I know I usually flip between the two but decided to change things around and throw a surprise in the story.

I woke up and slowly made my way out of the bed quickly placing my pillow in Olivia's arms before she woke up. I want her to sleep as much and for as long as she can. After the shower I massaged the knots out of her lower back and leg and was finally able to convince her to take the muscle relaxer that the doctor had prescribed. I pull the door to as I walk out of the bedroom and head to the kitchen to make some coffee and see what I can fix Olivia for breakfast when she wakes. As I stand at the coffee pot my mind is running a million miles an hour and in every direction. I desperately needed to talk to someone to try to gather my thoughts and reached for the phone and dialed the number I knew by heart.

"Hello"

"Hey mom I was wondering if you were free this morning. I really need to talk something over with you?"

"Alex is everything ok, is Olivia doing, ok?"

"No, yes, I don't know." I sigh knowing that I was babbling like my thoughts running through my mind. "My mind has been racing I need to talk to you. I need some motherly advice."

"I'll put on a fresh pot of coffee Alex, come on over."

"Thanks mom I'll be there in about twenty minutes, Love you." I said quickly before hanging up and grabbing the note pad and leaving a note for Olivia that I was heading over to see my parents and I would be home soon.

Traffic was unusually light this morning and I made it to my parents in less than twenty minutes. Just as I raise my hand to knock on the door swings open and there's my mom standing there smiling.

"Come on and tell me what is going on." She says as she hugs me quickly and ushers me into the kitchen.

"I don't know if I want this. I did at one time but I'm not so sure now." I say as I begin pacing like I do when I am writing an opening or closing statement. "I want to walk away from it. It would be crazy to give up now."

"Alex, Alex." My mom says grabbing my attention "I believe you have had half this conversation in your head. I will need you to be a little more specific. Are you saying you don't know if you want to be with Olivia now?

"What" I spit out as I spun around to face her "How can you say that mom I love her more than life itself. I need her like I need oxygen."

"Then I need you to be a little more specific Alex because you are rambling and honestly, I am a little lost on what exactly you're not sure you want anymore."

I take a deep breath and sit down at the table "Mom, do you remember when I was younger, and I asked you why didn't you work? You stated that being a homemaker was your job. That you were to take care of the house raise me and I said not me I wanted to make it to the senate."

"Alex we were both raised at different times. I was taught that a man's home is his castle, and he is the ruler. You were to submit to your husband and care for the home and children. You never once consider stepping out of the home to find a job."

"But what if I want that life now. What if don't want the District Attorney position anymore or move to the senate?"

"Alex, you made those decisions when you were in your early teens you are in your thirties now you are more than allowed to change your mind on decisions you made when you were twenty years younger."

I stare at my coffee cup as I gather my thoughts and try to figure out how to say what had been running through my mind for the last few weeks.

"Mom," I say as I look up at the older version of myself "I don't want any of that anymore. What I want is to be at home taking care of the household and a kid or kids. I want to have a family with Olivia, and I don't know if it's the right time or the right thing to do."

"Did you think we would be upset or wouldn't support your change in decision? Did you think Olivia would be upset if you were to walk away from the DA position?"

"Some" I answer as I give her a slight grin

"Alex, we have supported you on everything from what outfit you wanted to wear as a child, to you telling us your first year of college that you were gay, to working at the DA's office, to dating and eventually marrying Olivia. Why would you fear we would not support this decision?"

"Because you have put in so much effort to get me this far."

"The only effort we have put in is supporting you. If you want to walk away from this then walk away. If you want to become a stay-at-home wife and mother your father and I will be your biggest supports behind Olivia. Don't continue to do something you don't want to do because you are afraid, we will be disappointed. The only way we would ever become disappointed in you was if you continued and this was not what you wanted."

"Am I crazy for changing my mind now."

"No Alex you are far from crazy you have the right to change your mind at any moment. If this is not what you want any more than don't do it. Live your life to please yourself and not everyone else. No matter what you choose you know me, your father, and Olivia will always stand behind you."

"What about wanting to have kids? Mom we are great, don't get me wrong, but is now the right time to discuss children. We've discussed and opened wounds that have healed or almost healed but still?"

"I will be honest with you not many people have children at the right time. Nine out of ten times it winds up being the best accident of your life. Your father and I were barely married for three years when I became pregnant with you. We had every intention of waiting till after our fifth year of marriage, but the lord had other plans. We wouldn't change anything. Ask yourself, do you feel your relationship is now stable enough to have children now."

"Absolutely"

"Then you need to sit down and have this conversation with Olivia. Honey, what are you scared of? That she won't support you or that she will say no to having children."

"I know she would support me if I decided to no longer run for District Attorney. I'm not so sure if she would be so supportive of us having children" I say as I finally voice my fear "She is great with kids I have had the privilege of watching her work with children to calm them. I've seen her calm a crying baby quicker than their parents can" Thinking back to when Jessie, Rollins now oldest, had colic and wouldn't stop crying "But we have never once discussed us having kids. Not while we were dating or at any other point in our lives. What if she says no?" I say as tears start to fall "Mom I want this life with her, more than I've ever wanted anything career wise."

"Then sit down, take the time, and talk this over with her.

"I guess there's no other way is there?" I ask laughing "You know I wasn't even this scared or nervous when I told her about my colossal screw-up. So why am I so nervous and scared this time?"

"Because" my mom says as places her hands over mine "you knew what the outcome would be no matter how much it destroyed you to tell her. But this time you are going in blind, baby. Just like when you put your case in, the jury's hand. You have no clue what the outcome will be you just pray it's the outcome that you want."

"I guess you're right"

"I know I'm right." My mom says laughing "A mother is never wrong."

I throw my head back and start laughing "Ok mom but you are right I don't know the outcome and that's why I am scared. We have the weekend together and I am going to talk to her about this."

"See that's easy" my mother states as she pulls me to my feet and gives me a hug "We are always here for you, now go home relax and talk. Let's plan a family dinner it's been too long since we all have gotten together."

I hugged my mom back and nod in agreement to having a family dinner. I grab my coat and head out the door so I can be wrapped in the arms of my wife and share my thoughts and feelings with her.