Chapter 5

I AM NOT CLICKBAITING there will be sexy stuff in this fic later, i just like having my characters really get to know each other before they do stuff like that. so stop complaining that my fic is boring, this is all very important character stuff that must be established before these three start kissing ok tbh i kinda want to write a gossip girl fic now so i might end up speedrunning some of the plot in the next few chapters but ig all u horny Bardragmers will get what you want quicker

The three sexy Melskinites had a very funny and witty conversation on the deck for about 20 more lines, then all went back below deck, each with their character developed in an interesting way.

"Ok", said Dondragmer once he and Bar were safely below deck and out of earshot of their honored guest, who had retired to the spare cot in the galley. "Suppose there are indeed two different bowl–"

"Well, they wouldn't be bowls," said Don. "The whole thing would almost resemble a kind of deformed globe."

"Let's call the one we live on the 'Global South', and the one he lives on the 'Global North'. Not that they exist, of course." The two agreed that these were good and unconfusing names.

"It's unworkable," insisted Don. "Completely unworkable. Like, think about it – if there is a whole other half of our planet beyond the Rim, how come they've never made contact with us before?"

"This is true," agreed Barlennan. "And yet, think of it – as we travel up towards the Rim, in the 'North' direction in English, the races become less and less civilized, and more and more barbarian. This is true not only of the Cetasciens, the Psyrens, the Grogillypoglarans, but also of the lesser Melskinite types that live on the islands. So perhaps if this 'Global North' exists, it is populated by only the stupidest and least advanced members of our kind, and is the home of dozens of other, even more degenerate races. Then it's no surprise they never made contact with us."

"I thought of this," assured Dondragmer. "But that's missing the point. If there did exist a 'Global North', then gravity would once again increase as one crosses the space between the Rims of the two bowls and head towards the other pole of the globe."

"So what?" asked Bar.

"So what?" Don, incensed, erupted into a lecture on the role of gravitation in the development of technology, philosophy, and civilization – low gravity was the furnace of progress, dictating historical destiny from the invention of the wheel to the Seventh War of Emancipation. "Where weights are light, life is easy," he insisted. "Where the hauling of bricks and stones is impossible, nothing will be built. Where the plow weighs seven tons, no farms exist. Do people build factories in high-gravity zones?"

"Yes, all the time!" said Bar. "All of our canned-food factories are located in higher gravity zones."

"Right," agreed Don, "But that's just the cost of labor. And the high gravity makes the canning process easier, as one does not need to use as much hydraulic power to make an individual can. But the people living in those zones could never have industrialized without us."

"Why not?"

"Because low gravity inspires innovation. No one can hold their head high if doing so hurts one's neck, nor can anyone look up at the stars in the crushing weight of the less-civilized lands. We got sent here because it is dangerous, because the work we do is hard – everyone who gets sent to the Rim knows this. Have you ever heard of an easy Rim job?"

"This makes sense," nodded Barlennan. "So, if 'the Global North' exists –"

"Then it would have to be as developed as us. And that is impossible."

Barlennan thought about this for a few moments. "I mean – according to Lickergisper, they know more about Melskin than we do."

"Ah," said Dondragmer, "Here lies the logical fallacy. You suppose that Melskin is a globe, and then imagine the people on the other side of the globe who believe it to be a globe, and so see them as 'more advanced'. But that is only because you've accepted their faulty premise in imagining that they do in fact exist, which presupposes that they are right about Melskin. Consider instead that Melskin is, in reality, a bowl. Ergo, the hypothetical people in the 'Global North' are complete idiots, believing themselves to be living on a globe. Ergo, they are idiots despite the fact that they should be as smart as us – knowing that we live on a bowl, and that they do not exist. And because that's a contradiction, they must not exist."

Barlennan thought through the steps in Dondragmer's argument. "That checks out."

okie guys im really proud of this chapter i feel like i got really like edgy and political and i hope u guys appreciate it.