Hey, it's me again.

Your friendly neighborhood Deadpool. I'm back with the Winchesters, but with a new story to tell. Apparently, the author is having difficulty writing something more serious and would rather play with me all day.

Pun intended.

Now, listen here, short stack. Last time we were together, I got to tell you about my first ghost hunt where that little bitch tried to slice off my head. This one is different because it involves one of my favorite characters.

You know love , it's Gabriel.

He has the type of humor I can get behind.

Yes, literally.

You'll need to keep your head in the gutter if you're going to read this fanfiction.

Okay, okay. Enough stalling.

And…action!

Sam nodded at Dean, hand on the handle of the storage closet they were hidden in. They had narrowly managed to escape a skin-walker that had taken the skin of one of the maids in the motel they'd been staying in.

If it wasn't one thing, it was another.

They hadn't even managed to eat their vending machine buffet before all hell broke loose.

Dean nodded in return, his thumb on the hammer of his Glock.

"1…2…3!"

Together, they barged through the door, expecting to come face-to-face with a skin-walker.

They froze. Brows raised as they took in the new scenery.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, I know…"

They were no longer in the dingy motel hallway they had checked into. The questionably yellow wallpaper had been replaced with a pattern of blue flowers, but it was at the end of the hallway that drew their attention.

Two girls in blue stood at the end.

Watching them.

"The Shining?" Dean asked, shaking his head. "This has Gabriel written all over it. Come out here, you winged son of a bitch!" Dean called out, glaring at the ceiling.

Gabriel appeared a few feet in front of them, grinning broadly.

"Guilty as charged."

Sam ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "Really Gabriel? We aren't in the mood for whatever lesson you're trying to teach us. We want to eat and sleep in peace. Please."

"No can do, Sam. I've been asked to do this as a favor," he shrugged, "this actually isn't your lesson to learn."

Dean narrowed his eyes, slowly shaking his head. "If it's not our lesson, then whose is it?" He let out a frustrated sigh as Gabriel vanished before them, but not after offering them a sly smirk.

"Oh…my…fuck…."

Sam and Dean's eyes widened as they slowly turned around to address the one person they had hoped never to see again.

"Oh, come on!" Dean punched the air and looked up. "You are sick, you know that?"

Deadpool put his hands over his mouth. "You guys! I've missed you!" He lunged forward- Sam and Dean weren't quick enough, resulting in his being wrapped in a one-sided hug.

"Oh," Sam lightly patted his back, "Hey…Wade."

Deadpool pulled his head back to look at them. "Wow, you guys look older. What season am I in?" He slowly looked around. "And how did I get here?

With a quick shove, Dean shook his head as he dusted off his jacket. "Gabriel brought you here," he said.

"Wait," Deadpool started, "theGabriel? Trickster Loki Impersonator Archangel Gabriel?"

"Yes," Sam started but was cut off as Deadpool squealed.

They stared at each other for a long moment. "I'd apologize for the noise I just made, but I have always admired Gabriel," he let out a laugh, "when he hooked you two up nutcrackers and made you answer questions in Japanese," he slapped his knee, laughing harder, "how's genital herpes treating you, Sam?"

"Okay," Dean put a hand up. "You know what? He brought you here to teach you a lesson, and I don't appreciate having to put up with you again for the sake of your personal growth."

"You're right, I am so sorry," Deadpool said, folding his hands and bowing to him, shan't happen again."

"Good, now what did you do to piss off someone upstairs?"

Deadpool snorted. "What haven't I done? I mean, I'm an asshole, but I'm an asshole to the assholes who are assholing. I guess you could call me an Anti-Hero because I'm always on my Vigilante Shit."

"Okay," Sam started, "can you think of anything you might have done that might have been a little…overboard?"

Deadpool blinked at him. Deadpanned.

"Do you hear yourself right now?"

Dean sighed and looked around, realizing the end was empty. "Okay, let's just get through this then, alright? So, Gabriel put us in the setting of The Shining? Why?"

Deadpool clapped and looked around. "Oh! I haven't seen this movie in ages; it's one of my Desert Island movies. It's number five on my list."

Slowly, Sam turned to look at him. "I hope that's just a coincidence…"

Snorting, Deadpool shook his head and laughed. "For your sake, you better hope it is, buddy."

Dean shook his head. "Okay, let's just try a door before those ghost girls come back. I don't." He walked quickly down the hall, hand on his gun, ready for use. Pressing a hand against the handle, he turned to look at Deadpool.

"Out of curiosity, if this is number five on your list. What is number four?"

Deadpool tilted his head to the side and slowly leaned his body to the right, peering beyond Dean as the elevator dinged.

"Uh oh," he giggled, "this is about to get messy. Does anyone have a tampon?"

Dean looked over his shoulder. "Oh, crap!" He shoved through the door, and they all stumbled into a forest.

"Dean?"

They spun to see Castiel standing in the forest, but his eyes widened as his eyes landed on Deadpool.

"Well, hey there, Angel Food Cake."

"Why is he here, Dean?" Castiel asked with a frown and looked around. "And where are we? You weren't in the motel room when I returned."

Dean nodded, shoving a thumb in Deadpools direction, who waved emphatically and sighed. "Gabriel stuck us with him. To teach him a lesson."

Furrowing his brows, Castiel frowned. "What kind of lesson?"

"Well," Deadpool started, "you could start by putting me over your knee and see where that takes us. It's okay. You don't have to be gentle," he then whispered, "I trust you."

Dean sent a quick elbow to his gut, making Deadpool hunch over.

"I just hope you know!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Violence makes me horny!"

"Okay, enough," Sam cut in. "Does this look anything like one of your Desert Island movies?"

Deadpool looked around and hung his head. "Yes…"

Castiel frowned. "What is a Desert Island movie?"

"It's a game people play," Sam answered, "you pick five movies that you would take with you if you were deserted on an island."

"How could you watch the movies without electricity?"

Sam frowned. "Well, that's not the point of the game. It's a get-to-know-you kind of game."

Castiel slowly shook his head. "Okay, so then we're in a movie?"

Nodding, Dean looked around. "The last one was The Shining. What's this one supposed to be?" He looked over at Deadpool, who shyly kicked at the leafy debris.

"Well?" Dean asked. "What is it? The Blair Witch Project?"

"No!" Deadpool sighed. "It's uhm…well, it's…" he rubbed the back of his neck as another voice came from afar.

"Shadow!"

Slowly, Deadpool turned and watched an American Bulldog race past, followed by a Himalayan Cat.

"Shadow!" The voice came again, and Deadpool sat on the ground, elbows in his lap and chin in his palms, as he watched the Golden Retriever limp past.

"Oh, the sweet little pupper." He wiped at the under-eye of his mask.

"Really?" Dean asked. "Homeward Bound?"

Deadpool was on his feet instantly, finger in Dean's face. "Ya know what, if you didn't shed a tear when Shadow appeared over that hill after Peter thinks he's lost his best friend forever, you simply don't have a soul!"

"Guys!"

They looked over at Sam.

"We need to find another door to get to the next movie," he continued, "any ideas?"

Deadpool nodded eagerly. "We just follow the animals! They're headed to a house; we can go through a door there, but we better hurry. There are other moose who live in this forest, not just you, sugar plum, and they like to eat the tails off of smaller animals," he turned to Dean, "like squirrels."

Dean narrowed his eyes at him before turning and stalking away.

With a sigh of triumph, Deadpool watched Sam follow Dean and looked over at Castiel.

He offered him his hand, but Castiel just stared at it.

"Come on, don't be shy." Deadpool moved closer, took his hand, and patted the top. "There we go. Not so bad, is it?" he said as they walked through the forest hand-in-hand, approaching the house through the backyard.

"Ready?" Sam asked as he placed a hand on the back porch door.

Deadpool nodded, squeezing Castiel's hand. "Let's fucking do it." Castiel glanced over, looking at their hands bewildered, but said nothing.

Dean sighed and opened the door.

They landed with anumph.

Groaning, Deadpool lifted his head and gazed down at Castiel.

"Is that your angel blade, or are you just happy to see me?" Slowly, Deadpool looked to his right to see Castiel's blade on the ground, having fallen to the side.

White eyes widening, he turned his head to stare at him again.

"Get off him." Dean grabbed his shoulders and pulled Deadpool off Cas, shoving him to the side.

Face-planting to the ground, Deadpool lifted himself to stare at the yellow brick road beneath him.

"Yup, sure as fuck," he looked up and let out a sigh, "we're in the Wonderful Land of Oz. Isn't it amazing?" Sighing happily, watching the blackened trees sway in the dense forest as crows cawed.

"Yeah, not creepy at all." Dean rolled his eyes and pointed to a dilapidating shack up the road. "There's a door, let's go."

Deadpool got to his feet. "Every time we go through a new door and end up somewhere new, it makes me feel like we're in Monsters Inc." He turned and glanced at you.

"Did you think I forgot about you reading this fanfiction? Of course not, but I'm glad I got to talk about Pixar…"

"Stop that." Dean shook his head.

Deadpool sighed. "I'm just letting the audience know what to expect, like more cameos that didn't make it in the first fic."

Dean didn't respond as he continued forward, followed by the group, but Deadpool looked up at the trees.

"Just be careful. This is Oz, after all," Deadpool said, "and that's the shack the Wicked Witch of the West appeared on top of to set the Scarecrow on fire. That would be you, Sam. I'm sorry. I don't make the rules, nor can I regulate your Scarecrow-like stature."

"Thanks," Sam nodded, pursing his lips thinly.

Deadpool continued. "And obviously, Dean is the Cowardly Lion." To which Dean flashed a glare over his shoulder.

"Yeah?" He asked. "And what am I so afraid of?"

"You're feelings."

Dean froze and turned to glare at him, opening his mouth to respond, but Deadpool continued before he couldn't.

"I'm obviously Dorothy," he gestured to his body, "what with all the red and my can-do attitude."

Castiel asked, "Who would I be?"

Turning to him, Deadpool tilted his head to the side before moving forward and patting the top of his head. "Who's a good boy? Yes, you are. You are." He cooed.

"Hey!" Dean frowned. "Don't talk to him like that."

"Oh, look at that; the lion finds his courage," Deadpool bowed before leaning over to Castiel. "Sorry, Toto," he said, quickly skipping toward the shack.

A screech above stopped him in his tracks.

"What the fuck-monkey's was that?" Deadpool asked, looking up at the trees. His eyes widened. "Oh, actual monkeys."

Sam's jaw clenched. "Flying monkeys. We should probably run."

A flying monkey clad in his gear landed directly in front of Castiel, who took an immediate step back, but Deadpool moved forward, arms outstretched.

"Look at you! So vicious!"

At that same moment, the monkey turned and latched itself onto Deadpool's leg, sinking its long fangs deeply into his calf.

"Shit! Fuck!" Deadpool kicked the monkey off with such force it bashed against a nearby tree, splattering in a spray of blood and dripping guts.

"You okay?" Sam asked with a raised brow, just as a high-pitched cackle filled the sky.

"I'll get you my pretty! And your little angel, too!"

Without looking away from the splattered monkey remains, Deadpool aimed his gun at the top of the shack and fired two shots.

"I'm fine," Deadpool sighed, looking over at Sam. "Thank you so much for asking." He said before unloading four more bullets into the witch that now lay in a heap in the grass in front of the shack.

"I think you got her," Dean said, blinking, staring at him.

"What?" Deadpool asked, unloading two more into the witch's body. "I can't hear you over the sound of violence."

Deadpool turned to look at you. "That's why this fanfiction is rated under Explicit. That, and the language. I know we haven't gotten to any kind of sexual content yet aside from verbal and gestured innuendos, but the fic is still young."

Howls and screeches from above erupted across the forest, shaking the leaves as monkey after flying monkey dropped to the ground. It wasn't a mere few.

It was a horde.

"Time to go," Sam said, dashing toward the shack. They all followed as the monkeys chased after them, screaming and hooting.

Before going inside, Deadpool peered around the corner of the house and stared directly into the forest behind.

"What are you doing!" Dean shouted over the screams of the monkeys.

"I'm just seeing if Gabriel digitally replaced the swinging body of a depressed munchkin with a peacock because that makes a whole lot of fucking sense even for the land of Oz. I don't want to traumatize our viewers, Dean!"

"Eeep!" Deadpool squealed as Dean grabbed the back of his shoulders and pulled him through the door.

"New York City?" Castiel asked, looking up at the tall buildings.

Dean spun slowly as they all took it in. "There are so many movies based in New York. What would this one be?"

"There he is!" Deadpool gasped, pointing up at the sky as Spiderman swung by on his web, holding his hands to his mouth. "Beautiful."

"Uhm…I don't think…" Sam started.

Deadpool turned to stare at him. "Ew! You sick fuck, that is my son you're talking about. It's the collaboration I've always wanted, and if Disney doesn't do it soon, I'm telling Ryan Reynolds."

Deadpool turned to look at you. "Remember when I said there would be more cameos? Well, there was some wicked foreshadowing at the beginning of this fanfiction."

"Spiderman is your son?" Castiel asked curiously.

"I mean, not technically. I want him to be the way Jack is to you."

Castiel cast a glance at Sam and Dean. "Who's Jack?"

Putting his hands to his mouth. "I am so sorry; this is probably pre-season thirteen; I really should have put a spoiler alert hashtag." He slapped his palm to his forehead. "Bad Deadpool."

Sam cleared his throat. "I don't want to come off as offensive…"

Deadpool tilted his head, staring at Sam.

"Doesn't he kind of already have a father figure? Tony Stark?"

"That's why Tony Stark has to die," Deadpool turned to look at you and whispered, "Spoiler alert: He does." He giggled and then sniffed, looking at Sam. "What a brave man, letting himself die so others could live. Just like…" He turned to look at Castiel, who looked over at Dean with wide eyes and then back at Deadpool.

"What?" Castiel asked.

"What?" Deadpool repeated and then swiftly changed the subject. "I would teach Peter amazing things as a papa, like how to bluff in poker, drink without getting a hangover, and commit murder." He shook his head with a soft, dreamy sigh.

Dean shook his head and sighed. "Let's just pick a door. There's plenty to choose from."

Before they moved a step, a flash of red and blue landed in front of them.

"You guys need any help?" Spiderman asked, hands on his hips as Deadpools eyes widened.

"Oh…my…" he froze, "Wait the shivering shit up, you're not Tom Holland." He pointed his finger at him, taking in his costume. "Your costume is all wrong, and your voice sounds more like Tobey Maguire. Dammit!"

He sighed, shaking his head. "Look, it's not you; you did a great job in this franchise. That scene with the bus where everyone keeps your secret as Spiderman still gives me chills- it's just that Tom Holland was the whole package, you know? Nerdy but also athletic with a flawless Queens accent. I guess this is what I get for saying Spider-Man to the universe and not specifically stating Spider-Man Homecoming. Fuck me. Okay, you can go away now." He said, leaving behind a confused Spiderman, head hung in disappointment.

"I don't even want an asstograph now." Deadpool said, shaking his head as he reached for the handle of the nearest door on the street. He looked up. "Oh, hey, look! Shawarma!"

"Go!" Dean shoved Deadpool through the door.

The bright sunlight blinded Deadpool. He groaned, blinking sand out of his white eyes as he slowly sat up, shaking his head. The roar of the ocean and the seagulls above was new to his ears.

When was the last time he'd been on a beach?

"Are you serious?" Dean asked, kicking a volleyball, which hit squarely against Deadpools face, thrusting his head back.

"Ow," he picked the ball up and looked at the bloody handprint on the side, "Wilson?"

Dean's voice got louder. "Why the hell is Castaway your top Desert Island movie!?"

Deadpool looked up, eyes wide. He raised his voice to match Dean's. "Because I thought it was ironic to watch a movie about being deserted on an island while being deserted on an island, and we all know Marvel loves irony!"

"There aren't any doors on a deserted island, you idiot!"

"Well, excuse me for being creative, Dean. I didn't think I'd be brought here by an Archangel. This might be completely off-topic, but I've always wanted to see Loki and Gabriel hate fuck."

They all stared at him in silence.

Slowly, he got to his feet. "Look, the whole point is that I need to learn a lesson, right? Well, maybe that's the final door. Admitting the lesson. Like in Once Upon a Time when Peter Pan made Emma admit she was an orphan while they were stuck in Never Land." He shook his head. "It was so cruel, but it really did further the plot."

They continued to stare at him.

"Deadpool?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, peanut?"

"Do you often take any controlled substances?"

Deadpool laughed. "Mostly uncontrollable, but yes, sugar-pea. I love dancing under the disco dust." He sighed longingly.

"Okay," Sam tried to reign the conversation back, "what lesson do you think you learned?"

Deadpool stroked his chin. "Hm, well. I learned that Castiel has a crush on me."

"I never-" Castiel started, but Deadpool continued.

"And Sam taught me never to eat the yellow snow, no matter how enticing."

"We're going to be stuck here forever…" Sam murmured somberly.

"And Dean…" Deadpool stopped pacing to look at him.

Dean stared at him, crossing his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, Dean. You taught me the most important lesson of all. I understand it now! I swear I do. The lesson I'm meant to learn here is that love has no boundaries. You can fuck Castiel if you want to, Tumblr will cheer, I tell you. They'll cheer and reblog and tag Misha Collins in every post. You can do it right now in the sand. I won't judge. I always have a condom on hand if that's your worry. And Castiel," he turned to Cas, "Don't wait until the end of the series to admit your love. At a point in time when nothing can be done about it, leaving Dean to question his entire existence. Am I close, Gabriel?"

The beach suddenly disappeared, and they were all standing in the center of an empty warehouse.

"No," Gabriel said, and they turned to face him, but he was staring at Deadpool, completely baffled, "I had a feeling you wouldn't understand the purpose of this exercise, but I had to cut it short because honestly. Whether you said it is true or not, your conclusions worry me because they have nothing to do with what was happening around you. Do you always just talk out of your ass and hope for the best?"

"Usually, yes."

Gabriel looked at you and rolled his eyes.

Deadpool stared at him, then at you. Then at him. "What the fuck was that?"

Gabriel simply smiled. "You've been traveling from timeline to timeline."

"Trying to find out why Thor was holding me and crying, yes."

"You need to stop," Gabriel said. Traveling from genre to genre, fandom to fandom is fun—I'll give you that—but you're messing with other people's worlds and changing their realities, like the Wicked Witch you killed.

"I was protecting Toto!" Deadpool shouted and pointed back at Castiel.

Gabriel quirked a smirk. "I do like you, you know. You play along much more nicely than they do," he gestured to Sam and Dean, "I'd keep you here if it were up to me, but I can't. Everything has its place, and your place is in your own timeline."

Deadpools shoulders drooped and sighed. "I can understand your point…"

Blood splattered across Deadpools mask as Gabriel spit up blood.

"Hey! Sat it, don't spray it!" Deadpool wiped his eyes and watched as Gabriel fell to the ground, holding his chest where Lucifer punched a hole from behind.

Deadpools eyes widened as he took in a long gasp. "Lucy?"

Lucifer tilted his head and gave him a deadpanned look. "Who are you?"

"I am so glad you asked," Deadpool clapped, "I'm Deadpool, Deadpool for short. This is Castiel, my guardian angel,"

"No," Castiel interjected, but Deadpool continued.

"And these are the Salvatore brothers." He gestured to Sam and Dean.

Sam cleared his throat. "Winchester."

Deadpool paused and looked over his shoulder at him. "What did I say?" Before he could say another word, Lucifer tossed him to the other side of the warehouse with a flick of his wrist.

Landing on a metal rake on his back, it pierced through his torso and jutted through his stomach. "Fuuuuccckkkkk." He groaned, standing up and pulling it out of his back. It clattered to the floor, sending droplets of blood in every direction.

With another wave of Lucifer's hand, Deadpool smashed against the ceiling and back down on the cement floor, creating a jagged crater beneath.

"Wow! You're so strong!" Deadpool laughed, getting to his knees. "It's okay, guys," he waved at Sam, Dean, and Cas, "you don't have to help me or anything."

Deadpool turned to look at you. "That was sarcasm. It's difficult to show sarcasm through fanfiction, but I'll manage."

"What are you…" Lucifer pointed a finger at him, "doing, exactly?" He shook his head and looked back at Sam. "Never mind. I'm here for my vessel."

Deadpool tilted his head, looked down at his fingers, and carefully counted the digits. "What season are we even in?! This is very AU."

Groaning, Lucifer shoved his hand his way. "Do you ever shut up?" He chuckled as Deadpool smashed into a window, shattering the glass. "Though, I'll admit," he glanced over at the trio, "he's kind of growing on me."

Deadpool stood to his feet. "That's not the only thing growing, Lucy," he said, reaching back and removing his katanas, "I'm going to have to fight you now, Satan, and I will warn you against using knives, as I do consider stabbing as an act of penetration."

Snapping his fingers, Deadpool was suddenly an eight-inch tall action figure.

Dean's brows raised and nodded slowly. "Alright, let's go."

"Dean," Sam grabbed his arm, "we can't leave him like this."

Sighing, he rubbed the space between his eyes and looked up, watching Lucifer approach, but it was beyond him that caught his attention.

"What do you say, Sam?" He asked, opening his arms to him, but at that moment, six long metal claws speared through Lucifer from behind.

Blood gurgled from Lucifer's mouth as he slowly looked over his shoulder.

"I'd like you to turn my friend back, bub," Logan growled in his ear.

Dean let out a tiny sound. "It's," he took a deep breath and grinned at Sam, "that's Wolverine."

"Oh, brother?" Gabriel asked, appearing next to Lucifer. He snapped his fingers, and Deadpool shuddered back to life at full height.

"Woah! Head rush!" Deadpool said, holding the sides of his head as Gabriel slammed his palm down on the angel sigil. He, Lucifer, and Cas disappeared.

Deadpool looked around and sucked in a sharp breath. "You're here!" He dashed to Wolverine, who was cleaning the blood off the blades of his knuckles.

He grunted as Deadpool slammed into him with a hug. Then, slowly, he looked over at Dean.

"I see how it is. You don't fan girl over me, but for him, you do? You probably already jizzed in your pants, you bastard."

Dean rolled his eyes. "I…okay, yeah, I'm a fan of Wolverine comics. Sue me."

"I will sue you. Disney will dry fuck the CW so hard that the DC universe will stop to stare and say, 'Oh, that's dark.'"

Sam pursed his lips. "I have to ask. I watched the new movie. Are you two like a thing or..."

"No," Logan replied blandly, pushing Deadpool away from him.

"Hey!" Deadpool pointed a finger at Sam, voice cracking. "What happened in the Odyssey stays in the Odyssey."

Deadpool turned to look at you and winked.

"There isn't much time," Castiel said, appearing beside Sam and Dean, "Gabriel is distracting Lucifer, but it won't be long. We need to hurry. I won't have enough grace to take all of you at once."

"Oh," Deadpool tilted his head, "where are we going?"

Dean drove the Impala, and Sam sat as in passenger. Castiel sat in the back seat, eyes wide, as he was silently squished between Deadpool and Wolverine.

"Red and Yellow, Red and Yellow, Red and Yellow…" Deadpool sang to himself.

"Stop," Logan growled.

It was silent for a long moment, and Deadpool stared out the window at the passing scenery before he began singing.

"It was the heat of the moment…"

Sam looked quickly in the rearview mirror, glaring at Deadpool, who quickly put his fingers over his mouth.

"I am…so sorry."

A bit more silence passed, and Deadpool looked over at Castiel. "You know, now two of us in this car have been turned into action figures. Isn't that wild?" He giggled and shook his head. "I always wondered, what in thefuckityfuck ever happened to Jesse? He appeared, was revealed as a literal insanely powerful entity, and fucked off the rest of the series. Was that a choice or lazy writing?"

Dean sighed and turned the radio up, playing Thunderstruck.

Deadpool hung his head. "Why, Thor? Why were you crying?" He whispered to himself.

When they arrived at a familiar house, Deadpool slammed his fist against the window.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Logan asked him in surprise.

"This timeline doesn't make sense! We're here to see Bobby Singer, but he should already be dead with everything else that's happened so far."

"He is dead, asshole," Dean said, and Deadpool looked over at him with wide eyes, "but his house is still here."

Deadpool was quiet for a long moment. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

Rolling his eyes, Dean got out of the car. "How do you stand that guy?" He asked Wolverine.

"Lots of Liquor." He grunted as he got out.

They all walked into Bobby's house, and Deadpool breathed it in. "Wow, it smells exactly how I thought it would. It could use an air freshener or two, but I can see the appeal."

Castiel sighed. "We're just waiting for Gabriel to return and put you back in your timeline."

"Okay," Deadpool said, removing his mask, "whoo, I've been sweating like crazy in there since the Castaway visit, and this sand has not been helping." He laughed, shaking the mask out.

Castiel tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowed.

Wade met his eyes. "I know. I am just so fuckable looking, aren't I, Angel Cake?"

The sound of a cork popping came from the kitchen, and Logan returned, laughing deeply as he swallowed down the contents of the liquor bottle.

"Hm," Wade nodded, "just call me Peter Hale, except for the fact that at least in Teen Wolf he was able to look fuckable again. Not this fug mug." He pointed to his face, smirking as Sam and Dean stared at him.

"What?" Wade asked. "No jokes?"

"I have one." Logan offered.

"Zip it!" His eyes strayed to Castiel, who slowly walked toward him. "Watchadoin' there, peanut?"

Castiel pressed two fingers to the center of his forehead. "There." He smiled.

Tilting his head to the side, Wade glanced at Logan, who stared at him.

There was not a laugh or chortle in sight. Quickly, he dashed over to one of the mirrors on the wall and gasped.

His gloved fingers touched over smooth skin, skin he hadn't remembered.

"This," he blinked at his completely healed face, "I haven't seen this face in the mirror since the beginning of the first Deadpool movie, back when people thought I'd be a flop of a franchise. But thanks to Zachary Levy and Ryan Reynolds, it was hit."

Sam furrowed his brow. "Do you mean Shawn Levy?"

"Fuck!" Wade shouted, not looking away from his face in the mirror. "You're right."

"And," Sam continued, "Tim Miller directed the first Deadpool movie, so…"

"Double fuck! Are they going to cancel me for not remembering my own franchise?" Wade's forehead pressed against the mirror and glanced up. "Can I take this with me?"

"No," Dean answered just as Gabriel arrived.

"Alright," Gabriel said breathlessly, "I left Lucifer and Michael to work out some differences. You need to get back to your timeline. Now."

Wade groaned. "But why? I'm having so much fun. Look at my face. I'mfuthermuckinggorgeous."

Shaking his head, Gabriel sighed. "Sorry, no can do. Lucy, dear, and Mikey have concluded they can use two different vessels for their fight in the Apocalypse."

Dean frowned. "Wait, what? Who?"

Gabriel gestured to Wade and Logan, who still held his half-finished liquor bottle.

Placing his hand over his heart, Wade raised his brows. "Us? Why us?"

"Two Mutants that can't seem to die? Yeah, it's kind of a no-brainer."

Sam shook his head. "There's no way that would even happen, right? Logan wouldn't say yes to being their vessel, would you?" He asked, looking at Logan.

He took another swig and shook his head. "Fuck, no."

"And you?" Sam asked Wade.

"Fuck, yes."

They all turned to stare at Wade, and he froze. "I mean…no, I would never agree to be part of the greatest fight of the eon…" He turned to smirk at you and mouthed, 'Yes, I would.'

He turned to them and shook his head. "Never." He whispered.

Gabriel sighed and nodded. "That is exactly why I have to get you out of here. Bye-bye." He twiddled his fingers.

"Wait!" Wade raced over and grabbed his mask, putting it back on. He looked at Castiel. "Thank you for the reconstructive face life. I appreciate it," he blew him a kiss and turned back to Gabriel. "Okay, okay. Now I'm ready. Just be gentle. I'm very sensitive. Treat me like Dove soap commercials treat blind people."

Gabriel pursed his lips and snapped his fingers.

Dean sighed when the two mutants disappeared and looked over at Gabriel. "This is the only time I will ever beg you of anything. Never, ever bring him back here again, please."

Castiel nodded slowly. "I kind of like him." He promptly avoided his eyes as he exited the room.

Dean exchanged a glance with Sam and shook his head.

"I need a beer."

Deadpool sighed happily as he entered their apartment, skipping off to the bathroom as Logan opened the fridge for a beer.

"Come on, baby. This is the face Vanessa has missed sitting on." He removed the mask in the bathroom mirror and stared at the wrinkles and wrecked facial features.

"Fuck!" He shouted, putting a fist through the mirror, and stalked to the living room, where Logan sat on the couch. "Look at this shit!" He exclaimed, pointing at his face.

Logan started laughing hysterically. "Wrong timeline. That's harsh, bub."

Hanging his head, he sighed, walking to his bedroom at a slow, dragging gait.

"Where are you going?" Logan asked through his laughter.

"I'm going to write a letter to Misha!" he shouted over his shoulder. "I know he'll never receive it, but it will let me constructively express my feelings. Unlike how I just demolished the mirror in the bathroom, we don't have to worry about it, though. Al won't see it anyway."

Wade waved his hand at Logan, who was still chuckling as he entered his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

I hope you enjoyed my run-in with the Trickster, even if he wasn't Loki with his own show on Disney and is, in fact, the Archangel Gabriel.

Who, by the way, I'm thoroughly convinced has a massive crush on me.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

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Fondly, Deadpool xoxo