enough that it held a distinctive wave belying its previously pin straight texture.
All cleaned up like this, Fujiwara Minoru's lineage shone through his features. In another life he would have been clothed in noble finery, not prison garb.
Rather than answering her question, Fujiwara said, "Those stories they would tell…I'd replay them in my mind over and over. Insert myself in them. A lot of times that image was the only thing that got me through the day. The only thing I could hold onto. Eventually it became the only thing that was real. Everything else was just a bad dream." He raised his head to stare pensively out the window. "I couldn't see the moon on that night, when I met that pale man. I used to wander around the grounds at night. It was better than being inside. No one could find me out there."
In the limited confines of the carriage, Fujiwara's knee was only a few centimeters from Hinata's, but Hinata had the sense that he was much further away.
"He told me he could make any dream a reality. And he asked me what I was willing to do for it," Fujiwara recalled. "That image. That dream. The one from before I was born, when things were good. The one I wrote myself into…" Fujiwara's eyes slid away from the window to meet Hinata's. "It didn't look anything like this," he confessed.
For once Fujiwara Minoru's brown eyes weren't covered with a dull glaze, leaving his expression completely open to her. Hinata had seen glimpses of it before, but never quite like this.
He looked hopeless and lost.
Like he'd given up.
The dossier of information Shikamaru had gathered when they'd first looked into the Fujiwara had told of a proud, rich clan with deep ties to the Fire Daimyo. For whatever reason, despite their favoured position, they had chosen to sell secrets that undermined the business of other Hi no Kuni clans, presumably stealing that money away for themselves.
Had they grown too spoiled? Greedy for more when they already had so much?
Had their spending outpaced their earnings? The need to compete with other nobles on lavish expenditures driving them into debt and then the desperation to keep up appearances further compounding the problem?
They wouldn't be the first family to fall into this trap.
Hinata thought of her father's distaste for keeping carriages and horses, behaviour that was, in his mind, unbefitting of a ninja clan.
She also thought of the new kimonos and accessories she always received for birthdays and festivals and any special occasions. Evidence of sentiment or the expectation that any children of his should look the part? Re-wearing outfits to such events was not done in the circles a clan as ancient and important as the Hyuuga ran with. Especially not for the firstborn.
Appearances had to be kept.
To fall so far from grace, to be shuffled out of the busy, metropolitan capital to the dreary countryside in a modest home with no servants…what would that have done to a clan such as the Fujiwara? What had become of their pride? Their greed? Had it twisted into something darker?
What kind of people had they been before?
What kind of people had they become after?
And when Fujiwara Minoru was born, a full year after the downfall of the Fujiwara, what kind of people had he been received by?
Minoru's medical records were not those of a child well cared for.
Hinata knew what it was to feel the sharp slap of her father's palm against her body, to go to bed with her tenketsu still shut down and bruises darkening her skin.
But how could injuries caused during training compare to those caused without any reason at all?
Hinata knew what it was to make excuses not to return home.
But how could that compare when she had a warm bed to herself awaiting her and a kitchen full of food to eat?
Whatever despair Hinata had felt during her childhood, how could any of it compare to what Fujiwara Minoru had been through?
What kind of state of mind would a person, a child, raised in such an environment be in?
Could Hinata even fathom?
Could any of the people who would pass judgment on Minoru tomorrow fathom?
"Actually, I was thinking…with your similar backgrounds, he might have an easier time opening up with you."
Ino had been so sure of their similarities, but to Hinata the disparity between their situations was of a different scale.
"The dream you wrote yourself into…" Hinata murmured, almost to herself.
"You have been taught that there is only one acceptable form of strength. That it presents itself in a certain way."
Trying to conform to others' idea of strength, to mold herself into the heir her father wanted, had never gotten her anywhere.
"You have been taught this, but you have learned to believe differently."
"Trying to step into someone else's dream…is always going to hurt," Hinata said, "Because you have to cut off the pieces of yourself that don't fit. You'll never feel like you belong, not really. And it won't make you happy."
"Happiness wasn't made for someone like me."
"You may believe that's true, but everyone here right now and those back in Konoha who couldn't come along…we believe differently."
Fujiwara let out a low scoff. "You really think the grumpy one feels that way?"
"Sasuke-kun thinks you deserve a chance. He wouldn't be here if he didn't. Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, Ino-san, they're all going to fight for you tomorrow in front of the Daimyo at the tribunal. But none of that matters if you won't fight for yourself."
"I tried fighting before. It was all wrong," Fujiwara said defeatedly.
"There are different ways to fight," Hinata pointed out, voice kind.
Fujiwara didn't say anything to that, instead holding her gaze for a long moment.
They sat like that, quietly, as Fujiwara finished his drink. Once he was done, Hinata took the empty can and redid the restraints, not without a wince of sympathy.
"I'm sure it's uncomfortable, but, um, try to get some rest if you can," Hinata said as she finished double checking the last cuff.
Starting towards the door, she paused. "Fujiwara-san…Minoru-san," Hinata started, twisting slightly to look at the boy over her shoulder. "Tying your self-worth to the approval of another person is a losing game. When you fail to achieve it, it makes you feel like…like there's something fundamentally wrong with you. Because why else wouldn't you be able to live up to their expectations? Why else wouldn't you be able to make them l-love you?" Hinata stumbled over her words a little, averting her gaze briefly out of embarrassment. But when she looked back she saw that Fujiwara Minoru was looking at her with something like understanding in his eyes. With an earnest expression, Hinata told him, "There's nothing wrong with you."
Something like shock crossed Fujiwara's face, his lips parting soundlessly.
Sending him a final, sincere smile, Hinata stepped out of the carriage and closed the door.
The rest of Hinata's watch passed uneventfully. As the end of her shift, she made her way to the boys' tent, silently opening the flap that served as the entrance. Two bodies lay on the floor of the tent, one sprawled out while the other seemed more tightly wound.
The night they'd spent at Sasuke's apartment, Hinata had woken first, only by a few minutes. He'd been loose-limbed with a peaceful expression on his face, a far cry from his position now. Hinata almost thought he would wake up prematurely, but thankfully he slept on.
Turning to the disheveled head of blond hair, Hinata gently shook Naruto's shoulder. It took a few tries, but he finally jolted up, Hinata pulling her head back just in time to avoid a painful collision.
While Naruto reoriented himself, Hinata snuck a glance at Sasuke, relaxing when she saw that he was still asleep.
Retreating from the tent so that Naruto could crawl out, Hinata politely averted her eyes and stoked the low fire as the blond began to stretch.
The noise of Naruto plopping down on the log signaled he was done. "How was the watch?" he asked her, voice scratchy from sleep.
Crouched in front of the fire, Hinata angled her head to the side to face Naruto as she responded. "Quiet." She paused, catching sight of the bag of treats by Naruto's feet. "Oh!" Turning around fully, she said, "I took a can of amazake to Minoru-san. I hope that's alright."
Hinata could see Naruto processing the words, blue eyes squinting. "Why wouldn't it be alright?"
Shifting a little awkwardly, Hinata responded, "Um. Well. It was a gift for you, so…"
"Huh? I'm sure that horse girl meant for us to share it, since we were all going together."
Hinata closed her eyes, feeling sympathetic embarrassment wash over her. "Naruto-kun, please stop calling her that," she said plaintively.
"Sorry, sorry! I mean the girl who takes care of the horses," Naruto said easily.
Hinata shook her head, an exasperated curve to her lips. "Yuna-san," she reminded him.
"Yuna-san," Naruto repeated dutifully. Then, his voice losing its edge of humour, Naruto asked, "How was Minoru?"
Sobering, Hinata straightened up. She sent a glance towards the carriage, wondering if Fujiwara had managed to fall asleep, but choosing not to use her byakugan to check. "I think…not good."
Naruto frowned. For a long moment they both remained silent, lost in their own thoughts.
Feeling a little restless, Hinata couldn't imagine going back to sleep though her watch shift was over. She looked to the forest in the direction where she knew a river lay. She was about to speak when Naruto beat her to it.
"Hey, Hinata-chan…" he started, "I'm glad our shifts ended up back to back, I kinda wanted to say something to you."
Tilting her head to the side, Hinata waited. Their last few one-on-ones had been emotionally charged and Hinata wasn't sure if she could handle another such conversation as spent as she was. But if Naruto needed to speak, she would never have the heart to turn him down.
"I was going to say sorry, but, to be honest, I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately." Naruto wore a serious but amiable expression. So instead, I want to say thank you."
Hinata blinked. "Eh?"
Naruto laughed. "Today was really nice. Being around you, talking about silly things, laughing together. I didn't realize how much I missed it. Even after everything…I'm grateful that you're still willing to be my friend. You've always been really good at it."
Hinata's eyes softened. "I'll always be your friend, Naruto-kun. And thank you too, for being my friend."
With a broad grin, Naruto gave her a thumbs up. "Always. It's a nice change, don't you think? Saying thank you instead of sorry?"
"Mm." Hinata smiled warmly.
They smiled at each other and for the first time in a long time it felt like all the difficulties between them had faded away, leaving only the kind of affection that took years to build.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, Hinata said, "I'm going to head over to the river for a bit."
Understanding crossed Naruto's face and he nodded. "Before you go, take this," he said, reaching for the plastic bag by his feet and pulling out a canned drink. "Might make you feel better."
Hinata stared at the can. Then her eyes drifted up to Naruto's guileless eyes. A little guiltily, she finally confessed, "Naruto-kun…actually, I don't really like the taste of canned green tea."
Blue eyes widened almost comically. Then, of all the reactions Naruto could have had, of course he just laughed in acceptance. "Okay, okay. Got it. No canned green tea, just the real thing." He gestured to the bag. "Let's see if we can find anything you do like in here."
Hinata let out a soft sigh of relief before returning his smile. "I think I saw some canned coffee…"
Eyes blinking open, Sasuke took note of the empty sleeping bag next to him and immediately grasped that he had awoken earlier than needed, but there was no possibility of slipping back into sleep and so he didn't even try to linger any longer in the warmth of the tent.
The spring air was refreshingly cool against Sasuke's cheeks when he stepped outside. The sky was alight with the suggestion of dawn.
Over by the fire, Naruto raised a hand in greeting. "Ino's still sleeping," he said in a hushed voice once Sasuke had made his way over.
Eyes flashing towards the girls' tent, Sasuke asked, "Hinata?"
Naruto nodded towards the forest. "Couldn't sleep," he said simply.
Sasuke frowned.
Naruto hauled himself to his feet and stretched in an exaggerated movement. "Well, if you're gonna get a head start on your shift, I'm not complaining. I'll try to catch a couple more hours." He gave Sasuke a firm pat on the shoulder as he walked off towards the tent.
"If you oversleep, Ino will drag you out by your ears."
Naruto snorted. "That's more Sakura-chan's style. Ino'd probably dump ice water on me," he said, sounding remarkably unconcerned by the prospect.
Sasuke heard the sound of the tent flap closing, but kept his gaze focused on the fire that Naruto had clearly kept well tended, though he wasn't really seeing the flames.
Instead, his mind was occupied with the easy way Naruto had mentioned Hinata's whereabouts. Like it was nothing unusual for her to wander off in the middle of the night on missions. The moment of understanding they'd shared during dinner tonight. Hinata's eyes watching as the horse girl had flirted with him. Her hand grasping his kimono when he'd kissed her at the succession party.
A million little moments he'd witnessed over the course of the past several months flashed through Sasuke's mind and it struck him that it hadn't even been a full year since he'd been back in Konoha.
So much had changed, but perhaps…
Sasuke pulled his eyes away from the fire to look towards the direction Naruto had pointed out.
…perhaps some things had remained the same.
The thick foliage characteristic of the forests of Hi no Kuni obscured most of the predawn light, however Sasuke traversed it with accustomed ease, his path guided by the sound of running water. When the trees thinned to give way to a clearing, the influx of light seemed to halo around a figure standing by the riverbank.
"Oh! Sasuke-kun!" Stray drops of water clung to Hinata's hair and skin, dampening her clothing as well.
Sasuke's features pulled into an automatic frown. He strode towards her with purpose, unclasping his cloak with one hand. When he got within arm's length he proceeded to drape his cloak over her head, ignoring Hinata's muffled "eep" as it fell over her face. "Idiot," he grumbled. As he patted down the cloak, Hinata slipped her head loose but stood compliantly and let him dry her off. "What were you doing out here anyway?" he asked gruffly.
"Running through some suiton jutsus. My mind felt too busy to sleep."
Sasuke grunted. "Explains why those two have no trouble sleeping. Nothing busy about their minds."
Hinata sent him a disapproving frown, though it looked more like a pout. The ends of her bangs were wet, her cheekbones shining where water had dripped onto them. Sasuke used his thumb to wipe them dry; he had to do it one at a time.
Hinata's frown dissipated. Sasuke kept his palm cradling her face and she leaned into the touch.
Sighing softly, Hinata said, "I think Naruto-kun and Ino-san are both deeply affected by the situation. For Ino-san, Minoru-san is the first patient she's been assigned to for counseling. She may not show it, but I'm sure she's feeling a lot of pressure to live up to her clan's name. As for Naruto-kun…" She trailed off, as if unable to even begin to put into words how invested Naruto was in the outcome. "I'm worried about what tomorrow will bring. For Minoru-san especially, but not just him."
The change from 'Fujiwara-san' to 'Minoru-san' didn't go unnoticed, but Sasuke chose not to comment. Instead, he said, "Yeah…I get it."
Sasuke didn't know what Naruto would do if the Fire Daimyo decided to execute Fujiwara. Probably something reckless.
"Chasing after a friend who defected from the village to join not one but two enemy organizations. Fighting for that friend's freedom even after he turned against the people of the Leaf and tried to destroy Konoha. Does that sound familiar?"
"Naruto and his pet lost causes," Sasuke muttered. He was staring blankly somewhere above Hinata's head, but her hand on his pulled him back to the present. Directing his gaze back to her, he found her smiling wryly up at him.
"Are you talking about yourself?" she asked, fingers playing softly against Sasuke's knuckles. "Or are you talking about me?"
Sasuke's eyes widened.
The sound of the river flowing seemed to grow louder in the absence of words.
"It's not the same," he said, when he was able to speak again.
"You're right," Hinata admitted freely. "Comparing my circumstances to yours or to Minoru-san's…the differences are too big. But…the title of 'lost cause', I think my clan would have agreed. Probably they still would. If Naruto-kun hadn't believe in me…I don't know where I would have ended up. So I hope that his belief in Minoru-san brings something good. I think Minoru-san could use something good in his life."
There it was, that almost reverent admiration in Hinata's voice when she spoke of Naruto.
It made sense. And Sasuke didn't know another person more deserving of it.
Yet something like unease settled over him.
"Naruto-kun never lost faith in you either, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke frowned, stepping away. "He should have."
"Sasuke-kun…"
"I know you think he can do no wrong, but he is capable of making mistakes." The words bubbled out of him. Ugly, insecure things from the dark recesses of his mind. "Blindly believing in things doesn't always work out for the best. I mean look at things between the two of you." Sasuke saw Hinata's expression fall, but couldn't seem to stop. "How many times has he made you cry? But you always forgive him —"
"Sasuke-kun, why are you —?"
"— And you always believe in him. I get it. I know how you feel about him. I've known that since the beginning. So…"
Shaking his head, Sasuke started to back up, but then Hinata stepped forward, closing the distance he'd put between them and then some. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, hands joining loosely behind his neck so that they were sharing the cover of his cloak.
"I'm glad he didn't give up on you." It was a soft confession, nearly lost in the crook of his neck.
Overwhelmed by the rush of warmth, Sasuke froze in Hinata's embrace.
"I'm glad...because I can't imagine not having you here. If Naruto-kun hadn't brought you back…I think I would have missed you, without even knowing it."
"Hinata…"
"Sasuke-kun…" Craning her neck back, Hinata managed to face him without breaking their little cocoon. The light of the rising sun reflected in her pearl eyes like a kaleidoscope and Sasuke was wonderstruck. "When I was trapped down there with Genji-san, I had a lot of things on my mind. But one of the most important ones…was you. I kept thinking 'this can't be it, I have to give Sasuke-kun my answer.' And I've been trying to find the right time ever since, but I still haven't told you…"
"Told me what?" Sasuke asked, a thread of desperation running through his voice.
Hinata bit her lip shyly and Sasuke felt like crawling out of his skin with anticipation. Finally, she said, "That I do want you. Like this." And with that she tilted her head up, soft lips pressing against his. She was already starting to retreat when Sasuke reacted, pressing back eagerly, his lips gliding over hers until the angle was just right, igniting a deeper passion into the kiss. Hinata gasped before sinking into his touch, her fingers burying themselves in Sasuke's hair. Untethered, Sasuke's cloak fluttered to the ground.
Time seemed suspended as they exchanged drawn out kisses. It was only when Hinata's responses turned sluggish that Sasuke finally pulled away. Hinata blinked up at him, confused.
"You should try to get a little more rest," Sasuke said, smoothing down her hair. His fingers paused at her temples. "And your seal is starting to show. You need to take care of it before anyone sees." Despite saying this, he made no move to escape her hold on him.
Hinata hummed, eyes closed and a look of contentment painted across her face. Sasuke brushed his lips against her forehead. He felt Hinata's fingers comb through his hair before skirting down to his shoulders where they squeezed gently before letting go.
Backing away from him, Hinata picked up his discarded cloak with an apology. As she passed it over, Sasuke caught her hand in his, causing her to look up at him once more.
"I don't want to imagine not being here," he told her. "The place that I want to be…is anywhere you are." Thick fabric separated their skin, but Sasuke's thumb found Hinata's wrist, the rhythm of her pulse now branded into his brain.
There were a thousand more things Sasuke wanted to say, but didn't have the words for. In Hinata's eyes, he thought he saw another thousand things, but, like him, she said no more. Instead, she smiled with so much emotion Sasuke felt it from the tips of his fingers down to his toes.
His face grew hot. Across from him, Hinata's cheeks were dusted with pink.
Loosening his grip on her hand, Sasuke was surprised when Hinata tightened hers in response. Hand in hand, they walked back to the camp together, only letting go so that Hinata could get back in her tent.
Settling down in front of the fire to continue his watch, it took a while for the heat to die down from Sasuke's face.
We're averaging like 1 kiss every ~20 chapters(_")
Thanks for reading and commenting everyone!
MVH