The Rest

Michonne kept watch at the window as Rick searched the CRM drop point for supplies. They left Greenwood six hours ago to make their way home to Judith and RJ. They would have to scavenge most of the way home, but this was a start.

"What's that smile?" Rick asked, catching her eye as he stuffed his backpack

"Just happy" Michonne replied "happy I found you, happy we're going home together. Don't get me wrong, it was worth it after eight years as a Nun; but it would've been a long way to travel and a whole lot to go through just to get laid"

He smiled "It was worth it, I almost died twice…. once when you pulled me out the helicopter and again when my heart stopped because I had to watch you change clothes."

"You didn't HAVE to watch…."

"I've been a Monk for eight years; I HAD to watch….so neither one of us has…...since…."

"We made RJ…. Do you remember what you said to me after …...?

Rick smiled "Thank you?"

Michonne laughed "You kissed me and said Congratulations, it's a boy!"

He nodded, a smirk playing on his lips "I can see myself saying that. I'm glad I was right…"

"Me too" she replied, meeting his eyes

Rick held her gaze, and Michonne felt her heart start racing. Both of them were unable to look away, even though they knew there was no time for what was on their minds.

She cleared her throat and turned back toward the window, flustered "We should um…. go….It'll be dark soon"

He nodded "We should…. Just need to grab a couple of gallons of water. I know someplace we can sleep tonight; it's about 20 minutes from here"

"And how do you know about this other place?"

"I looked at it for a drop point when Thorne and I were setting up Cascadia, but it was too far off the road. I wouldn't have known about it if I hadn't flown over."

It was jarring to hear him speak so casually about flying helicopters and working for the CRM. "Lucky for us, I guess."

"It'll be a safe place tonight; we can park the truck inside and it has solar power. We can eat, map out our route home, and get some rest."

Michonne nodded, leaning on the window frame "I haven't slept in thirty-six hours, some rest would be nice."

"Yeah, it's been more than forty-eight for me, I haven't slept since I wrote you that note" Hoisting his backpack and grabbing the water jugs "Let's go."

Michonne found Rick stretched out on the window seat, gazing at the moon. She took a moment to admire him, he would blush and deflect if she said it aloud, but he truly is a beautiful man. He was heavier than he was when he was taken, but it was all muscle. His chest, arms, legs were lean and sculpted. She loved the specks of gray in his hair and that patch of curls that touched his collar. He was even more perfect than she remembered.

She called out quietly "Hey…."

Rick turned his head as Michonne approached. His eyes traveled over her graceful frame as she moved toward him. Her beauty was otherworldly, her brown eyes that could speak volumes without a sound coming from her perfect lips. She was stronger than she was when he was taken, but her curves endured and there was a softness he was grateful remained reserved for him.

"Hey…." he replied softly, bringing one of his legs to the floor so she could sit opposite him.

Michonne leaned back, bringing her legs up to drape them on his thighs. "How long have you been up?"

Rick ran his hands along her legs "Couple hours I guess, can't turn my brain off. I shut myself down so I couldn't feel anything for the last year, now I feel everything. My biggest dream, my worst nightmare, and everything in between are fighting for space in my head."

She ran her finger along the scar on his thigh, courtesy of Jadis' pet walker "It might help to talk about it. What's your worst nightmare?"

Rick lowering his head, not wanting her to see the anger that flashed in his eyes "That mark on your back…."

"I'm okay" she reassured him softly "we're all okay"

Rick raised his head, and she could see the rage behind his eyes. He tilted his head, lip quivering and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. He managed to keep his voice even "Michonne…...what the hell were you doing out there seven months pregnant? How did that happen?"

Irritated, Michonne replied "She had Judith, what was I supposed to do?"

"You mean to tell me nobody in the community stepped up?! Cause if that's the case I'm gonna burn that fucking place to the ground…."

"They all tried to stop me…. Darryl, Rosita, Siddiq, Eugene, Aaron, Gabriel…. all of them, it was…. a scene. Rosita tried to get Siddiq to sedate me, Darryl was yelling, Eugene was…..Eugening….Gabriel was praying, Aaron literally stood in my way, and I threatened to cut off his other arm. She had Judith, do you really think anyone could have stopped me?"

"I could have stopped you…." Rick whispered; his voice filled with anguish.

His pain sucked the oxygen from her lungs. She knew what he meant because she thought it herself at the time.(Rick isn't here, I have to go) She took his face in her hands "Baby, what happened isn't your fault."

"Anytime you, or Judith, or RJ are hurt and I'm not there, it's my fault. Doesn't matter why I'm not there, not to me." He kissed her wrist, comforted by her pulse under his lips "I just have to make peace with what I can and find a way to live with what I can't. It makes me angry, and it hurts, but that means I'm alive again."

Michonne moved closer, brushing his hair from his forehead "Was it just not being able to see our faces that made you…...?"

Rick wrapped his arms around her "No, the thing that sent me over the edge was when he said your name…."

"Who? What happened?"

Rick was quiet for a moment, recalling the night he was at his lowest and Okafor saved his life for the last time "I had a plan to get away, fifth time I tried to get home. Things got messed up and I asked Thorne for help. She told me Okafor knew things about me, that he would find me. I broke into his room, put a knife to his throat. The boots and phone? That was from the third time I tried to get home. He found them and a letter I wrote to you"

"Oh my God…..."

"Yeah, I put the letter in a bottle and threw it in the water. Stupid mistake, your name was on it. He said if they started around where they picked me up, that was enough to find you. That they would send him to "clean up his mess." It was a death sentence for you and all of Alexandria."

A chill ran down her spine "So that's why you were worried about them coming for our home?"

Rick nodded "I knew he meant what he said and that someone would give that order. I knew because even though I didn't want to admit it – I knew why the bombs went out and didn't come back. I always thought they had something to do with Omaha being destroyed, and he as much as admitted it before he died. When I found you after your intake, I thought we could leave with him dead. Then Jadis was waiting for me in my room…"

Michonne pulled him in for a slow kiss "I'm sorry…."

Rick reached out to wipe tears from her eyes "You couldn't have known, not any of it. None of this is on you…."

She repeated his words back to him "Anytime you, or Judith, or RJ are hurt and I'm not there, it's my fault. Doesn't matter why I'm not there, not to me."

Rick nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. This was the woman he loved, his partner; her love was unconditional and unwavering. "Even though there is so much we haven't talked about yet, I know we've both been through hell. But I know we can do anything together. I know that and I won't lose that again. I promise you. But I need some time, before I can talk about the rest...…."

The last eight years flashed before her eyes and she reached for his hand, placing it over her heart "Me too, but we are here for each other. We'll get through it together"

Rick moved their hands from her heart to his "We are, we will. There is something I need to say right now though…."

"What's that?"

Rick lowered their hands but didn't let go "I'm sorry…."

Michonne interrupted "There's plenty of time for…."

"No, you've waited long enough. I owe you a hundred apologies, but I'll start with Greenwood. I'm sorry for hurting you, for the things I said, how I treated you. I'd been stuck so long, and I was so scared, I couldn't see another way. You didn't deserve that, I'm so sorry baby."

She blinked to hold back the tears "I know, but thank you saying it"

He exhaled "And the bridge? I didn't think it would hold. I thought they'd all end up in the river and I'd get home to you and Judith. I wanted to live, and I tried so hard." His voice faltered and he paused "I saw you and I heard you scream my name. I kept hearing it all these years, probably woke me up more than a thousand times. I'm sorry Michonne, I am so so sorry."

She climbed into his lap, and they held each other, both overwhelmed by reliving that moment. She pulled back to look at him, wanting him to see the pride in her eyes "You saved countless lives that day. It hurt, but I am so proud of you. Our kids are proud to call you their dad. You did live, the fault in this belongs with Jadis. I'm going kill that psycho, ON SIGHT, if I ever see her again."

The sun was beginning to peak over the horizon. Rick gave her thigh a squeeze "We better pack up if we want to get an early start"

Michonne placed her hand on his shoulder as he started to rise "I think we should rest, just one more day. We need to be strong; it's a long trip cross country"

"Just one more day?"

"Yeah, this place is secure. We can take our time mapping out our route. We can sleep. Plus, there's that enormous tub in the bathroom with room for two, and I saw some fancy bubble bath under the sink. Just one more day, okay?"

Rick smiled, raising his hand to cup her face "Okay."