Disclaimer: Not mine, no money. Just enjoy playing in the sandbox. Lengthy notes at the bottom.
And yes, the opening italicized quote is taken directly from the anime, but we've already covered that I do this purely for the love of the Fandom. I hope I have done the characters justice.
"And what a lonely love you are. The finest wine to inebriate every fiber of the heart. But, alas I cannot be the chalice that will hold you. Oh lord I pray that another chalice will appear to embrace that love. You deserve it."
The smooth baritone cadence, punctuated by sad, sharp azure eyes glossy with tears, jolted her from slumber. Again, this dream, Merlin lamented, scrubbing her face with her palms and raking her fingers through tangled black locks, trying to shake off the melancholy brought on by the memory of Escanor's last words. A perfunctory glance at the windows of her room promised another sunny, picturesque day in Camelot, her home since the Sins had parted ways again after all was said and done. Ban, Elaine, King and Diane had returned to the Fairy Forest, Elizabeth and Meliodas to the Kingdom of Liones, and Gowther had become nomadic again, drifting between his friends in his pursuit of knowledge and understanding his own existence. Merlin had followed Arthur to Camelot, the envy of seeing her comrades settling down with their loves and starting families of their own almost too much for her tattered grieving heart to bear in more than small doses.
She had her bits of happiness, of course - most notably little Ywain, a blessing and miracle she still had no explanation for - but she would be a liar to say there wasn't a gaping, lonely hole in her heart where a certain Sin of Pride ought to be. For a few lingering moments she allowed herself to simply perch on her bed, knees hugged to her chest and watch the slow, steady ascent of the midmorning sun and basking in her favorite memories of the Lion.
It was four years to the day of his passing, the burns along her jaw long since healed and numb to the touch, not at all dissimilar to the state of her heart. She'd only discovered it's regained ability to beat for something other than her own life force in the short time between Escanor's fight with Zeldris and his untimely passing, all for nothing it seemed most days. There were attractive enough men in Arthur's court, insistent upon pursuing the Boar Sin, but not one could hold a candle to the ginger haired poet she yearned for. For what was a candle compared to the Sun itself?
With a soft huff, Merlin heaved herself out of bed, the soft hum of Hanna's voice in the next room coaxing Ywain to come eat her breakfast. At first, Merlin had scoffed at the idea of a nanny when Arthur had suggested it, but eventually she had caved, realizing how hard it was to juggle her research, political responsibilities as one of the King's advisors and motherhood all on her own. Even with the help, Ywain was a handful, always up to something despite not quite being four; she had Merlin's brains and already showing an affinity for both Merlin's brand of magic and that of her father's Sunshine, though it was not influenced by Mael's Grace as Escanor's had. It was a puzzle she was still trying to sort out, how she had become pregnant with the Lion's child without having had such relations with him, but while Ywain sported Merlin's fine black hair and eyes even more golden than her own, the cut of Ywain's features and fierce sense of loyalty and pride were unmistakable. She took a moment to bask in the sight of her daughter perched at the table, obediently, if a little messily, spooning up mouthfuls of porridge, the fringe of her perpetually messy mop of dark hair tickling long eyelashes.
The girl swallowed thickly and beamed at her, "Good morning, Momma!"
"Good morning, little one." Merlin tucked into her own meal and silence fell over them, aside from the quiet clatter of Hanna tidying the kitchen and humming to herself.
"Are we going to see Papa today?" Ywain asked suddenly, bright gold eyes awash with curiosity.
"After breakfast," she promised.
They visited the empty tomb often enough, but always made a point to linger in the shadows cast by the statue Arthur had insisted on commissioning in remembrance of the Lion Sin of Pride. At Merlin's behest, it had been carved in his midmorning form, caught somewhere between both sides of him - still reserved with just a wisp of his nighttime stutter when he was caught off-guard, but still brimming with self-assured pride and muscles testing the stretch of his neat white shirts. The stone worker had been impeccably accurate in capturing Escanor's visage, even if the eyes lacked the shimmer of the summer sky and the warmth of roiling emotions behind them. After all, stone could not capture everything.
"I'm finished, can I go to the garden to pick some flowers for him?"
"I'll take you, Ywain, if Miss Merlin is okay with that?"
"Thank you Hanna; I am nearly finished myself, I will catch up."
It is time to wake up, Lion. It is time to find your way back. The almost familiar voice rang clear in his head, though audibly, there was no other sound accompanying the distant drip of water in the dark confines of the space around him. Every inch of him ached and tingled strangely as he took in his surroundings. Escanor recognized this mental cavern from his childhood, he had constructed it himself years ago to contain the Other side of him, the side that had lashed out and hurt his brother, the side called 'Monster'.
"W-who's there? Sh-show yourself." He cleared his throat in the wake of the stuttered question, clammy fingers fisting themselves together at his sides.
He waited in silence for many heartbeats before giving up and slowly following the drip, drip coming from the gloom ahead. One hand trailed the rough wall of the tunnel, for once glad of his small nighttime stature in the narrow passage. He kept a measured pace, cautious of the loose stones under the soles of his shoes, ignoring the rising sense of urgency in his gut. Slowly, the passage widened into a vast cavern, the end of which he could not see. The ground here was damp with little puddles of water, another mental construct of his to show the bits of his own latent power he hadn't managed to lock away with the rest at the dam. This was why he was so weak, so useless without the Grace of Sunshine - he had locked all his own power away. He accidentally splashed in a puddle crossing the almost dry riverbed as he stumbled through the near darkness, already aching muscles wincing at the small influx of power that flooded him and made them grow. It felt warm and familiar, not unlike Sunshine, just lacking the slow death burn of the Grace. He still wondered if his natural power had been what had made Sunshine choose him when Mael had become Estarossa. Perhaps he could ask Merlin if he ever found her again…When. When he found Merlin again. He would keep his promise to return to his Lady's side no matter the cost, if she would have him.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he came upon the solid steel floodgates that barred the passage of his strength from consuming him. A tall figure stood at the top, slowly emptying bucket after bucket of water over the dam to the riverbed below.
"H-Hello?" Escanor's voice echoed awkwardly in the gloom, but it was effective in catching the figure's attention. He jumped back in surprise when the unknown fearlessly lept from the top of the wall to land surely on his feet before the startled poet.
"You are here." To call it a man wasn't quite accurate, though the figure was certainly masculine in looks, it was more the shadow of a man than anything, save the pair of glowing orange cat eyes staring down at him. "Open the gates; it is time for us to wake."
"Us? And I can't, there is no key."
The being looked skyward, heaving a frustrated sigh, propping its hands on its hips. "Every lock has a key, Escanor of Castellio."
"You k-know me? Who are you?" Nervously, he pushed at the glasses sliding on his nose.
"I suppose, in a way, you could say I am you. The one you call a Monster. But our opportunity to awake is short, you must open the gate."
"Never! I locked my power away for a reason; I couldn't live with myself if it hurt someone again, especially Miss M-Merlin or…or one of my comrades." He looked down at his feet and the puddle one was uncomfortably close to.
Escanor felt, more than saw, the being roll his eyes in exasperation, "You are still afraid of our strength? You mastered Sunshine, an Archangel's Grace that ought to have destroyed you from the outset. And yet you learned to wield it to the point of mastery until its all consuming blaze turned you to less than ash on the breeze. You had no training as a boy, no purpose, no direction - that is why We lashed out. Now you are older and wiser, your power will heed your call."
"How can I trust you? You have only brought me p-pain."
"The real monsters of the world have brought you pain, not Us. We have always sought to protect you. We admit to perhaps overestimating the durability of your kind, but you will forgive this, We are older than time itself and unused to the frailty of humans."
Escanor's mustache twitched, "What are you?"
The Other frowned, folding its well muscled arms crossly, "We do not have time for lengthy explanations, so for brevity, let Us say We are Sol."
"T-the sun?"
"Sol," it corrected with a glare, "We are Sol, and you are Our Master. Now open the gate."
"I-I…I have no key. I never made one, I h-had no intentions of ever opening the gate."
"Then why the lock?" It jabbed a thumb over its shoulder at the locked gate in question.
Escanor couldn't answer that one. He counted a dozen heartbeats pounding in his ears before the Other spoke again, "You want to return to Merlin, do you not?"
"M-more than anything, though I doubt she'd have me as I am, pitiful and weak."
Another heavy sigh. "Open the gate and you will not be weak."
Even the scrawny barkeep was growing frustrated at the circular debate, "I. Have. No. Key."
"We do not have time for this foolishness, Escanor. I can see the glow in your pocket from here. Open the gate, or you will miss your chance to have her again."
Escanor frowned, patting first at his vest pockets, then his pants, and upon feeling something solid in the right one, fumbled to grasp it. He finally managed, withdrawing a heavy brass key. Huh. Perhaps there was a key after all, and he had hidden it from even himself until he was strong enough to use it. Without removing his gaze from the key in his palm, he asked one final question, "Will I still be me?"
The Other uncrossed its arms and shifted its weight to one leg, a stance he was well familiar with in his daytime form, "We will be one again, you will lose this puny form, but you will not be high noon either. However, to answer your true question, yes your psyche will remain unaltered, you will just regain your natural powers…think of it as finally becoming your true form."
His tongue darted out to lick suddenly dry lips and felt his pulse quicken. Looking past the Other, he once more took in the sight of the floodgates, took a deep breath to steel his nerves and brushed past the looming shadow of Sol. His hand trembled only slightly as he pushed the key home and felt the whole cavern start to rumble as the tumblers of the lock began to groan and move. At first the water sprayed out in tiny streams, but as the final tumblers pulled back, the sheer force of water behind the gate slammed them apart and he was swept away by the veritable tsunami that engulfed him, for once unafraid of what may come. The last thing he remembered was the Other's voice grinning in his head, Let us go home.
"Oh momma, can't we just stay a little longer?" Ywain pleaded, tugging on her fingers.
"You will be late for your lessons and I have research to continue," Merlin sighed, she too loathe to leave their vigil.
Ywain had brought a lovely bouquet of sunflowers and roses from the castle gardens to lay at the feet of her father's statue and Merlin had brought a blueberry muffin - one of Escanor's favorites - carefully wrapped in a white box from one of the local bakeries.
The girl's forlorn expression tugged at her heartstrings and she looked heavenward before finally relenting, "Alright, one more goodbye little one."
Ywain clapped with glee and pointed up at him, "I want to give him a hug! Will you fly me up?"
"As you wish." Merlin lifted the little girl into her arms, propping her on her hip and slowly glided into the air, reaching out to lay a hand on the statue's chiseled shoulder for balance when Ywain launched forward to wrap short arms around its neck. Focused as she was on maintaining her hold on her daughter, Merlin was not prepared for what happened next. A sudden warmth bloomed under her palm and a large hand found the small of her back. "Merlin? Is that really you?"
The smooth baritone voice jolted her and even caused Ywain to squeak in surprise and cling to her mother's neck. Ginger hair fluttered in the summer breeze and azure eyes squinted in the light of almost high noon.
"E-Escanor?"
A chuckle rumbled behind the thick mustache smiling gently at her, "I thought stuttering was my thing?" There were unshed tears in his eyes as the hand at her spine moved to cup her cheek and a calloused thumb swiped away tears she hadn't realized she was crying. "I promised I would always find my way back. I'm sorry if I took too long."
Merlin wasn't sure what to say, only able to lean into the warmth of his palm still on her cheek, "Oh, Escanor," she finally managed.
His blue eyes slowly traveled to the girl on her hip, and a confused frown tugged at his mouth, "Who is this?"
"My name is Ywain, Papa, and I'm almost four!" she grinned.
"Papa?" he parroted and he looked once more to the Mage, "Merlin? How?"
"I still don't have an answer for that, but she is yours."
"Mine? A-A daughter? I- We have a daughter?"
It was Merlin's turn to swipe away the tears leaking from his eyes as she nodded, "Yes, somehow, we do."
The next instant, they were nearly swallowed by his fierce embrace and he buried his nose in her hair, "If you will have me, I will never leave your side again."
"I would accept nothing less, my Escanor."
She felt more than heard the hitch in his breath as he truly started to weep, clutching her closer to his chest.
"Papa, are you okay?"
A chuckle broke through his tears and he pulled his head back enough to look at the girl, "Yes, Ywain, truly I am." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I have never been more okay in my life."
She giggled, "Your mustache tickles!"
Another laugh pealed from his lips and Merlin found she couldn't help herself in asking, "And what of my kiss? I've yet to receive one."
Escanor's smile softened considerably, "Please allow me to rectify my mistake, my Lady."
His lips were on hers then, a steady, firm pressure that would have made her weak in the knees had her feet been on solid ground for all the unspoken promises it held.
"Not such a lonely love anymore, I should think," she whispered as they parted slowly when the need for air finally won out.
Author's Notes: Hello, everyone! I know, I'm surprised I'm not dead too! Hahaha. This pairing has been a long time coming from me, honestly. I tried to walk away from fan fiction and focus on my original works, as I would like to publish…someday… It wasn't until this past summer that I gave into the urge to write after meeting my best friend in a very unlikely place called Mafia City. He is the literal embodiment of Escanor, I swear, and it took months to get him to break the character and even now, he still plays our favorite Lion Sin flawlessly when he isn't just being himself in our Clan Chat (which honestly isn't much of a difference, hahaha). But you're not here to read about him, you're here to read about my inspiration for coming back from the figurative dead. And who am I to deny my dear readers?
Well, this was meant to be fluffy shenanigans about Escanor, Merlin and Ywain, but it very quickly took on a life of its own, as my stories are wont to do. And I'm okay with that, it turned out positively adorable in my opinion, regardless. My plan had been to delve a bit into the why's and how's of Ywain (there is very little in the way of information on her as far as I could find, aside from being the child of Escanor and Merlin) as she led her parents through some harmless, but wild parental adventures, but the fluff won out in the end, so I will sum up briefly here for you. Ywain is the direct result of a tiny fragment of Escanor's soul embedding itself into Merlin's flesh during their kiss, just before his death. *sobs*
Sol, as well, was supposed to have a larger role to play, but I still feel like I did my interpretation of Escanor's inner "Monster" justice, making him otherworldly and ethereal, and I am rather partial to exploring the idea more in future stories. I feel like my own floodgates have been opened delving into this Fandom and already have a second, even fluffier and equally eccentric story to share with you all featuring my favorite pair of Sins. But for now, these notes are getting long and I have both fluff and original work to poke at. If you have any questions, comments or feedback, please don't hesitate to reach out, otherwise, Captain Dreki, out!
(*o)／＼(-*)