How many times did they say those words to each other when one of them was hurt or sick? These words were all they had but to Slim and Jess they were enough.

Author's Notes: Some of these reminisces are true to canon but some are from this author's imagination. This Christmas tale is written in POV and first person narrative style by Slim and Jess.

Chapter 1

Jess

I woke slowly my muscles cramped from the unnatural position they'd been in all night. It's not usual to sleep in a chair but it was the closest I could get to Slim. My neck was stiff but when I heard him call my name again in that breathless groan I tensed. Dad gum! I was sure he'd be better by now, but Sam had said that it would take awhile and Slim was sure taking his time about it. Every syllable of my short name was uttered in a gasp as if each one was being pulled from his core. I took the wet rag and squeezed it out and gently bathed his face and neck. He leaned into the rag, seeking on some level the relief it offered. He lay on his back, the blankets pulled up to his waist where a large bandage wrapped around his chest.

It had been several days now and I was frazzled. Between chores and stages and looking after my Pard, I was getting no sleep and felt myself teetering on the edge of a cliff. For the thousandth time, I wished that he'd not agreed to ride shotgun for the stage. Mort had surmised that something had happened to the wheels as the wagon had tipped over and slammed into the ground killing the driver, both of the passengers and flinging my Pard several feet away leaving him with broken ribs, a broken leg and concussion. He'd been in and out, well, more out I guess, ever since. The thing that bothered me though, was that the strong box was still intact and still in the boot. Had someone tried to rob the stage and failed? Would they try again? Or what if there really was something wrong with the wheel? There I go again! That dad gum phrase 'what if' follows me around all the time!

Heavy frost had formed overnight and if I cared to look through the window the view would have been amazing. I wondered if it would soon snow. After all this time I had finally understood Wyoming winters. I still hated them but the snow and icles surely did look pretty in the morning sun. I looked back at Slim. He was sweating and shivering now, the groans getting louder. I wondered if I should douse him with the laudanum that Sam had left and then I heard him moan my name, "Jesss…."

I was at the side of the bed in seconds. His hand was outside the covers, searching for me, his body whip cording, lifting off the bed. "No!" he yelled and then was silent.

I swept the lock of hair off his forehead feeling the fever heat. Dad gum, he was getting worse. As I dipped the cloth into the now warm water, I felt his eyes on me.

"Jess," he gasped, " help me!"

His eyes locked onto mine and he reached for me.

"I'm here, Slim," I whispered," Hang in there; you're safe, I've gotcha."

"They fired at us, Jess. Five I think. Happened too fast. Bill lost control of horses. I fell. " He moaned again. " Everything hurts."

"Yeah, I know. You've got some broken ribs and your left leg is busted too. You hit your head on something that's what's making you dizzy." My symptom report concluded, I searched my Pard's face for recognition and he slowly nodded.

"Bill?"

I shook my head, " nothing you could have done," I told him.

"The passengers?"

I hesitated. Slim would take this to heart and feel responsible. It might even hinder his recovery but we never lied to each other so I hitched my breath and said very quietly " they're gone too,"

He lay there very quietly after that.

I left his side to get more coffee. While I was out at the well, I gathered the eggs and checked on the horses. The frost was melting into icy puddles and I sloshed my way to the barn and then back again. I pulled up the collar of my fleece lined jacket and sidestepped my way, like a druken sailor, across the yard. I would have to build up the fire. The morning stage would be here soon. Slim was out again, so I made myself some breakfast and ate it standing up watching him sleep. How many times over the last years have I told him," hang in there; you're safe; I've gotcha?" I reckoned he'd said the same to me too. It was comforting to hear someone say they had your back when you were hurting. Even if you couldn't respond, the words meant comfort, love even. For me, the mantra we spoke over each other started that very first day we met.

"Let's have some fun while we wait," Bud Carlin had said to us that morning so long ago. "You were about to square off on 'ole Slim here when we came in," he goaded me.

"We were just horsing around," I told him. 'I might have been mad that I'd been shot at while riding through the town. And I might have been irked to have someone take my pistol and try to run me off their property and I could get riled up when that very same giant of a man with bright blue eyes and a square jaw tried to haul me out of his house by the neck. I was fighting mad then but having to hit you in front of Andy for no good reason, did not sit well with me. '

"Horse around again," Carlin urged me on and so reluctantly I obliged. The minute you went down I cringed. 'I couldn't do anything about it, as I was clocked too.'

Then everything happened all at once and I found myself riding after you, saving you from two ambushes, and shooting some of the gang. The gunfight and fist fight over, I made myself scarce, only to find myself once again facing off with you only this time you offered me a job!'

It wasn't until it was all over when I started noticing the way you were walking, holding onto things as if you were dizzy. I quietly whispered to Jonesy that I thought you might be suffering from a concussion. He concluded as much when you went to get up and swayed almost falling. I was closer to you that time and holding you up, followed Andy to the bedroom. Jonesy banished me to the kitchen and then came out awhile later.

"He got hit pretty hard," Jonesy remarked," thanks for your help."

"Well, " I said, " I gotta be nice to the boss on my first day."

Jonesy just nodded. " I'm gonna send for our doctor when the stage comes," he mumbled.

I took the opportunity to look in on you later. Jonesy was washing dishes and Andy had gone to bed. I sat by your side and when you got restless, I just leaned over you and reassured you that I was there and you were safe. I had no idea that we would be friends, closer than brothers in a few short weeks.

Chapter 2

Jess

"Someone once told me that if you've got an injured friend whose unconscious and you want to wake them up that you gotta talk to them. That somehow they hear you. So, I'm gonna talk to you and you'll get so interested that you'll want to join the conversation , that's Andy's word for it, so here goes.

Looking back on all the times we've patched each other up there's been a few times when I was really scared that I might loose you. Now I know that might come as a shock to you, me being scared of something, but yeah, I was scared. As much as I tell you that I like the Big Open I still fear it too. There are so many things that can happen to a fella out there. And yet, things can happen right here in Laramie too.

That shoot out in the bank, remember that? Oh, I got Andy to safety alright and I did shoot one of the robbers but I got shot too. It had been awhile but you don't forget the pain and yeah, I was in an awful lot of it. I remember lying on that bed in the doc's office. My head was aching something fierce and I was dizzy. My insides felt like they were on fire but the worse thing was I was alone. There I was in a strange town, newly hired by a right upstanding citizen and maybe out of a job to boot.

Somewhere I woke up and you were there, by my side, telling me that it was going to be alright; that I was safe; that you were not going anywhere. I was afraid I was dreaming so I grabbed your arm and begged you not to go anywhere. When I finally kicked the raging fever I woke up to find you sitting beside me. You hadn't moved in all that time. I hadn't lost you!

Then there was the time that coot Parkison shot you and you refused to shoot back. I was so proud of you and yeah so scared too. I remember holding the lantern for the doc and then holding you down as you tried to get off the table. The pain you must have been in.

But the worst thing was when you told me to go home and tell Andy what had happened. I didn't feel up to the task and I knew he'd feel betrayed that you lied to him. Doc said you had to stay there for a few days because he didn't want you moved, well that made me real nervous. When Andy found the rifle and you gave it back to Parkison well that kinda put an end to the feud, didn't it? You recovered right quick after that and then you were right back to bossing me about.

I gotta bathe you again, Pard. That fever of yours is a stubborn cuss. Sam came out yesterday, did you know? He says your ribs are getting better but he wants me to keep you in bed for another week. It'll be almost Christmas then. You'll miss cutting down the tree.

By far, the worst time was when Joel Greevy shot you and pushed you off the mountain. Thinking of that cold night, makes me shiver even now. I knew you were out there on the trail somewhere. It was getting colder and Mort was gonna send everyone home. You were gonna die if someone didn't find you. I gotta get a hold of myself Pard. I don't want you coming to and finding me pacing and shivering and yeah, crying as I remember that night. The whole family got involved. Mike hid the horses; Daisy, bless her heart, not only lied to Mort but to Bates as well. I did find Greevy and the loot and you eventually recovered but it was a scary time and I couldn't be with you like I should have been.

"The stage is here. I gotta help Mose. Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

"Dadgum,Slim! Here I am doing everything I can and you still ain't awake! " I wanted to shake him but knew that wasn't gonna do any good. So I went back to my memory bank and searched for another adventure but as I rung out the rag I was struck with the fact that I wouldn't be here except for the fact that this man had changed my life.

"Here I am, Pard, reminding you of our adventures when I can't remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday! Oh yeah, nothing. Wasn't your fault. I forgot. For a long time while I was drifting, I had no home. The sky was my roof and my home was my saddle. When you gave me a job, you gave me a family too, did you know that? I know I've said thanks before, but your friendship and your belief in me means everything. I'm so thankful for our being friends.

Chapter 3

Slim

I woke up to darkness and pain. Conscious thoughts crept over me. I felt like I was floating in a black fog, unable to move or speak. I could hear Jess talking, slow and gentle, whispers close to my ears and far away at the same time. I couldn't remember why I was hurt. I tried to turn over but there was a bandage all around me preventing me from moving. I was trapped by my own body! "Jess!" I tossed to and fro, not sure if he heard me.

"Hang in there, Pard. I've gotcha."

He had heard me! But how come I can't speak? Am I dreaming? I'm not dead, but there is something really wrong here. He's putting a cool cloth over my forehead. It feels nice. I feel myself sinking further down into the cushioning blackness.

I was hot, too hot. I tried to push the covers off but I wasn't strong enough. I looked around our shared bedroom. Jess had put a bowl on the table between our beds and there was his rocker on the other side of my bed. Despite my injuries I smiled inwardly remembering the times I had sat by his side watching, worrying and caring for my best friend.

I had come to realize that the cocky brash attitude he wore was a costume. He wore it to hide the many scars he'd suffered as a kid whose family had been murdered in front of him and later as a prisoner of war. I knew some of his history but it didn't matter. He was my friend. When things happened to him I worried too.

The first time was when Roaney Bishop came looking for him. At first, I was angry that he made Andy lie and then when I found out about that man from Jonesy, I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I'd let him down somehow. Jonesy told me that Jess had warned him about Bishop. That he was not right in the head and could be dangerous. Jonesy felt that he had left because he didn't want him to hurt us, especially Andy. I wasn't sure what I could have done to help my Pard but sitting around the ranch wasn't much help. Then after Bishop died and Jess was still in town I almost went after him to haul him back where I felt he belonged. Jonesy again spoke words of wisdom that over me. " He has to want it, your family. He's like a wild thing, looking for a place to set down stakes. You have to give him time and space to work it out. "

I worry a lot about saying the right thing to him. I'm not a preacher or anything like that and you'd think I would be used to it by now, but when I'm up against his stone wall of stubbornness, I'm often stuck behind my own tongue. When Slade came riding in, all high and mighty and demanded that I fire him well, I just saw red. Nobody comes onto my property and tells me who to hire or fire and this is Jess' home! We're partners, yes, but we're brothers and family first. He wouldn't come out for lunch and I was so sure that given the chance he'd ride away. I took a chance and tried to convince him that the place wouldn't be the same without him and his troubles. For a minute I was afraid that he'd just laugh at me but he just got up and followed me out to lunch. Thank goodness.

I had made a promise to myself that no matter what, if he felt that he needed to protect us or draw trouble away from us, that I'd do everything in my power to bring him home where he belonged. I had no idea that I'd have to go almost all the way to Canada or New Mexico to find him though. He's worth it though. Our friendship is worth it. I'm so thankful for us.

Chapter 4

Slim and Jess

He kept glancing at me from the corner out of the corner of his eye when he thought he could get away with it. It was kind of endearing, although I'd never tell him that! I was warm sitting by the fire, all tucked up in the blanket he'd found in the attic. There were so many things I wanted to tell him but words were stuck in my throat. Maybe he knew, because he had pulled his chair closer to me.

"Pard, you've got that look in your eye. What's going on?"

"What makes you think something's going on?" My voice, was rough with disuse.

"Slim," he looked hard at me," just spit it out!"

I took a breath. It was still painful of course, but I was getting better. " Jess, there is something I want to talk with you about, but I'm not sure how to say it."

"Just spit it out, Pard. We don't stand on, what's that word?"

"Ceremony," I supplied.

"Yeah that, we don't stand on ceremony. "

"Ok, when I was lying in bed and slowly coming to, I heard you talking to me. You were remembering some of the adventures we had together. And I started remembering some too. The thing is, when we remember those adventures we never talk about how we came to be at each other's side. "

"Uh?"

"The invisible bond we share, Jess. That feeling I get when you're in trouble or hurt. Don't ask me how, but when you were beat up by the Kerrigan brothers, I knew something was wrong not just because you were supposed to be back in half an hour. My chest hurt. And even before that when you were drowning in the Lolo River. I heard the splashing and knew it was you."

"You forget, we're blood brothers, Slim."

"Yeah, but this is more than that, Jess. Few people know about our twin scars, but Daisy and Mike and Mort and even Andy know about our connection. I just want to say that I never take it for granted and I'm thankful every day that you came riding onto Sherman land that day."

"Aw, Slim, that goes both ways. You know, through the years I've lived here, I've come to realize that when you offered me a job, you offered me a part of your family and a part of you. You took an ex-gunslinger, a drifter and a no account into your home and gave him a chance to become a better man, a better friend and a father to young Mike. All those things would never have been possible if I'd tried it on my own. That invisible thread it tightens, have you noticed? "

"Yeah, especially when the hurt or sickness or trouble gets worse. And sometimes, I even know where you are!"

"I do turn up in some awful places, don't I?"

"Oh, you mean mine shafts, right?"

"Exactly! "

"Say, what time is it, Pard?"

I struggled to sit higher and saw the hands of the clock hit twelve. " It's Christmas, Jess! It just turned midnight. "

"One present each?" He looked so much like an eager Mike on his first Christmas at the ranch. He got up and reached for the small package wrapped in brown paper. I gestured to a similar one near his.

He opened the package slowly and I heard him take a breath as he looked down at the pocket watch I bought him.

"Slim," his voice was hushed. "It's beautiful. It's too much."

"Read the inscription, Jess."

"To Jess Harper, thank you for holding on."

His eyes filled with tears as our hands clasped together. " I'll always hold on," he promised solemnly.

"Open yours," he motioned to me.

I opened the somewhat lumpy package and there nestled in the folds of white paper was a beautiful belt buckle. The front had two horses that looked suspiciously like Alamo and Traveler but it was the reverse that got me. Our new brand, SHR was emblazoned for anyone to see.

I shook my head but when I looked up, he was smiling and I knew that the time of tears was over. We were truly brothers connected by an invisible thread that kept us together now and in the future. Our Christmas was memorable that year because we had finally begun to realize that it wasn't fate or good fortune that kept us together it was our brotherly connection. It was a living, breathing rope that coiled around us ready to unfurl its tendrils of love and strength and caring.

Merry Christmas everyone!

MS