Affection and Resentment
Judy woke suddenly, lying in her bed early the following morning. A cold and eerie silence descended on the house since the previous day's events. Her eyes struggled momentarily to focus as a cold shiver fell over her body. Still lying on her bed, she shifted her attention to a small fire burning in the fireplace. Not sure how long she had been asleep, she curled her legs closer to her body as a few red embers illuminated from within the dying fire. She lay there, closing her eyes again, momentarily thinking of the prior day's events. About Mrs. Otterton and the comforting words she gave her as she was helped back to her room. Later that night, the pair had agreed the best thing at this troubling time was for her to simply remain there in the safety of her room. After helping Judy out of her dress and ensuring a healthy fire had been set, Mrs. Otterton withdrew herself so Judy could settle and perhaps have a restful sleep.
Judy slowly shifted on the bed, turning on her other side; she continued to think back on the troubling events. Needing some added warmth, she rose without opening her eyes and felt along the bed near her feet. Knowing where she always kept a spare flannel blanket folded on the bed, she slid her paw along the surface of the soft comforter until the tips of her fingers felt something out of place. Where there should have been flannel fabric, the unmistakable feeling of soft fur brought instant attention to Judy. Fear and shock exploding within her, she withdrew her paw back, her eyes shooting open as she clutched the large pillow she had been resting on. Her heart racing for a few seconds, she simply laid there, frozen, her legs tightly pressed to her body as she raised an ear to listen for any sounds other than her rapid breathing. Fighting the urge to leap from the bed, not knowing what was below her, she raised her head and peered along the end of the bed.
"Sophie?" Judy slowly released the pillow clutched in her arms as she continued to look down toward the end of the bed, a look of confusion replacing her fear. Careful not to disturb the curled-up form of the white fur vixen, Judy gently moved along the bed. Still asleep, Sophie appeared to have taken it upon herself to cover up with Judy's spare flannel blanket. Not knowing how or when the young vixen had come into her room, Judy simply brushed the top of Sophie's head between her ears. The young fox's fluffed tail slightly twitched at this before settling again beside her."She must have come in sometime during the night without anyone knowing."She thought to herself as she watched the sleeping fox."
Mindful not to wake her, crawling back to the head of the bed, Judy retrieved one of the large pillows and returned to Sophie with it. Carefully cradling Sophie's head, she gently slid the pillow under her. Next, positioning herself gently next to the vixen, she began to cuddle with her. Almost immediately, Judy felt an arm reach around her body, drawing her closer as Sophie's thick tail curled up around her in a warm embrace. Placing her head under the young fox's chin, Judy could feel the young vixen's heart beat rapidly against her body. With warmth flooding her body, Judy closed her eyes in the safety of Sophie's embrace; any fear of harm or loneliness seemed to melt away as peaceful sleep returned.
"Judy?" A soft voice whispered in the doe's ear a few hours later as a soft paw shook her along her lower leg. Opening her eyes, Judy found Tabitha, dressed in her morning attire, leaning over the bed as the young rabbit continued smiling at her. Judy struggled to stretch her arms and legs as she was still held by Sophie before noticing Mrs. Otterton also trying to wake the young vixen. Later that morning, after discussing some concerns further with Mrs. Otterton, Judy, not wishing to be the sight of gossip or pity from the other staff members any more than necessary, chose to spend the day in the safety of either her or Sophie's room.
"Do you need anything else before I go downstairs, Judy? Are you warm enough?" Tabitha asked as she gently finished putting the elegant wedding dress Judy had worn on its dress stand in the corner of the bedroom. Smoothing out a few noticeable creases from it, Tabitha walked over to Judy, who had been sitting next to the window gazing out of it. Walking over to the bed, she reached over, picked up Judy's nightgown, and draped it over her arm before looking back at Judy.
"I'm fine, Tabitha; I think I just need to be left alone for a while," Judy spoke softly after having made herself comfortable, now curled up in the armchair. A blanket draped over her lap, she turned her head to look at her friend with a weak smile. A new fire Judy had only noticed had been set in the small fireplace, making the room slightly warmer. "But thank you, you are a dear."
"I'll be sure to check back on you and the fire in a little while," Tabitha spoke as she walked over to the barely touched breakfast tray she had brought up earlier. "I'll also leave the tray here a little longer. Just in case you are still hungry for something." She turned to leave before turning back around to her friend. "Oh, Mrs. Otterton also wanted me to tell you that she will have Ms. Sophie in the library with her today. She'll make sure Sophie continues with her lessons for the day. Sophie will no doubt want to stop by later to see you." Judy, smiling from her seat at hearing this, said nothing. Simply pressing her head against the chair, she listened to the soft click of the door as Tabitha shut it behind her. Tabitha's prediction had proven to be correct within only a few hours. Sophie, permitted only by Mrs. Otterton to leave the confines of the library, made a mad dash along the corridor and to her room before lunch.
"But you looked so beautiful in that dress a few days ago, Ms. Hopps. Why not hold on to it with one or two others?" Sophie asked, perched on the edge of the bed, adjusting the hem of her dress. Judy, who had taken it upon herself to find something to do with her spare time, had decided to rethink the number of new dresses Nick had purchased. The young vixen watched as Judy continued sorting through several of them, giving her thoughts to them.
"I don't think it would be appropriate to keep any of them, Sophie." Judy turned her head back to look at her. She moved away from the full-length mirror next to her wardrobe cabinet. As she did this, she began folding it before placing it back in the box. Judy eyed several boxes that had arrived in the week leading up to the wedding.
A gentle knock on the bedroom door caused them to turn as a familiar voice called into the room. "Ms. Sophie?" Mrs. Otterton straightened the cap on her head as she eyed the young vixen. "You're late for your lunch, dear. Then it's back to your lessons." Mrs. Otterton extended her paw out. "You can return later this afternoon and spend more time with Miss Hopps if she is up to having any visitors. Now come along."
Sophie, a frown fixed on her face, slid down off the bed and walked over to the aged otter, her tail dragging heavily on the floor. Turning around, she quickly dashed to where Judy was and embraced her. "Love you, Ms. Hopps." Letting go of her, Sophie turned and walked over to Mrs. Otterton as they both left the room.
Watching the pair leave, Judy couldn't help but smile at the young vixen as she waved back to her. She turned, walked to the window, and gazed along the manor's lush lawn. Finding the need for fresh air and a chance to clear her mind, Judy went to her wardrobe and withdrew a heavy shawl from inside it. Wrapping it around herself, she took a moment to glance at herself in the mirror before crossing to the bedroom door. Opening it, she was unprepared for the sight that awaited her across from her doorway. Seated in a simple chair, Nick, his head resting to one side along the wall, yawned before noticing her sudden appearance. Jumping to his feet, he watched with betted breath as Judy, wordlessly, rushed past him and along the corridor.
"Judy, wait….please!" Nick called out to her as he struggled to catch up. "I'm sorry I deceived you. I was wrong." The pair reached the second-floor landing before Nick could reach out and grabbed her, turning her suddenly around to face him. "Tell me you still love me," Nick, sounding desperate, looked into her eyes. "Or was all of this simply a game to you?" Nick quickly released his grip on her.
Judy lowered her head, forcing herself to stare along the floor, desperate not to be drawn into looking into those emerald eyes she longed to see. "Do not say that, sir. I need to go," Judy lifted the hem of her dress as she stepped onto the staircase.
"Go, go where?" Nick moved around her, blocking her path. "Judy, please, listen to me. I would have done anything for you." Nick reached out and held her left paw in his own. "Anything for you to be with me! Can you not see that? I was willing to commit bigamy for us to be together!" His voice now shouting. "I was willing to sacrifice everything. My fortune, reputation; none of it mattered to me. All I wanted was to have someone like you in my life."
"Please, let me go." Judy pleaded to him, her body shaking with fear as she tried to escape Nick's grip.
"Not until you look at me, Judy. Look into my eyes and tell me you do not love me. Say it, and I will let you go." Nick, breathing fast, turned his head suddenly down the stairs, his mind racing. "No, wait, I have a better idea." He led her down the stairs hastily and across the foyer. Not stopping as they passed the kitchen entrance, he flew open the door leading into the house's grand ballroom and entered. "Here, right here." He stopped and positioned her beside the empty fireplace, flanked by the familiar two armchairs, and faced her again. "Where you poured your heart to me all those months before." He touched her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Tell me it was all a lie."
"I'm not the one who has lied here." Judy cried out as she took a few steps back. "I do not have some secret husband locked up somewhere, hidden from the world." She looked back at him, now in tears, as she struggled to control her emotions. "I have been truthful to you ever since arriving here."
"Judy, I..." Nick started to speak but faltered; he lowered his head in shame. "I wanted to tell you the truth but was scared of losing you. He looked up at her. "Just answer me this, Judy, truthfully. Do you not love me anymore? Give me your answer now, and I will leave you in peace.
Judy's lower lip began to tremble as she lowered herself to the edge of the armchair closest to her. "But that is just it," She closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "I do still love you, Nicholas. I wish nothing more than for time to be somehow turned back and for everything to return to the way it was before.
Nick felt his heart jump in his chest at these words. He moved closer to her, encouraged by this. "Nothing has changed, Judy." Nick gazed at her. "We are still the same in every way. The same mammals. The same love for one another." He knelt next to the chair she was occupying and covered her paws with his own. "I love you with all my heart, Judy. Nothing can be..."
"No," Judy leaped from the chair, pulling her paws out from him before turning her back on him. "Do not say those words to me. You have no right to say such things to me. You are not the same mammal I came to know and love." She let her emotions get the better of her; covering her face with her paws, she let out a muffled moan.
"What do you mean?" Nick began to examine himself, his arms held out before him. How am I not still the same fox you have loved? Is it not same body, same mind." He looked at her in confusion. "Nothing in me has changed since then, nor my love for you, Judy; how am I any different then–"
"You are a married mammal, Nicholas!" Judy turned and shouted these words back at him, tears pouring down her face. "Are you so blind you can't see it.
"But, I'm still me! I'm still the same fox you fell in love with!" Nick shouted back. "Can you not see that. I would have moved the world for us to be together."
"No, Nicholas." Judy raised her voice, the two of them gazing at one another. "While you may think you know who I am or my feelings, you are wrong, sir. Have you not thought for one second, Nicolas, what it feels like to be suffering the way I am?" As she continued, a look of loathing seemed to make its way on Judy's face. "Every fiber in my body wishes nothing but to be with you. To embrace you, feel the touch of your warm paws on my fur, or taste your lips on my own. But it can never be as it was, Nicolas.
"Then, we just leave, both of us, here today," Nick answered her in a desperate tone. "We can run away and start a new life somewhere far from here. No one will ever know."
"And what, live a lie?" Unable to believe he would even suggest such a thing, Judy looked at him in disbelief. "Where ever could we go if we did? How would we live? Just give up our friends and family; how could you ask me to do that?" She turned to walk away from him before stopping and turning around. "And what about Sophie? Did you forget about her, Nicholas, in your so-called plan?" She looked him dead in the eyes with these words. "Would you have left her here, all alone? Does she not mean anything to you anymore? Just another mammal thrown aside who no longer has any meaning or purpose to you."
Judy paused quickly, controlling her emotions further as she wiped the sides of her face. "No, Nicholas, I can see enough that nothing of what I've said to you was ever in your mind." With guilt, Nick remained silent as his gaze fell to the floor. "Look at me, Nicholas," Judy's voice echoed from the shout. Anger flooding over her, she stood there momentarily, unsure what to do or say next. Ultimately, not wishing to do anything she may regret, she simply turned around and left, leaving Nick in pure shock in the now-empty room.