TRIGGER WARNINGS!

This story contains mature and sensitive themes, such as: Emotional infidelity, character death, alcohol/substance abuse, implicit suicide attempt.

Please, read responsibly and consciously. For those who wish to proceed, please enjoy the story!

Makoto is foolish.

"Representing The Fool, Saint Francis of Assisi stripped himself of his wealth, only to live by the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Living as one who begged for alms himself, whenever he spotted another beggar dressed worse than him, Francis would strip himself of his own clothing to give it to the beggar."

[15 Years Ago]

Makoto was pretty sure that, several years from now, she would look back on this past year, and think of it as the most important year of her whole life.

The year where she finally changed from her shackled, foolish and restrained self.

And the year where she met her fellow Thieves, her dearest comrades. She knew with every fiber of her being, they would be friends for life.

More than that, Makoto now had goals, dreams and a purpose. She no longer has to thread a path laid out neatly for her, she was ready and eager to make these choices.

The future was bright, beautiful.

Hopeful.

…Now she just had to muster up the courage to confess her feelings to Ren-kun. In hindsight, it feels silly that she decided to leave this for the last minute, when they barely would have any time to spend together, if he accepted her feelings.

In a month, Ren-kun would leave for his hometown, and she would start university a few weeks after. But, she guessed better late than never applied here. She just couldn't keep that on her chest any longer.

With the carefully wrapped box of chocolates in her hands, Makoto walked across the alleyways and streets of Yongen-Jaya. The air was chilly, yet crispy and fresh. A lazy, nice Valentine's day morning. She soon approached Leblanc, her nerves starting to show. She slowed down, though, when she noticed the door sign pointed to "closed".

…Maybe Boss and Ren-kun weren't around?

Feeling a sense of uncomfortable dread overcoming her, Makoto forced herself to carefully approach the foggy windows of Leblanc. She used her gloved hands to clear the window of the thin layer of frost.

Seconds later, Makoto wished she didn't.

Inside, she could spy Ren-kun sitting on one of the booths, but he wasn't alone. Sumire was with him.

…And they were kissing.

A gasp was torn out from her lips against her will, which made her desperately cover her mouth to silence herself. In the process, she dropped the box of chocolates.

The commotion alerted the occupants. Makoto fled before they could see her.

Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes, the crimson irises shining with a powerful emotion. Makoto kept walking away, trying to find an inconspicuous alleyway to duck into and allow herself a pause to mourn her situation.

She lost her chance. She was too late.

Makoto was a fool.

[The Present Day]

"So… Sorry for asking everyone here on such short notice!" The chipper voice of his wife echoed in the crowded and yet cozy café. "But since I knew we have been wanting to get together for awhile now, I thought I could kill a bird with two stones and celebrate a very special milestone!"

Ren smiled fondly at her.

All their friends and family were there. Boss looked much older, but no less joyful. He absolutely loved spending time with his dad, especially in the company of their wonderful makeshift family.

Haru and Yusuke, the regal couple, cozied up together, with their adorable five year old daughter Reika sitting between them. Morgana sat proudly on Haru's lap, the little fella looking fat and absolutely spoiled. He had his eyes closed as little Rei-chan petted her beloved Mona-chan.

His best friends Ann and Ryuji were right next to the other couple, holding hands as if they were still high school sweethearts. Ann had a bright and happy smile on her face, while Ryuji held a cheeky grin.

Even Sae, Maruki and their ten year old, Yukino, were present. Sae had mellowed out throughout the years, both through pain and joy, while Maruki also seemed happier and more content in life. Marriage and fatherhood have done him wonders.

Yukino looked painfully similar to her aunt, or what a child of hers would look like. He tried to not think about the ache that made him feel for a second.

His gremlin sister was a bit more distant from the rest of the group, looking a little bored and perhaps even irritated. Futaba had matured and grown all these years, but sometimes it was like she regressed. He was constantly there for her, and he knew it helped, but some things never healed.

He knew she took her absence the hardest.

Ren clenched his fist.

He decided to focus on his wife's announcement. There was nothing he could do about that now.

"Ooh, an announcement?" Ann asked excitedly.

"Yup!" Sumire replied cheerfully.

The others had curious and speculative faces of anticipation. Nobody said anything, waiting for Sumire's announcement.

Yukino, bless her soul, got impatient with the unnecessary suspense. "Soo are you finally going to be parents, uncle Ren?"

"Yukino!" Sae hissed in sharp reprimand, while Maruki grimaced at his daughter's blunt question.

Ren felt more than saw his wife stiffen beside him. He sighed.

"I'm afraid not, Yunchan." He told her, his smile strained.

She cocked her head curiously, then shrugged. "Oh. Okay."

Ren saw Futaba perk up, and look him in the eye, a questioning eyebrow leveled at him. He shook his head negatively. His sister pursed her lips, then returned to mess with her phone.

His wife cleared her throat and laughed nervously. "I'm sorry to disappoint, it's not that, um… Well, maybe it's not as exciting, but I'm finally retiring from competitive gymnastics, and becoming a coach instead!"

"That's great news, congrats Sumi-chan!" Ryuji hyped her up, sending her a cheerful thumbs up. Beside him, his top model wife cheered as well.

"That sounds amazing! But I'm curious, do gymnasts really retire this young?" Ann asked her.

Sumire nodded. "In all honesty, I'm retiring a bit later than most do. Usually we retire much earlier because it's a very physically straining and highly competitive field, and once you hit a certain age, it takes a toll on your body. Staying for much longer would give me diminishing returns, so that is why I'm switching to coaching!" She said happily.

"That sounds very exciting Sumi-chan, I'm happy for you!" Haru told her sincerely.

Everyone else congratulated his wife for her new career shift. Ren let himself bask on the good and relaxing atmosphere of spending time with his friends and family.

He wondered what she would think of this.

Pursing his lips and realizing he did it again, Ren sighed, annoyed and disappointed with himself.

"Are you alright?" His wife asked, her face full of concern. He squeezed her hand and gave her a loving smile back.

"Yes, don't worry. Just tired, I guess."

"Oh, alright. Maybe we could go home soon, if you want it?"

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea."

Sumi smiled at him.

Ren's life was perfect. He had an amazing, beautiful and talented wife. They lived in a nice, comfortable house. He had a supportive family and incredible friends. He had a fulfilling job as prime minister Yoshida's assistant and speechwriter.

For all intents and purposes, he had everything he could ever want and more.

…And yet, Yukino's question haunted Ren for the rest of the day.

He was enjoying a nice, crispy breeze in the veranda of his home with his Sumi. He hugged his wife from behind, slotting his chin between her neck and shoulders.

"You know, I was thinking about Yunchan's question earlier…" He started.

His wife tensed in his arms.

He continued. "Now that you're retiring, things are calming down a little… Maybe we can revisit the topic of expanding our little family?"

He made sure his tone was loving and playful. He knew the subject was a little intimidating, but he felt like it was time to discuss it again.

"Ren…" She started. With that tone.

The one that he hated.

She extricated herself from him and faced him sternly. "It's still too early for that."

He sighed. "Sumi…"

"Look, I still have to transition to my new career. I don't think now is the time."

Ren tried, but his frustration couldn't be kept bottled up any longer.

"When will it ever be!?" He asked, voice hurt and frustrated.

"When I'm ready. Which is not now." She told him firmly.

Then, she gave him her back, and swiftly got inside, looking for her purse.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked.

"To my parent's house. I need some space."

"Sumi- hey, wait!"

She didn't wait at all, and left him alone to seethe in their empty house.

He heard rumors at the office a couple of weeks ago.

Apparently, there was a help hotline that was growing very popular with the troubled youth. A peculiar, unorthodox hotline called The Confessional.

They had a weird roleplay thing going on where their operators acted as makeshift religious priests and priestesses to hear out your sordid confessions, fears and sins. It was honestly an entirely ridiculous notion for the average citizen to go through with.

And yet… Ren once had his confidants. He loved listening to others, giving his perspective and eventually helping them flourish. To think that he was the one now succumbing to the other side of the experience was hilarious, though, but he needed to vent.

What he wanted to say couldn't be overheard by anyone he knew directly. It would destroy his entire family dynamic.

"You have called The Confessional, a hotline for those who wish to unburden their souls and get things off their chests." A feminine voice droned out in an overly pleasant, politely robotic tone. It was likely a pre-recording. "To maintain your privacy, please be mindful of sharing any identifying personal details with our operators. We will connect you to one of our fellow priests and priestesses to listen to your troubles in a moment, so please, stay in line!"

With a sense of anxious anticipation, Ren waited for the hotline to transfer to one of their human operators. Should he really go for it? He was usually the one being confided in, not the other way around.

Before he could change his mind, he heard a beep, and then…

"Thanks for reaching out to The Confessional." A melodiously nostalgic, feminine voice echoed pleasantly in his ears. "My name is Hanna, and I will be your personal priestess today."

Ren felt his heart stop for a minute. That voice…

He stayed frozen.

"Hello?" The 'priestess' inquired when he didn't answer.

…No. It couldn't be. Maybe he was just imagining things.

"Uh, Hi…" He blurted out, unsure of what he should say but making himself go forward with this foolishness. He breathed out deeply. "Sorry, I'm a little out of my depth now."

"Hey, no worries at all. Take your time, I'm here for you." Hanna responded kindly.

He nodded, but then facepalmed as he realized the other person couldn't see his reactions. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Said Hanna, voice warm and nurturing, like the sun, comforting Ren.

After he felt a little less on edge, he decided to barge in and just let it out.

"I think I'm starting to resent my life."

"I'm really sorry to hear that. Why is that?"

He winced, unsure of how to even begin to elaborate on his problems. "It's… Complicated."

"Why don't you tell me more? I'm here for your troubles."

He ran a hand through his fluffy hair. "I guess I should start from the beginning. Basically… I have the perfect life. My wife is gorgeous, talented and successful. My family is wonderful too, I have a little sister to dote on and a father to spend my time with on the weekends, cooking together. And of course, I have the most amazing, best friends in the entire world. My job is incredibly fulfilling." He paused to recuperate his faltering voice. Then continued. "Honestly… I am beyond fortunate. I have no reason to complain about anything. And yet…"

He trailed off, and spent some time thinking, saying nothing. Hanna was likely patiently waiting for him to finish his tirade. Ren sighed as he removed his glasses and just decided to say it out loud.

"I feel unhappy, empty, and a little lost."

He heard her hum to herself.

"I understand. I'm so sorry you feel that way. Is there a situation in particular that evokes such feelings, or ist it just a general, vague sense of unhappiness?" She asked.

Ren closed his eyes and leaned his back against the wall. "I guess it's a mix of both. There are so many things…"

"Hmm, why don't we pick apart these things, one by one?"

"Okay. I guess I can start with my home life… There is a topic that recently has put a strain on my otherwise perfect marriage."

"How so?" Hanna gently prodded.

"Now that my wife has retired from her physically demanding career as an athlete, I was hopeful that we could finally try to expand our little family. I'm ready to be a father, but… My wife doesn't seem to want to. Every time I bring up the subject of the future and building a family, she always shifts the conversation in another direction."

"How does that make you feel?"

"...Sad. And a bit angry."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Mostly because of the way she frames things when I try to talk about it. It's almost like she thinks I'm being selfish when I bring the subject up. It drives me mad because the entire time we have been together, I have been nothing but supportive, understanding and patient, always putting her career, her goals, her happiness first."

"Did she ever give you her full perspective on the subject?"

"We had both discussed having kids multiple times, even before we got married. She seemed excited back then. I don't know what happened along the way, but I feel like she is repulsed by the idea of having children now. Other than that, she always tries to evade the conversation. It's almost like she is afraid of telling me what she really wants, maybe for fear of me leaving her."

"And would you?"

A tense pause.

He swallowed dryly. "Would I what?"

"Leave her."

He stayed quiet for a moment. Then-

"Can I tell you the truth?"

Hanna's voice was divine absolution. "Whatever you need to get off your chest."

"Yes… I think so."

Another heavy, poignant silence.

"Does that make me sound selfish?" He asked, his heart full of doubts.

"I don't know your full story. But I am here so you may unload the things weighing down your heart, no matter how dark they may sound to your own ears."

He shuddered out a breath of relief.

"I feel like a bastard for thinking of leaving her over this, though. This is her body, her choice. She has a right to not want kids. But I can't help but think… Where does that leave me?"

"Is having kids an important need for you?" Hanna questioned gently.

"Yes." He said without hesitation.

"Why is that?"

"I am a single child, but I always wanted a big family. My biological family abandoned me out of shame after a troubled situation in my youth. I do have a family now, but they are a family of choice, my adopted sister and father."

"That's wonderful. Finding people like that in your life is something to be greatly cherished." Hanna spoke sincerely with her wonderful voice.

"Absolutely. I love them all greatly… But my wife seems intimidated at the prospect of expanding our little family." He concluded sadly.

"I don't feel like either of you are wrong in your feelings, and this might just be a compatibility issue. Do you love your wife more than the idea of kids? Or is not having kids a complete dealbreaker for you? Take some time and evaluate these questions."

"I know. I don't wish to be selfish, I love her and I still want our marriage to continue working but… I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Maybe one day I can let go of this dream, perhaps I am being foolish and self-centered after all." He told her self deprecatingly.

"You are not. Children are wonderful gifts. Being a parent is the most magical yet challenging adventure in the world, but it's not certainly for everyone." Hanna told him wisely.

He found himself smiling against his will. "You sound like someone with experience."

She laughed. A beautiful, sincere one.

"You could say that." She told him with pride.

"That sounds beautiful…" He told her.

"It is. But still, we're here for your troubles. Is there anything else in your life that may have been troubling you?"

"Maybe. I don't know. The next big one is a huge can of worms. I'm not ready to even open it up."

"Why is that?"

He sighed heavily. "Hurts too much to think about."

"I'm truly sorry to hear that." She told him in what sounded like deep empathy.

Ren looked at the time, realizing it was late. He should get to sleep so he wouldn't be late to work tomorrow. Where was Morgana when you needed him to remind you of your bedtime?

"Hey, I do need to get going but… Thank you so much Hanna. Telling you all of this helped… You have no idea how much." He told her sincerely.

She chuckled melodiously, giving him comfort and warmth with the tone of her wonderful voice. "The Confessional is here for you. If you ever need to get more off your chest, we're just one call away. Have a wonderful evening, my dear confessor."

"Sweet dreams, Hanna." He told her back.

He hung up the call.

To be continued…