Chapter 6(?): The Throwdown before the REAL throwdown!
Mario, Luigi and Cory I guess, were still bloodied and bruised from their last battle with…honestly, I can't recall who it was. But whoever it was, I'm sure it was important!
"T'ho umm," Cory stammered. "I-I gueth thi'th make'th me part of the th'uper Mario Bro'th, right?"
"Bro, I don't think the reader and I have the attention span to li'then to hi'th lisp any longer." Said Luigi. "Also, his inclusion feels really forced, like an inside joke no one asked for."
Mario thought about it. "But umm, didn't he help us last chapter?"
"Did he though?" Luigi asked.
"Umm, not to be rude, dude'th, but I'm th'tanding right here." Cory th'aid next to them.
"See what I mean? Also, isn't he ranked with us now? How does that work?" Luigi out here asking the REAL questions.
And since neither of them could think of a sufficient reason to keep him around, they decided that killing him was the most sensible solution. It would be a mercy killing as I'm sure this Cory didn't like being written as a one-note joke.
However, during all of this, Ace Window stuck in a preview of his upcoming Fanficion. Jujutsu Kaisen X Samurai Jack. Please enjoy.
After walking home from his part time job, itadori yuji, now age 16, was ready for his day to be over with. It's not that he hated working, not at all, he found himself enjoying the work and the pay was quite nice, but he just didn't want to have to go to school tomorrow. He was so close to the end of the year, he couldn't stand it. He wanted to relax, not go to class, and do his homework when he was actually interested in it, and not be forced to do it in a time crunch, all while also trying to keep his grades up and maintain his good attendance.
He could feel a migraine forming just thinking about it.
As he was walking up the stairs of the subway, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his phone and swiped to unlock. The screen lit up, revealing a text from his friend kugisaki.
Kugisaki: Hey! Where are you?
Yuji: Just got off the train, why?
Kugisaki: Can we meet up? I'm bored and there's a new cafe that opened near my house and I wanted to try it out.
Yuji: K
Yuji sighed as he locked his phone. He had hoped to get home early today, but he couldn't say no to her. She rarely asked him to hang out with her anymore. They had gone to different schools a year ago, so their only interactions were usually during lunch, which was fine, but he had missed her.
She had been his first real friend in high school, and had stuck by his side until she left. Now he only saw her during breaks or lunch, and sometimes they'd have class together, but they weren't in the same grade anymore, so they didn't have as much time to talk as before.
So when she asked him to hang out, he had to take the opportunity.
He made his way back through the train station, heading towards the exit. When he got outside, he walked over to the cafe. But it wasn't Kugisaki waiting for him.
Instead, there was a man. A very attractive man, if he were honest. He wore a white robe, his hair in a topknot and held his sword with Japanese pride.
The man looked over at Yuji. "Itadori Yuji?"
"Um... yes? Who are you?" Yuji asked, confused.
"I'm Samurai Jack. But you can call me Jack. Sorry to have spoofed your lesbian friends phone. I really needed to talk to you." Jack explained.
"You hacked my friends phone?! What the hell?!" Yuji said, his confusion growing.
"Sorry. I had to." Jack replied.
"Okay... then why are you here?" Yuji asked, now suspicious.
"I need you."
Yuji blushed, "Oh, um... what?"
"Your cursed energy. I'm not into the gay like you are. Sorry to disappoint. But that black flash or what ever of yours. It's really strong. It took out that Sukuna guy or what ever. Maybe, if we go back to the Future and not the past, perhaps we can take down Aku together." Jack rambled, not noticing Yuji's reddened cheeks.
"Cursed energy? You mean the flashbang? That was a fluke." Yuji stammered.
"No, I've seen you use it a few times. It's always been powerful. Like, the more you're around me, the stronger you get. It's almost like you're absorbing my cursed energy. But I've never heard of someone being able to do that. Have you?" Jack asked.
"Um... are you a pedophile?." Yuji asked.
Jack blinked. "What's a pedo... peder..."
"You know... a grown man, wanting to be REALLY GOOD friends with a kid?" Yuji asked.
Jack blinked again, and then blushed. "No! No. I'm not a pedophile. And I'm not old, either."
"You're a samurai." Yuji said.
"Well, yeah. But I'm not old. I'm only, what, twenty two, three, four?" Jack said.
Yuji googled it. "Twenty one."
"Yeah, that." Said Jack.
"And you're asking a sixteen year old to go to the future, where we'll fight a demon named Aku…. How are you not a pedophile." Yuji said applying Twitter, erm I mean X, logic.
"I'm not." Jack said sternly, ready to move the plot along.
"Right..." "Yuji said.
"Are you coming or not? We need to hurry. I think that guy's going to find us." Jack said.
"That guy... you mean... Aku?!" Yuji gasped.
To be continued in my upcoming story. Stick around! Now back to our show!
"WHAT THE FUCK, GUY'TH!? THI'TH I'TH TH'O TH'TUPID." He cried. Do you even know what I was going for there?
Suddenly, there was an announcement on the megaphone. "Congratulations, Hunters! I didn't know you had it in you to ruthlessly slaughter an innocent child, but you managed to take out our secret Rank 3 operative! I guess I probably shouldn't have mentioned it last chapter, but it's too late to change course now! Now, await further instructions."
"Serves him right!" Luigi said callously. "Hunters show no mercy."
Our plumber hunters used this down time to lick their wounds, so to speak. They had little to no medical experience or first aid tools to help them, so they made due with whatever was nearby. In fact, they even went so far as to take it upon themselves to tear off pieces of Cory's clothing and use them as makeshift rags and bandages.
"Well, at least he was useful for something after all, huh?" Luigi grinned.
"Bro, what did you have against him?" Mario spoke concernedly. "He was just a child!"
"I-I'mma sorry, bro!" Luigi broke down. "This is what war does to a plumber! I wish I was as headstrong as you, but I haven't experienced as much loss on the battlefield as you have. I don't know how you deal with the trauma!"
Mario smirked and said, "The difference between us? Peach bakes ME the cake."
Luigi no longer looked distraught and let out a goofy laugh like the kind a dad would do. "Man, if only Daisy were still alive to make me one…But even then, I doubt it."
"C'mon, Luigi." Mario appealed to him. "The least we can do is give this fallen warrior a proper burial. It's only fitting after helping us."
But just as they were about to start digging a shallow grave, their phones went off. "SORRY, we had to take a quick piss break. Rank 2 is arriving right no-"
BUT before they could even finish their ominous warning, the two brothers were attacked by the speedy blue blur himself!
"N-No, it can't be!" Mario said, but it was him!
"Heh, you're too slow, as usual, Mario!" Sonic spoke.
"But why!?" Mario said demanding answers. "We go to the olympics together every few years!"
"I guess you always were slow, but I guess I can catch you up to speed." Sonic explained. "Sorry, I've got a few more fast puns coming at you quickly! The reason I attended Smash Bros., and the olympic games, is the same reason I'm here now to finish this. I only got close to you so I could study your techniques, and exploit your weaknesses. It's called strategy, my boy, read a book sometime!"
"So, youa used us." Luigi chimed in.
"B-I-N-G-O! Whoa, check out the brains on big Green! Couldn't have said it better myself!" Sonic then spammed his infamous Brawl taunt, and no, I'm not going to write it here.
"Answer me this, you oversized rat with shoes." Mario said cooly. "Was it worth throwing away all those precious memories all for some fancy number in an organization? What does the Hunter Exam mean to you?"
Sonic stopped for a second, which is rare for someone as fast as him. "Okay, first of all, it's not called that. And for another thing, don't you dare try and pretend like you know what you put me through. How long, how long have I stood in your Shadow? When people think of gaming's greatest mascots, they always bring up you, so why? Why was I discarded and cast aside, save for terrible deviantart recolors? Is that it, Mario? AM I JUST ONE BIG JOKE TO YOU?"
"To be fair, the Dreamcast controller was really hard to use." Mario said as if the N64 controller faired much better. "But tell me, who IS the Rank 1 Hunter and why would you work for him?"
Sonic looked really angry when he was asked that. "That's enough out of you two. I came to do a job, and I intend to collect. I don't like keeping my employer waiting, so let's settle this!"
Mario and Luigi, still tired from their last fight, weren't in a position to put up much resistance. So in an act of desperation, Mario tried to talk-no-jutsu Sonic. "Together, the three of us can overpower whoever it is you're working for. Please, I'm tired of the senseless day to day combat."
"Too bad, mustache man!" Sonic said while kicking him into a nearby mountain, I don't know where I'm setting this fight. "If you want more information, you're gonna have to beat it out of me!"
And so, an epic battle ensued! Mario and Luigi did their signature moves from Brothership, which is a game I haven't played yet, and it was working. Sonic had superior speed, but in terms of raw strength, the two brothers were more than capable of overpowering him. Whenever one was being targeted, the other would feign an attack via a zanzoken which through him off. However, even this was not enough as they couldn't wear him down enough with their limited nen reserves.
"T-That all you got?" Said Sonic. "So much for being Rank 3 hunters. Now, let's end this!"
However, it was then that Mario realized how Sonic was moving so fast. "Luigi, look closely at his right hand! Use Gyo!"
"Wha? But why does he have that?" Luigi said confused.
"What are you two yapping about now?" Sonic taunted, no, not that kind. "C'mon, I don't wanna be late!"
Just then, the two brothers devised a strategy in which Luigi would use the taiyoken to blind Sonic while Mario snatched the chaos emerald that was in Sonic's glove.
"Just what I thought, you were using this chaos emerald to induce chaos control!" Mario concluded. "You always were one for flashy tricks, now try this one for size. Luigi, now!"
Luigi, reading the situation, nodded. "Here'uh we go! Chaos unison!"
In a blinding light, the two fused into Maruigi, a being made of pure chaos energy. "We can only sustain this form for a few seconds with the coins we have, so let's end this."
Sonic, now scared, pleaded, "N-No, wait! I-I'll tell you everyth-"
But our fused plumber impaled Sonic through the heart with a scythe made of ki. "Sorry, Sonic. This time, YOU were too slow." They said, and defused.
Sonic was coughing out vials of blood. "Drat! Double drat! I'm sorry, Knuckles. Now I can never cure you. Forgive me…" Then he died.
"Wait, what?" Mario said. "Who is behind this?"
But Sonic was too busy being dead to respond, however, Knuckles flew in to explain the whole mishap. "Sonic! Oh shit, so I'm too late. Well, if you must know…Sonic was working for Rank 1, Dr. Ivo Robotnik, otherwise known as the Eggman."
Luigi didn't understand. "But I don't get it, wasn't Eggman his arch nemesis? So why would he be helping him?"
Knuckles explained, "Y'see, after I failed to guard the master emerald all those years back, my life span started to deplete rapidly. Eggman offered a way to cure me, but he said he'd require the 7 chaos emeralds to make it happen. So he blackmailed Sonic into collecting them for him, and in return, Eggman promised to help me."
"So, that's it, then? This is all one big game for Robotnik?" Mario shook his clenched fist angrily.
"No, there…is another. The TRUE ring leader is one with no rank…" Knuckles said.
"Well, out with it, you red furry freak!" Luigi snapped.
"His name is Map-"
But then, Dr. Eggman broke into the cavern they were staying in. "That's enough out of you, echidna, unless you want me to save you the time and kill you right here!"
Eggman also brought with him Tails Miles Prower as a bargaining hostage. "You, tailed boy! Go over there and patch up the fat man's arm. I do believe they've ascended to Rank 2, so I need my new henchmen in peak condition!"
Tails awkwardly flew over to Mario's now limp arm and began to work on it. However, the amputation process was too much for him to bear. The amount of blood loss took it's toll on him.
"Well, if you survive this process, I'll be glad to make you two my honorary replacement for that pesky hedgehog." Eggman laughed ruthlessly. "See ya around, 'heroes'!"
Mario grabbed where his arm once was, falling over in pain. Sonic's body laid dead on the ground. Luigi couldn't help but to tear yup in panic at what they had done. Sylvia stood there, as if she was waiting for something.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Mario yelled, feeling himself slipping away.
"M-Mario..." Luigi whimpered, looking down at his brother. "If this is what being rank 1 is going to cost us... I don't think I want that title at all."
"It's okay, Luigi," he said, smiling up at him. "You can save them..."
"I-I can?"
"Yes, I'm sure you can," he reassured, his smile fading. "... But we all know this wasn't a one time thing. If Eggman can't defeat us, then he'll destroy our friends and loved ones... and he'll come back, again and again."
"I... I can't do it..."
"But you have to," he smiled. "... I believe in you."
Luigi began to tear up, and he hugged his brother.
"I love you, brother," Mario said.
"I-I love you too," Luigi cried, as Mario went limp.
Luigi let him go and sat there for a few moments. He stood up, wiping his tears.
He turned to look at Sonic's lifeless body, and picked it up.
He looked back at the two men, and nodded his head.
"You have the power of the chaos emeralds and the master emerald inside you Luigi," Knuckles reminded him, his voice weak. "You can bring him back... if you really want to."
"But... how?" Luigi asked, looking down at Sonic's body.
"Chaos control," he said, and he collapsed. His soul seemingly projected in the sky like in Jojo, indicating that he had passed on to the afterlife.
"K-Knuckles?" Luigi called, and then noticed him breathing. "Oh, thank god, you're okay." he said in denial.
Luigi looked down at Sonic, and held him close to his chest.
"Chaos control!" Luigi shouted, closing his eyes.
The world felt as if it had come to a complete stop. Everything was completely still. Even the snow stopped falling, and Luigi was floating in midair. He looked around in confusion.
"Where am I?" he asked himself, and suddenly Sonic's body began to glow.
"Ah!" Luigi yelled, as Sonic's body began to slowly rise from his hands.
Sonic was floating in the air, his eyes closed. They slowly opened, revealing dark holes of what was once his eyes.
"Mama fucker!" Mario said as his arm grew back from Tail's experiment with his DNA. "It's fucking ! Luigi! What the fuck?"
"Oh my fucking god!" Luigi yelled, dropping him.
"What the fuck did you do?" Mario yelled.
"I-I-I was just trying to save him, that's all," Luigi said, holding up his hands.
"Well, now you've gone and killed us all, and made him even worse," Mario said, looking around. But he had an idea.
"Luigi, I've got an idea," Mario said. "Get me close to him, and I'll suck him into the mushroom realm."
"O-okay," Luigi said, and ran toward the shadow.
"Luigi, no, stay behind me," Mario ordered. "You're still my little brother, and I won't have you getting hurt."
"Okay, big bro," Luigi said, backing off.
"Sonic, get in the mushroom kingdom," Mario ordered.
"No, no, no," Sonic said, laughing. "I don't wanna go in there. You can't make me."
"Fine, I'll do this the hard way," Mario said, running at Sonic.
Sonic laughed, and Mario was thrown back into a wall.
"Now, who's going to save your friends, hmm?" Sonic asked, as he walked toward them.
"I'll just take your body, Mario," Sonic said. "That way, I can make you watch as I kill everyone."
"No!" Luigi yelled.
"Shut the fuck up, Luigi," Mario said. "Get back to the castle."
"B-but..."
"Luigi, do it!" Mario demanded. "Go, now!"
Luigi nodded and ran.
Mario got to his feet and glared at Sonic.
"Come on, Mario," Sonic smirked. "I dare you to try."
Mario glared at Sonic.
"You have to use a move that only a hero can," Mario said. "Something I could never pull off."
"And what might that be?" Sonic asked.
"Mushroom control," Mario said.
"I thought so," Sonic laughed, charging at him.
Mario jumped out of the way, and threw a fireball.
Sonic laughed, and charged again.
"Mushroom control," Mario repeated, as a portal appeared.
"Good luck trying to get me to go through," Sonic said, smirking.
"No problem," Mario said, pushing him toward the portal.
"Fuck," Sonic cursed, falling into the portal.
"See you soon," Mario said, waving. He grabbed his crotch and flipped off Sonic as he swirled into the Mushroom Zone as if he were a turd in a toilet. "See ya real fucking soon."
Sylvia walked over to Mario as Luigi followed behind.
"Congratulations! You both are now ranked 2nd by the VGA!" Sylvia smiled.
…"Second? That blue fairy ass hedgehog was 1 right?" Mario said having not paid attention earlier.
"Correct. Rather, Wrong. You see, I lied. Sonic was never number one. I just wanted to see a good fight! And it was so-so. Number one ranked is actually…" Sylvia's mouth filled with blood as her throat was slashed open.
"Oh fuck." Luigi said "No fucking way it's… it's you? But how?"
A small white mouse dressed in a police uniform smirked. "What? You thought good ole' Mappy was helpin' you out earlier for nuthin? Nah I was just tryna weaken ya two. Know what I mean?"
"You rat!" Shouted Mario.
"I'm not a rat, I'm a mouse." Said Mappy, pulling out his pistols charged with Flames of Will.
Mario and Luigi, with what little energy they had left, took a battle stance. With one mushroom remaining, they split it into two and each consumed their half.
"Let's go." Said Mario.
"Okie Dokie" Said Luigi
To be continued in the FINALE CHAPTER!