Chapter 7

okie here's chap 7 after some ~delay~ sorry guys! had a precalc test :3

anyway i tried doing some research before writing this chap but when i googled melskin i got distracted by this: https/product/mel-skin/ :0 anyway if u were wondering how to repair a tear in a bald cap – there u go luvs

ok getting back to the fic now bc im getting bored of this idea and just kind of want an ending to happen – any advice?

"Lickergisper?" asked the Bree's chief ethnographer, Setarloniue. "Do you understand what we're doing here?"

"Frankly, I can't remember anything you said before that," replied Lickergisper.

Poujinallow, the Bree's assistant chief ethnographer lowered his matrix-like spectacles and allowed his wizened mass of eyes a moment to readjust. "We are trying to find your home."

"My home?" asked Lickergisper.

"Maybe it's a planet with lots of caves! Where the people would have evolved to reproduce naturally-occuring echoes as a form of aural camouflage," suggested Ray, the freelance maritime ethnographer.

"Write it down in the 'Maybe' column," instructed Setarloniue. "Let's try a more direct approach, since the subject is clearly capable of some intelligible speech. Can you tell us about where you're from?"

"I'm from South. On the planet of Melskin."

"Append to 'planetary character' – 'duplicitous', 'manipulative', 'scheming'," instructed Poujinallow. Ray scribbled on the clay orb (which is what Melskinites use to write stuff down because if they used pen and paper they would always be piercing the paper on accident) he held in his arms, diligently making the requisite swirls with his opposable chitin-like leg hairs.

"I'm not lying! I'm not… scheming!" insisted Lickergisper once more. "I'm from the other side of Melskin. The side that faces the other way!"

"The other way of what?" pressed Poujinallow.

"I don't know!" Lickergisper sobbed.

A knock came at the door. "Who is it?" asked Ray.

With no reply, Dondragmer came shuffling through the door.

"Mister Dondragmer, please," moaned Poujinallow, "We told you to stay out of our research."

"I know," admitted Don. "But after the captain was cannibalized in that dreadful mutiny, I've come to get lonely an awful lot. Can't I please sit-in on the ethnographic examination?"

"Please, sirs," insisted Lickergisper. "Let Don stay!"

Setarloniue grumbled. "Who knows? Maybe the subject will be more cooperative this way."

"What if we figure out what kind of atmosphere they have on his home planet?" proposed Ray.

"Could work," Poujinallow nodded pensively. "We only have a few gases to work with onboard, but we could at least rule one or two out. Question is, do we have an airtight room in which to keep the subject?"

"Hang on!" said Dondragmer. "I have an idea."

"Whatever do you mean, Mr. Dondragmer?" stammered Ray.

"Gentlemen," said Don with a flourish. "I too once thought the thing before you was an alien. I too believed this disgusting wretch was some visitor from another earth, robed haughtily in the facsimile of our anatomies. But this is not true, as I will demonstrate forthwith! This man, this creature… They are of Melskin."

"Impossible!" roared Setarloniue. "We of Melskin know our planet is a bowl, but the subject insists we are wrong. The only explanation is that they simply do not know what they are talking about!"

"Behold!" Dondragmer sprang up – his jaws pulsating with determination, his eyes wild. "Lickergisper – show me how Melskinites make love!"

Lickergisper ran at Dondragmer and they did the sex stuff, and were very good at it. The sex was so so good that Lickergisper invented antigravity, time travel, and a method of reviving the dead. So Barlennan came back and they made the gravity on Melskin normal (which means there were never any more problems) and their time traveling throuple sailed the seas together for the rest of their natural lives.

wow! thank you all so much for reading my whole story! I'm really proud of the ending but I know it will probably be taken down for being too nsfw. whatever. have a nice hanukkah losers and i will see u in the new year w my next fanfic "Lovelock's Love Lock". he meets mother gaia, it gets oedipal, u get it