"Hey! The sun might be down, but I've got one more surprise for everyone!"
At Miu's announcement, Kokichi shot Shuichi a curious glance, but Shuichi only gave him an excited look back. Clearly, whatever this surprise was, Shuichi seemed quite proud of it. That only made Kokichi more curious to turn his attention to behind him, where Miu stood holding a bunch of those odd headphones in her hands.
"C'mon, you gotta be over here to see it! These cords only go so far!"
With that, everyone followed along, a light curiosity settling over the quiet murmurings that occurred in response. They all picked up their cushions, standing up for likely the first time since before sunset, causing some to yawn and stretch. After a slight stillness, they all moved over to sit around Miu, where the inventor passed the odd devices out to everyone, giving the last pair to Shuichi.
Kokichi examined them and found there was an odd, clear part at the top that could be pulled down, as well as adjustable arms so that they would fit nearly anyone. He looked up to see Miu messing with some sort of device that had all the headphones corded right into it.
The inventor stood back up shortly, taking her own pair of headphones to sit next to Kiibo. "Alright, I won't tell you what's gonna happen, 'cause, duh, it's a surprise, but I will tell ya' that you wanna pull that visor in front of your eyes and if the headphones get too loud, just put your hands over your ears, these will muffle noise instead of just pushing the sound closer, 'cause, y'know, it adds to the experience!"
After allowing for some more curious examination of the headphones, Miu spoke back up, "Now you can pop those suckers right on and just wait for the show to start, alright? I swear the gorgeous girl genius will leave you absolutely jaw-dropped yet again!" After a final laugh, she put her headphones on and pulled down the visor as she had instructed.
Everyone was quick to put their own headphones on, Kokichi included. He had to mess with how the headphones sat on his head before pulling down the visor. The visor didn't change anything at all, simply being transparent. He looked at Shuichi curiously, who had his eyes fixed on the sky. Clearly, he knew of the surprise already.
Kokichi followed his gaze, but when he still found nothing, he turned to observe the others, who were looking around curiously as well, except for Miu who wore a wide grin as she stared excitedly at the sky.
So he focused back in on the night sky expectantly. For a moment, he almost let out a disappointed sigh and turned to ask just what they were watching for, but then… He heard it. It seemed that everyone else did, as he also heard a nearly collective inhale of anticipation from the others when an oddly familiar whine sounded, and only moments later…
'Boom!' The thundering sound that echoed through the headphones sounded so real, almost as if it had actually been there, but Kokichi knew that wasn't the case. Still, the exploding lights that flashed in front of his eyes made him nearly move the visor from his eyes as if to second guess the fakeness of the display.
Then, shortly after there was another whine, and another whine, and… 'Boom! … Boom!'
First it was blue and red that erupted into a beautiful, sparkling explosion against the backdrop of the night sky, then a second light appeared right in front of his eyes, blossoming green in majestic, twinkling lights in time with the distant sounds of explosions.
Fireworks, Kokichi realised, Miu made us a fake fireworks show… Despite the description, it didn't feel fake or look fake or sound fake at all. Clearly, the inventor had yet again shown her genius just as she had proclaimed. And… Miu may not have been the best sight in his eyes, the fireworks were truly deserving of being called gorgeous.
Mesmerising, they were. Kokichi couldn't take his eyes off the colours that took up his vision. The whine of the rocket launch and the explosions echoed in his ears, sounding so, so real. Once, he even found himself lifting his hands to cover his ears, testing the sound muffling feature that Miu had spoken of, and… It worked. It sounded as if he was really there and really covering his ears from the real sound.
He could hear some of the others exclaim when the big fireworks started to appear, gorgeous white sparks that fell and left a trail resembling a willow's branches, sparks that exploded into smaller sparks of another colour and then into even smaller sparks, huge explosions of several colours all raining down nearly as one. That was only the start of the variety that filled the darkness of the sky.
They started appearing in the sky in quick succession, truly captivating Kokichi behind the previously clear visor; he had nearly forgotten the visor was even there as he smiled uncontrollably at the excitement of all the colours and sounds. What made it even more realistic, was that with each movement of his head, the fireworks only appeared if he looked at where they had started in the same spot of the night sky, so he could completely look away and the light and sounds would travel appropriately.
Kokichi couldn't begin to guess how Miu could've made the headphones work in such a way, but he supposed that just showed how, despite not always being the brightest in every way, Miu truly was nothing less than the Super High School Level Inventor.
He couldn't quite remember if he had ever even seen fireworks before, maybe in his old memories he had seen them from afar once or twice, or seen them on the TV, but never had he seen them so close, so fully. The frequency at which the fireworks were fired increased steadily, likely building up to the end of the show, and Kokichi had his full focus on every sparkling display, so much so that he almost hadn't noticed the hand that had been placed on his own and the eyes that glanced at him curiously.
Shuichi's soft smile and warm gaze seemed to ask a silent question, one that Kokichi didn't even need to know what it was; he would accept it anyway. Kokichi took the man's hand in his own, enlacing their fingers as he leaned against his side, looking back out at the night sky.
Kokichi always did like surprises. This was possibly the best one he could ask for.
When the fireworks started to be launched a bit more slowly again, it was safe to assume that the show was nearing its end. All Kokichi could do was enjoy it while it lasted, he supposed. He tried to remember all the flashing colours and the various sounds that the different fireworks made, but, despite a few particularly spectacular ones, there was no way he'd be able to remember all of them.
Still, he knew he'd never forget the feeling, the spectacular sparkling lights, the booming explosions, the company of everyone experiencing the same wonder, the colours that seemed to reflect off the visor that the man beside him wore, and the absolute awe that filled him with an odd nostalgic feeling as if he was just a kid again and didn't have to be anything more.
The next firework filled the whole sky with a huge 'boom', glowing a brilliant pink before twinkling softly and fading away. Then… the whine Kokichi had been expecting to come afterwards never came. That had been the final firework. A moment of silence sat over all of them, waiting in suspense as if there may be one last one, but that was truly it.
Kokichi didn't know who had started it, but applause started to sound. He was still in a bit of awe shock, but clapped his hands along when Shuichi joined in. There were a few whoops and whistles as Miu stood up, looking both quite proud and a bit embarrassed by the attention as well.
The inventor came by and collected the headphones, giving cocky sounding 'you're welcome!'s to those who thanked her or complimented the show when she came by. Kokichi supposed she was allowed to feel prideful, he knew he would if he was able to do something as amazing as that.
He had to let go of Shuichi's hand and move from where he had been resting against his side to take off the device and hand it back to Miu, but he didn't mind. Something told him that definitely wouldn't be the last time they'd be able to sit closely like that.
The others began to stand up and Kokichi wordlessly did, heading over to where Kiibo stood with a hilarious look of shock stuck on his face. He poked at the robot's metal shoulder, "Hey, are you malfunctioning? Everything alright there in your robot brain?"
Kiibo smiled wide, unable to contain his excitement, "Ouma-kun! Oh, this has been the best surprise party ever! I can't believe I doubted you for a second back in the stairwell! I can't believe this was… all for me. I mean… did you guys not do this before I was rebuilt?"
Kokichi grinned, taking the easy opportunity to lie, "Oh, no, we did this plenty of times without you, Kiiboy! I mean, this one was subpar compared to the other ones we've thrown. You should've seen the fireworks Iruma-chan put on last time, these ones were pretty boring, honestly."
The robot blinked in confusion for a moment before realisation struck his face. "You're lying, aren't you?"
"Huh? Me? Lying?" He feigned innocence, "I can't believe you'd make such an accusation! You're such a bully, Kiibo!"
Kiibo just made that dramatic roll of his eyes as he responded, "I know I'm nothing of the sort, you're just a liar, Ouma-kun."
Quickly switching to his usual grin, he let out a small laugh, "Yeah, I guess you're right!"
Miu walked over to them, looking nearly as proud as she had looked about Kiibo's creation, hands on her hips, cocky grin on her face. Kokichi let it slide despite usually making fun of her when she looked that way. "Hah! How's that for the gorgeous girl genius? I bet I damn near knocked your socks off!"
Kokichi threw his hands up behind his head, "It wasn't that great at all, actually. Super boring!"
But the inventor burst out laughing, clearly not believing that as the truth for a second, "Don't lie to me, ya' little shit! I saw ya' smiling and cuddling up to your boyfriend as if that was the first fireworks show you've ever seen! And probably the best you'll ever get in this hell of a city, hah!"
So… Clearly Miu wasn't hurt at all by his insistence to lie to her, seeing right through it and only using it as an opportunity to boast more. She deserved to boast and be proud, he was glad she was that way, even if her pride got to be a bit much sometimes.
In some ways, being a little over-proud could be better than being so humble and doubtful to the point of feeling worthless, incapable, or undeserving. How someone like Shuichi could put down his own skill… it could tick Kokichi off sometimes. Though, so could Miu's… Miu-ness.
Even Kokichi's own self-doubt, it only came from a place of moral doubt. He could manipulate and use, get his hands on dirty secrets, plan out extensive plans with millions of possibilities, and lie his way out of nearly everything… His issue was with the fact that that served no purpose to him now. He didn't want to do the same things he did before, he wanted a place with the all of them.
Everyone started to help pack away everything that had been set up before Kokichi and Kiibo had gotten there, so Kiibo helped Miu with her things and Kokichi wandered to where Shuichi was helping Kaito fold up the table.
"Heh… I don't know if I'm the right choice for this, Momota-kun…" Shuichi strained slightly as he held the vertical table in his arms. "I think Harukawa-san or Chabashira-san would be a much better choice…!"
Kaito just laughed, "Nonsense, Shuichi! I believe in you! I know you've been working on those arms!"
The man looked a bit ashamed by the comment, awkwardly smiling in between looks of strain, "I don't know, Momota-kun… I mean, brief weekly training because you and Harukawa-san invite me doesn't really count as 'working'..."
Kokichi simply watched from afar, observing as Shuichi looked so serious with focus. That face of his… Kokichi loved the man's knitted brow and taut frown almost as much as his soft smiles and rosy cheeks.
Shuichi's frustration… It was difficult to make him truly upset, especially with something practically harmless, since he wasn't the type to get angry over nothing. Often, Kokichi only saw the man's concentrated frustration, blaming it on a detective's focus, but part of him was drawn to that embarrassed frown of his that did come from frustration, just… a different, harder to reach one. The thought of being the one to bring out that frustration, to be able to use it…
Kokichi found too late that he had been biting down on the inside of his mouth and cursed silently at the slight sting of pain. He shook his head from getting so carried away in thoughts of Shuichi before approaching the two men now trying to lift the folded table. He put his hands up behind his head, calling attention to his presence with a teasing wolf-whistle.
Shuichi's head whipped in Kokichi's direction, causing him to completely lose focus, resulting in the table… no longer being in his hands. It hit the ground with a clank and Kaito let out a surprised yelp at the sudden halt. Red-faced with shame, Shuichi apologised to Kaito first, then just looked at Kokichi with a confused frown. His furrowed brows and questioning eyes seemed to be asking, 'What was that for?'
He just grinned innocently, "Sorry to bother you two, I was just appreciating the hard work, y'know?" (He didn't miss the way Shuichi looked away in embarrassment when he said it.)
"Seriously, Ouma?" Kaito asked, looking a bit annoyed, "I don't see you helping anyone, why don't you go find something to do instead of bothering my sidekick?"
Kokichi started to feel a bit bad when Shuichi fell into a deeper shame at Kaito's words; why'd Shuichi have to feel bad for Kokichi's actions? Still, the man spoke up against Kaito, "It's fine, Momota-kun… Really, uh, it's not so much his fault. I can barely carry it anyway."
Shuichi took it upon himself to walk away at that moment, going to Gonta who was walking past to the stairwell and holding a box of things, seemingly asking to trade tasks, ending up with said box in his arms and with Gonta happily joining Kaito with the table. Then, he returned, wandering back to Kokichi's side as everyone else was already heading into the stairwell.
He gave the man an odd look, examining that box he had taken from Gonta, noticing the slight strain in the man's arms, then cocked a grin. "That box is heavier than the table, isn't it?"
Wordlessly, he just looked away awkwardly, clearly too ashamed to admit that that was, in fact, the truth.
"Awh, gave up carrying that table just so you could walk with me, huh? Or… Did you just want to catch me before heading back down to home base while we're… y'know… all alone?" Kokichi snickered at his own teasing words, already knowing how the man would respond.
Shuichi furrowed his brows, letting out a small sigh, still avoiding Kokichi's gaze, "I do want to talk with you, but we shouldn't be out here, I mean… It's cold and everyone's going to wonder where we are."
Kokichi hummed. "It is cold, isn't it? Is that why you wanted to catch me, huh?" Teasing aside, Shuichi's presence was a bit odd, he stood there waiting for Kokichi it seemed, despite the slight annoyance clear in his face. If he was really in that much of a rush to get to the stairwell, wouldn't he have started walking?
He opened his mouth, only letting out an "I…" as he often did when frozen like that. Kokichi didn't miss how his hands tightened on that box and how he swallowed as if… nervous? Had he really guessed Kokichi's intentions already? Boo, he thought, It's no fun if he thinks he knows already. Still, it's cute how easy he is to mess with…
Kokichi let out a small laugh, changing his plans then. The more he looked at the man's face, the more he decided he didn't want to kiss him while he still had that ridiculous face paint anyway. So, when he did step a bit closer to him, he simply reached out a finger to poke the black heart centred on Shuichi's nose, not caring how it smudged anymore.
He immediately stepped a few steps back once the embarrassment went flush against Shuichi's cheeks, laughing again as he wiped the black face-paint that was on his pointer finger on his own nose instead. "Now we match!"
Shuichi looked only further shocked by the action that followed the touch of his nose. "Ouma-kun–! Why would you—?" He cut himself off when Kokichi just grinned mischievously in response. He knew Shuichi would only jump to conclusions at the action.
Kokichi just continued to grin, "Call it payback! 'Cause now you're going to have to wait now like I had to wait all day to see you." He suddenly turned away and started to walk ahead toward the staircase entrance, knowing already how the other would respond.
"'Wait'? Wait for what?" He tried to catch up to Kokichi, "What do you—?"
He cut Shuichi off, by looking back briefly and giving him a playful grin. "I know exactly what you were thinking, detective. Like I told Harukawa-chan earlier, I've got you wrapped around my finger, don't I?" He didn't even need to know Shuichi's response, he just looked ahead and made his way to the staircase, the other following only a few steps behind him.
Kokichi entered the staircase and started running down the stairs to catch up to the others, not caring about being separated from Shuichi for the brief moment. As he figured, Miu was the last one through the doors before them so he showed up beside her and grinned wide. "Hey, whore!"
"Oh, fuck off, Ouma!" She looked at him, then seemed to immediately notice the black smudge on his nose. "What the hell kinda freaky shit were you two getting up to out there? How did you even get to Angie's paints? I doubt she left them out th—"
His grin didn't change or falter as he stepped down the stairs next to Miu, and, a moment later of the latter staring at him with a flabbergasted look on her face, footsteps echoed from behind them, leading way to a beyond flustered Shuichi.
"Ouma-kun…! You shouldn't run down the stairs like that, you could get hurt…" The colour flushed on his face was mostly likely due to the sudden running, but Kokichi could tell just by looking at him that he was still thinking about the teasing words.
Miu glanced between the two of them, not saying a word, though Kokichi was glad for this, because, knowing her, if she had said anything it would end up being even more vulgar than her question before. Eventually, the blonde just looked annoyed by Kokichi's unchanging grin and purposely ran ahead on the stairs to talk with someone else.
Shuichi didn't say anything for a moment, but eventually opened his mouth to ask in a hushed voice, "Did you say something to her? She… She looked pretty freaked out. I know she can be dramatic, but…"
Kokichi had since dropped his grin and only gave the man a quick blank glance before shrugging. "She's just dramatic is all. I mean, don't you know someone like her is bound to… jump to conclusions?" He held off his teasing grin until he said the words, letting out a laugh when Shuichi just averted his eyes and furrowed his brows as if regretting asking.
After a brief moment of silence between them, he decided to give Shuichi a break, and grinned a bit more casually. "Sooo… You never got the chance to talk to me, y'know, before I started messing with you, but I could tell there was something you wanted to say."
The man blinked in surprise, looking a bit relieved that the teasing was seemingly over and a content, resting expression finally finding its place on his face. "Ah, well… I wanted to know what you thought of the party. Sorry if leaving you out of the planning was a bit cruel but… think of it like giving you what you gave me. You and Kiibo-kun surprised me so… I wanted to surprise you, even if Iruma-san was saying it was all for Kiibo-kun."
Kokichi scoffed, because of course. He was running out of reactions, he knew that. He couldn't help it though, how stupid was that thought process? He hadn't really been able to surprise Shuichi, that had completely failed, but… Did Shuichi seriously only see it as Kokichi trying to surprise him, still?
"It was… an… okay surprise."
Shuichi let out a small huff of laughter, corners of his mouth raising in a small smile. "Alright, I guess I'll… just have to try to make it a better surprise next time, then."
He looked at the man oddly, examining his face for a brief moment. Shuichi was jokingly going along with his lies, now, was he? It'd be funny if it didn't remind Kokichi yet again of his constant dilemma with getting used to how reality had turned out. Because…
There Kokichi was. Kokichi was walking down the awkwardly long flight of stairs that led to the abandoned collection of basements that he and his thirteen classmates had furnished into a livable space after escaping a simulated killing game where the classmate he had indirectly killed was now his best friend and the detective he had fallen for all the way back then was now starting to do the same in turn for him.
Not to mention, they were leaving from a surprise party meant for the robot that Kokichi had, kind of, lowkey-highkey, bullied, who was now his friend and… chess rival.
He wanted to return to old, repetitive thoughts of, Why now do they all treat me differently? Why now do they forgive me? Why now is it that they treat me like everyone else? But… No. Multiple times just that very day had it only been proven…
"Everyone forgive you. Everyone forgive you a long time ago."
Maybe Shuichi's extra caring look in his eyes was newfound, maybe that truly had only come to full bloom as of late, but… everyone else? With the exception of Maki, no one had really bothered him or looked at him sourly because of the game in a long while. No… It wasn't anyone else changing at all… it was…
It was Kokichi. Steadily, he… he wanted to believe he could. Could he change? Could he truly accept the place where he stood next to Shuichi? Accept his place at the dinner table? Accept his place beside and with the others? Accept the forgiveness that he had been given long ago? Maybe… Maybe he could. No, he would.
The stairwell's exit was met by small sighs of relief by several, happily going through and setting some of the boxes and things from the party in the open space outside the stairwell for the moment. Of course, that was because it had become apparent when they all saw the false moonlight of home base that it was quite late and far past the usual time everyone retreated to the bedrooms.
Shuichi was the final one through the doorway and Kokichi watched as he set the heavy box down with a slight groan, looking finally glad to be putting it down. When he looked drowsily over at Kokichi, he only gave him a slight nod as if to say, 'Don't worry, I haven't forgotten.'
Kokichi followed a couple of the other guys into the bedroom, heading to the shared dresser to quickly grab pyjamas. He hadn't really paid much attention to Shuichi, as he was pretty curious to get to the bathroom to see his face paint, especially after Shuichi's earlier comment about it being 'cute'.
Some of the other guys had opted to just change in their closed-curtain bunks, so, because of that and Kirumi offering to clean face-paints for others with the kitchen sink, the bathroom was still open. Kokichi slipped in, not yet caring about closing the door since he was only using the sink at the moment.
After flicking the light switch, his eyes were immediately drawn to his face in the mirror above the sink. The black smudge on his nose was hard to miss, so part of him felt some pride in that, even if the display had only really been for Shuichi to overreact and for Miu to jump to conclusions. But the second most noticeable thing…
Two chequered hearts sat on his cheeks, along with a wild array of tiny black and white dots scattered haphazardly across his face. Huh, was his main thought. It was certainly… a choice of design. Still, it wasn't near as embarrassing as it could've been, and it was all just for fun for that one night anyway; he was planning on washing it away in only a moment after all.
"I still think it suits you."
The voice took Kokichi a bit by surprise as a second person joined him in front of the bathroom sink. Shuichi was clearly very eager to wash away his own face-paint, putting the clothes in his hands down on the counter and closing the door behind himself mindlessly.
Kokichi only scoffed in return, not caring to say anything to that before the man turned on the sink and grabbed a cloth to wash his face with.
He only watched with curious intent as Shuichi focused on his reflection to make sure to get his embarrassing face-paint off. And, of course, it was only respectfully that he took note of how Shuichi was no longer wearing the jacket he had been wearing earlier, revealing a white button-up that the man likely had messily rolled up the sleeves of just before he had entered the room.
It was like every other time he had watched as the man did something so casual and regular; the immersion was only broken when he realised Shuichi could very clearly see him staring at him in the mirror, the reflection of golden eyes suddenly flickering to meet Kokichi's gaze for a split second.
In a manner he hoped was casual, he just turned his head away, acting as if he was instead looking at himself in the mirror and not at the other. It was quite amusing, honestly. He had left the door open and Shuichi had simply invited himself in without a thought, closing the door behind himself as if there was nothing to be misinterpreted about sharing the closed bathroom space with Kokichi.
Shuichi finally shut the water off, placing the washcloth down close to Kokichi, then looking as if he was about to leave without saying anything more, but he definitely caught Kokichi's eyes on him again and stopped at that.
"Is something the matter?" He asked it so casually, so normally, yet it made Kokichi feel so damn confused.
It was beginning to feel real. Despite the fact that they had yet to speak about the night before, those words were starting to feel real, and Kokichi didn't know how to feel. He should be happy that Shuichi could talk and look at him the way he did, after pining for far too long, but he struggled to fully accept it. How many times had he had to tell himself it could never be? How many times had he categorised Shuichi as an out of reach ideal in his head? Yet…
"Are you nervous? Um, about talking, I mean." The man scratched at the back of his head, fingers dipped into that navy blue sea of hair for just a moment, an awkward and somewhat nervous look of his own clear on his face.
Shuichi's look went serious as he looked down at the sink, "I know I don't get the right as much as you do, but I suppose I am, too. I want this, though. I… I need this, or else it might kill me having to wait any longer." Then, his face softened as he turned his head to the side to meet Kokichi's eyes, "Though, I can be patient if it means talking tonight."
Kokichi didn't know how to reply, only looking blankly at the man. He thought the same though. Having to wait any longer would probably kill him too, that is. (Kokichi was well aware it was quite the melodramatic statement, which was only exemplified by the shock value that Shuichi had been the one to say it.)
The man stepped away from the sink, grabbing his pyjamas from the counter and leaving the room, though looked back one last time before leaving. "Um, if it's alright with you, meet me on the couch when you're done, alright?" Then he left the room, making sure to shut the door when he did.
Kokichi only stood around in surprise for a moment longer, before he found himself motivated to wash the face-paint from his face as he had watched Shuichi do a moment before. Finally, he was finally going to have that conversation with Shuichi. He was finally going to be forced to accept the fact that Shuichi was a fool to have fallen for him.
Again, despite his worries, most of his thoughts were overtaken by an odd excitement. It's just like a carnival ride, he reminded himself. Scary, but worth it for the thrill. Isn't that all feelings were? All that relationships were? Of course, he knew there was so much more than that, but if he could convince himself it was simple for even just a second, it would make it all so much easier.
Once the black and white paint was gone from his face, Kokichi moved on to changing into his chequered pyjamas.
Kokichi's mind was buzzing the whole time. Fuzzy images and memories of the night before kept flashing in his head. Shuichi's face, Shuichi's words, Shuichi's warmth— Maybe it would finally start to make sense, maybe it would finally feel completely real in his mind, instead of a dream-ish memory.
"I think I've… fallen for you, Ouma-kun."
But… Kokichi had fallen so, so long ago. It had started as the small act of noticing the quiet boy hidden behind his cap and the friendly pianist, then realising just how much he fit into his title of detective with his sharp eyes and silent observations, and eventually seeing light shed upon those glimpses of confidence when he took off that emo cap.
He remembered the terrible, sickly feeling he had felt when he realised he had fallen in the middle of that horrid game. He remembered staring at the picture on his whiteboard and wanting to find reason to suspect the boy as he had done with everyone else, but unable to find a single reason, blinded by admiration instead of doubt. He remembered watching the boy become friends with Kaito, knowing that the naive astronaut was at least better company than Kokichi could be in such a situation.
He remembered Shuichi's hands bandaging his own, he remembered that silent hand raised for him to take it, and he remembered telling himself to be satisfied with the bandage on his finger as that was already far too close to the sun. He remembered bottling up his feelings and keeping them under lock and discarded key so that he could do what he thought was the only thing he could do as a supreme leader stuck in such a terrible situation.
And… He remembered waking up. He remembered seeing Shuichi and feeling sickly despair at the fact that not even his death could truly rid him of the foolish feelings he had held for the boy and his golden eyes.
Each step upon the stone floor seemed to echo in his head along with the millions of thoughts and memories that had come back to him so suddenly. He couldn't see the couch in the living area from the hall because of the area's centrepiece, but his heartbeat only quickened knowing Shuichi would be there.
Nervousness. Nervousness shook with every step he took, but he was so close, too close to give in to cowardice.
It was redundant to point out how stunning Shuichi looked simply sitting on the couch in his striped pyjamas, yet Kokichi found he made the observation every time his eyes laid upon the man as if it was surprising at all just how beautiful he was each and every time he saw him.
Shuichi met his eyes with an awkward but soft smile resting on his face as he sat with his back against the couch's arm instead of the backrest. It seemed like, despite his constant avoidance of eye contact, he wanted them to be facing each other because of the importance of the conversation.
Still, when Kokichi sat down facing the man, he attempted to make a teasing joke, "Soo… What has my beloved Saihara–chan invited me to the couch in the middle of night for?" His teasing voice wasn't enough to hide his nervousness, he found, so the joke came out a bit weak.
A barely audible huff of amusement left the man's nose. "Hey, like I said, it's alright to be nervous. Um…" He fidgeted with his hands for a moment before holding them out. "Would this help? I, uh… Oh."
Kokichi gladly took the invitation, resting his hands in Shuichi's. So warm… They were still so warm and so, so soft. In his mind, he would never deserve any of it, but… he supposed he wouldn't let that keep him from accepting it anymore. Feeling guilty for Shuichi's warmth and caring… what even was the point of that? He could barely remember, really.
Shuichi looked at the other's hands for a moment, specifically the left one still in bandages from a few days before. "You're still wearing the same bandages? You haven't had them changed or checked or anything?"
He shrugged lightly, "I don't know why I would do that. I figured they'd come off eventually and the cuts would be healed by then."
The man just hummed softly, only examining Kokichi's hands for a moment longer before he took a deep breath and finally met Kokichi's eyes. "You… You said you were planning on running away. And… Before I stopped you, you said you felt out of place. You said Kiibo-kun… replaced you. Is it because of Kiibo-kun? Is that why you were running away?"
The conversation was really happening, huh? Shuichi had been quick to get straight to the first thing that seemed to be bugging him, and… of course it was a question of motives.
Kokichi let out a small huff of laughter as he averted his eyes in what he hoped was well-hidden shame.
Shame. Shuichi asked his reasons, his motives, as if it wasn't clear he had been overreacting then. It wasn't Kiibo's fault Kokichi had thought about running, and it surely wasn't Shuichi's. No, he had no one to blame but himself. Still, he couldn't let shame keep Shuichi from knowing the truth, as much as he hated having to admit it.
"You're holding me on too high of a pedestal if you really think I had some sort of reasonable motive, detective." He let out a small sigh as he smiled almost bitterly, "I was running away for the same reason I counted myself as no better than dead in that killing game…"
Shuichi took in a barely noticeable breath of shock at the admission, but then, after a moment to process, he nodded slightly, as if understanding. "Guilt," he stated with near certainty. "Was it… guilt?"
"Ding, ding, ding," He replied with unfitting unenthusiasm. "Spot on with your deductions as always…"
The other didn't respond verbally right away, but his hold on Kokichi's hands slightly tightened in a reassuring squeeze. "I… I had a feeling that might've been it," he admitted. He paused as he carefully thought out his words, wearing that serious expression of his. "Can I ask… Was it about the accident? Or… everything?"
Kokichi wished he could say it was only about the accident. He wished that that was the only thing that still held him in such a tight hold, but it wasn't. Still, a year later… he couldn't quite accept it. Maybe it would be like that forever. Maybe he'd never truly forgive himself, never truly get past that guilt; maybe that was his punishment alongside the pain he occasionally felt the need to put himself through for it.
He looked up to meet Shuichi's gaze with a blank face. "You already know, don't you?"
Shuichi looked down at their hands, a look like shame crossing his face as he slightly nodded again. "I… I know it's not the same, but… I feel guilty too, sometimes. I know it doesn't make much sense for me to, and I know it's not the same because what you did was…" He trailed off as if he couldn't bring himself to say it. …Even after a year.
Terrible. Vile. Unforgivable. Kokichi thought sourly, And yet…
The man continued, looking back up, "You played the part well. Really well. But… you don't have to play that part ever again. We know you won't, Ouma-kun. Or, before you can correct my choice of words and say we couldn't possibly know that, then… I trust you won't, Ouma-kun."
Kokichi blinked. He wanted to shake his head, to shrink away from the words as if such a stupid truth could hurt him. He wanted to step back like he had when the man had confessed his feelings only the night before, but… Kokichi knew these words were coming, he had predicted them, he had known Shuichi would try and relieve him of his guilt, even if just a little, in that way.
He looked right into Shuichi's sure eyes and the other didn't glance away, not for a few moments. That was enough. Those couple seconds were enough to see all the certainty and honesty that the man carried in his words, in his hands, in his waiting gaze.
A small smile came over his lips, something meant to look a bit more genuine. "Alright," Kokichi replied with a soft hum of consideration. "But you better make sure to keep an eye on me anyway, Mr. Detective. You never know when I could be up to no good, y'know."
Shuichi met his eyes briefly with disbelief, then nodded briskly. "I… I will. If that can ease any bit of guilt, then… I will."
Kokichi scoffed at the genuinity in such silly words. "Ease my guilt?" He thought aloud with an amused look to hide his bewilderment. "What about your guilt, huh? The guilt for having everything put on your shoulders for all this time? The guilt that makes you think you have to be some sort of hero?"
Just as Kokichi expected, Shuichi was caught off-guard by the response, remaining in a bemused silence for a moment before he actually opened his mouth to reply. "Does that… really matter right now?"
Without missing a beat, Kokichi nodded. "Of course it does. Both of the falls, yours and mine, were of mixed guilt, weren't they?"
The other opened his mouth to interject, but Kokichi continued, "There were less sure, but safer ways you could've stopped me from falling, but you couldn't dare risk having to watch another classmate die. And… What else would've motivated you to go back to the roof to stop me from leaving? What else would make you spit out just any old truth you could find to make me stay? Including the truth that had caused me to step back?"
Shuichi quickly understood what Kokichi was trying to say. He nodded, though not without shame and guilt on his face. "I get it," he said finally, smiling gently although looking a bit defeated. "You're right. I can't. I can't lose anyone. I don't know what I'd do. I… I suppose I did some overreacting of my own, heh. It… It all goes back to that worry, huh?"
The man looked up, meeting Kokichi's eyes with a questioning look. Kokichi couldn't quite put to words what the question was, but he could see all the unsaid words in Shuichi's golden eyes. The two of them had only covered some of what needed to be said. Shuichi needed to say more. Kokichi just smiled as he looked back expectantly.
"I… I'm used to being worried," Shuichi started, "I know that it's something I can't really help. But…" He let out the breath he had been holding, looking down. "My worry as of late for you specifically… It was getting a bit out of hand, I know…" He trailed off for a brief moment.
"I thought that's all it was," Shuichi let out a small huff of amusement as he explained further, "Wanting to see you out before you left for the night market, I thought it was only my worry getting the best of me after finding out you had been being a bit careless before Kaito found you. I kept thinking about all the terrible things that could happen, and… I almost believed them. That was how I started thinking… what if you didn't return?"
Shuichi looked up at Kokichi's eyes, as if having to make sure he truly was there, looking a bit eased when he found that was the case as his eyes dropped to their hands again.
Kokichi smiled. He didn't want to make Shuichi feel bad for opening up like he was, but… Kokichi knew. He saw Shuichi's worry many times over the past few days. Shuichi had told him how the day in the alley had sparked that feeling he had, as… ridiculous as it was. Kokichi knew in the way Shuichi looked at him that everything he had said had been the truth.
The man went to open his mouth, to continue overexplaining every little thing, likely to avoid overwhelming Kokichi with the immediate confession like he had on the roof, but… Kokichi hadn't spent a whole day mentally preparing himself for the moment only for Shuichi's nervousness and worry to prolong everything so unnecessarily. So Kokichi spoke first.
"I know, Saihara-chan."
Clearly shocked, Shuichi's eyes darted up to meet Kokichi's. "What? What do you mean?"
He smiled and let out a huff of laughter, "I know how you've worried about me, and I know you don't want to hurt me, but you can get straight to the point, y'know." He averted his eyes as more drowsy and hushed words started to form, unplanned, on his lips, "I've waited allll day for you, Saihara-chan. For this moment. Don't tell me that you aren't dying to tell me, that you aren't holding your breath to find out what I'll say in return. …I know you want me."
Shuichi, as predictable as ever, went pink in the face at Kokichi's accusations, hands tightening up for a brief, unaware moment. "S-Sorry, I…" His thumbs brushed over the back of Kokichi's hands lightly as he struggled to find the right response. "I do," he finally admitted, with furrowed brows and a small frown. "I just… I can't just say that, though… Can I?"
Kokichi laughed quietly, "Why couldn't you?"
His face softened as he pondered over the question. "I…" He sighed, "I don't know. I suppose I just… I wanted it to be more special."
Special? Kokichi thought, only amused by the man's sappiness. Why am I surprised? Of course Shuichi would be worried about something being meaningful and all that… Still… Of everything that had happened and the man didn't think it was special enough, still? Had he forgotten everything?
"It already was, silly." Kokichi said, voicing his thoughts. "Was saving my life not special? Was the embrace under the moonlight not special? Was curling up in the armchairs not special? Was surprising me with a party and fireworks not special?" With every example, he saw shame start to grow on Shuichi's face, bowing his head slightly.
Kokichi hadn't wanted to make the man feel ashamed, he had only wanted to prove his point. After a small sigh at the man's reaction, he continued on a slightly different note. Shuichi seemed to always appreciate genuinity and sappiness, so… "I know you just meant about right now, but… This is still special, y'know. Sitting like this, returning after such an amazing party… It's plenty special to me, y'know."
Shuichi looked up, searching Kokichi's eyes and face for signs of lying or teasing or tricking, but only could blink in shock when he found none of that. A moment of thought later, he smiled softly, replying, "You're right. This is… This is pretty special, huh?" He looked down at their hands and let out a small, drowsy laugh, "Okay. I… I'll tell you then. I'll tell you how I feel, that's… That's what you want to hear, right?"
He nodded silently, looking intently at the man as if there was nothing else in the world.
After taking a deep breath, Shuichi lightly squeezed Kokichi's hands in his own before speaking. "Well, I guess I'll start by saying… I… I want to have more special moments like we've had, as long as no one gets almost hurt, of course. I… I want to get to know you better, Ouma-kun."
There it was again. That detective's certainty on his face. That sure look in those sharp eyes. The softness in the way he said Kokichi's name. The warmth in the gentle touch of his hands. For the first time, Kokichi found himself, not ashamed or embarrassed, but… glad that he had fallen for Shuichi. He wouldn't trade that moment for anything or anyone else, because… in his mind, there was no one else that could look at him the way Shuichi did.
The man continued, "This chance we got… This chance that all of us got to live without the terrible things that happened in the game… I'm so glad for it. Not just because I have all my friends back, but because it gave me the chance to see everyone as who they really are, not just as the scared children we were in the game.
"It gave me the chance to see you, Ouma-kun." He smiled awkwardly but genuinely, a small nervous laugh leaving his mouth. "I know you always kept your walls up, but… that only made me more curious about you. This year… I've been doing my best to get to know everyone, but… You're a proper mystery, Ouma-kun. Still, I've seen it. I've seen your work as a leader. I've learned enough to say…"
Shuichi trailed off briefly, taking in another deep breath as his eyes searched for the courage to say the words that were stuck in his throat. Kokichi could only smile amusedly.
"Go on, detective, just say it. I know you want to."
A huff of laughter was Shuichi's response along with a slight nod a moment later. "I… I do. I've learned enough to say that I… trust you. I want to trust you, because I see how you try to help everyone, I see the good you do. I appreciate you. And, maybe that, along with all your jokes and teasing, maybe that's why I find that I…"
The man made sure to look up to meet Kokichi's eyes as he finished his statement, "I've fallen for you, too."
The way he looked into Kokichi's eyes, the warmth, the caring, the admiration, it made Kokichi wonder just what Shuichi saw in his purple eyes. Did he see the same beauty that Kokichi never failed to find in the other's golden ones? Did he see the eyes of someone worth falling for? Did he see the eyes of someone worth… worth loving?
"So… Let's get to know each other more, okay? Let's spend more time together and… if we feel the same… I want to be able to call you someone very close to me one day, Ouma-kun."
Kokichi's head kept trying to doubt the words as they left Shuichi's mouth, but there was nothing there, nothing at all that would give any reason to do such a thing. He believed Shuichi. He believed every word because there was no reason not to. Part of him would probably never understand how the words could be the truth, but he believed them anyway.
And… Kokichi trusted Shuichi. He trusted him with his hands, and… he trusted him to never want to hurt him. If Shuichi could trust someone like Kokichi with his feelings, then… Kokichi supposed he had no other choice but to trust Shuichi with his.
His face was warm, it had been that way for a moment, no matter how much he tried to get rid of the feeling. And… It was definitely embarrassing, the whole situation made his heart beat faster than he would like to admit. Still, he managed to let out a small laugh and put on a smile that was far more genuine than he was used to showing.
"Already certain you know how I feel, are you, Saihara-chan? Well… I suppose I have to give you credit as a detective, because…" For a moment, he considered putting on a teasing grin, but he knew that it was best to keep his face as authentic as possible, even with how embarrassing it was. So, a small, and oddly real smile sat on his embarrassingly warm face as he finally said it aloud.
"I've loved you for far longer than I'd like to admit, y'know… And… That's the truth. …You've always been my beloved Saihara-chan. Though, never did I think that you'd be stupid enough to ever feel even close to the same way I feel about you."
Shuichi smiled. Because… of course he did. After all that, there was no other way he could possibly respond, was there? He looked relieved and thankful and all those things that Kokichi couldn't begin to understand. Then he laughed, that amazing laugh of his that was soft and warm just like his hands.
"'Stupid', huh? I… I don't mind that. I don't care if it makes me stupid." That's what he said, because of course he said something sappy and ridiculous and… sweet and cute like that. "I… I know where my strengths lie. And… I know my weaknesses too. I suppose, as a detective, I just… I can't help but be intrigued by a good mystery."
Kokichi scoffed at the comment, "Oh, stop it, you're being absolutely ridiculous now, Saihara-chan."
But the man didn't drop his silly smile or that look in his eyes, "Stop it? Why would I do that? I'm telling you the truth, Ouma-kun."
He knew that Shuichi was telling the truth, but that wasn't close to the problem. No, the problem was how badly the man's genuine words of intrigue and stupidity made Kokichi want him even more. Such genuine sappiness was his own weakness, he supposed. That and… late-night impulsiveness.
He had just managed to avoid such a thing earlier on the roof when he had been teasing Shuichi and decided to just smudge his face-paint instead of actually carrying through with the desire that was again lingering in the front of his mind. He wanted to be against it, to say it wasn't the right time yet, but… that would simply be wrong.
"C'mon, detective, I know it's the truth. You have to know that, too." Kokichi tried to just joke in reply, ignoring any uninvited thoughts that crossed his mind, but his eyes betrayed him, wandering just a bit from Shuichi's eyes to the pink lips that formed the man's smile.
He immediately cursed the quick glance because he saw Shuichi's face go ever so slightly pink in the silence after Kokichi's words. He hated that he had let such a stupid thought make him do such a stupid thing. He didn't want to ruin the moment they were having.
Shuichi was clearly only beginning to show interest, certainly not at the point where he would want anything serious like that yet. They were at the holding hands stage and Kokichi was letting his head get the better of him thinking about Shuichi's lips of all things. After spending the whole time sitting like they had been, Kokichi pulled his hands away from Shuichi's, purely out of embarrassment.
But… Before he could even start to shift how he was sitting or fully pull his hands back, Shuichi had stopped him unexpectedly by loosely grabbing his wrists and saying a small, "Ah, wait–!" When greeted with Kokichi's blank look of shock, he quickly let go and muttered, "Sorry, I… I didn't mean to grab you like that, it's just… You don't have to feel bad, I… I've been thinking about that too."
Kokichi gave him an odd look, his hands falling to rest in his lap, "What are you talking about?" Assuming what Shuichi was talking about would only lead to awkwardness if he was wrong, so it was easier to act clueless.
And then… the oddest of looks settled over Shuichi's face. Of course, he was wearing a usual resting face plus the same tinted cheeks of embarrassment, but… his eyes wandered a bit more than they usually did, and there was a strange twitch in his brow like he was holding back some sort of tense expression. Then, Kokichi noticed his hands fidgeting with the hem of his pyjama shirt.
"I… uh…" Shuichi started. And he continued like that, not getting a word out afterwards, face red as ever as his eyes struggled to focus on one spot and his mouth opening and shutting without forming a coherent word.
Kokichi could only laugh. It was pretty adorable, he wouldn't deny that, but… he did feel a bit bad for him. "Y'know, whatever you have to say, Saihara-chan, it can't be something I haven't already considered you saying. Haven't you figured that out about me yet, detective? There are a million things you could say that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest." (Nevermind the several instances over the past few days where Shuichi did completely surprise him.)
The man looked up and met his eyes for a moment before chuckling awkwardly and averting his eyes just to the side out of shame. "Ah, right. No, I… I know that, it's just… It's still nerve-wracking to say, I suppose." Finally letting his brows furrow, he focused on a spot of nothing just past Kokichi, looking quite in thought for a moment.
Shuichi seemed like he would stay like that for much longer, but, thankfully, he only needed a couple seconds before, somewhat surprisingly, muttering in response, "I… I saw that look, you… You were looking at my… my lips, right?"
There it is, the detective's five-star observation, he thought sarcastically. It was far too late for Kokichi to lie, so he just shrugged with a teasing grin, "Hm, I dunno, you tell me, Mr. Detective."
A thoughtful hum and a moment of silence more and Shuichi looked up at Kokichi with that serious look, (despite his tomato-red face). "Well… That's what I was saying. Don't you… get what I was saying?"
"Sheesh, Saihara-chan!" He avoided laughing too much, "No, I'm majorly stupid in every way and I need you to spell it out for me. Haven't you learned that, too? We're all as smart as we are dumb."
Shuichi just blinked, confused for a moment, then responded, "That makes no sense at all, Ouma-kun." It was then that Kokichi realised just how tired the man looked. Behind the embarrassment and nervousness, there was a tired look on his face that was slowly making itself more prevalent the longer they kept talking.
Kokichi noticed it in himself, too. His eyes were starting to feel tired and his stupid grin was coming a bit too easily to his face for him to be fully awake. He supposed it had been a long day for the both of them, and playing like they were wasn't going to get them where they were wanting to go when they were starting to get that tired.
So, he shook his head. "Makes perfect sense to me! C'mon, Saihara-chan, I'm dying to know what you meant and, like I said, I'm stupid, so hinting and beating around the bush isn't going to get me to kiss you, y'know."
His eyes went wide with shock, "O-Ouma-kun! That's… I…" He tried to protest, but quickly gave up. Kokichi had known all along what that whole nervousness show was about. And… Shuichi's occasional sneak glances between wandering eyes were only nearly unnoticeable.
Kokichi laughed, "Soo… C'mon! Tell me what you want, Saihara-chan, or I'm going to get up and go to bed right now, 'cause…" He let out a small, only faked at first, yawn to prove his point, "...I'm getting bored, y'know."
Shuichi examined him for a moment before just saying, "'Bored'? Ah, but… You have to feel the same way I do, right?"
He scoffed at the man's persistence to stay vague. Why couldn't he just say it? What happened to the confidence Kokichi had seen when Shuichi had confessed? What happened to that sureness in his voice when he said all those sappy things? Was it really just the tired getting to him? Nonetheless, it was kind of annoying.
Kokichi finally changed how he was sitting, letting his feet touch the ground as he turned his whole body away from Shuichi, as if he was about to stand up just as he said he would. "Y'know, I can't answer that when I don't know what you're talking about."
Shuichi's brows furrowed again, that embarrassed frustration showing on his flustered face, only built upon by the tired look in his eyes. "Ouma-kun, you know exactly what I'm talking about… Why can't you just admit it?"
"I don't know what—" 'you're talking about!' That's what he was going to say. He was going to continue to smile innocently in an attempt to make Shuichi finally get annoyed enough to say what he was avoiding saying. And yet, he was completely surprised, again. He hadn't been paying enough attention to Shuichi's frustration, he realised, or… maybe he had been and simply found he liked it.
Cutting off Kokichi's words in one swift motion, Shuichi had scooched forwards and… and then his lips were on his.
Late-night impulses, huh? That was Kokichi's last coherent thought as he closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. (Of course, the other thought in his mind was simply a slightly disbelieving, Wow.) Shuichi's lips were everything Kokichi had ever wanted and more. Maybe that was dramatic, and maybe that was only fuelled by the satisfaction of finally knowing the feeling of Shuichi's lips after only being able to guess for so long.
The touch was gentle and soft like the touch of his hand, even if a bit messy from their combined sleepiness. Shuichi had brought his hand to cup Kokichi's face, but it was only moments later that he pulled back from the brief kiss with curious eyes and flushed cheeks. Was he… making sure Kokichi was alright with it or something? Had Kokichi's clear compliance not been enough?
Seemingly, that was proven to be the case when Shuichi pulled back a bit further, hand still lingering on Kokichi's face. "Sorry," he breathed, "I know I… I should've asked better. I know it's probably taking things too fast. I… I don't know what's gotten into me all of a sudden."
Kokichi shook his head just barely, cracking a slight grin as he mumbled back, "Don't be stupid, Saihara-chan…" He considered continuing with more teasing, but part of him was so very tempted to get 'payback'. He tried searching Shuichi's face for anything against the action, but… Shuichi's hand was still on his face after all, so…
With only a small teasing look as warning, Kokichi placed his hands on Shuichi's shoulders to pull himself towards him. Shuichi, of course, complied quickly, letting out a small sigh of content as he leaned into another kiss.
In his tired state, all Kokichi could really process was the intoxicating feeling of Shuichi's soft lips against his and the warmth both that and the hand that cupped his face brought. He hadn't really paid much attention to how he had completely shifted his position back to facing the man, nor had he paid much attention to how his hands had travelled from the man's shoulders to into the navy sea of his hair, that is, until he actually felt his hair in-between his fingers.
His hair… It was soft and amazing and everything just as Kokichi had always imagined it being. And his lips? Even more so.
Kokichi didn't care so much about 'indulging' as he had before; he took every advantage of the moment to dig his hands into Shuichi's perfect hair, loving the feeling. He could only assume Shuichi had liked it as well by the soft hum that left him as Kokichi's hold slightly tightened.
Still, only moments later, the feeling was broken when they pulled away for breath. They stared wordlessly at each other, faces likely a nearly matching red as their lips remained slightly parted. But they didn't need words. Shuichi's tired eyes had a look of wonder to them that spoke enough for everything.
Eventually, Shuichi dropped his hand from the side of Kokichi's face, pulling away from Kokichi's hold on him. Still, he looked a bit regretful even doing that. When he finally was the first of them to speak, his words came out drowsily mumbled and breathily hushed. "That… That will happen again, right?"
Kokichi blinked, proper thoughts long having abandoned him. When no smart remark came to him as he sat frozen, he simply shrugged, "If you want it to."
Shuichi smiled softly, looking away with embarrassment, "Yeah. I… I do. But… maybe that's the tired me talking. I… I need to get some sleep now is what I'm saying, anyway. Uh… I can barely think. I definitely… I need to sleep." Yet, despite the words, he hesitated to do anything like stand up or say 'goodnight'.
There was no point in sticking around, though. They had all the time in the world to figure out what it all meant, to do and say all the things that they wanted to. Because… Shuichi wanted him back. Shuichi wanted all the same things that Kokichi did, and it was really… real. It was so undeniably real.
Still, it was late. They both needed sleep, Kokichi knew that, and he knew Shuichi would likely stay around hesitating to leave if Kokichi didn't say anything.
"Yeah… It is pretty late, huh? Can't have you losing sleep 'cause of me, Saihara-chan." Kokichi grinned, though he knew it was only half-hearted because of his drowsiness, "Go on, I'll see you in the morning. Don't stick around out here any longer."
Shuichi reluctantly nodded, beginning to shift his position so that he could stand up, but again was hesitating to actually carry through with the action. He glanced over at Kokichi then back out at the room a couple times, as if he was deciding whether to do or say something or not. Then, finally, the man just stood up, looking back at Kokichi softly, "Good night, then. I'll… I'll see you in the morning. Ouma-kun."
Kokichi smiled, "You know you will."
And with that… Shuichi turned around and walked sleepily out of the room and down the hall, leaving Kokichi sitting on the couch. Kokichi looked around and considered just staying out there for the night. He felt too tired to even stand up, much preferring to just stay on the couch that now held such an important memory.
He already knew falling asleep wouldn't be an issue. He was tired enough already, and the only thoughts in his head were Shuichi. After grabbing a pillow and blanket, he settled onto the small couch, finding that that was at least more comfortable than the armchairs. Something in him just liked having a change of scenery, or maybe just liked the fact that falling asleep in that room was forever associated with Shuichi in his mind.
As expected, the thoughts that bothered him as he closed his eyes were mostly Shuichi. That feeling… Shuichi's lips… But also… Shuichi's words, Shuichi's warmth and caring… He had that now, and he accepted it, because… how couldn't he?
But… He also thought of Kiibo and his insistence of being Kokichi's 'rival' in chess. He thought of Miu's odd caring and acknowledging of their friendship. He thought of Gonta's words of forgiveness. He thought of Maki's attempt at peacemaking. He thought of Rantaro's friendly respect.
And… He thought of the party and the fireworks, as well as the group of them that had been playing games in the living area before then. He thought of how he never once felt out of place that day. Like… Like he had finally earned it. Like he had finally earned his place. Like he could finally wake up and show up to breakfast and not feel like some sort of odd one out who everyone kept around out of guilt.
Kokichi had friends. Kokichi had Shuichi. Kokichi had… a family. That was all he could have ever wanted. And… Maybe it was about time he finally let himself have that.
.
.
.