A sigh escaped Meryl's lips as she watched his back, cherry red and covered in dirt and haphazardly repaired tears and bullet holes, begin to disappear. Her insides felt tight and cold all at once. Every little thing she wanted to tell him that threatened to pour out over the last few weeks suddenly became gummy in her throat.

He already knew what she wanted to say.

Even after the last hint of red had gone, Meryl was still watching. Maybe, if she were lucky, it would be over in an instant and he'd come rushing back. He'd come rushing back and…

Meryl had no real idea what would come next. The scene in her head made her blush until it felt as though she was running a fever. And… Well… Meryl couldn't help but feel a little bit of shame she'd even thought of it. The exchange minutes before could have been some final goodbye. And Meryl said nothing honest. Only quiet, stumbling platitudes.

Maybe that was for the best. Maybe he didn't need to know about the silly, frivolous thoughts in her head. If it was goodbye for real this time, then what would all of these feelings even do for him? Meryl didn't want to guilt trip him into staying for her.

That wasn't what she wanted. And after everything, Vash deserved better.

The wind was starting to pick up, making Meryl's arms prick up with goosebumps. Her bangs blew into her face. Impulsively, Meryl scrunched her eyes closed to swipe them away. She didn't want to open them again. Then all of this would be real.

"Meryl?"

With another heavy sigh, Meryl opened her eyes and turned back to the front door. Milly lingered in the doorway, her usual wistful grin nervous. Whatever brave face she put on while she was giving Vash the Punisher was gone. Meryl looked at her expectantly.

"Are you okay?"
Nodding, Meryl forced the words out. "I don't see why I shouldn't be."
"Well… Mr. Vash just… You know." Milly wrung her hands together. "Did you tell him?"

"Tell him what?"
Milly's expression fell. She glanced around, almost as if she were embarrassed by what she said and the associated assumptions. "Nothing, ma'am. You have work today, right?"

"Yeah," Meryl hummed. Her shoulders slumped as she looked back at the desert. His footprints were gone. It was as though he had never been there. She hugged her arms around herself tightly. She could blame it on the wind. She looked back at Milly. "Aren't you supposed to be at work by now?"

"I wasn't feeling all that well," the taller woman explained. "And I wanted to say goodbye to Mr. Vash too."
"Your crew lead doesn't mind?"

Milly shrugged. "He doesn't. Besides, there's more than enough people to help out."

"What about the water vein?"

"They're still waiting on a drill from November."

A sharp breeze pulled Meryl's attention back to the desert. There was nothing there to greet her. Just emptiness.

"I guess…There's nothing left to do but wait then."

…

Time had very little meaning anymore.

Meryl had counted the days in the beginning. Each and every one. And then she stopped. At some point, there was no meaning anymore. Vash was still gone. There was no sign he had ever been here.
He never said if he was coming back.

She knew better than to hang on so tightly. It was only making her feel emptier and emptier as time wore on. Just like the desert had been when she watched his stupid, cherry red coat recede into the horizon. And before Meryl knew it, an entire month had passed.

Body feeling weighed down with lead, Meryl laid in bed, staring at the texture on the ceiling. Sunlight poured in through the curtains. The room was silent.

Milly had gotten up hours before. Meryl envied the energy her friend was able to muster up. But even Milly's resolve was waning by now. Some days Meryl wondered why Milly had stayed at all. She had a home and a family away from this little town. She wasn't obligated to stay in the middle of nowhere while Meryl languished over some cockroach she would likely never see again. Was Milly even happy here?

If she worked up the courage to ask, Meryl would only receive that same answer wrapped up in saccharine sweet positivity. The smile on Milly's face was always strained.

So instead, Meryl continued to lay on the bed. Her mind continued to spin. At some point the alarm clock next to her head started blaring. Frustration– over what, Meryl wasn't sure– boiled up from the pit of her stomach as she slammed the sleep button.

She was going to be late for work. And work was the only thing keeping her head above sand. It was busy and difficult and maddening and she could focus on that.

Meryl nearly shrieked as her feet hit the cold floor and she went scrambling for the light green diner uniform she had tossed on the floor the night before. As far as uniforms went, it wasn't the worst she had to wear. At least the older woman who owned the diner had merciful taste. Not that it stopped drunk customers from being handsy. Meryl could be wearing a nun's habit and people would still harass her.

Putting the thought out of her head, Meryl combed quickly through her hair and began her trek out of the house.

She waved absentmindedly to Milly on her way out. Milly had been sitting at the table, looking rather green. But she got up anyway to stop Meryl before she was gone.

"Meryl?"

"Mills, I've got to go. I'm already late," Meryl said apologetically. She paused, studying Milly's face. "You're not looking too good…"

Milly frowned, "I know. Just, um… I need to tell you something…"

Meryl tried not to look annoyed. Whatever was on Milly's mind was eating her up. Or not. Suddenly the color drained from Milly's face and she sprinted back into the kitchen, hovering over the trash can. Meryl wasted no time in following and holding back her hair. She rubbed Milly's back until her stomach was empty.

"Feeling any better?"

"Sort of." Milly shuddered and slid onto the floor with her back against the counters. Meryl kneeled next to her. "Meryl?"

"Uh huh?"

"I think I might be pregnant."