Minor spoiler warning as this takes place at the end of volume 14, but changes the original ending. It also makes references to parts of the story between volumes 12-14 as well as the Yukino anthology. In addition, I have changed various things from canon so if something is different, it is canon to this story.

Description:

Their final year at Sobu High, Hachiman and Yukino prepare to face the challenges that lay before them. With the service club disbanded, they could now live out the rest of their high school lives in relative peace, but it seems the new year won't be so easy for Hachiman now that Komachi is a first-year at Sobu. What will happen to the service club? What do Yukino's parents think? Will Hachiman and Yukino get to make up for lost time?

Making up for lost time

- Prologue -
~ My youth romantic comedy is wrong, as I expected ~

The spring weather was not so kind to us as we settled in for another day of work. As I shuffled through the stack of documents in front of me, I was on the verge of melting thanks to the team effort between the sun and the community center's broken AC unit. I'm certain given the conditions, it was possible to cook a nice cut of A5 wagyu beef off the top of my head…

We were only a few hours into working on the joint prom when my mind began to wander and question why I haven't given up and gone home yet. Perhaps it was my stubbornness that was keeping me in the chair, but it was nearly impossible to refocus my mind back to the document in front of me. A bitter smile rose from the edges of my lips as I saw the reason in front of me.

It was Yukinoshita Yukino.

Her hair was tied up in the back to keep her head cool, but it was completely ruffled with rogue strands sticking up here and there. With her computer glasses still on, she faceplanted into her hands as if to say, Ah, I'm surely going to die. This is it for me. Although, that was too much of a depressing thought for me, so I quietly sent a prayer over in hopes that she would perk up.

Thankfully, the others in the room also noticed her weary state and periodically dropped off care packages in the form of chocolate, water, and snacks packed with protein and sugar. Sometimes, Isshiki or Yuigahama would drop by and take some of her work, to which I would give a thankful nod. It was all well and good, but this wasn't the real reason why I was distracted. Rather, it was the state of our relationship that was occupying my thoughts.

Isshiki had started a bad habit of smirking at me shortly after we returned from our meeting with Kaihin over the budget. It was clearly obvious to Isshiki that something happened, so she had confronted us about it.

"What exactly is your relationship?"

We had been asked such a simple question, yet we stumbled over it like trying to answer the secrets of the universe. Truth be told, she was right to question us. The two of us danced around the issue for weeks now, involving not only her but others as well. She wasn't pleased with our answer, of course. After hearing what she had to say, I too wasn't happy with it. I began to see that something was wrong, despite all my efforts the other night. Her words struck deep within my being.

"I think the two of you should be clear with each other."

I've always been on the search for truth, as much as anyone else. There are times when you have a revelation, a thought goes off in your head like a sudden realization, and you know—This is the truth. Ever since that night, we hadn't been clear with each other. Words were said, and actions were taken. Slowly but surely, the two of us were moving towards the same goal—that's what I believed. However, boundaries were not set, and nothing was defined.

It was not hard to imagine that this simple truth was the reason why we were so hesitant around each other. For example, every moment outside of mundane conversation or business-like discussion. They could be described by many words in the dictionary, words such as timidness, awkwardness, or even fear.

When the two of us happen to sit together, when our eyes meet, or when the group conversation turns to matters of love, freezing up and blushing became routine for Yukinoshita. But it was the same for me, as I wouldn't know what to say or how to act. So, we continued in this revolving door of keeping silent and brushing it off. Perhaps when the prom is over, the issue will resolve itself one way or the other, or maybe given enough time we will come to an understanding. However, I'm not really certain.

Still, I wonder—what was the meaning to the words we shared? When I asked her to let me mess up her life, and she asked me to give her my life in return. What exactly did we promise each other, and what do we call that relationship? That was the question put forth, yet we had not come up with an answer.

My mind wanders back to the present, the heat of the room and the heat generating from my head came together in a perfect storm. If I keep thinking about this any further, I was certainly going to explode and die. And people die when they explode. So I decided to take action once again, rose from my chair, and did my best to quell the rising heat.

"Why don't we take a break somewhere cool?"

Everyone in the room was excited, as expected. They all dropped everything in their hands, causing Yukinoshita to worry about not getting any work done. I managed to convince her that taking a break now was the best course of action. After all, it wouldn't do us any good if she dropped on the spot from overexertion.

After getting dinner at a local restaurant, we all dropped by the beach to take in the cool ocean breeze and gaze at the light polluted night sky. As any night in a city such as Chiba, only a few stars were visible, but I was thankful that the most important one was shining the brightest.

~ x ~

I wonder why I got myself into this mess, but as the saying goes, you reap what you sow. There are things we have to live with, our decisions, our regrets, our passions that turn us into fools. So that's why there's no reason to complain now, no reason to give up, and no reason to run away. I'm going to have to live with tonight no matter what happens, so I looked over the suit in front of me and brushed my fingertips across it.

I hope it's the right size…

This wasn't my suit. If I was going to follow the hierarchy of ownership, this was actually Yukinoshita's. But for tonight, she had given it to me to wear on the floor. I'm not sure how exactly she procured it, but if I were a betting man, I'd say I have to make sure it gets back to the owner in good condition…

On the clothes rack contained the full ensemble: dress shoes, dress slacks, a white shirt, a black bow-tie, a black vest, and a tuxedo. The material was good—in fact, it really blew my mind how good it felt to the touch. I've had my run ins with suits before, but this was way beyond anything I have ever worn in my life. It was like the kind of suit I would imagine James Bond would wear, although it's not like I'm going to encounter any kind of Bond villain at a high school prom, so it really felt over the top.

I'm reminded again about the difference between our social statuses, and it seems like the already massive gap between her and I became that much wider. Even so, I put the suit on piece by piece, until everything is where I'm sure it should be.

Hm… This fits a little better than I thought… Am I the same size as her dad, or is this an old one?

This isn't some kind of joke where I'm exactly like her dad, right? If Yukinoshita actually said something like, "Hikigaya-kun, you remind me of my father," I wouldn't know how to handle that… So, I'm like a father to you? Weird… There's no way, right? Her dad shouldn't be anything like me. After all, her dad should be really intense and much bigger than me, right…?

Even so, looking into the mirror, it wasn't half bad. My eyes were still dead, my hair way too long, but I'm beginning to believe the saying that "any man in a suit looks good." Although knowing certain people, I really doubt that.

After a few minutes of looking into the mirror, a knock came from the door to the dressing room, shortly followed by the soft voice of a girl.

"Are you done?" the voice asked.

"Yeah."

The owner of the voice, a certain girl with elegant black hair, slipped into the room and closed the door as if she were a thief trying to avoid detection. I found it rather odd, but forgot about it as I left my eyes to linger on her. After turning back to face me, her lips rose into a shy smile.

"Well, I'd say that looks good on you."

"Oh, thanks…" I looked back into the mirror, but honestly, it really felt weird. "Are you sure? Honestly, I think I might get made fun of as soon as I show my face." By the time I turned back to her, she had already moved closer and was inspecting the suit.

"Hm, well, I wouldn't think so. But perhaps it would be best if it were in better shape." She said as she started to tug and adjust various parts of the tuxedo. She started with the cufflinks, then the bow, the collar, then brushed the tops of my shoulders free of dust.

"There, that looks much better. No one will make fun of you now, don't you think?" This girl and her smile… I was caught off guard by her casualness, but perhaps she wasn't thinking anything of it. I wonder if she has a bad habit of jumping into things without thinking it through… Now we were face to face, mere inches from each other. It wasn't good for my heart, not at all.

"Ah," she noticed my hesitation and gave me a little space. "Sorry, I suppose I was a little too excited…"

"Ah, no… It's fine…" The gap between her and I returned. I felt at ease now that my heart was no longer jumping through the roof, but I can't say I wasn't a little sad. "Thanks for the suit, I'll have to apologize if it gets ruined."

"You don't have to worry about doing that."

"No, I have to, don't I? After all, you went through the trouble of letting me borrow it…"

She tilted her head, her eyebrows creased, "It's not borrowed though?"

"Huh?" It was at that moment my embarrassment shot through the roof. I assumed this suit was her father's, of course why would it be anything else? Surely, she wouldn't go through the trouble of renting a suit, going so far to do that for me seemed like a waste. We're teenagers, so learning great morals and how to be humble should be respected and enforced! Let's learn to spend less money and take what we can get! …In reality, I was already conscious about it, not knowing how the suit was procured. So assuming one thing and being wrong after verbalizing it was the height of embarrassment.

She giggled, but her face was tinged a slight red as she revealed the truth to me. "The suit wasn't borrowed, it's yours, silly. I suppose I haven't told you yet, that's my fault."

"Mine?" I motioned as if to ask, you mean like, it's mine and not rented…?

"Yes, I had that suit tailored for you, so it's yours to keep. I figured there may come a time when you need it again, so I figured why not." She also motioned to say, don't worry about paying me back, insisting that it was a gift. Thank you for keeping my impoverished student status in mind.

Yukinoshita is normally a few steps ahead of the curve, but despite recent happenings, she is clearly still at the top of her game. Nothing but the best when it comes to Yukinoshita, isn't that right? Well, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm not sure how to react to receiving such an expensive gift, however…

"Ah, so that explains the fit…" But I wondered… "Wait, how did you get my measurements…?"

She paused for a second, but then her mouth went agape as if she had been caught, or rather, she hadn't thought this all the way through. I can only imagine the mental hoops she's trying to jump through to make it not as awkward as it sounds.

"I… um… I received help from Komachi-san."

Ahh… I see, I see. As expected, Komachi probably jumped on the chance when Yukinoshita approached her about it. One way or the other, she seems to always be involved when it comes to Yukinoshita, perhaps because of her unique position as my little sister. Well, I'm glad those two get along so well. Although, it's a little creepy that I don't have any memory of her asking for my measurements. …Did she measure me in my sleep…?

"Ah… well, thanks for the suit," I mumbled, then turned it back to her. "And what about yours?" Yukinoshita was staring at the floor, but perked up when I brought attention to her dress.

"Yes… I wanted to show you…"

My eyes were naturally drawn to her bright blue dress as she twirled it around, adding emphasis to how puffy it looked thanks to the layers of opaque and semi-transparent frills going down the skirt. Below the skirt which only reached down to her knees, were her bare legs and a pair of bright blue slippers. Truly, out of all the dresses I've seen her in, this one screamed "prom night." The best words that I could think at the time were, she's absolutely beautiful.

"I also had this dress made for the occasion. I wanted you to be the first to see it… How does it look…?" She asked timidly.

"It um, looks good. Yeah, it's really good," I said, but I couldn't help sounding like an idiot as I tripped over my words.

She smiled and said, "Thank you." For a short while, we enjoyed this time together. But there was still work to do, and of course, we ran out of things to talk about. That feeling once again seemed to permeate through the room, and Yukinoshita no doubt felt it too as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Um, Hikigaya-kun…"

"…What is it?"

"You know…" she started, then quickly trailed off. Her eyes told me there was something on her mind, but her smile quickly faded away as she pondered in silence. She looked down towards the floor, then moved her eyes to the clock on the wall. "No, it's nothing, never mind." Her smile returned. "The guests will arrive any time soon. Let's go greet them, Hikigaya-kun."

"Right, right."

As much as I want to ask her what it was she wanted to say, I knew it wasn't the best time to ask. The night was still young, and bringing it up would only hinder our work. The stage was set, and it was time to raise the curtain on our final act.

~ x ~

After several meetings with the staff and a few final checks over the venue, it was time to open the doors for the graduates. The BGM welcoming the first wave of guests continued as they poured in and helped create the mood necessary to get them into the swing of things. Yuigahama was there at the entrance alongside Miura, to greet the guests and give them their wristbands after confirming their tickets. Since I was overseeing the indoor staff, I watched over them for a time to make sure the traffic flowing in was smooth. After feeling comfortable with how it was going, I left the entrance and went back into the main dance hall.

Even though I had already seen the place, put it together, and worried over it for the past few days, I wasn't used to it. The walls and tables were decorated with beautiful flowers, handpicked by Yukinoshita with the help of a local vendor. There were also wooden archways, streams of foliage, white drapes, and imitation candles that looked as if they were actually burning. The theme of the prom was a garden party, but it ended up rather romantic… Perhaps a bit too much for a graduation party.

Well, not like it's too much of a problem. I've heard that prom is basically the ultimate "please go out with me" party for teenagers overseas. Setting the mood for would-be couples was probably the best option to make this thing a success. If this were just a plain carbon copy of the Sobu prom, I doubt anyone from our school who already attended would be eager to pay for a round two…

"Hikigaya-kun, are there any issues at the front?" From my headset's speaker Yukinoshita's soft voice cut through the music, and after she stopped talking, the static which indicated her intent to talk faded away.

"Yeah, everything's alright."

"Good, then in ten minutes I will start the opening ceremony." The static from the headset dissipated once again. Everything so far was going to plan, so I calmly let out a breath to relax myself.

I looked over the dance hall again, remembering what Haruno had said. I remembered what I felt, what I learned, and the decision I made a week ago. I don't know how much of a fool I am for wanting this, and I really don't know what is waiting for me at the end. When the curtain falls on this messed up play, what awaits the characters whose story continues on?

Life doesn't end at the end of the story. We don't just live in that single moment forever. We continue to grow, continue to change, continue to learn and experience new things. That's what she would have wanted me to believe, and that's why I set the stage before me. I really don't know what to say, how to act, or how I should explain the answer that I came to. It was all a mess, like a horribly written and played out romantic comedy. Nothing about it was funny, and it was barely romantic at all. As to be expected, this youth romantic comedy of mine was wrong and needs to be corrected.

And right then as if on cue, I heard the footsteps of a pair of high heels walking right up to me. I turned to find Hiratsuka standing there in a dark dress, black heels, and the lightest amount of makeup applied across her lips and eyelashes. For once, I thought, she actually looked like a proper and mature woman.

"You've really outdone yourself, Hikigaya." She said with a smug smile. I'm glad for the compliment, but I sensed a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Well, not like it was all me. It was a team effort…"

"Of course, of course. I'm sure the team was really happy to scramble together a second prom from scratch!" She laughed. Ugh, don't remind me about the amount of apologizing and prostrating I had to do… "I came here because I was worried about you, but I had a feeling you would somehow pull it off. I see my worries weren't needed at all." She beamed.

"I don't know what to say, I mean, we were totally struggling up until yesterday. I really thought we weren't going to make it in time…" I sighed heavily, recalling that hope of Tamanawa getting enough funds in time for the whole event seemed bleak. It was only yesterday he came and gave us good news that the turn out for the prom looked promising. And seeing all the guests here tonight, I could breathe easy knowing that I wouldn't have to dip into my college savings fund…

"I see," she said as she looked at me as if to say, as expected from one of your last-minute plans. "So then, Hikigaya, can I take this as your answer?" I looked at her as though she just randomly started speaking in perfect English. She jabbed me in the shoulder. "Don't start acting ignorant now. You planned this, didn't you? 'I'll show you a real prom,' was it? You said something like that to Haruno after we talked, am I right?"

My face flushed bright red, so much so I looked away from her and tried to explain it away in my head like, oh wow, the stage lights are really bright red right now! Hey, can you not shine that light directly on my face?!

"Ah…" I was caught like a deer in the headlights. This was the one person I couldn't hide from, the teacher I respected the most. She was an expert at dealing with people like me, so much so that I was now at the point where trying to hide and deflect her questions is useless. But it's not like I really want to deflect these things anymore. Because I respect her so much, and because of how badly I want to prove Yukinoshita Haruno wrong, I would need to give her a proper answer.

"Well… I guess… You could say something like that. Yeah."

This was my answer to Hiratsuka Shizuka. My story would not end here, even after the curtain was scheduled to fall. Like she taught me, I would need to use all the words and all the actions I could think of to come up with an answer to what I felt. This was my answer to Yukinoshita Haruno. My relationship with her sister was not a sham, and everything that we built together was not because of some word like codependency. It may not get across, it may not be understood—but this was how I wanted it to end.

"Mhm. That's good. If you said anything else, I would've called you a liar," she said as she pointed to the rest of the dance hall with her thumb. "This prom is proof enough of the love you have for each other."

"Ugh, that's really embarrassing… can you not say stuff like that…? In fact, could you please just not point that kind of thing out at all…?" Blood rushed to my head rapidly, and immediately I was suffering from several stacks of the lightheaded debuff. She continued to laugh as she said that it was too late for me to be worried about what it looked like to others.

"It looks like you're really enjoying your youth now, I'm glad that I was here to see it. Thank you, Hikigaya," she said with a wistful smile. I didn't respond right away as I was caught in the moment, seeing the look in her eyes and hearing the inflection of her voice. I sensed there was a deeper meaning behind her words, perhaps as if she were remembering the days of her youth fondly. If she was indeed thinking back on her teenage years so passionately, I wonder if I would be like that too in ten years.

"Yeah, well, I'm quite terrified when it comes to my future…" I said despairingly.

She smiled wryly, knowing full well the situation I had put myself into. After a pat on the back, she encouraged me to keep my head up. "Well then, as a parting gift from me, how about a favor?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hmm… Well, anything I could do within my power to assist both you and Yukinoshita. How about that?"

I pondered for a minute, at first thinking of it as a joke, but then thought about it seriously. There were a number of things that I could think of that we needed help with, but I had to narrow it down to one. Then I remembered there was one thing I hadn't fully considered until just now.

"Actually, there's the post-prom work that still needs to be done. Yukinoshita could only rent the community center for the days leading up to yesterday, so we don't have anywhere to work. So, if at all possible… could we get access to the club room?"

Hiratsuka's eyes looked around as she was thinking, muttering to herself things I couldn't hear over the music. But she soon snapped her eyes back to me with a grin. "Yeah, I think I can do that."

I despised being in that room. Forced into that club by Hiratsuka every evening, I wanted nothing to do with it. I was perfectly content to keep the status quo. I was a loner, at the bottom of the social caste system and there was nothing that would change that. But over time that room began to change. It became lived in, changing its shape and conforming to the occupants within. Soon enough, the students coming and going from that room changed as well. As much as I hate to admit it, that place now held a special place in my heart. It was the place her and I first met, and it was the perfect place to peacefully put an end to that club.

"Thank you, sensei," I said appreciatively, and she nodded her head.

"Hikigaya-kun, the opening ceremony will begin shortly, are you ready?" Like a clock at the stroke of midnight, Yukinoshita's voice signaled the end of my conversation with Hiratsuka. I responded and then turned my attention back to the teacher in front of me.

"Looks like it's showtime."

"I see. Well, I think I'll enjoy this party for a little longer before heading out. Maybe you could spare time for a dance later?" She teased.

"What? No way, I'm totally not going to have time for that…"

She laughed, "Oh? And here I was hoping that I could get a chance to dance with you too."

"Too? Huh?" I questioned, but then I had an idea what she was referring to. "You were watching…?" I cringed a little, because that time Yuigahama and I danced at the Sobu prom was the most awkward thing in recent memory…

"Of course, it looked like a lot of fun!"

I sighed heavily. "Whatever… I don't really know how to dance you know…"

"That's fine. I don't either." She gave me the smile of a mature adult. "But even so, that's what makes it fun, no?"

I looked at her doubtfully, but I saw what she was getting at. There's a satisfaction that comes from being able to successfully pull off a routine dance, but a dance that comes from enjoying the moment was just as fun. Going along to the beat of her own drum was her style. If there was no way, she made a way. If there wasn't a dance, she would make up a dance. I believe we're more alike than I once thought, and I'm glad that she was my teacher.

~ x ~

There was only an hour left until the joint prom would come to a close. It was just after sunset and the red glow of the sun had already sunk beneath the horizon. But yet, because it was a pleasant spring evening, you could still feel the warmth in the air and a faint cool breeze rolling across the beach. Standing here and looking out towards Tokyo Bay, I could see the city lights stretching across the coastline. I guess I should thank Komachi later for this refreshing break.

She pushed me out a minute ago saying I needed it, and that she would take responsibility while I was gone. I was a little worried, but I guess she was trying to do me a favor in her own way. I realized this after spotting Yukinoshita in the wooden gazebo across the beach all by herself.

She stood there as if waiting for someone, looking out towards the crashing waves and the few prom guests having fun by the water. Her blue dress shined as the small amber light at the top of the gazebo tried its best to light the darkness, with just a little help from the full moon. Quickly, I felt the urge to go to her.

On my way, I thought about all kinds of things. A lot of things that were important to me, and a lot of things that started to make my stomach turn with butterflies. It was like the goosebumps on my body came and went like they were having an annual safety drill to ensure function. Yes, my goosebumps work, you can stop it already brain! If this continues any further, I fear for the status of my bowels!

So I continued pacing myself, catching my breath, and massaging the back of my hand until I reached the gazebo where she was. I walked up beside her as she listened to her phone placed on top of the railing, which was currently playing the same music from inside the dance hall at a low volume.

"I guess our breaks managed to line up, huh?" I said to her.

She nodded, "Yes, it does appear that way." She smiled as if finding the moment funny. "Isshiki insisted that I do it now. I suppose she told you as well?"

I shook my head. "No, Komachi pushed me out here."

"So, they were working together."

"It sure looks that way. I'm glad they're getting along so well…"

She chuckled. "I wondered if those two weren't going to mix well, but it seems they make for an interesting pair, don't they?"

"Yeah, well, it's frightening, their ability to be cheeky while keeping a mask of innocence at the same time. The power of a little sister and junior… It's too powerful."

"I suppose we'll have to thank them, regardless of their methods."

"Yeah." She's right, and I'll have to apologize to Isshiki again as well. Although, she'll probably just hit me again and say I wasn't reading the room as usual. Still, she and Komachi took on our jobs to give us this time together. I didn't know when, or even if I would have a chance to talk to her like this, so I've at least got to show my gratitude.

At the same time, the students playing out on the beach started to run back inside—laughing and shouting all the way—and through the open doors I could hear the DJ speak over the microphone just faintly.

"This next one is going to be a slow one, for all the couples out there!"

The playlist was on a rotation, going from upbeat and popular songs for a time before switching to slower ballroom type ones. The selection was quite wide as suggestions were taken from the guests beforehand. Though there were quite a lot of anime songs in there…

But now it was just me and Yukinoshita. I had already danced one time tonight, but the person that I really wanted to dance with was now standing next to me. The song on the phone ended and the next began, and thanks to the heads up from the DJ, I was prepared for what was coming.

"Would the lady allow me this dance?" I held out my hand to her with a cheeky smile. She turned around with surprise written all over her face, but she was unable to hide the grin forming.

"I suppose I'll have to take you up on that," she said and then placed her hand in mine.

"I have to admit, I don't know how to dance."

"Don't worry, just follow along with me. We can improvise as much as we want."

She guided me a little on what to do, my posture, that kind of thing. We joined hands as we moved to the center of the gazebo, then I moved my right hand behind her back, and she placed her left hand gently on my shoulder. Without wasting any more time, we began to dance with the music. We stepped back and forth, side to side, one foot at a time. Soon we were spinning eagerly around the gazebo, like a merry-go-round of life, in step with the highs and lows of the instruments.

Yukinoshita gripped onto me like she never wanted to let go. Forward and back, as the strings of the violin rose and fell, around and a dip, my left foot forward as her right stepped back. And as the song began to swirl, I let her go and spun her around. Her dress followed suit, flowing as she went round, and then I pulled her back in. Never before have I seen Yukinoshita as happy as she is now, alongside that bright smile of hers, and never before have I felt this kind of happiness from just watching her.

I thought about the many faces that she's shown to me lately, further hammering in the idea that Yukinoshita Yukino was a normal girl, as much as I make her out to be a sharp-tongued princess. But I realize there are still many sides to her I've yet to see. The side of her when she's at home, or the side of her when she lets her guard down. There's a lot I don't know about her, and if I want that to change, I need to do something about it.

Eventually the song came to an end and transitioned smoothly into a slower and much calmer one. We stood there, still holding on to one another. Face to face, both my hands wrapped around her waist, and hers tenderly wrapped around my neck. Swaying slowly, she and I savored each second. This timing should be perfect, right? I kept going back and forth between staying silent for a while longer or breaking the silence; however, Yukinoshita beat me to it.

"Hikigaya-kun," she began softly, "I want to ask you something." Neither of us made eye contact, and even though the tone of the conversation became serious, we continued our dance.

"Ask away," I answered.

"What did you mean—when you said all that stuff last week?"

I looked out towards Tokyo Bay and the buildings lighting up the night sky. This view didn't really have anything for me right now, but nonetheless my mind went to work at coming up with an answer. Yukinoshita was bothered by it too.

"You want to make it clear, huh? Well, I'm pretty much in the same boat."

"I don't want to get the wrong idea…"

"I apologize, I guess it's because of my stupid pride. I didn't know how to put it into words, so it came out like that. But words aren't really enough…"

She lightly bonked my shoulder with her hand. "It's not that it wasn't enough, you just overcomplicated things…"

Yeah, I did. I didn't want to simplify or contain our relationship in a word that couldn't contain what I felt for her, but in doing so the relationship I was describing was lost in translation. When it comes to what we call that, I need to be clear—I can't be vague. "To be honest, I wanted to tell you something. Could you hear me out?"

She nodded and then answered, "I'm listening."

I let out a deep breath, thought about what I wanted to say, and then steeled myself. "It's exactly as I said—I want us to be closer, and I want to be involved with your life. We've grown closer over the past year, but there was a gap that I couldn't close, and now it's like I'm finally able to close it. But—I guess I haven't been straightforward about my intentions since last week, and I want to clear any misunderstandings."

She tugged on my collar. "I do have one, and I want an answer. I want to know I'm not mistaken… how you feel about me…"

I don't want to trouble her any longer. Dancing around the answer for a week now, she must have been upset from that unsatisfactory answer to Isshiki's question. Of course she's special to me, and we were something like "partners." But to a teenage girl in the prime of her youth, was a vague answer like that really okay?

"I didn't think these words would really contain what I feel… but… if we had to start somewhere, I guess I would say you… are something like a girlfriend to me…"

Yukinoshita paused momentarily, but blurted out a response as soon as it crossed her mind. "Then you're my boyfriend, right?" She said eagerly, a face full of anticipation.

"Y-Yeah… I think that's the kind of relationship we have right now…"

She pressed her head against my chest, and then said softly, "I wasn't mistaken after all."

Geez, this girl is too cute. If she keeps acting like this forever I don't know if I'll survive. My sanity was also at stake here, so I kept my thoughts as calm as possible despite her hugging onto me so tight.

"But—there's more I want to say. I guess it's not enough to say that we have that kind of relationship…" I said this sincerely, though it was hard for me as my voice was beginning to catch in my throat from the immense weight of it. The walls I had put up were coming down, and I want to build something new from the ashes. A new relationship, one that would surely be something I could say was genuine.

"That is, I want to say… I want…" Ugh, this is really embarrassing to say… I really just want to crawl up in a corner and die… "I want to make up for lost time. The time we missed, the things we couldn't do. I really… want to spend more time with you." Would she understand it? My words, my feelings, everything that I was trying to get across?

She was quite stunned, and I'm not surprised in the slightest. It's rare for me to open up like this. The last time I was this upfront was when I asked her and Yuigahama for help with the Christmas event. But even so, I needed to say it.

"Hikigaya-kun…" She said quietly, giving herself a few seconds to think it out. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Yeah, well, I do get lonely after all. Even as an S-tier loner, I still have a desire for interpersonal relationships," I said with a wry grin, but she jabbed my shoulder in response.

"Your phrasing is about as bad as your eyes…"

"Oof, that's pretty harsh, don't you think? My eyes are just fine you know…" Instead of offering a rebuttal, she threw herself into my chest and wrapped her arms around me.

"But, if that's what you want, I don't mind. Rather, I want that too. Spending more time together, going out…"

"So, is that a promise?"

"Mhm. Yes, it is."

Really, I feel so stupid. All that time worrying, not knowing if it would get across. Doing these things, saying these things, I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where I won't get nervous from it. But even so, I don't want to let go of her. Not now, and not for a very long time.

Yukinoshita with her face still firmly planted into my chest, spoke up. "There's one more thing I would like to say…"

"What's that?"

She tightened her grip as if to ready herself, and then softly and tenderly let out four words that would no doubt be stuck in my mind for the rest of my life.

"I love you, Hikigaya-kun."

~ x ~

I used to think that youth was a burden. I still do, really, when I think about all the trouble it caused me and the trouble I caused myself. I have to confess however, that I thought I was being wise when I said that youth was just an excuse for dumb idiots to get away with doing dumb things, and thought myself better for not following in the footsteps of those idiots. The truth was, as it turns out, I am also one of those idiots.

In my naiveté, I couldn't see that I was following the same patterns. No matter who you are, you will, at some point, have to come to the realization that you don't know what you're doing, and that you're in the prime of your youth. Rebelling against authority, making bad decisions, falling in love, these things come with being a teenager. I thought they were stupid, and I could just avoid or skip over them, but I ended up doing those things anyway.

I'm sure even if I kept putting it off years down the line, even at the age of 24 I would find myself going through these phases. So here I am, the day after, suffering from the consequences of such youth.

The time on the clock versus the time I made an attempt to go to bed suggested I had gotten about six hours of sleep. Honestly, it felt like two. I don't need to question it, the reason for my poor quality of sleep was because of that—a certain girl, a certain event, and the words that had been said.

"I love you, Hikigaya-kun."

When her words took center stage in my mind, I couldn't help but roll to one side of the bed. When I thought about what happened after that, I rolled back to the other side and screamed inside my soul. Then, when I thought about the time we spent before that, I fell off the bed and gritted my teeth.

That was super embarrassing…! I know she feels the same way but… That was just too intense! I wanna roll up and die!

Today is the last day of spring break, but I can't rest easy with this new life I've found myself in. Things like love, relationships, friendship, I don't really get it. Every time I think I do I find there's always something I don't know. I get a new perspective, learn, grow, and then continue on until I hit another wall. I've overcome one obstacle, but now I've stepped up to a new challenge.

Making up for lost time. All the time I was being naïve, the time of our youth that we lost to our relationship being twisted. Getting hung up on what ifs like, what if I had been honest sooner, what if we had not gotten caught up in that word "codependency". It feels pointless when I think about it, but I'd like to be selfish just this once. For the rest of our remaining time as high school students, I'd like to make sure that I have no regrets. That I spent my youth to the fullest, and that not a single moment was wasted.

~ x ~

As expected, the last day of spring break was coming to an uneventful end. If I closed my eyes and thought real hard, I could trick myself into thinking the past week never happened, it was that bland. In the morning, I ate breakfast with Komachi like usual. At noon, I was playing games and watching anime. In the afternoon, I lazed about in the living room with Kamakura, while Komachi and our parents were in the kitchen. In the evening, the Hikigaya family got together for dinner, a somewhat rare event lately thanks to our parents having less free time.

Now, at the end of the day, I dropped onto my bed and stared at the bare ceiling. A sight I'm used to, the same sight I woke up to this very morning. It was silent, almost too silent. I thought for sure Komachi might barge into my room at any point, but as the minutes dragged on I became comfortable with the silence—almost drifting off to sleep. Then, like death coming when you least expect it, a loud ringtone I had never heard before cut through the silence. The phone was really close to my ear too…

I jolted upwards and reached for my phone. "Holy crap, that scared me…"

On the screen it read, Incoming call from Yukinoshita Yukino. That never-before-heard ringtone could only mean one thing. And yet…

Yukinoshita is calling me!? Why?! I mean, I gotta answer, right? Actually, isn't this too hard…? Why do I feel this immense pressure?! Ah, it's already been five seconds… this has already been too long, right? I gotta answer!

My brain finally shut down from the shock and my finger moved as if guided by a higher power, sliding across the screen to answer the call.

"…Ye-Yeah?" I answered.

"Ah, uhm, Hikigaya-kun… sorry."

"Wait, uh… what are you apologizing for…?"

"Well, I didn't mean to call you… I meant to message you…"

"Ah, I see… Want—want me to hang up?"

"No… I suppose now that it's at this point, it doesn't matter…"

"Right…" I don't blame her, hanging up now would be really weird, wouldn't it…? At times like this, you just need to put up with it and take advantage of the situation.

"So, I just wanted to say thank you for your hard work yesterday."

"Yeah, no problem… same to you."

"Thank you."

The conversation quickly ran dry. Uwah… What a terrible feeling…

"So…" I kept searching for something to say. Talk about the weather? No, that wouldn't go anywhere either… If I'm going to keep this call going, it's gotta be something worthwhile. With a sigh, I spoke the first thing that readily came to mind. "I'm sorry, I really put you through trouble with the joint prom."

I heard her sigh from the other end of the call. "Don't worry about it, it didn't really bother me. After all, it was fun."

"Fun, huh?"

"Mhm. Working with the others for one last time and watching everyone enjoy themselves after all the work we put into it."

"…Yeah, now that you say it."

"…And you know, getting to dance too… it was fun…" Yukinoshita was noticeably a little quieter.

"Ah… Yeah…"

I love you, Hikigaya-kun.

"Hey, do you remember what you said after that?"

"You know what I said, why are you asking…"

"Hm, I'm just making sure you remembered," she said as she giggled.

"Well, as long as you don't forget either, it's fine…"

"Not to worry, I don't think I will."

Love, relationships, I don't really get it. I continue on thinking, maybe I never will. But little by little, through our conversations and interactions, I think the pieces are slowly coming together. A little here, a little there, I think there's a chance I will at some point come to an understanding. I can say for now, "me too." One day though, I'd like to say more.

Our conversation continued until we ran out of things to talk about, at which point I think we were both just randomly spouting words so that we could hear the other's voice. It eventually did come to an end.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said.

"Yeah, see you then."

The call was over, my first ever one-on-one chat with Yukinoshita that had nothing to do with the club. It was an accidental phone call, but that wasn't such a bad thing. I laid back onto my bed, but this time, I was suffocating myself into a pillow.

This marked the beginning of our very awkward romantic youth.

Afterword:

Good morning, how are you doing? It's been quite a long time, but I think I will start uploading again. It's been a crazy ride over here since the last time I made an update, and honestly, it's still continuing. I'm not going to be able to spend as much time on this as I would like going forward, so I'm going ahead with releasing the first chapter now. I appreciate your patience, and I hope we can all look forward to the future of this story. This is only the first chapter, and the first volume of 5. I hope to see you again soon.

Thank you.

- Amethyst Ninja