Chapter 51, In the warm glow of candles
How she adored Haymitch's music. Even through a screen. Her very own window to District 12.
Hearing him, watching him, play the piano was like getting a glimpse of a part of his soul that people rarely got to see.
A special, precious side of him that he reserved only for his children. And her. At least for as long as the twins needed her for everything.
The soft nursery carpet muted Effie's steps as she walked back and forth, back and forth. Gently rocking Amy in her arms.
Ian already slept over in his crib. But like most nights – his sister needed a little more time to fall into a slumber that lasted. But her head rested heavily on Effie's shoulder. Warm breath slow and steady against her neck.
Snuggled close, was her stuffed plush goose of course. White with a chubby orange beak. A gift from Hazelle. One she made while the twins were still in their mother's belly.
It was only recently that Amy got to have it at bedtime, given that she was still just one and a half. But ever since it was safe to put it in her crib – the girl could not sleep without it.
Hazelle made one for Ian too of course, but he couldn't part from his baby blanket. The one Haymitch brought along during his first visit here. First visit post-birthday, when this new arrangement was made.
Of all the nights of the week, Effie loved "Haymitch's nights" the most. Not only because the children fell asleep much faster and easier when dada was around, via the screen at the very least, talking to them and playing the piano.
It made her feel less alone. Alone with the responsibility.
Like her, Haymitch too had lit candles, over at the nursery in his house. Only a couple of them. Not so that he would see the ivories. Haymitch could play blind-folded. Classics. Mountain airs. Freehand. Anything you liked.
No, the candles were for the children. So that they may see him. His presence always soothed them. His presence and his music.
Seated on the piano stool now, back turned, he was half-way through one of their favorites. One of hers too if she was being honest.
No alcohol present. Not even a glass of scotch mounted on the top board. Haymitch had kept his promise.
So far, a voice said at the back of her mind, but Effie pushed the thought aside. Pushed it down and focused on nothing but his music. His music and the feel of his child in her arms.
All the way downtown, the Capitol had changed into their nightlife attire but the distant, thick beat of music was all drowned out by the district lullabies.
Effie dropped a kiss to her daughter's temple.
"Do you think you can sleep now?" she whispered. "Shall we try? Let's try."
Gentle as ever, she placed the child in the middle of the crib. Amy's face crinkled up for a second but once her mother adjusted the goose next to her, her forehead smoothed out. She nuzzled into her stuffie and settled in.
Effie gave the girl a soft caress. Turned for the boy next, making sure nothing was amiss.
"Goodnight, my loves", she whispered. "Sleep tight. See you in the morning light."
Outside, soft fluffy snowflakes floated down a dark sky. With no wind they were like specks in the ocean. Illuminated by bowls of light coming from the frosty streetlamps, lining Effie's neighborhood.
She lingered. Gazed out the garden, the pond, the snowmen. Haymitch's snow lantern burned low but steady. Still going strong.
Barely conscious of it, Effie tapped her fingertips quietly against the windowsill, in time with the comforting music.
It wasn't until the last note had swelled into silence, that she finally turned for the screen again. Unable to escape that all too familiar sense of loss in her heart that always consumed her when it was time to part from a "good day".
Those sweet, rare days when Haymitch was functioning. Focused on the twins, instead of turning his gaze inward. Toward those dark spaces he so easily got lost in.
Haymitch turned silently in his chair. Gave his fingers a gentle stretch.
"They're asleep", said Effie, under her breath.
"Good. Let's hope you get some too. If not, just call me alright?"
Effie nodded.
"Yes."
Her eyes gazed between the two cribs.
"One of these days they're going to be too big", she murmured, a drop of sorrow painting every word. "I need to buy them some toddler beds soon. Maybe", her gaze fluttered back to him, "if you're in town you can come along? I'd value your opinion."
"Doubt it", said Haymitch. He ran his fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. "But I'll be there, sweetheart."
She expected a "goodnight" next, or even "see ya" but his eyes remained trained on her face. Head tilted, he asked,
"Did you do something different? You look different."
"Oh." Effie's hand went to her hair, fingertips grazing one of the butterflies. She smiled. "Octavia styled it for me. When we had tea earlier. What? You hate it?"
"Meh …" Haymitch gave a light shrug. "I think it's safe to say you've looked worse."
"Wow", said Effie, amused. "That's high praise, coming from you."
"Just don't tell the prep I said it, or they'll come for me next."
Effie's eyes glittered.
"Would that be so bad?"
"Uh, yeah."
Their voices were hardly above a whisper, but Ian's crib creaked when he moved sleepily, followed by a soft whimper.
"Best call it a night, sweetheart."
"Yes … I suppose so." Effie paused. "Although, I can't say I'm all that tired just yet." And oddly enough she wasn't. "I could call you up on the regular phone. If, if that's something you'd want?"
"Yeah?"
"Yes. I mean, it takes me about an hour to fall asleep anyway. I wouldn't mind the company."
xXx
"So … before anything else, I have a confession to make."
Sprawled out against the fluffy pillows of her bed, Effie brushed some lint off the hem of her nightgown.
With her hair combed out, Octavia's treasure of pins and butterfly clips had found a temporary home on her nightstand. The gems glimmered in the light of the lone candle, next to the baby monitor.
"K", Haymitch replied in her ear. "Don't like the sound of that."
"It's about the prep team", she said. "We were talking about music and … please don't be mad but I kind of told them you're a wonderful piano player. It sort of just slipped out. We never really talk about you, at least I don't, but sometimes I get a little carried away, bragging about you."
"'Brag'?" She could practically hear him roll his eyes. "What's to brag about, sweetheart?"
Effie tsked, like he'd personally offended her.
That ridiculous man!
Worst part, it wasn't just a fishing for compliments. That she could wrap her head around and even indulge a little.
But he actually meant it. Every word.
"You're right", she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "What good have you ever done? For me? For our children? For the world at large?"
"Yeah, well", Haymitch said, unbothered. "As far as the piano's concerned, as long as I don't have to play for an audience larger than you and the twins, they can gossip all they like …"
"You're not angry?"
"Nah. Cat was bound to get outta the bag sooner or later. If not now, then surely once the kids start talkin' for real. So relax, sweetheart. Don't lose sleep over it."
Warmth flooded her chest at the sound of those words. That simple phrase. Her heart. Her face.
Oh, that sweet man.
"What?" Haymitch asked when she wouldn't speak.
"Nothing. It's just … I love the sound of your voice like this. All relaxed. Sober. It's so you. It's like …"
"Yeah, yeah, I know", Haymitch said. "'A voice that could impregnate a woman'."
Effie chuckled.
"Did I say that?"
"Many times."
"Oh." With a steady hold on the cordless phone, she tried to keep a straight face. Bit her lip against the further giggles that wanted out. "Well", she smiled, "that's not too far from the truth now, is it? I mean, you snared me with those vowels."
"Haha."
"I know I may be bias in these matters, but your voice is quite the aphrodisiac, like it or not. The dream choice for a dirty book narrator! Any woman would perk up at the sound of you in their ear."
"I most seriously beg to differ, sweetheart. Speaking from personal experience starring a certain young brat and a white-wired earpiece, I can attest that isn't true."
"Oh! God!" Effie winced once she realized what he meant. "I'm not talking about girls like Katniss! Gross! I said women. Mature women who aren't like a daughter to you!"
"I think I know what this is really about, princess. No need to beat around the bush with me. If you are so thirsty for some self-help audio to get things a-going, I will do that for you. No judgement. Weirdo."
Effie chuckled.
"How very generous of you. Oh, that reminds me!" she added. "The prep team!"
"Don't tell me they want some too …"
"No, no. But in case any of them asks: you suffer from the winter blues, south of the equator."
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry." Another giggle. "I had to come up with something. But I'm doing you a favor, really. They wanted to hook you up with some woman they know."
"Oh?"
"Silly, right?" Smiling, she gave her slender body a big cat stretch.
"Yeah", he said. "… silly …"
"Because you are not interested in hooking up with someone new", she went on. "The very thought."
"Hm …"
"That's not you. Right?"
Silence.
"Um, hello?" Effie's smile slowly shrunk. "You still there?"
"Sorry."
"Why so quiet, all of a sudden? Now that we agree for once?"
Silence.
"Hello?" she exclaimed. "Say something! Are you telling me you are interested? In dating someone new, I mean? You're not, are you? You don't date."
"No …" Haymitch paused. "I mean … not usually but … couldn't hurt to see what's out there, I guess. They can't all be like Mrs. Bitch or Gloria, right? Why not give it a shot? See what happens. If I miss the moon, at least I'll land among the stars."
Now, Effie Trinket had never been pushed into a freezing mid-winter lake, but if it ever were to happen, she reckoned it would feel something like this.
Sitting up in bed, her lips trembled. She willed her voice to be steady – indifferent – when she said,
"That's certainly … new information. I for one have never heard you speak of this before. Like … ever."
"Yeah, well, a man can have a change of heart, can't he? I'm actually glad you brought it up, cause I've been thinkin' about it. Not all day, every day but … I'm still a pretty decent-lookin' guy, and I'm in the Capitol all the time anyway so if Flavius knows some nice, non-neurotic girl who's looking for a little something-something, then … yeah! Sounds pretty good. None too old though. Be a pal, Eff, make sure? 25, 26. 30 tops! Don't wanna waste time on someone already halfway through their golden years."
"I see!" Effie spat. Voice sharp. Tears had pooled in her eyes all throughout Haymitch's speech. Tears of rage that only fueled her response. "Then why don't I just give Flavius your number then?! I know he'll be thrilled to shoulder the role of matchmaker. How splendid! How marvelous! Next time you visit you don't even have to stay under the same roof as decrepit old me anymore! Now you can sleep over at your girlfriend's house! What a neat little bonus for you!"
"Eff, I was just …"
"Don't you 'Eff' me!" A tear rolled down her cheek and Effie wiped it away with a furious hand. "And don't bother inviting me to your wedding either!" she yelled and her voice cracked at the end. "Goodbye!"
And she jammed the red "end call" button. Turned her back to the phone, violently.
Lying on her side, breaths short and hot, another treacherous tear rolled down her nose and she punched the mattress with her fist. Hated him for making her resort to such savage, childlike behavior.
Not five seconds later, the phone rang up. Buzzed against her mahogany nightstand, in the most annoying way possible.
Effie ignored it. But the phone just rang and rang. Traveled with the vibrations, heading for the edge of the nightstand. She knew, without looking.
Finally, she could not take it anymore.
"What?" she cussed into the mouthpiece. "What do you want, Haymitch? It's late!"
"Oh m'god …", sighed Haymitch on the other end. "You're seriously no fun, are ya sweetheart? I cannot believe that after all these years, you're still this easily fooled. What a drama queen."
Effie huffed through her nose.
"I've had quite enough insults for one night, thank you very much. As you've so kindly informed me: I am far too old for all this!"
"No, no, not old, Eff", Haymitch said. "But you're no spring chicken either. None of us are."
"And you called me neurotic", she whined. "Me! Haymitch, I am deeply hurt, you hear! Who knows when I'll ever recover? And after everything I did for you! Because in case you forgot, I'm the woman who gave you not only one but two children!"
"For which I'm grateful." The mirth in Haymitch's voice only increased her annoyance tenfold. "But you gotta admit you kinda are, princess. Neurotic, I mean."
"If I am, I totally earned it!" Effie bit off. "I've had to deal with you for the better part of my adult life, haven't I?"
She sniffed, agitated because more tears were welling up, threatening to seal her throat shut.
"Next thing I know, you'll tell me I'm getting ugly."
"Nah", Haymitch said. "That will never happen."
"Hmph!" Effie stared sullenly up at the ceiling. "You're a grown man", she muttered. "You can date someone if you want to, but let me give you a piece of warning first. From one friend to another. If you call Flavius, there's no getting out of it later. He will find you a woman so, unless you're absolutely, positively sure …"
"Oh, just bury me!" Haymitch groaned.
"Well, clearly there's a part of you who wants …"
"I really really really don't! I just barely wanted you in my life, why would I want some stranger?"
"But you said …"
"It was a joke, Effs!" he all but shouted into the phone. "Ever heard of those? Not often, I reckon. Your sense of humor's the size of a walnut. Fuck!"
Effie scoffed.
"A joke?" she said, unconvinced.
"Yes! You want it tattooed on my forearm next? Jeez, Eff. I expected more from you. How long have you known me? A hundred years? Two?"
Effie pursed her lips.
"Well, you were very convincing. And you're a beautiful, smart, funny man. What was I supposed to think?"
"Er, that I'm not interested in some Capitol girl, half my age? It's cute you still think there's hope. That some perky, doe-eyed 25 something old would look at me and say anything other than: 'Hard pass!' No one out there, dumb enough to date me. No one but you, I guess."
"Oh, of course they are", Effie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Like getting one of her Haymitch-induced headaches. "Or at least they would be if you weren't so obnoxious all the time."
Next thing she knew, her ear almost popped and she held the phone half a meter away. At a safe distance from Haymitch's roaring laughter.
"What's so funny?" she asked. "Goodnight, Haymitch."
"Hell no." Haymitch contained his chuckles just long enough to get the words out. "Night's just gettin' started, sweetheart!"
Author's note: Poor Effie, haha! Still as jealous, if not more, as she was in chapter 4! Hope you liked it! And now they'll "spend the night together". How do you think that'll go? Tell me in the comments! This is probably the last chapter of ToS in 2024, so happy holidays! You guys are the best and see you next year!