Hey everyone, here is yet another update. Again, I dont actually think this story has long left of it either, but there are still a few more chatpers to go, maybe around 5-6. :)
Enjoy! Let me know what you think. I apologise if updates are slow, but things are really busy atm but will udpate as quick as possible :)
Olivia got back to the precinct and went in to her office and closed the door. She wrote a few notes to the outstanding report about the Franklin case. She sighed, still feeling awful. Olivia had sat on the edge of her bed in the dimmed room and tried to talk to her. She rolled over to face the wall and cried silently, shrugging away Liv's touch. Elvira had told Olivia that she was incredibly jumpy and was easily startled.
There was no updates on the suspect, at least not yet… Sonny was to follow up on some leads later, but there was always another case and another victim to talk to.
"Fuck it," she muttered out loud. She unlocked her drawer and took out her stuff and opened her fridge to grab her leftovers from the amazing dinner Trevor made for her. She got up and left her office, closing the door behind her. "Fin?"
"Cap?," he smiled, "I didn't realise you were even in there."
"I'm stealth," she returned his smile. "Listen, Fin, I'm … having a bit of a bad day," she told him openly. "Last night was a really tough case for me, I'm thinking of heading home to take a PTO day."
"Say no more, Liv, I'll keep everyone in line," he replied.
She laughed, "Just… make sure everyone stays focused on the things they need to take care of, I need some more eyes on the Franklin case when there's a spare minute. We need to catch this son-of-a-bitch."
"I got you, I'll finish my reports here and I'll take a look at it and get Amanda to give me a brief."
"Thanks," she smiled. "Call me if anything comes in."
"Will do, but we're all good. You go home and take some time with your family."
It was weird for her to hear him refer to them as such, but it made her feel a little warm and fuzzy inside. "Thanks Fin. I'm gonna go home, get changed and pick my kids up from school and have a calm afternoon."
"Good, Liv, you deserve that."
She gave him a wave and headed out.
/
Olivia grinned to see Ava in her classroom looking down at her text book then back up at the screen, squinting a little. She looked like she was concentrating hard. She loved to see it. She began writing notes down on some looseleaf paper.
She knocked gently on the door of the classroom. The teacher looked up from her desk and so did all the students. Ava grinned at Liv and gave her a wave. Liv waved back. The teacher got up and met her at the door. "Hi," the teacher greeted her. "I'm guessing you're Ava's Mom?"
"I am… I actually came to pick Ava up, I know she has study hall in the afternoon after lunch, I don't mean to interrupt, but a few things popped up," she took her pocket book and showed the teacher her shield, "I've gotta take care of it with the kids for the afternoon."
"Of course," she smiled at Liv, "I've just got them doing busy work today, they were all a little crazy at the start of the class."
Olivia laughed, "Typical."
"Not Ava though," she spoke quietly and lowered her voice, "she's one of my favourites."
"Oh that's so nice to hear… thank you."
The teacher turned to Ava. "Ava, would you like to pack up your things?"
Ava looked confused, a look of concern spread over her face. "Everything is fine," the teacher told her reassuringly. She did as she was asked and met them at the door, waving goodbye to her desk mate.
"Hi sweetheart!" Olivia whispered, "I'm taking you and Noah home with me," she told her.
Ava looked worried. "Is Dad okay?,"
"Yeah, Dad's fine. Do you want to get any homework notes or anything before we go?"
"No, I have everything, I just have to get my bag from my locker." She turned to her teacher, "bye Mrs. Sutton, I'll finish reading the chapter and answering the questions tonight."
The teacher smiled, "you don't need to," she winked at her star pupil.
"Yes you do," Olivia replied dryly but gave the teacher a smile.
/
"Why are you taking us out of school?" Ava asked, a little worried that something was wrong.
"Because I want to spend an afternoon with my kids to do some fun things and spend time with you guys. Right now, I feel like I haven't spent enough time with neither you nor Noah, so I want us to have a nice, calm afternoon."
"Sounds good to me," Ava shrugged and smiled as they went upstairs to get Noah.
Noah was so excited to see both his Mom and Ava and met them with huge hugs. "Mom what are we gonna do at home!?"
"Well, we'll just go home and get changed and then we're gonna go hang out."
"Is everything okay, Mom?" Ava asked, wondering if Olivia was still affected by the case from the night before. "Like, are you okay?"
Olivia put an arm around Ava and planted a kiss upon the crown of her neatly braided blonde hair. "Yes, I'm okay, love. I just had a rough night as you know and what I really need is some quality time with my beautiful kids."
"Okay," Ava replied. "Well, what are we gonna do?"
"How about we get changed and then I take you guys to lunch and then we can go and play some crazy golf and then I think I have an idea of something you guys might find to be a little bit whacky, but I think that'll be a surprise."
"Oooooh Mommy I love mini golf!" Noah exclaimed.
"Me too!" Ava replied.
"Okay we better get home and get ourselves ready as quick as we can," she directed them.
The kids and Olivia all went their separate ways. She put her lunch in the refrigerator and went upstairs to change in to a pair of 3/4 length black gym tights and a plain white t-shirt. She tied her hair back and checked in on Noah to see if he needed any help to choose something to wear.
Once they were all ready, they headed off. "Okay, it's gonna be either Shake Shack, Five Guys or Taco Bell," she told the kids.
Noah and Ava looked at each other before smiling. They both knew what the other would want. "Shake Shack!" They both said at the same time.
Olivia laughed and took both of their hands on either side of her as they set off toward the local Shake Shack.
They chatted along the way about school and Noah was excited to go to his first swim lesson the next afternoon and Ava was ready to start training again. The school swimming day had given her the much needed motivation that she had been missing since changing schools.
"My two swimming stars, I can't wait to see you in your first meet," she replied to Ava who excitedly told them about the awards she was going to be getting. Olivia almost laughed, "it wasnt long ago that you told me you weren't interested in all those ribbons and trophies."
"Well, I'm not," Ava replied, "but it's just been some time, they're an added bonus," she replied to Liv. "Noah, when you begin swimming we can practice together at our new community pool. I'll bet Dad can help us train sometimes."
"Yes, but we're not going to get obsessive about it, are we?," Olivia asked.
"No, but if you want to succeed you have to put in the hard work and if Noah enjoys swimming and competing and practicing, then why can't we do that as a hobby at home instead of going out raging and doing other stuff?"
"True," Olivia nodded. She turned to Noah, "I think Ava is going to try to make you an Olympic gold medalist…"
Noah giggled. "I could sell that gold medal and get lots of money, right Ava?"
"Sure, if you want, its your gold medal! You can do what you want with it!"
"You guys are silly…" Liv told them both dropping their hands, as she opened the door to Shake Shack, letting them in first.
The kids made their order and Olivia ordered a burger and some fries for herself. She got the kids their favourite flavoured lemonades and they waited at the table while she waited for their food.
Olivia's phone rang as she glanced over at the kids, keeping an eye on them. She picked it up. "Hey baby, how are you?"
"Good… Liv, where are you right now?"
"I'm at Shake Shack, why?," she wondered.
"Are the kids with you? Did something happen at school?," he asked suspiciously.
"No, I just took off work and went and picked them up from school so we could spend some time together," she replied, "we're getting lunch and then I'm taking them to play mini golf."
"Liv…" he breathed, he tried to stifle his frustration. "Liv, you shouldn't have done that. They need to be at school."
"Actually today they need to be with their Mom," she replied back casually as if she didn't pick up on his annoyance. "And I made an executive decision."
Trevor sighed. "Olivia, what's going on?"
"Nothing?," she laughed, "what's going on with you?"
There was silence on his end and she realised that he was annoyed with her. "Are you going to talk or are you just calling so I can stand here and listen to you breathe?," she tried to joke.
"I guess we'll talk when I get home this afternoon," he replied, trying very hard not to lose his patience when he knew there was something going on.
"Okay, I'll send you some photos later of the kids and I. Love you."
"Love you too," he replied, hanging up.
/
Trevor sat at his desk for a few moments, a little stunned by the Olivia's obliviousness to his frustration. He stared at the phone for a few moments before he picked it back up again. He went through his contacts til he found Amanda's number.
He pressed call.
"Rollins?"
"Hi Amanda, it's Trevor Langan, do you have a moment?"
"Hey Trev, for you? Sure. Is everything alright?," she asked, a little curious as to why he would be calling her.
"I just got off the phone to Olivia and I'm just a little worried about her. Has she seemed okay to you? Have you seen her today?," he wondered curiously.
"Yeah… she really didn't want me to come with her to visit with last night's vic, I know it hit her pretty hard because of Ava… what's going on? I know she left work to go home."
"I'm not sure, there's just something off and she talked to me last night about the job, she was very upset and I couldn't get three words out of her this morning. She just took the kids out of school because she wanted to spend time with them and had no ability to figure out that I was annoyed with her for that…"
"Hmm… maybe … maybe the job scared her so much and she knows that her way of healing is by spending time with the kids and being close to them. I'm not sure, Trevor, all I can say is that sometimes some jobs really hit so hard and we end up drinking heavily or doing things erratically in order to feel better."
"… I'm starting to understand that."
"Try not to get too upset with her, Trevor, it was a really rough job."
"I know, I just… don't like the kids being dragged out of school for no reason."
Amanda smiled to herself, "if it helps, I'm sure the kids didn't put up too big of a fight."
"Well, that's part of the problem," he managed a laugh. "Thanks Amanda, if you notice anything going on with Liv, clue me in, okay?"
"Will do, I'll keep an extra eye on her and check in with her later, but I imagine she's way more forthcoming with you than us," she replied.
He said goodbye and tried to take on board Amanda's words. He knew he needed to exercise some patience and perhaps some compassion and go easy on her about taking the kids out of school, even if it did seem like a silly and frivolous thing to do.
/
"Wow, Noah, you're really good at this," Ava told him in monotone as she rolled her eyes, taking a seat on a rock by the 5th hole as Noah missed the putt for around the 6th time.
He narrowed his eyes at her, frowning. "Mommm," he whined, "Ava is being mean."
"Ava," Liv warned her, "be patient, maybe some encouragement might go a long way. Maybe even some pointers since you're an expert."
She sighed, "Sorry, just…" she stood up again and moved on to the course, "just don't hit it too hard, that's why you keep missing, you're aiming is okay, you're just putting too much power in to it. Try to hit it half as hard as you normally do. You can do it, Noah, the first hole you got in two turns, you're just psyching yourself out."
His face reddened and Olivia was worried that he might begin to cry and was about to intervene but Ava beat him to it. She made her way over and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been mean to you, forgive me, okay? That was really crappy of me." She ruffled his hair. "I love you, bug, you can do this, right Mom?"
Olivia beamed at them, "right, you can do this honey, come on…"
Ava stood beside him and waited for him to have his go. "Just remember, not too hard."
He swung his putting iron back and knocked it gently against the ball and watched the ball slowly roll toward the hole, teetering on the edge and finally pocketed inside. "Yes! You did it! Good job!" Ava held out her hand as Noah grinned happily, "give me five, well done!" Noah slapped her hand and gave his Mom a high-five too.
"But you're absolutely killing me in the score," he told Ava as they all moved to the 6th hole. Olivia felt grateful it was only a 12 hole course.
"Yeah, but don't worry bug, we don't have to keep score. We can just play today for fun," she told him.
Olivia let them walk ahead, watching Ava put an arm around Noah's shoulders. She pulled her phone out and took a photo of them with a smile on her face. She sent it to Trevor. "I love our kids. They are so sweet and kind and thoughtful with each other… I wish I could freeze them in time. I don't want them to grow up. I don't want them to have to learn about how awful the world really is."
Once at the next hole, Noah went first, with some careful and positive guidance from Olivia and Ava, he met par and hit the ball in the hole on the 4th shot. It was everything to Liv to see the joy that filled his sweet face when he realised he had done it. Something so small as achieving a target for a silly mini golf hole gave him such a sense of accomplishment. She basked in both kid's smiles.
"I love you guys…" she murmured under her breath as they both waited at the end of the 6th hole for her to have her own turn. She wasn't too bothered about playing herself, she probably would have preferred to just watch them, but she knew being involved in the game was as important to them too.
Finally, at the end of the 12th hole, they gave their putting irons and their balls back to the staff and used the bathroom. It was around 3:30, and Olivia decided she wanted to take them to one last stop just for an hour or so and maybe grab some ice cream on the way home.
"What is this place?" Noah asked as they went down a flight of stairs in to an underground space where all they could hear were carnival-like noises. "Oooooh video games!," he exclaimed.
Olivia smiled, "This is a retro gaming space. You guys can walk around and play all sorts of old fashioned arcade games. These are the kind of video games Dad and I grew up playing. We never had the kind of things that you guys have at home."
Noah turned and looked up at his Mom and gave her a funny expression. "Its so weird!"
"Oh, I know this, I've played pinball machines before… this is gonna be so much fun," Ava told Liv, putting an arm around her and curling in to her, appreciating their afternoon together with Noah. "Bug, you'll love these games, they're so easy."
"They're not that easy," Olivia told them as they waited to pay their entry. "We can also get some drinks and have a sit down if you guys are hot from being outside."
Olivia paid their way through. "You guys, keep closish okay? Tell me if you're going to be wandering off anywhere," she warned them.
"No, we'll stay with you Mom," Ava told her. "Let's find one of the games you used to like and Noah and I will have a go at it."
"Yeah!" Noah agreed excitedly. "I wanna see what games you used to like…"
She smiled and took them both by the hands as they pressed up against her. "What about this one? Frogger… You have to cross the road and not get splattered by the cars."
Noah laughed, "that's gross, how hard can it be?"
"I don't know, honey, why don't you give it a turn if you think it's so easy?" Olivia teased him.
Noah ran ahead and up to the machine and figured out quickly how to start the game. He began to play, taking his time as Olivia and Ava caught up. Liv stood behind him, smiling to see him attempting slowly to get his frog to the other side of the road. It started off easy, the traffic on the game slow.
"Oh Bug, you are not going to last long," she chuckled. "I bet Mom is an expert."
"I will too," he murmured, not paying full attention to her.
They played games for a little while, the kids finally relenting and admitting to Olivia that she was right, that the games were harder than their own. Trevor began texting after 5pm, asking where they were and what the plans for dinner were.
"Leftovers if you're hungry. Kids and I are about to get some ice cream. I can pick you up something if you like. See you soon, love you."
"Hey guys," she looked at the kids, "we have to finish up soon, Dad is home from work and we should go and spend some time with him."
They finished up with their ice cream and made their slow walk home. Olivia was feeling a lot better after spending her day with the kids. Trevor didn't reply to her text so she figured he was organising dinner and probably was having a shower and winding down from the day.
"We had a great time today, Mom," Ava told her, "thanks for coming to get us, it was such a nice surprise."
"You're welcome baby," Olivia replied, kissing her onto of her head. She turned to Noah, "I needed some special time with my kiddos… it's been a rough week and this is what I needed the most, to spend time with you both and have some fun."
"I love you, Mommy," Noah told her, not to be outdone.
"I love you both too, very, very much," she replied.
/
"Okay," Trevor began after the kids greeted him, "I want you both to go upstairs, Bug, you use Mom and my bathroom, Ava, you use the other one, I want you both to have a wash and then get in to your pyjamas and get your homework and bring it downstairs and you can look at any work that you might have missed out on today."
Ava rose her eyebrow, "why am I being punished?"
Trevor gave her a blank stare, "you're not being punished, I know you'll have homework and you need to do it. Just because you had a fun day, doesn't exempt you from your school responsibilities," he told her irritably.
"Okay, sheesh, keep your hair on…" she muttered. Trevor gave her a warning look which made her realise she may have pushed it a step too far. "Come on Noah," she added.
Olivia was fuming at the tone he had taken with the excited kids who just really wanted to tell him about their afternoon. "You're mad at me, not at the kids," she told him point blank, "they were excited and wanted to tell you about their day, don't you dare treat them any kind of way just because you're mad at me."
"I'm not mad," he replied.
"Like hell you're not. You've barely spoken a word to me since I walked in the door, you were short and mean to the kids and you're acting like they never work hard or deserve a fucking treat once in awhile."
"We could have treated them on the weekend when they don't go to school."
"I'm rostered on for the weekend," she replied bluntly. "So between trying to hear endless stories of rape and murder, I have to figure out how to fucking sleep and unfortunately that leaves no room to spend time with my kids who are growing up before my eyes. You're so perfect, Trevor, you have absolutely zero wiggle room for anything but the rules and unfortunately things just aren't that black and white in life. I needed my kids today, I needed you too, but I guess at least I could rely on the kids to stop me from feeling numb and empty."
Trevor went to say something but she followed Ava and Noah's path upstairs.
"Fuck," he cursed.
/
"Mom, can I have a bath?" Ava asked quietly, knowing .
"Sure babe," Liv smiled, "do you want to use our bathroom instead? Noah can use the other one."
"Thanks," she replied. "Mom, I know Dad's upset with you for taking us out of school, but I had the best day and I don't even care if I have to make up work for it."
"Your teacher said it was okay," Liv replied, "and don't worry about Dad. Maybe it wasn't my best move, taking you guys from school, but I'm working over the weekend and I don't know when it's going to be that we'll all get to do something fun."
"When we go on holidays," Ava shrugged. "You had a bad night last night so I get why you wanted to spend time with us and we love you so much that we wanted to spend time with you too."
"Thanks sweetie," Liv replied. "You get ready for your bath. I'll go make sure Noah gets all his stuff together and I'll start running the tap for you."
"Thanks," Ava circled her bed and opened her arms up and hugged Liv tightly. "You're the best Mom, thank you for being a good Mom to me and for being such a good support to all of us that love you…"
Liv felt herself growing a little misty-eyed. She pulled away and smiled at Ava, kissing her forehead. "Love you…"
"You know, Dad once said that it's easy to be kind to the people you like, but a mark of a good person is someone who is kind to everyone, even those who aren't always kind in return… and that pretty much describes you…"
"Oh honey, thank you. I love you very much, you and Noah, you are both such kind hearts and I know that you're always going to extend that to everyone you come in to contact with." Olivia hugged her again. When she turned around, she saw Trevor in the doorway, waiting for her.
She avoided his eyes. "Let me go see Noah and I'll sort out the bathroom for you, babe."
"Thanks…" Ava replied.
"Liv, can we talk for a minute please?" Trevor asked.
"We can talk once I finish organising the kids," she replied, emotionless as she threaded past him and down the hall to Noah's room. He looked at Ava who also avoided his eyes.
"Why are you mad at me?" Trevor asked her.
"I'm not mad at you. You're mad at Mom and you shouldn't be," she replied. "Mom is sad and dealing with something and you're being mean."
He took a deep breath and shook his head and made his way back downstairs.
/
Olivia descended the stairs and silently made her way to the fridge and pulled out the wine that she'd had the night before. She grabbed a wine glass and poured herself a very generous glass. "Ok, you want to have a fight, let's have a fight," she told him, guzzling it all down in one whole go.
Trevor watched her for a second, knowing she was in pain. "I don't want to fight with you."
"Then drop the fucking attitude with me," she snapped. "I can't deal with it. It's not like I don't have enough other shit going on in my brain," she told him, "I can't do this, I can't handle you being mad at me for spending one afternoon with the kids out of the other 300 or so days of the year that they're in school… Both of their teacher's said they were fine, they didn't need to make anything up, they didn't have any homework, they didn't have to make up any work, so what's the fucking problem?"
"You didn't even consult me, you didn't call me, you didn't involve me in your plans — you just went ahead and made this decision without me and to be honest, maybe I would have liked to spend the afternoon with you guys too."
Olivia rolled her eyes. "You get the best of these kids, Trevor. You get to see them every day, you get to have them at meal times, you get to have the after school conversations, the pick-ups, the tuck-ins, the hugs and kisses and the home work stuff… and I just get the scraps. I don't blame you for that, that's what I've chosen for my life, but it's not to say that sometimes it's not really fucking hard. I just wanted a window of time with them to enjoy some unfiltered joy… especially after that fucked up job last night."
She poured another glass. "I don't want to fight with you…" she lowered her voice. "I don't want to even talk about this anymore…"
"Liv…" he sighed gently, "come here…" he made his way over to her but she shrugged his touch away.
"Don't," she replied, taking the second generous glass of wine with her as she went back upstairs.
/
"Mom?" Ava called out.
"Yeah?" Liv called, putting her glass down on her bedside table as she got changed in to her own pyjamas.
"Wanna come in and chat to me?"
Olivia couldn't help but to smile. "Sure," she called back. She picked up her wine glass and knocked gently on the door as she let herself in. She pulled the toilet seat down and sat on top of it, resting her legs on the edge of the bath, reclined back as she held her wine glass.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Ava began.
"Of course," she smiled, "I love a secret."
"Okay, but don't tell Dad… I have a big fat crush on Luna…"
Olivia laughed, "I knew that babe. I could see it a mile away. I think she has a big fat crush on you too."
"Oh, she does. She told me last night by text… but I talked to Rafa about it the other night and he thinks that it's probably better to leave it alone because we're so young and probably won't ever become anything long-term. And, I love her like my bestfriend and if we had a fall out I'd feel so sad."
"Hmmm," Liv sipped her wine. "Rafael has a point…but the heart wants what it wants," she replied. "It's a hard one."
"What would you do?," Ava asked curiously.
"Well…. I guess I'm the wrong person to ask. I was in love with my best friend for 12 years and never ever made a move because I was frightened of rejection so…"
"Oh wow…but then you and Dad were friends for awhile first…"
"Yeah, that's true." Liv nodded, "but we knew each other for over 20 years before it got to romance."
"I bet you're wondering why you bothered tonight, he's being so mean."
"No, he's not being mean," Olivia defended him, "we're just figuring something out, but even if I'm mad or even if he's mad, we still love one another."
Ava said nothing but splashed the bubbles around in the water. "I told Luna the other day that sometimes I make you hang out with me when I'm in the bath and she said it was weird, that there's no way she'd ever ask that of her Mom and she didn't want her Mom to see her naked."
Olivia gave a laugh. "It's not weird for me if it's not weird for you, honey. I happen to love our bathroom chats and I'm not sitting here and you're my kid, if it were anyone else I'd say keep yourself covered up at all times," she laughed in spite of herself.
"Yeah but it's nothing you've never seen…" Ava replied, "I dunno, I just don't care. Even though Sarah and I weren't close, I didn't really care about her coming in to the bathroom or if I was getting changed or whatever either."
"Some people are just more comfortable with their bodies than others," Olivia replied, "and I am so happy that you seem comfortable with yourself. That's half of my job done."
Ava smiled as she watched Olivia sip her wine. "I hope Dad and you don't have too big of a fight."
"We won't," Olivia replied. "We both said what we needed to say, we now just need some time to let our annoyances pass," she added. "One thing I'll tell you, Ava, you should never fight someone cruelly. You should never say things that you can't take back."
"I know…" Ava replied. "I don't like to fight with anyone I care about. I usually say sorry first even if I think I've done nothing wrong," she smirked, "I'm a push over."
"Don't be that either. You should't apologise for someone else's behaviour. That's a skill that takes maturity though, so… its okay."
"I know… I just really don't like conflict. I find it kind of scary after everything," she replied.
"It's okay sweetie, it comes sometimes with age but you don't have to worry about Dad and I, we're okay and speaking of," she looked at her watch, "you might need to finish up, I'm gonna go check on Noah and get changed too."
"Okay," Ava replied, "I won't be long."
/
"Come on Bug, it's getting a little late in the evening for video games, I think it's time you turned it off," Trevor told Noah who was sitting wide-eyed playing a game on the Nintendo for the past hour or so while he had been in his office working on his case.
Olivia and Ava were in the kitchen organising a shopping list. Ava had insisted that she wanted to spend some time with Liv baking a few things for them to eat during the week for dinners. Two or three casseroles and a sweet dish too.
"Dad, can I just play for fifteen more minutes, please?"
"Ten," Trevor countered, "and then you can find another activity to do for about 30 minutes before bed time."
Noah sighed but didn't argue. Trevor closed the door on his office and walked past Noah and in to open kitchen and dining area to find the girls. "Noah's been playing that video game for over an hour and a half," he announced.
"Yep," Olivia replied. "And it's friday night, so it's not hurting anyone."
Trevor bit his tongue. "I told him he could have ten more minutes and then he has to choose something else to do before bed," he informed her.
"Okay."
"Are we finished with the shopping list?" Ava asked Olivia.
Olivia smiled at her, "Sure babe, I'll try my absolute best to get up early on Sunday to do this with you."
Ava made her hasty exit from the kitchen, not wanting to be around for a fight, sensing the tension in the air between her Dad and Mom.
Once she was in the living room and out of earshot Trevor made his way in to the kitchen. "So, are you ready to talk to me or are you going to get mad at me again?," Trevor asked her quietly.
Olivia just laughed with frustration and shook her head. "Trevor… you were the one who got mad at me, don't gaslight me, I'm not in the mood for it. I had a really nice day and had my cup refilled with the love of my children and it was exactly what I needed and I don't feel bad about that. You're the one with the problem with it all. You've avoided me since I walked in the door."
"I feel frustrated that you didn't even consult me before taking them out of their classes, you just-"
"I shouldn't have to consult you!," she snapped. "You're not the boss of me and what I fucking do, Trevor. I would never have questioned you if you decided to do what I did. I would just be happy to know you and the kids had quality time together and that whatever was bothering you was helped by that time together. I'd certainly not be fucking angry with you for it."
Trevor seemed to retreat. She had a point. "Okay," he said a little quieter. He sighed and avoided her eyes, "maybe I was being unfair."
Olivia scoffed in response and shook her head. She made her way to the overhead cabinet and reached for the bottle of gin and grabbed a glass from another cupboard. She poured herself a generous serve and went to the fridge to grab the tonic water.
Trevor watched her bring the drink to her mouth and let it slide down her throat. She took another gulp and another and another until the glass was empty.
"Eaasyyy," Trevor remarked, "Shit…" he almost recoiled when she glared at him warningly, as if daring him to say another word. He had his hands up as if in resignation. She grabbed the gin and poured again and filled the tonic. She slugged half of it down before she'd had enough.
"I'm not doing this tonight," she told him with an air of finality. "If you want Noah to stop playing the Nintendo, that's fine, but maybe rather than taking him away from something that he gets some enjoyment with, you might like to actually spend some time with one or both of the children rather than ordering them around and getting mad with them for a choice I made."
Just as he was about to say something, her phone began to buzz on the countertop. They both stared at it for a moment. It was a number that wasn't saved. She picked up the phone and held it for a moment.
"You don't have to answer that, you're off the clock," Trevor reminded her gently.
As if in spite, she hit answer and briefly glanced at him as she held it against her ear. "Captain Benson," she spoke with her more professional voice.
She was silent for a moment before Trevor noticed her face change from angry to softness but with all the tension he'd seen from the night before. "Yes of course it's okay that you're calling sweetheart, I told you that you can call me anytime day or night," she replied "what's happening?"
She leaned over the kitchen counter glumly. He watched the woman that he loved listen, forgetting that he was standing there with her, trying to figure out the situation between one another. She had an endless well of compassion for others, putting aside her own feelings of sadness for what had happened to the victim the night before. "Oh, Cara, it's okay if you're scared. You had an awful thing happen last night and we are working so hard at making sure we are doing everything to try to get the man that did this to you," she assured her, "and the second that we do, we will let you and your Mom know, but until then, is Mom and Dad home with you now?"
Trevor felt bad as he watched Olivia cover her forehead with her hand, leaning her elbows on to the countertop. She looked exhausted. "Yeah? Okay, I want you to do something for me, okay? Can you do something for me?"
Silence.
"Sweetheart, I want you to go downstairs to your Mom and tell her that you're feeling scared. I want you to be honest with her, you tell her that you're scared and you want her to come and lay beside you or watch TV with you— whatever it is that you're doing to try to keep your mind at rest, you ask your Mom to do that with you. She wants to be there for you, but she might not know how. So it's going to be best to tell her. She will be so happy to do that for you, love, okay?"
The girl must have agreed. Olivia smiled and finally straightened back up and sipped her gin and tonic, not bearing Trevor a glance. "Okay sweetie, do you want me to stay on the phone while you do that? I can if you like."
There was some silence before she nodded as if the girl could see her. "Okay sweetheart. I want you to call me tomorrow when you get up or you can text if it's easier. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. And honey, if you ever call and I don't pick up, it's just because I don't have my phone with me, but I will always call or text back, okay?"
Silence.
"Alright honey, you try to rest with Mom. I'll check in with you tomorrow."
Trevor watched Olivia hang up. She heaved a sigh. She finally glanced at him. "Right, so… I'm going to go upstairs and watch a movie with Ava like I promised her. Should I go and get Noah off the Nintendo and have him join me and Ava while you … do whatever it is you're doing?"
"I'll take care of Noah but Olivia, I think we should talk."
She took the rest of her drink and emptied it. She put the glass in the dishwasher and passed him. "We have nothing to talk about." He heard her call for Ava who got up off the couch and watched them pass him again as they headed upstairs to her bedroom to get in to bed and watch a movie that Ava had asked if she could download.
"You and Dad are still fighting, huh?" Ava asked softly as they got comfortable and cued up the girly movie.
"We're not fighting, honey," Olivia replied. "I don't need you to worry about anything. We are fine. We are both tired and both frustrated but we are not fighting. We'll get over it soon enough. Stop worrying so much. Tomorrow is another day." She kissed Ava's temple.
"Okay," she replied and snuggled in to Liv. Olivia couldn't help but to smile, wrapping an arm around her.
Trevor passed and couldn't help but to smile, noticing both his daughter and Olivia snuggled up beneath the covers of her bed despite the air conditioner being on. The overhead bedroom light was still up and he could tell it was bothering Olivia from the way she was squinting. "You both look comfortable," he remarked. "Do you want the light off?"
"Yes please, Dad," Ava replied, glancing over at her father.
"Liv would you like your glasses?" Trevor asked politely.
She glanced at him and gave him a small smile. It wasn't a lot but it was something. "Sure, thanks. Where is Noah?"
"He's going to get some colouring books and we're going to colour some Avengers together downstairs," he told them, "I'm just getting changed to wind down a little."
"Okay," Liv replied. "Can you send him in to say goodnight in case I fall asleep?"
"You're sleeping here?," he wondered, figuring she must have been very upset with him. "Ava kicks and punches in her sleep…" he joked lightly.
Ava rolled her eyes, "one time I punched you in the spine when I was like 5… and you never forget."
Olivia managed a laugh. "I'm not planning on it, but I might fall asleep, we'll see," she replied.
He decided not to make a big deal of it. "Okay, well I'll send him up." He took a few steps in to Ava's room and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart, I'm glad you had a fun afternoon."
"Thanks Dad," she replied.
He circled the bed and took a risk on saying goodnight to Olivia, hoping she wouldn't recoil from his touch or his kisses. He leaned over and kissed Olivia's forehead too. "I love you, try to come to bed when you're tired." She didn't flinch and he was glad. He reached over and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers.
"Love you too," she replied. She felt a little softer for him, realising that he'd dropped all of his frustration with her even if she felt like it wasn't valid to begin with. She also wanted Ava to realise that she and Trevor would be fine.
"Enjoy your movie, beauties." he replied. "I'll grab your glasses, Liv…"
"Thank you," she gave him a weak smile as he left.
/
Olivia woke up around two in the morning with Ava snoring softly beside her. She had a sore arm from where Ava had been pressed against her. Her glasses her still on her face. She slowly slid out from beneath the covers and picked up her bottle of water from the bed side and made her way down the hall to Trevor's room. She yawned, noticing light coming from beneath the bedroom door. She pushed it open and found Trevor sitting up, reading notes on his iPad.
He looked up, "Hey sweetie," he greeted her gently, sounding a little weary.
"Hey…" she replied, "why are you still awake?"
He shrugged, his eyes following her to the bathroom where she switched on the light and left the door ajar. "Couldn't sleep, I guess."
She went was silent for a few moments while she relieved her bladder. He heard the toilet flush and then the sound of the faucet running. She reemerged shortly after and pulled the door closed. She got in to her side of the bed and snuggled down beneath the blankets. "Are you still mad at me?"
"No…" he replied softly, "I'm sorry I was an asshole earlier. I had a shitty day and honestly was probably feeling a little left out. But— I guess I didn't fully understand what was going on with you and maybe I still don't entirely know, but… you were right, I know you'd never question me if I did what you did, you'd just be comforted to know that the kids were making me feel better."
"Yeah…and they did. It's just like therapy," she remarked, feeling sleepy.
"I think I feel a little shut-out and I know it's not about me and you'll talk when you're ready to, but I just don't want you to start building up walls, that's what I'm most afraid of."
Olivia sighed and avoided his eyes. "Its just complicated feelings that I'm struggling to allow myself to feel let alone explain to someone else. Maybe the job made me feel depressed, I don't know… I'll try to talk about it with you tomorrow."
"Okay," he accepted her response and didn't really want to push her. He leaned over and kissed her lips warmly. "Do you want me to turn the light out so you can sleep?"
"No, you can leave it on," she answered. "Is it okay if I turn the TV on? I'll probably be asleep in five minutes and you can turn it back off."
"Of course," he leaned over to his bed side and handed her the remote. "What time do you start tomorrow?"
"Afternoon shift. 12 til 10," she answered glumly. "There was nothing she wanted to do less than face another day at work looking for some sub-human who had done the unspeakable to the young girl the day before."
"Alright. I'll make sure you have a good breakfast and something good for lunch."
"Thanks baby," she replied, finding something to press play on. "I'm gonna say goodnight now."
"Sure, goodnight. Sweet dreams, I love you."
"I love you too," Olivia replied.
/
Olivia woke to Trevor gently shaking her. "Honey…" he spoke softly, "wake up, baby,"
She stirred and rolled over on to her stomach, burying her face in to the pillow grumbling at him. "I don't want to."
"Honey, you're going to be late for work," he warned her gently, taking a seat on the mattress. He stroked her back gently. "C'mon, I know you're tired…"
She sighed. "I don't want to…"
He felt for her. She pulled the covers up close beneath her chin. "I'm not going to work," she mumbled.
"Olivia," he wriggled down beside her. "You're rostered to start at midday, it's nearly 10. The kids made you breakfast."
She sighed with frustration and flipped back over on to her side, her back facing him. "I'm not going to work," she snapped.
"Okay," he left it alone, "well, you should probably let them know."
"Can you?," she asked, "I don't want to explain myself to anyone. I just don't want to be there."
He felt instantly concerned. "Yeah…" he let his voice trail off. "I'll speak to Amanda…"
"Thanks," she sniffed and he knew that she was already crying. "Liv, is it okay if the kids bring you breakfast up here?"
"Yeah," she replied in a whisper. "Yeah, give me ten minutes."
"Okay." He leaned over her and kissed her cheek. "I love you. I don't know what you're going through sweet heart, but I'm here and if you need the time, you need the time. I'll go speak to Amanda."
"Thanks," she replied, sniffing and wiping her eyes.
/
"Do you think Mom will like these pancakes?" Noah asked Ava.
"Yeah, good job, Bug, the banana slices are perfect. Just decorate them on top of the pancakes and I'll put a scoop of ice cream and add the strawberries and then drizzle some maple syrup."
Trevor passed them and gave them both a smile. "Change of plans, kiddos, give Mom a few minutes and then maybe you can put those yummy pancakes on a tray and take Mom up a glass of juice too. I think she will be eating in bed."
"Is she okay?" Ava asked immediately.
"I think she's feeling a bit off today, but just give her five or so minutes. I'm just going in to my office to make a phone call."
Trevor went in to his office and picked up the phone and dialled Amanda. A few moments a later, she picked up. "Hey Trev?"
"Hi Amanda…" his voice trailed, "sorry to call you again and harass you. I've just tried to get Liv up for work and I actually don't think she's in a very good place. She refuses to get up, refuses to come to work and she asked me to call you guys and let you know she's not coming in."
"Oh shit…" Amanda murmured. "Okay…" her voice trailed, "So I'm worried now too," she said finally. "That doesn't sound like Olivia."
"I know," he agreed, "she won't talk to me. She hung out with Ava last night watching movies til late and then crawled in to bed in the middle of the night and refused to talk… I don't know, if you could try to chat with her… I just kind of feel like she's shutting me out but I know she's trying to protect me."
"Trevor, if I can give you any advice is that you need to not take this personal. It's really hard to be in that headspace as it is and when the people we love start blaming themselves for it, it just lays the guilt on thicker, so by all means, don't stop trying and telling her you love her and offering to be there, but don't second guess the trust she has in you or — don't lose your temper with her for not sharing. She will, you just need to give her time."
"Thanks Amanda," he said seriously, "I mean that, I really needed to hear someone say that. Thanks."
"You're welcome Trevor. I might have a word to the Chief about Liv, just give him the heads up that things have been a bit rough with a job and she's struggling a little. But… I'll talk to her later and see where she's at. Maybe she needs to take some PTO."
"Maybe," Trevor agreed. "Thank you Amanda, I appreciate it."
"You're welcome. Tell her that we've got her back and we'll lock it down for her and keep her posted if there's anything that she needs to know or hear about. Give her a big hug from me."
He hung up the phone and went back out to the kitchen to see that the kids had already taken Liv's breakfast upstairs. He followed their path and went up just to make sure that everything was okay.
/
"Mommy they're chocolate chip pancakes, I made them with Ava," Noah told her excitedly as she slowly eased up in to sitting position. She grinned at both kids. "Anddddd ice cream and it was Ava's idea to put the maple syrup because we know you love it."
"Thank you guys so much, this looks so good…"
"Sorry Mom, Bug's really excited, Dad said we should wait a few minutes," Ava told her.
"No, no, it's fine," Olivia replied reaching for her glasses on the bedside table. "This is wonderful, you're both such sweethearts." She took the tray and stared for a moment at her breakfast and took a deep breath before letting it out slow so that she wouldn't become emotional. "Thank you," she repeated a little more quietly.
Ava picked up on something but Noah was maybe a bit too little to figure out that she was emotional. "We should leave Mom to eat her breakfast in peace, bug," she told Noah.
"Oh that's okay, guys, you can sit here with me," she replied.
"No, no," Ava insisted, glancing up to notice Trevor smiling at them. "You should turn on the TV and enjoy watching your favourite show while you eat and Noah and I will go downstairs and have our own pancakes."
"Oh yeah we have to eat too, let's do that."
Noah climbed off the bed and ran around to give his Mom a careful hug and Ava did the same. "Enjoy breakfast Mama,"
"I will, thanks my loves…" The kids threaded past Trevor and Olivia picked up the remote, turning the TV on as she noticed Trevor.
"Hey sweetie, I won't bother you, I just wanted you to know that I spoke with Amanda and told her that you're not feeling very well so you won't be in today. She told me to let you know that they've got your back and she will call if she needs anything urgently, but otherwise, just rest."
"Thanks Trev…" she looked down at her pancakes guiltily. "I'm sorry I'm being…" she paused, looking for the right word, "I'm sorry for being a bad partner…"
"No," he shook his head, "No Liv, you're not… you're not a bad partner. I was being a dick yesterday and I guess I didn't realise exactly why you took the kids out of school, but I understand now and I know that job really hit a little too close to home and it's really sticking to your bones right now, I just need to know how best to take care of you…" his voice trailed off. "Because that's all I want to do right now, I want to be able to take care of you."
He sat beside her on the bed for a second.
She wiped her eyes that had began to water instantly. "I don't know…" she murmured. "Just…" she paused again to sniff and compose herself, "please just don't get upset or frustrated with me."
"Okay," he replied simply. "But is there something that I can physically do to make you feel better? Do you want me to cuddle you or lay in bed with you? Do you want me to give you space or keep the kids away or think up something for all of us to do today?"
"Doesn't Ava and Noah have dance this morning?"
"Yeah… but if you feel up to it, you could come? If not, you could just catch up on some sleep."
She thought about it for a few moments and then nodded. "I don't want to be alone, I want to be near you and near the kids."
"Okay," he replied simply. "Well, I need to have the kids ready by 10:30 and out the door by 10:40."
"I'll be ready at 10:30 she promised even though it was already 10." He leaned over and kissed her temple.
"I love you," she told him.
"I love you too," he replied.
/
Trevor went back upstairs to check on how far away Liv was right on 10:30. She was in the bathroom. "Honey? Are you almost ready?," he called.
He heard her strained voice. "Um… maybe go without me," she called back. He understood the tone, she was trying to sound as though her voice wasn't strangled by emotion.
"I'm coming in," he announced. He pushed open the door before she could argue. "Sweetie?"
Her face was red and her eyes were puffy. She had clearly been crying and for some time too. "Oh, Liv… are you okay?"
She nodded but the expression on her face betrayed her. He felt his throat constricting slightly with emotion as he watched her face crumple in to fresh sobs. "Come here…" he held his arms out, gathering her up. "Sweetheart, its okay, I've got you…" he murmured, holding her firm against him.
"I'm sorry," she managed to sputter as he felt her shaking with sobs against him.
"Don't apologise, love," he stroked her hair. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You're going to be okay but if it's going to take time to heal from the job, then you need to take that time and we are going to be here for you for whatever you need, okay?"
"Okay," she whispered, trying to calm down.
He pulled away slightly and took her face in his hands, guiding it upward so he could look in to her glassy, red eyes. "I love you very much," he spoke softly, kissing her lips gently, "I'm here, okay? The kids are here. We've got you."
"Thank you," she murmured in a tiny voice. "I'm sorry, I don't want to make the kids late, you should go."
"Are you sure you don't want to come? Maybe it will help to get out of the house."
"Look at me, I look awful."
"No you don't," he gave her a smile. "You look beautiful. You're already dressed, just hold a cloth over your face and I'll go grab you a bottle of water and get your purse."
"Okay," she agreed. "Okay, thanks…"
He kissed her again. "Take your time, if the kids are a few minutes late, it's not the end of the world."
He left her to it again and went back downstairs.
/
"Guys, Mom is feeling very sensitive today, but don't make a big deal out of it, just make sure you give her plenty of love and cuddles today," Trevor told them. "Maybe we can do something special for her after dance…"
"Oh, Mom's coming to dance?" Noah asked, "doesn't she have to go to work?"
"She's not going to work today," Trevor replied, "so yeah, she's going to hang out with us."
"I love that," Ava smiled, "well, I won't go to Luna's today, I'll stay home and hang out. I'll text her and tell her something came up."
"Sweetheart, you should still go to Luna's apartment. She's probably looking forward to hanging out."
"No, Mom needs us, you said." Ava shook her head, her mind made up, "I would feel sad if I couldn't be here."
"Okay, well suit yourself," Trevor replied as he heard Olivia padding down the stairs. She wore summery dress and tied her hair back in a knot at the back of her head, keeping it off her face. It was supposed to be a very warm day, the onset of summer and only a short two weeks away from their trip to Europe.
"Ready, Mom?," he asked.
"Yeah…" she gave him a weak smile. Trevor handed her her black cross-body bag. She put it over her head and took the bottle of water from him and put it inside the bag as they made their way from the apartment. Olivia put her sunglasses on so that no one would be able to see that she had recently been crying. Trevor took her hand as Noah ran a few steps ahead, anxious to get to practice. Ava stayed by Liv's side, holding her free hand, not wanting to feel sad.
"Mom, after practice we could do something fun- all of us…"
"Yeah," she flashed Ava a smile, "that sounds good, honey, I'm looking forward to some time with you all."
"Mommy, you could have a nap this afternoon if you wanted to and we'll all be so quiet and not wake you up," Noah pitched in.
Olivia tried hard not to tear up all over again. "That's okay babe, I don't mind hearing you guys live your lives around the house, it makes me feel good to know that everyone that I love and cherish is having a good time."
Trevor gave her hand a squeeze as he reached for the door of the dance studio, holding it open for the kids and motioning for Olivia to go in before him. They headed upstairs to the 5th level. "Okay, off you go, Noah," Trevor smiled, "give it your best, you know the drill."
He nodded and smiled and turned to Olivia. "Are you gonna watch, Mommy?," he asked gently, referring to the waiting area that adjoined.
"Yeah, I'll watch you for a little bit and then I'll watch Ava too, I wanna see both my beautiful dancers."
He gave her a hug and a little wave and headed in to his class. Ava hugged Trevor and then Olivia. "See you guys after, love you."
"Love you too," they both repeated and watched her head down the hall, independently and happily. Ava was very confident when it came to dancing, it was yet another thing that she knew she could do gracefully and could do well. She wasn't as competitive as she felt over swimming, but the enjoyment she got out of it was a different kind of achievement.
"We've got the best kids," Olivia murmured, "really, they're just so special."
"They are," he agreed as they headed in to the next room with the big glass windows so they could watch Noah's class dance.
"Hi Trevor," some of the mother's greeted him. Olivia only recognised one woman. She gave her a polite smile as they took a seat. She felt like a stranger, like she was being invited to observe her child and even worse; it made her feel like an absent mother.
"Oh, you must be Trevor's new girlfriend, little Noah is so wonderful, you'll just love getting to know him," one of the women gushed.
Olivia felt revolted, sick to her stomach at the idea that someone could not know that she was his mother. "Oh-I-' she stammered, she glanced at Trevor and he definitely didn't miss the look of absolute heartbreak crossing her face. "Excuse me," she got up and left Trevor to it, making her way out of the room, letting the door fall closed behind her. She made a weak jog to the bathroom and found an empty stall before she began to cry all over again.
She texted Trevor and told him she was headed to watch Ava. He messaged her right back telling her that he was waiting outside the bathroom. She waited a few moments to calm down before wiping her eyes and heading out. She was so overemotional that everything was making her lose her composure.
He held his arms out to hug her but she held up her hand and shook her head. "No," she sniffed, "I don't want to cry… Please…"
"Okay," he murmured, "I love you. Just… let's get through this, k?"
She nodded. He was growing more and more concerned as time passed. He wanted to address what had happened but chose to leave it, he knew she was embarrassed and sad over what the mother had said and maybe it really was better to just address it privately.
They moved down the hall to Ava's class and there weren't any other parents in the room so Olivia felt herself slowly relaxing as she was able to watch their daughter doing stretches and moving her limbs in a way she knew she would never be able to.
She finally found herself smiling as the small group of girls practiced. She leaned her head on Trevor's shoulder and felt his arm circling her waist. "She's so graceful…" Olivia murmured. "Why do I let myself miss so much of the kids special talents? I am such an awful Mom…"
"Don't you dare…" Trevor replied, "I never, ever want to hear you say that ever again, I'm damn serious," he told her sternly. "You are an incredibly wonderful mother and I'm offended that you even let that pass your mind."
Olivia said nothing else.
They watched Ava for a short while longer before Trevor convinced Olivia to go back to Noah's class and to completely ignore the other mothers who he assured her were usually just full of nanny's if they were even there at all.
The woman from earlier had the good sense not to speak to Olivia at all. They sat down quietly and Trevor made sure that he held on to her tightly as she found a little spark of joy in watching Noah practice a little dance routine with the kids in his class. He may not have been the absolute best, but he was certainly one of the better dancers, that was for sure.
She was so proud of him, she knew that Ava and he liked to dance together at home and practice things— that she pushed him to be a much better dancer and she could see how far he'd come in just a few short months.
He spotted them watching and smiled at her. She smiled right back at him. "I need to come more," she whispered to Trevor, "I'm missing so much…"
"Its okay, Liv," he told her, "you do what you can when you can, its alright."
She didn't say it, but she felt like what she could certainly wasn't enough.
After practice, they picked up some salads and meats from the their local deli with a few baguettes and went home to make a nice lunch that they could all eat together.
/
"Mom," Noah asked softly after he got changed from his dance clothes. He met her in the kitchen and stood by the counter as she cut the baguettes in to smaller, more manageable sizes, filling them all with different variations of salads and meats.
"Yes, my love?"
"I know that you're sad today," he told her astutely, "I hate it when you're sad, but I just wanted to tell you that I love you and you're the best Mommy ever. I love it when you're home because I love to see you and have fun with you."
Olivia tried hard to hold her emotions back. She set down her cerated bread knife gently and wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and turned to her son. "Oh, Noah, I love you so much, thank you for saying that, if I'm a good Mommy it's because I have the best kids and I can't tell you how much I love spending time with you and Ava too. Spending time with you and Ava and Daddy, it's my absolute favourite thing to do and even though I've felt a little bit sad, I feel very happy that we're all able to spend some time together today."
Noah smiled. She held her arms out and gave him a warm hug. "Do you want to sit up here on the counter and chat to me while I finish making lunch?"
"Uhuh!" He nodded with a big grin. Olivia scooped him up and placed him to the side a little. "HOw's that?"
"Good…" he giggled. "I can't wait to eat, those sandwiches look so yummy."
"They do, don't they?," she replied. She leaned over and kissed her smallest child's forehead. "I'm hungry too. And I was thinking, maybe after lunch we could pull the cushions out in the living room and watch a nice movie, all four of us, how does that sound?"
"Yeah! I like that. And then you could have a nap if you need to and I get to cuddle up to my Mom."
Olivia gave a laugh. "I'm excited for cuddles."
"Who's getting cuddles?" Trevor asked descending the stairs, "hopefully me!"
"No, me," Olivia shot back with a laugh, "Noah promised to give me lots of cuddles. I suggested that after lunch we could maybe pull out the sofa cushions and watch some movies and have some family time."
"That sounds good, I love that idea," Trevor replied. He knew that both Ava and Olivia would probably end up asleep and he and Noah might slip out and buy some things to cheer Olivia up. He wanted to buy her some flowers at the very least. He also wanted to talk to her privately, but he knew the chances were slim while the kids were around — it was going to have to wait for much later.