"Kaia, run!" Claire splashed through a dirty puddle, soaking her socks as she raced down the uneven alley. Her limbs burned from the exertion as her heart hammered against her chest. Using the fear of what chased her, she propelled forward. She rounded a corner and slammed against a solid mass.

The vampire wrapped its arms around her frame as the force pushed the air from her lungs.

"Help!" Claire gasped before being dragged into the building.

The door slammed shut.

"Motherfucker." Wade grumbled as he stared at the pile of popsicle sticks on the coffee table. Once an unsteady tower, it now resembled mere kindling. Pushing the sticks to the side, he picked one up and started rebuilding the foundation, forehead bunched in concentration.

Quickly, he checked his Adventure Time watch and smirked.

"You know you can't go, right?" Logan asked from his lounged position on the couch. He took a swig of beer and glanced his way.

Wade looked up, raising his forehead. "Hm?" He asked innocently.

With a roll of his eyes, Logan grunted. "You're not going to their timeline."

"I wasn't…"

"I read your diary."

Wade's jaw dropped and sucked in a gasp. "That…I…" He settled a glare on him. "It's ajournal, and it is personal!"

Rolling his eyes, he pulled a fuzzy, pink notebook wedged between his thigh and the couch. The front cover displayed Pinkie Pie.

Wade slammed his fist on the table. "That is an invasion of privacy!"

With a smirk, Logan tossed it at him- hitting him square in the face.

"Son of a bitch!" Wade rubbed his nose. "You know what? You're not invited anymore!"

"Wasn't going to go."

"Good."

"Neither are you."

Wade smirked, tilting his head. "Either join me or stop me, but I'll tell you now. I'm not staying here without a fight."

Narrowing his eyes, Logan stared at him and smirked.

Jody dropped the bowl of brownie batter, sending it across the floor in a splatter as Kaia slammed through the door.

"Woah!" Jody sucked in a breath and looked up. "Where's the fire…" She frowned when she noticed the skewed expression Kaia wore.

"Kaia?" She asked gently, voice firm, though her pulse fluttered. "What happened?"

Kaia raked her fingers over her face, shaking her head. "I knew it wasn't safe, but we went anyway, and they took her. She's gone."

"Slow down." Jody set the bowl to the side and stepped over the brown batter. "Is it Claire?"

Kaia nodded as tears welled in her eyes.

"Okay," Jody swallowed hard, "who took Claire?"

"The Vampires. We were exploring a nest…" Kaia trailed off as tears streaked down her cheeks. "We didn't think there were many, but they were everywhere. We ran...we weren't fast enough. They took her. I didn't know what else to do- I just kept running. I left her there," her voice broke, "I left her."

"Look at me," Jody replied firmly, hands lightly pressed to her shoulders, "you did what you needed to survive, and now we're going to get her back. Alright?"

Kaia nodded, taking a slow, shaky breath.

"Take a breath, I'll call Sam and Dean. Claire is a smart girl, and we're going to get her back, okay?"

"No lecture?" Kaia asked when her breathing had calmed a little.

"Not yet."

Taking a glass from the cupboard, she filled it with tap water and offered it to her before taking out her phone and dialed Sam's number.

"Hello?" Sam answered on the third ring.

"Hey, Sam, it's Jody." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Claire's in trouble. Vampire Nest," she glanced over at Kaia, "where?" Jody nodded. "Potsdam." She answered Sam. "We'll head over there now and scope the place out. Alright."

Hanging up, she nodded at Kaia. "Grab your stuff." Jody quickly went through her gear and armed herself.

"Let's go save Claire." She said, cocking her gun.

"Claire's in trouble?!" Deadpool exclaimed, clutching the sides of his head.

Dean visibly jumped. "Don't do that!" He grumbled, glaring at him as he began stuffing his duffel with essential materials.

They were standing in the bunker when they received the news from Jody. Now, a flurry of nerves, they frantically gathered their supplies for Castiel to transport them to South Dakota.

"I want to help." Deadpool nodded.

"No," Dean looked to Cas and Sam, "let's go."

"Oh, come on! I even brought him!" Deadpool pointed to Logan.

Logan grunted and crossed his arms. "Don't worry, I'm taking him back. Go on."

"Saboteur! Claire is like a daughter to me!" Deadpool argued.

"You've never even met her, you dumb fuck."

Sam took a breath. "We don't have time for this, so I'm making the decision. You're coming because claws and blades are what we need against vampires, and I know you don't have an aversion to cutting off heads."

"You know us so well," Deadpool nodded.

Cas offered his hand to them, which Deadpool took, and Logan, with a defeated sigh, took Deadpool's other hand.

"Kumbayamy Lord,kumbaya…" Deadpool began singing before his words were cut off with a yelp as they disappeared from the bunker.

Shadows crept like devious fingers across the stone floor. Claire, coughing, lifted her head from the ground. She groaned as the throbbing behind her eyes escalated to a sharp, blurred pain.

"Hm," she groaned, wiping her sleeve across her mouth, relieving an itch on her chin. She pulled her arm away and stared down at the blood stain on her jacket sleeve.

"Oh, crap…."

A low chuckle at the corner of the room pulled her head up. Her eyes widened as she took in the figure above her.

He walked toward her with a slow, precise gait and a crooked smile. The man didn't look like he'd be a vampire leader but rather a punchable face at some corporate office downtown.

"I'm Jag," he said, running his fingers through his quaffed blonde hair, "welcome to the nest."

Jag reached forward, and Claire promptly spit into his hand. Curling his lip into a snarl, he lunged forward and grabbed a fistful of her hair. With a shove, Claire slammed into the corner of the cell.

"I think this one can be without an offering of blood for a while," Jag said, straightening his stance as he removed a knife from his waistband.

Claire's knife.

"It's nice." He smiled, drumming the side with his nail. "I appreciate the gift. Maybe one day you'll appreciate yours."

Jag turned abruptly and left the cell, slamming it closed behind him and leaving Claire alone in the dark.

"Woah!" Deadpool exclaimed, holding his gut as they appeared in the middle of a field, the city of Potsdam in the not-so-far distance. "That is going to wreck my colon for a while. Dean gets constipated when he travels by Angel dust; I think I might have the opposite problem…" He said, looking down at himself.

Dean skewed a face. "I'm begging you to shut up. Cas, clean him up." He shook his head, still making a face as he turned away.

Turning to look at you, Deadpool tilted his head. "If you haven't caught on yet, I shit right. Watery bowels are a thing." He turned to Cas, who approached him with a grim expression. "Do you have baby wipes or…lotion? Baby powder is fine, too. I don't mind the health risks as I'm perpetually dying of ever-evolving cancer. I just don't want to chafe."

Cas touched his forehead, and Deadpool looked down at himself.

"Ah, touched by an Angel." He murmured, to which Castiel responded gruffly.

"Please don't say that."

Sam's voice carried through the field. "Jody, hey, yeah, it's Sam," he said, holding the phone to his ear with his back turned to the group, "we're just outside Potsdam. Where did Claire go missing?"

Everyone waited, listening.

"Mhm, okay. Yeah, we'll meet you there."

Sam hung up and turned, but as he did, he froze and his eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Uhm…" he began, pointing behind Deadpool and Wolverine.

Instinctively, they reached for their weapons and turned.

Deadpool blinked gripping hiskatanas, only to release them immediately and tilted his head.

"What in the fuck waffles?"

"Hi, Wade." A teenage girl with pink hair waved.

"Hi, Yukio." Deadpool waved back.

Dean moved forward, glancing back at Sam and Cas before looking at the two. "Woah, woah. Hang on, who's this? No one gave you permission to come."

"Didn't ask for it." The other girl with cropped hair standing beside Yukio said, deadpanned and unimpressed.

Raising his brows, Dean glanced over at Wade and Logan.

"Explain?" He asked.

Deadpool gave a little shrug. "Well, I don't know how they followed us."

"You told us to," Yukio replied with a smile, "you said it would entertain the readers."

"Shhhh, they're listening," Deadpool hushed her quickly, "anyway. This is Yukio, and this ray of sunshine is Negasonic Teenage Warhead."

Castiel slowly moved forward, and brows pulled together with curiosity, tilted his head. "Is that really your name?"

"Ellie." She responded.

Deadpool glanced between them. "Can I call you Ellie?"

"No."

Sam interjected, "Okay, we don't have time for questions about who's who and why people are here. We need to get moving if we're going to find Claire. Who knows what these vamps could be doing to her. Jody said she'd meet us on the corner of Elm and Main."

With that, they all started walking through the grassy clearing toward the city lights that cut through the darkness.

Ellie made a face. "Who smells like shit?"

"Castiel!" Deadpool scolded.

Castiel looked around and shook his head before narrowing his eyes at Deadpool.

With a soft groan, Dean looked to the sky. "This is punishment, isn't it?" He muttered.

Kaia and Jody sat across from each other in the cafe, their untouched coffees in front of them as they stared out the window.

The building where Claire had disappeared was slightly obscured by the reflection of the lights on their side of the glass, but that didn't stop Kaia from staring at it.

Wishing. Praying she might see Claire alive and well.

A bell chimed as the door opened, and a group of people filed in, a few quite out of place.

"Oh," Jody gestured to Deadpool and Wolverine, "is Charlie in town?"

Shaking his head, Dean approached the table. "We have a pretty big rescue crew if you can't tell," he said, his voice bordering annoyed until he noticed Kaia and her paled expression. He pursed his lips into a tight line. "You alright?"

Kaia gave a shaky breath and nodded, then pointed through the window. "Last I saw Claire, we were running through that alley."

Castiel frowned, stepping forward. "Why would you go explore a vampire nest by yourselves?"

"We didn't know there would be so many. We thought we were following just one, but it…"

"Lead you back to a neat little trap?" Dean asked with a nod. "Yeah, that's kind of what vampires do. This isn't…this isn't…."

"Nosferatu?" Deadpool asked, then continued, despite Dean's death glare over his shoulder. "Dracula? Let the Right One in? Interview with the Vampire? Blade?" Deadpool looked at you pointedly before going back to Dean. "Twilight? 30 Days of Night? What We Do in the Shadows? Only Lovers Left Alive? The Lost Boys? Dark Shadows?"

Logan lifted his fist, and Deadpool quickly ducked, shuffling to his right so he had a bit of buffer space between them.

"Alright." Dean rubbed his temples as he dug through his bag, only for Sam to hand over his bottle of Advil. Dean popped the pills and dry-swallowed them. "Let's go cut off some vamp heads."

"Sick," Ellie said, monotone.

Deadpool turned to look at her. "Is this your excited face?" He asked, gesturing her to face. "It's very expressive."

"Eat a dick." She turned, leaving the cafe.

Deadpool shook his head. "No, thanks, I'm still full from this morning." He followed after her.

With a sigh, Logan rubbed his forehead in irritation. "Just cut their heads off? How do I know who's a vampire and who's not?"

"Oh, you'll know." Sam nodded.

Castiel frowned. "Are we going to talk about what-"

"No." Logan cut him off and walked out of the cafe and onto the street.

A few minutes later, the gang crouched in the alleyway, hidden behind a few dumpsters. Dean used a pair of binoculars to watch the windows of the seemingly abandoned building.

"Looks like an old apartment complex," Dean frowned, "makes sense, probably more comfortable than a warehouse."

"Who's Claire?" Ellie asked Kaia.

Nodding, she frowned. "My girlfriend…" she trailed off. "She probably hates me now. I bolted to save my own ass."

Sam shook his head. "If you hadn't, you wouldn't have been able to tell Jody, and we wouldn't be here. It's a crappy situation, but you really did do the best thing for her."

"I see an opening," Dean said, starting to stand. "We'll go two or three at a time to the door at the back. The next set doesn't go until the all-clear is given, got it?"

Jody nodded. "Got it."

"Sam," Dean gestured, and they got ready to go.

"I don't think I can do this." Kaia took a shaky breath.

Deadpool nodded. "Yes, you can. You are brave and resourceful. Tell her, Logan," he turned to Jody, "he's great with kids. He saved a teen girl from a terrible life and practically raised her himself."

"Stand the fuck up," Logan growled.

They were all silent before Deadpool spoke again. "Wow. Wrong timeline. That's my bad."

"Hey," Jody said, staring at the Logan, "watch the language."

Deadpool looked between Logan and Jody.

"Hm," Logan grunted but didn't argue.

Kaia, with brows raised, stood to her feet. "Okay," she swallowed, "let's go then." She looked at Ellie and Yukio, who nodded in return, removing her dual blades. They watched and waited for Dean to signal at the door that it was safe for them to come, and they dashed over.

Then Castiel and Jody.

Then Deadpool and Wolverine.

"Couldn't that guy in the trench coat just zap us into the building?" Logan asked, sneaking toward the door.

Shaking his head, Deadpool sighed. "Don't try to make sense of tension-building techniques. It's the same premise when people in horror movies go up to the attic after hearing a mysteriously demonic fucking laugh. They know they shouldn't, but they do. Why? The director told them. That, and it adds to the word count."

Inside the complex, Sam, Dean, and Jody removed their flashlights, trying to cut through the dark.

"Tread carefully," Sam whispered, "if you run into trouble, just holler, and we'll find you."

Deadpool removed hiskatanaswhile Wolverine's claws elongated.

Frowning, Dean glanced at Kaia, Ellie, and Yukio. "You sure you can handle yourselves with this?"

With a roll of her eyes, Ellie walked past them. Offering him her middle finger.

"Oh, great," Dean sighed, "more attitude. Just perfect."

Deadpool nodded. "Fuck, you're telling me," he cackled, "she hurts my feelings a lot, but we have a good time."

"Hey." Jody pointed a finger at Deadpool, caught by her severe, mother-bear gaze.

"I'll add a dollar to the swear jar," he put his hands up in defense, kissed two of his fingers, pressed them against Logan's left buttock, and put them back to his lips, "scouts honor."

Logan smacked him upside the head.

"Fuck!" Deadpool rubbed the side of his head.

"Keep track." Jody pointed at Logan.

Logan smirked. "Yes, ma'am."

Every team split up, taking different sections of the complex to weed out.

"Do we know how many there might be?" Jody asked Castiel as they ventured through a long hallway, shining her flashlight in each room as they passed to stun any vampires lurking inside.

Castiel shook his head and swallowed, "There's no telling."

Casting a glance his way, she frowned slightly. "We're going to find her," she smiled, though it was tight with stress, "she's going to be okay."

"You sound so sure."

"I'm not, but I need to keep that hope as long as possible," Jody took a deep breath and turned to the staircase, "my gut is telling me they might have their camp set up in the basement."

"Where are they?" Sam muttered, as his flashlight swept over another empty hallway.

Dean frowned, putting his head into the room. "Maybe we need a new tactic."

"Like?"

Shrugging, he smirked. "Like getting them to come to us," he looked around, "we pick a room and set a few traps."

Sam made a face and nodded. "It's worth a try. Set up in that room and I'll start slamming doors."

"On it."

Deadpool looked down at his feet as loud bangs shook the structure, sending echoes throughout the building.

"Either they're trying to get attention, or someone is fucking someone." Deadpool nodded, tapping his foot. "That could be us, you know?"

Logan rolled his eyes and continued walking the hall.

"What, like Cas and Jody?"

Deadpool shrugged. "Personally, I shipJobby."

"Jobby?" Logan arched a brow at him.

"Bobby and Jody. I could call it Body, but that would just be silly."

"Right."

Stopping at the top of another set of stairs, Logan looked down with narrowed eyes. "Keep going down?"

"On me?"

Logan suddenly had Deadpool pinned to the wall, stabbing through his groin.

"Fuck!" Deadpool gasped, resting his head back. "Okay, maybe I deserved that, but really? Thenethers?"

Twisting his fist, Logan tilted his head as Deadpool whined. Then, as quickly as he'd attacked, he pulled away and started down the steps. After gathering his thoughts and catching his breath, Deadpool turned to look at you.

"I also shipPoolverine, I'm sure you're very surprised," He winked and quickly descended the stairs.

Kaia poked her head around the corner of the stairwell and pulled back. She looked at Ellie and Yukio over her shoulder, giving them a nod.

The vampires were, as they'd predicted, in the basement.

"Should we wait for the others?" Kaia whispered.

A vampire suddenly appeared before her, forcing her to fall backward into Yukio and toppling into Ellie, who glared over them at the vampire.

"Well, well," he grinned, "not too often we have our food delivered."

Getting to their feet, Ellie smirked just as Yukio leaped forward with such grace that Kaia didn't realize she had already severed the vampire's head.

Kaia blinked, staring at the floor where the head rolled away. "Woah," a smile curved her lips, "you're good."

"Let's go get your girlfriend." Ellie returned the slight smile.

Dean looked down at the floor of headless bodies and nodded. "I think we're good to go to another floor. See if we can draw out anymore."

"It's weird," Sam nodded, entering the hallway, "the nest seems so small. I wonder if they're newly built."

"Hey guys!" Deadpool called out, closing the door of a supply closet. "No vampires in there or on the second floor."

"Or the third," Jody said as she and Castiel appeared at the same stairs Deadpool and Logan had come down from, "we're thinking they're all in the basement. Has anyone seen the girls?"

They all shook their heads.

Jody frowned. "I hope they're not already in the basement."

Terrified, ear-splitting screams came from somewhere below their feet. They all exchanged wide-eyed glances before rushing toward the next set of stairs that took them down to the lower level.

Getting there was a blur, but standing at the basement's threshold could only be described as chaos.

"Took you long enough," Ellie rolled her eyes, her boot on the severed head of one of the dozens of vampires now dead on the floor. Staggered and assorted in no particular order.

"Hi, Wade," Yukio waved.

"Hi, Yukio," Deadpool waved back.

Jody, with raised brows, asked, "You three did all of this?"

"Well, we four," Claire stepped from the makeshift cell she'd been prisoner to, taking Kaia's hand as she stared at Yukio and Ellie, "but they did most of it. They're badass."

Moving quickly toward her, Castiel and Jody sighed in relief. "Are you okay?" Castiel asked and frowned, looking her over. "You're different."

Claire swallowed hard and nodded. "They…made me drink it."

Silence stretched before Logan broke with a slight cough. "They made you drink what?"

"Blood…" Sam frowned and took a deep breath, "but if you didn't drink human blood after the vampire blood, there's still time to drink the potion. Do you know whose blood you drank?"

Shaking her head, Claire frowned. "It's too late." She exhaled as Kaia squeezed her hand.

"So that's it?" Dean asked. "You're just gonna be a vampire, and you're okay with that?"

"Of course, I'm not okay with it." Claire snapped at him. "But this life doesn't exactly give you a lot of choices. You, of all people, should know that."

Dean clenched his jaw and glanced at Sam.

"I'm so sorry I left you. I shouldn't have," Kaia murmured, "it was such a cowardly thing to do."

Claire frowned. "You did what you had to. It was the best shot both of us had," she exhaled, "but I think I have to leave for a while." She carefully undid Kaia's interlaced fingers.

"What?" Kaia asked, brows knitting together.

Jody stepped forward. "Hey, you need to understand that you don't have to do things alone anymore, okay? You have a whole family that loves you. We're going to go home, and we're going to deal with this."

Shaking her head, Claire took a step back, avoiding all of their gazes. "I just feel like I need some time away. I've relied on myself most of my life. I can do it again. I'll be okay, but you have to let me go. At least for now."

Kaia shook her head, grabbing her wrist. "I'm not letting you just leave. I've been afraid my whole life, and it only got better when I met you. Where you go, I go."

"We all know heartache," Sam offered gently. We all know loss, and there are things in life that change us completely, but shouldering it all on your own will only make everything so much heavier. We've gone to Hell and back, survived the apocalypse, and been hurt and beaten, but all those things don't have to break us."

"He's right," Deadpool offered, moving toward her, "I lost my mom to cancer, and my alcoholic father beat me with wire hangers, burned his cigarettes on me, and let over my very perverted uncle, but that didn't stop me from hitting the streets for drugs and start hustling and murdering for cash. Nor did it stop the cancer that raged through my whole body and resulted in permanently disfiguring me beyond recognition. I persevered, and dammit, you can too."

Everyone stared at Deadpool, to which he greeted with silence.

"I don't know how to respond to that," Claire said, staring at him.

Deadpool paused, glancing around. "I'm sorry, I thought we were trauma dumping," he glanced around, "is this not a safe space?"

"Anyway," Jody smiled tightly, "how about we just go home, sleep on it, and then we can come up with a plan together."

Logan cleared his throat, and all eyes were on him now. "Vampirism is a disease, yeah? Couldn't the angel guy…"

"Castiel," Deadpool corrected, staring at the floor.

Logan rolled his eyes, "couldn't Castiel just heal the disease?"

Deadpool shook his head and laughed, "We talked about this. That's way too easy of a fix. The writers will never go for it."

"Yes, I believe I can," Castiel said, moving forward and touching Claire's forehead. The bloodlust in her eyes that had taken over her eyes vanished completely.

Deadpool stared at them in shock. "What the fuck?! Do you know how many plotlines could have been saved if you just did your fucking job?" He gestured at Castiel.

Claire snorted and shrugged. "He's got a point."

"Okay, well," Jody nodded, "I'm ready to go home."

A voice bellowed from the corner of the basement. "You think you can come here and DESTROY MY FAMILY!" Jag roared and raced toward them, heading straight at Claire with bared fangs.

Ellie moved between Jag and Claire, narrowing her eyes as she projected a burst of energy at him. With a sonic-boom-like sound, he was thrust backward. He slammed against the wall with such force it left a crackled imprint in the shape of his body.

"George, George, George, of the Jungle…" Deadpool started to sing but switched to humming as Dean glared at him.

Yukio, using a chain, coursed an electric pulse through the dangling metal and tossed it with precision over the vampire's neck. One yank and the already disoriented vampire's head rolled off.

Claire grinned. "That's so cool."

As a group, they all began walking up the stairs. The girls lead the way.

"Are you mutants?" Yukio asked as they started up the stairs.

Smiling, Jody glanced over at Deadpool and Wolverine. "I have a feeling this may have sparked a new friendship," she started for the stairs and paused to turn back, "oh, Logan?"

"Sixty-two," Logan replied, trying to hide a smug smirk.

Deadpool glanced between them before looking down at his fingers. "Hold the fuck up…" he glanced her way, then back down at his fingers, "I said fuck, including the two times just now, a total of five times!"

Clearing his throat, Logan shook his head. "Now it's sixty-four."

Deadpool stared at him. Then his eyes widened with realization. "Oh, right…yeah. He's right. It's sixty-four."

Turning to look at you. "I wasn't lying when I said there weren't any vampires in the supply closet."

Jody raised her brows. "Okay, you owe sixty-four," she turned to Logan, "and you owe one. Now, let's get out of here. I need to start getting rid of…bodies," she said as Castiel made them disappear with a simple snap of his fingers.

"You know, he's right. Things would be much simpler if you just use your powers."

Deadpool nodded. "I wrote a letter to the writers once. They sent me a broken condom in return, but jokes on them, I recycle, and now it's a sprinkler system…" he looked at you, "of sorts."

Turning his attention to Castiel, Deadpool moved closer. "You know, honeybee, you've always had the power to send us away. So why haven't you when you could have?"

Wade blinked and looked around at the apartment. Putting his hands to his face and looking down at himself, he realized he'd even been changed into jeans and a t-shirt.

Logan sighed, settling into his spot on the couch.

Rolling back and forth on the heel of his foot and back onto his toes, hands in his pockets, he eyed Logan. "You, uh…wanna go get something from the supply closet?"

Logan gave a sideways glance and smirked.