I was training hard. My muscles felt so sore I could cry by the evening, but I loved the feeling.

It signified growth. Bettering myself.

Strength.

Cassian trained me during the mornings and then Azriel showed me how best to use a sword and my wings.

Both were not progressing as fast as my hand to hand combat skills. I could still barely get off the ground with my wings.

And I was banished to use the wooden swords for at least a year,

according to Azriel.

"You're doing well."

He winked at me kindly as he left the forest area after training.

His compliment stuck my ego.

He raised an eyebrow as I looked at him sheepishly.

"Can I practice with one of your swords?" I asked innocently.

The humour in his face fell.

"Given I don't want to see you impaled," He shot me a sarcastic look, "No."

I rolled my eyes. The Shadowsinger had a dry humour that seldom emerged though was highly entertaining when it did.

He walked out of the forest, his shadows dancing around his shoulders.

The sun beat down on my shoulders as I trained with Cassian.

It was just Cassian and the trees blowing in the wind at our usual sparring spot, no sign of anyone else.

Rhys and the others were away on diplomatic missions with the other Courts, which left much quieter days that I desperately filled with training and court duties, eager to be productive.

I scanned the training area with my eyes to be sure a certain someone wasn't around, then decided to try my luck.

Cassian smirked, looking puzzled, waiting for me to speak.

I raised my brows innocently.

"Hey, can I borrow a real sword for training?"

Cassian tilted his head, an amused expression on his face.

I smiled back at him sweetly.

"Sure!" He said with forced humour.

"Really?!" I smiled surprised, staring at the smirk on his face.

Cassian's eyes darted to my right for a flash and back to me.

I turned my head and jumped in fright at the large figure was next to me.

Azriel stood with his arms crossed, an amused smile on his face.

Cassian's laugh boomed over the wind.

My hand flung to my chest, trying to calm my beating heart.

"Where the hell did you come from," I muttered in annoyance.

Azriel chuckled.

"Nice try." He winked, his eyes meeting Cassian as he chuckled in harmony.

"You can't play Mum and Dad off each other, Feyre."

Cassian took a sip of water, still chuckling as Azriel joined him.

After training, the others went up to the house with Cassian leaving to the Illyrian camp for a few hours. I wandered to the woods having a bit more energy than usual today.

I needed extra wing strength practice.

My back groaned as I worked on opening and closing my wings whilst holding them off the ground. Sweat dripped down my spine in minutes.

I was grateful for the peaceful sound of the forest and some alone time.

When my core shook with exhaustion, I decided to move onto another skill.

Dagger throwing.

If I couldn't yet wield a sword, a dagger would have to do.

I threw my two blades one after the other at the nearest pine tree, smiling as a secured a perfect target hit.

I was always good at knife throwing as a human too, forced to survive.

I threw the daggers repetitively, the pine tree target chipping a steady growing hole as my accuracy improved each time.

My arms shook with exhaustion and my knees wobbled with fatigue as I collected them again and again.

I used my magic to pull them from the tree, my muscles aching too much.

My body was so tired but I was enjoying the fun.

Mustering my magic this time, I focussed for the next throws on pure strength given I had the accuracy now.

My knees shook with fatigue as I steadied my feet into the earth.

I summoned a strong gust of magic in my palms, swirling in circles like a raging ocean.

I fired, letting go of both knives one after the other, as fast as possible, using the magic to propel them.

The first one plowed to the hilt in the tree, the second one misfiring.

My brain was tired, my body sweating and for some reason I did not process fast enough as the second blade hilt hit the tree and rebounded with such force, straight towards me.

I moved, my legs too slow, not even shielding myself or even thinking to, my body too sore to react fast.

I felt my stomach burn as the dagger sliced through my shirt, clattering on the ground a distance away.

I gasped in shock and pain , lifting my shirt up.

A large horizontal gash opened my stomach, blood flowing so much more than I expected, the volume making me feel almost faint with surprise.

I pressed my tattered shirt into it, applying pressure, breathing deeply, cursing the dizziness I felt.

It would heal in a few hours.

I cursed myself, leaving the daggers on the ground in frustration.

Each step rattled the pain in my side.

I felt the warm liquid saturating my shirt.

I willed away my queasiness.

My cheeks flushed red.

I could not believe it. How stupid could one be.

Azriel would never let me use a sword now.

My pride struck me. I'd keep this from the two Illyrians to avoid having to hear the likely months of taunting once Cassian found out.

I kept my left hand pressed hard into the wound, swallowing nausea.

I zipped my jacket up tight, grateful it was black in colour.

I trudged towards the house.

Pushing open the large wooden door, I tried my best act normal, avoiding the limp that my body wanted to use, to avoid the jarring pain each step.

Hopefully I could just duck upstairs-

"Hey, Feyre."

My head snapped up in surprise.

Cassian stood leaning over a map on the dining table, Azriel next to him.

"What time did you want to leave for the Court of Nightmares?"

I suppressed a sigh.

"Just after dawn sounds good."I said casually, relief easing my tension as the two Illyrians gaze stayed buried on the map.

I had totally forgotten we were going to that hellhole tomorrow. Planning diplomatics, keeping them in check.

Rhys had only agreed for me to go with the Illyrians. I was glad to lighten his constant busy load.

I held in my desire to limp and flattened my general nauseated expression to a neutral look. Looks like the first aid would have to wait.

Cassian pointed to the map sprawled on the table.

"I think we need to change this section. Keep them more secluded." He pointed his bronze fingers to the left corner. Azriel nodded.

I was grateful for their attention to be preoccupied.

My stomach burned and my blood pressure was dropping. I should have eaten breakfast today. That way I'd be more equipped for tolerating a stomach gash.

I approached the table, gritting my teeth at the wetness of my shirt with each step.

I silently leaned two hands on the table across from them, keeping my distance, trying not to focus on the leaking blood from my stomach and the bile rising in my throat.

It wasn't life threatening so why bother them.

Cassian lifted his hands from the map, nodding pleased.

My heart lept as his eyes met mine.

His brow furrowed in concern, just as Azriel's head also snapped up, their attention now on me.

Azriel's eyes widened.

Cassian crossed the room in two strides, meeting me.

"Feyre, what's wrong." His tone was strained.

Maybe I didn't look so normal.

I feigned confusion.

"Nothing, why?" I muttered, peeling my sweaty hands from the table.

"You're as white as a ghost." Cassian twitched his head, anxiously waiting for my answer.

Azriel walked over around the other side, his shadows twirling anxiously, a similar expression of warm concern on his face.

I panicked. This was embarrassing.

"Just tired."

My mouth twitched in a half smile, that they both saw right through, my heart pounding.

I noticed the exact moment their Illyrian instincts smelled my blood.

I watched as Azriel's face shifted into concern, his eyes piercing and unyielding, analysing me, as a similar fear struck expression spread across Cassian's.

"You're hurt." Azriel stepped towards me, eyes wide, his tone an unyielding truth.

He gripped my arm, turning me to face him so that he could read me better.

I sighed. Curse their bloodhound noses.

"No I'm not." A weak lie. He dropped my arm, his expression hardening at my challenge.

My brows furrowed in confusion as the sound of zip undoing was filling the quiet room. My gaze dropped down to see a shadow flitting away, my jacket now open, exposing my blood soaked shirt.

I shot a glare at Azriel, who wore a face of cold rage, his gaze on my wet shirt.

Cassian's jaw clenched.

Azriel swore.

"What happened?." He demanded, his eyes piercing my face.

"I had a fight with my own dagger." I looked down sheepishly.

Cassian sighed heavily, in relief and worry.

Azriel stiffened at my side.

"I'm fine it'll heal." I shrugged.

"That's not just a scratch. Let's patch you up." Cassian said seriously, his voice lighter but strained.

I inclined my head sarcastically.

"I'm sure you've had worse." I muttered.

Cassian rolled his eyes.

"Come on." He stepped forward, gesturing to the door, but I stepped back on instinct.

"No I'm all fine. It's nothing."

He frowned, crossing his arms.

Without warning, strong arms gripped under my back and legs as my feet disappeared from under me.

I gasped as Azriel's neutral expression peered down at me, his arms wrapped around me gently.

I opened my mouth to protest-

"This is why I said no swords." He reprimanded, his tone lighter.

I chuckled at his arrogance.

"Are u saying 'I told you so', Shadowsinger?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

He raised an eyebrow as he followed Cassian towards the door. I felt his arms holding me closer to his chest than normal, trying not to move me around too much.

"I'm fine, put me down I'll just-"

Azriel ignored me as we shot into the sky, following Cassian, to the infirmary near town.

I relaxed into his embrace.

Cassian surprisingly did not commence the range of taunts that I expected, instead he was quiet as the two cleansed my wound and bound it with a tight gauze and bandage.

"Mother hens." I muttered as I sat up slowly, pulling my shirt down over the neat dressing.

Cassian smiled, leaning against the doorframe.

My head spun at the position change. I placed my hands flat on the table, my legs dangling down from the bed. I blinked a few times.

"Slowly." Azriel said next to me.

I pushed off onto my feet and we headed to the door, Azriel flying us back to the house, Cassian close behind.

"How are you feeling now?" He queried quietly as we landed in the doorway.

"Fine." I smiled, although his eyes did not believe my answer.

He placed me down gently.

Cassian followed in as we approached the kitchen. He took a corner of the bench, chewing on an apple as he passed me a glass of water.

I took it gratefully, having a few sips. The cold water on my lips made my nausea spike and I placed it down on the bench.

Azriel leaned casually against the counter.

I thanked them for their help and went upstairs to change, feeling clean now that there was no more dried blood on me.

Walking down the stairs, I could hear soft voices talking in the fireplace area.

I stumbled once, catching myself, holding tight to the railing.

My ears rung and my head swam.

I still hadn't really eaten today.

I took a step and swayed on my feet. My hand shot to the railing again, pausing for a few seconds , willing my body to pull itself together.

My eyes shuttered, dizziness swimming.

A rough hand gripped my elbow.

"Come here."

Cassian scooped me up into his arms before I could process what was happening, my head swimming.

He gently placed me on the couch by the fire, wrapping a blanket over me.

"You will sit here and not move." He commanded.

Azriel appeared behind him, a sandwich in hand. He smiled as he placed it on the table next to me.

My heart warmed in their kindness.

"Thank you." I said, glancing to them both.

Cassian winked at me and Azriel smiled, the two taking a seat in the chairs across from me, wine in hand.

I finished my sandwich, shifting my position on the couch.

"If you get off that chair, I'll just bring you back." Cassian warned playfully, his eyebrow raised.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, leaning back into the soft couch.

"So Azriel, how long am I banned from swords now?" I questioned playfully.

He crossed a leg casually, smirking at me.

"Oh definitely for eternity." He said seriously.

Cassian laughed and I shot him a glare.