"Is it a curse?" the green witch asked the stormy gray sky just beyond and above her black castle walls. "Am I destined to forever and always make the wrong decision…?" If anyone had asked her years ago if she thought defying the Wizard—and gravity—was the right path, she would've wholeheartedly, undeniably, undoubtably said yes. What other course was there to take? And she would've maintained that answer up until just a couple hours ago, if only out of sheer stubbornness. But time had a way of weathering down even the hardest of emeralds. The mind loved to steal to the land of what-might-have-been, and she couldn't help but imagine the alternate universe where she and Glinda stayed together.
Would I still be with the Wizard, like I'd worked and waited for…? Would I still have all I ever wanted…? Glinda was shrewd, even if she sometimes pretended not to be. She knew about popular, and understood the importance of controlling a narrative. She understood that college was for connections, not class. After all, Elphaba was somewhat of an example of this herself. Despite being the academically smarter of the two, Glinda was by far the more traditionally successful one. Likewise, while she'd studied even before Shiz to get into the Sorcery Seminar, all Elphaba had needed to do was show up and get angry while Madam Morrible was in the vicinity.
What Elphaba loathed to admit most of all was the recognition that, in some ways, Glinda had already done more for the Animals than Elphaba ever had, at least on a large scale. Although Glinda was still slowly rising through the ranks of the Emerald City, some of her work was already gaining traction, becoming popular. She knew how to sell an attractive message with an appealing face to humans and Animals alike. She could make even the biggest, scariest, complexest idea seem small, laughable. That kind of brain, heart, and courage was exactly what Oz needed. If Elphaba had just swallowed her pride (instead of flying off the handle), could she have been that girl?
Maybe it was the wrong choice, trying to start completely over from the ground up rather than trying to change the system from within. Once again, Glinda's true shrewdness reared its little, blonde head and Elphaba's face soured like a green apple. Here she was, the naive and delusional one, expecting a hero's story to just fall right into her lap. Someday she would do the thing that magically saved all the Animals forever and always! It sounded stupid now. Maybe it wasn't just fear that held Glinda back that day, but pragmaticism. In their gambit for what type of advocacy would work better, had Glinda been the one to successfully pull it off and make it work…?
No. Elphaba could not believe that. Would not. It was just too painful to admit that she might've made the greatest mistake of her life twice over that day. First, she threw it all away, throwing caution to the wind as she flung herself from the Emerald City Palace balcony. Then she gave up a life with Glinda. They both knew Glinda would've never agreed to run away with Elphaba. As romantic of an idea as eloping was—and they were all sure that if anyone would've been first to pop the question, it would've been bubblegum princess Galinda and not sour apple Elphaba—the reality was much scarier. Glinda went into hysterical retreat again, hanging back while Elphaba defied gravity.
ooo
Miles and miles away, halfway across Oz, Glinda stared out her bedroom window of the Emerald City Palace. She looked to the western sky with a pensive mind, a regretful heart, and a long face. Her and Elphaba's words taunted her from the depths of her memory.
"I really hope you get it, and you don't live to regret it." Well, she didn't get it, and she had lived to regret it. Dying was difficulter than it seemed, but she felt stifled, smothered. She imagined one of the flying monkeys, its paw closing around her wish. She should've never started chasing it. Chasing the Wizard. Chasing her own ambition… She hated to admit it, but was Elphaba… right about her flaws?! From childhood to present day, all wishing had ever done for Glinda was wound her heart.
First there was the little Gilikin girl. Even back then, her dreams were far bigger than her. Someday, she was determined to make her mark and leave her legacy on the family name, Arduenna-Upland. And as she grew up, she started to realize some of these dreams. In high school, she studied sorcery. When she got to Shiz, she applied to the sorcery seminar. But than that mean, green, monster-machine—one Elphaba Thropp—came along and ruined everything! She snatched the sorcery seminar and mutinied Madam Morrible's mentorship and riled up the roommate reel just by showing up! How was that fair?! Well, the pendulum of the Clock of the Time Dragon tik-toked both ways.
She fell in love with Elphaba over time, only to lose her again far too soon. The chance at all she ever wanted was right there before her. All she had to do was be brave enough to take it. Glinda could finally have what she wanted. A life of love. A flight to freedom. She could finally be everything she ever wanted to be. She could finally love who she wanted to love… But while Elphaba was ready to take that leap of faith, poor Glinda was not. Her blissful blonde brain justified and rationalized it day in and day out, but what if she'd chosen wrong? She could even hear Elphaba's chiding, mocking voice in her mind, telling her as much.
She'd always told herself she could change the world with the Wizard. That she could change the system from the inside out. That she could do more good working in preexisting structures rather than starting all over, fresh from scratch. But how much of that was really true? Perhaps working within the system was a faster track to the top, but once she got there, was she any closer to "being good" than she was at the bottom? She told herself she would be the antidote to the corruption within the Emerald City, but the rot seemed to grow worse each day, including her. Maybe she wasn't as powerful as she thought she was…
Although it was true some of her policies were excellent, a lot of them were smoke and mirrors at their core, the illusion of progress without the actual obligation or accountability thereof. Elphaba, meanwhile, was out there in the weeds and the trenches, on the front lines, in the thick of it. Glinda could still envision her in the western sky, defying gravity, swooping in like a superhero to save the day in the nick of time. What was Glinda doing? Languishing in the lavish Emerald City Palace like the pampered palace brat she was. She had a life practically everyone in Oz would be green with envy to have, and yet she couldn't help but feel like it was all for nothing.
ooo
Was it bitter or sweet to know that both of them somewhat regretted their choices despite knowing they'd never make a different one even if they could? The grass was always greener… The only common thread that bound them was the red thread of fate that seemed to have tied their souls together, even though they were trapped miles and miles apart. But they were just too different. Elphaba would've never been able to stand the stifling palace life, and Glinda would've never thrived in the isolation and grassroots groundwork of the far-flung reaches.
And yet still, each day and night, the golden sun and the lonely moon pined for one another. Even though they knew they would've never felt at home in each other's worlds. It was cliché, but perhaps home was not a place, rather, a person. They both missed home, that was the common thread, but it wasn't the Emerald City, rather, each other, because there was no one like home.
AN: Basically wanted to analyze the different approaches to advocacy (changing the system from within, or from the outside) and the idea that even if the two HAD chosen to stay/run away together, they might've had a tragic end regardless just because they have different approaches to life. To them, home isn't a place, but a person, but in either case, sometimes home can't be returned to.