I Own Nothing

AN: The first chapter was 18 pages long and that was way to much so broke it up. I hope that you enjoy this one. It's the one that has the question in Buck's Christmas card from Tommy.

Summary: Some singing and dancing to Christmas songs before Tommy gives a Christmas card to Buck.

Title: Christmas Cards With Memories

Tommy hadn't stopped smiling the whole time he'd been going through the cards. His face was kind of hurting, but he didn't care. He had been joking with Hen about not getting her Christmas cards in the years past because she forgot he was at harbor. He knew life got in the way and out of sight out of mind happened. Howie had called a few times if he'd needed something.

There had been the one time he'd called that he'd been wanting to tell him about Maddie and Jee. He'd been happy for him. He'd sent a baby gift which he'd gotten a nice card with Maddie and Howie's names on it as a thank you. Howie had put a picture of Jee inside of it. On the back of it Howie had written 'I couldn't think of a good name for my daughter, but Maddie did.' It had the full name on the back as well. He still had that picture in an album on his nightstand shelf.

"I think I'm going to need a new photo album to put all these pictures." Tommy said after a moment.

"Oh, shit I forgot something hold on." Buck said getting up off the floor and going to where he'd put his stuff down. Hen had told him to give Tommy whatever was in the package after he saw the cards. "Here you go." He sat back down beside Tommy who had moved to the couch again while he was gone. "She said this is not Christmas day gift, this is a now gift. There will be others Christmas day or eve."

Tommy took the gift looking at how nice it was wrapped. It was Christmas paper, but it had been colored in. He was careful figuring he could save a couple of sections and frame them since it seemed like a lot of time had gone into it. He hadn't seen paper like that for wrapping gifts, but he hadn't really had anyone to wrap gifts for. He usually just stuck his cousin's gift card in an envelope. He saw two places where Denny and Mara had written their names so he thought that might be a good place to save.

When he got it open there were two things inside. On top was a framed photo that had everyone at the 118 in it. At the bottom was a sticky note on top of the picture that said take me off. Tommy did and it revealed he was sitting there with Evan. The others had been standing or kneeling behind them. The picture had been taken at the park a few months back when they'd had the fourth of July celebration. He'd got to be there half the day with them before he'd had to leave. But he had fun that day the kids had a ton of fun playing and they'd brought his grill there along with Bobby's. He'd kind of been worn out when he'd gotten called in. He wouldn't have traded that day for not feeling tired though.

He carefully laid it down before pulling out the next thing which was a photo album. He thought it was empty at first since the first section didn't have any pictures. However, when he got to another section there were photos. Hen had gone through and put dozens of pictures in it. More pictures from the fourth of July. There were pictures from Halloween, some from the pride parade that he'd gone to with Evan and them. He'd painted a bi flag on Evan's face before they'd left. He had the gay flag colors on his. They'd had fun that day and a steamy night too. There were pictures from other random times in the album. Moments from the past he hadn't known anyone had taken a picture of either.

There was one picture of Hen, Howie, and him standing in front of the ambo. He remembered he'd been riding with them that week because he'd had an ear infection. He hadn't been able to go up on the ladders. He'd almost fallen off of the thing which had scared him. Hen had been the one that suggested what was wrong. Bobby had gotten him to ride with them instead of benching him until it cleared up or making him stay behind. He'd been the driver a lot, but he'd also learned a lot more medical things that week.

When he turned another page there were pictures of Evan and him. Some of only the two of them. Others had them with Christopher and Jee. Denny and Mara were there in pictures too. One he had Mara and Jee both riding on his back while he'd been playing horse with them. It had been fun and one picture had them lassoing him. That had been Evan's idea. They may have used the rope for some not child friendly things later when they'd dropped the kids back off.

There were still blank pages past that and the ones up front too. When he went back to the front there was a sticky note that said to fill the rest with the pictures we gave you in the cards. The rest of the space is yours to do whatever you want with pictures you'll have soon enough. He had an envelope full of pictures that he'd gotten developed the month before that he hadn't had a chance to put in an album. He knew they could go in the back of the new one.

"This is more than I was expecting. I mean I thought I might get a couple of cards or one from each of the families." Tommy said. "I didn't expect pictures and homemade cards."

"You are family, of course you not going to get some generic Christmas card that only has pre-written words and someone signing it." Buck said. "I didn't know about the pictures though. I got an idea for something, but you'll have to wait for Christmas to open it." He smiled. He was going to get some of the pictures that he had of the two of them developed. There was one that he was going to get a large version of and frame it.

~TB BT TB BT~

Buck took the album and the framed photo sitting them on the side table. He also moved the Christmas cards and pictures to the table. He then pulled Tommy up off the couch as White Christmas came on. He thought it was a great song to slow dance with Tommy to. It also kind of fit with the Christmas cards that Tommy had gotten. He knew it wouldn't snow here, but he still loved the song. He held onto Tommy singing the chorus of the song. The song changed into Have Your Self A Merry Little Christmas. He added and Bi to the song when it said make the yuletide gay. He knew it wasn't what the song meant, but didn't care.

There had been times when they'd been riding down the road or in the kitchen that Tommy would change words in songs. For Tommy's birthday he'd actually made him a cd of some of their favorite songs. Where it was supposed to be directed towards what some would see as the generic male/female songs for male/female couples he'd changed to fit them. He'd made the entire CD like that. Tommy had shown him just how much he loved it. They had also danced to the entire thing at least a dozen times now.

The house was decorated for Christmas, had been for weeks. Christopher had helped them along with Jee when they'd had them over. It had been a fun day he'd gotten to spend with Tommy. Rocking around the Christmas tree started, and the slow dance turned into them dancing and being silly around the living room. Tommy spun him out and brought him back dipping him down giving him a kiss. He returned it before he stood back up on both feet. Frosty the Snowman started next. He had been acting out the song for Jee and he used to do it for Christopher when he'd been younger. He did it now for Tommy who was smiling at him the whole time. He loved seeing his boyfriend's smile. He loved it when he could hear Tommy laugh too. He grabbed the broom that was sitting just inside the kitchen and used it for a prop. He acted like he was blowing a whistle too when it came to the cop part.

Buck started laughing when the song I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas came on. Tommy started singing the song with him. He hadn't heard it in a decade probably. He needed to play it for Jee. The next song that came on was Baby It's Cold Out. Tommy started singing the song and Buck loved every second of it. He sung the parts too as they danced around. The next song was You Make It Feel Like Christmas. Buck hadn't heard the song before. It was upbeat though and Tommy pulled him in dancing to it. They didn't know the lyrics, but they listened to it while dancing. It gave way to Jingle Bells which Buck knew by heart. He changed the lyrics when said take the girls tonight to take the men tonight. Tommy laughed when he changed the lyrics, and he went in kissing his boyfriend.

My Gift Is You started playing and Buck stopped because he had heard the song the other day when he'd been coming home. At the time he only got the last chorus of the song. Another day he had only been able to hear the first part because he'd been with Eddie and he cut the truck off. This song sounded perfect for him Tommy and him he thought. He'd had sung the parts he knew over and over. He started singing it now, changing best friend to Firefly. He had what he needed right now and that was Tommy.

The next song had him smiling because it was true. He hadn't ever kissed anyone with blue eyes before Tommy. He never wanted to kiss anyone else either. This was it for him. He had the best thing that he had ever had before. They had moved in together right before Tommy's birthday. They'd spent Thanksgiving together since they'd been off. The pictures and Christmas cards that he'd delivered to Tommy made it that much more real. His family loved Tommy. Bobby had said Tommy was good people and good for him. He moved in wrapping his arms around Tommy's waist as the song changed to It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas. That was a true story.

They slow danced to some more songs before he was being lifted off his feet and he easily wrapped his legs around Tommy's waist. They ended up in the bedroom collapsing on the bed laughing and cuddling up under the comforter that had been at the foot of the bed. Buck could still hear the music playing and Tommy had turned the volume up some before they had come in here. They laid there in each other's arms listening to the music playing. The ceiling had dancing lights on it because Tommy had a pre lit Christmas tree in their bedroom that when the lights were out would have the Christmas lights dancing on the ceiling when it was on. Unless they left the house they didn't unplug it. It was beautiful lying there with Tommy watching the lights, the Christmas music on. He thought about the Christmas cards that Tommy had opened and the fact that he had got spend all his free time with his partner.

"All I've ever wanted for Christmas is someone that loves me, all of me, not just part of me. I have that with you." Buck said. "I love you."

"It's the same thing I wanted for as long as I can remember. Christmases didn't mean much until I found you." Tommy said. "I love you, too. I love your Christmas card the most. I love dancing with you and just being silly. I love being a part of a family." He smiled turning his head so he was looking into Evan's eyes. This Christmas was perfect like the year had been.

He had already made the Christmas cards he had planned on giving his friends. He was letting them dry since he'd painted them. Each one held a special meaning from him to them. He couldn't wait to give them out. Christmas Cards were kind of his favorite thing this time of year. He hadn't had a reason to give them out before, even if he did love them. He had loved the ones he got. He hoped that Evan would love the one he'd made for him the most. He leaned over giving his boyfriend a kiss before he untangled himself going into the room he used to work on his painting, after he'd gotten from under the covers.

The Christmas card was dry since he'd made it first that morning. He'd been working on it for a while but had finished it today. He'd been off today and had spent the time painting the cards and writing in others that had been dried he'd made before. He'd also wrapped up some gifts he'd gotten so Evan couldn't find out what they were. His boyfriend loved to try and guess. He may have guessed right on one or two he'd already wrapped that was under the tree, but he had a good poker face. He wrote a few sentences in the card before going back into their bedroom handing the card to Evan.

"For me, aw, it's beautiful." Buck said looking at the card.

The front of the card was painted in sunrise colors. There was a helicopter that looked like there were two people inside. He remembered the first time he'd gone with Tommy to see the sun come up. They'd also watched a few sunsets as well. He moved his hand over the card smiling. There were words below the painting.

'We've seen sunrises together…'

Buck opened the card up finding a painting of a sunset and the same helicopter. It reminded him of the one they had taken out many times. He looked over the detail and how much time had gone into it. It hadn't been started today, maybe over the course of a few days off.

'We've watched the sunset in the sky...'

The next picture at the bottom of the page had what looked like the night Tommy had flown them into the hurricane.

'If we could survive a hurricane, I think we can survive anything that life gives us…'

Buck looked at the next page seeing what was another two scenes. One had their living room being like it had been the first time he'd come over. There had been things personal to Tommy, but nothing with pictures of people like it was in the second one. The top picture had the words.

'Last Christmas felt like another day. I was just existing, stuck not realizing that.'

The second picture was of the living room with Christmas happening like they had just left it. The tree had been painted like the one up. The ornaments were even detailed. It was beautiful. The words reading

"This Christmas you light up my life like our Christmas tree. There are decorations up all around. You got me dancing to Christmas songs when I hadn't really listened to them when they'd come on…'

Buck turned the last page of the card and it had a picture of what was clearly his boyfriend down on one knee. The picture was painted so that it was in front of their penguins that he had found. Those penguins were in the living room with the polar bears that he'd had for years, but hadn't had a place to put until this year. They were in front of Tommy's fireplace which in the picture was on.

'I got a question for you, sweetheart. Come in the living room I got something special for you.'

Buck read the lines a few times before he got up taking off into the living room. He hadn't even noticed that Tommy wasn't in the room because he'd loved the card so much he'd gotten lost in it. When he reached the living room the music was on low, the fire place was going, and Tommy was down on one knee holding a stuffed penguin. It confused him at first until he saw what was in the penguins flippers that were close together. There was a ring box that was open.

"Evan Buckley, would you make the rest of our Christmases and lives magical by being my husband?" Tommy asked. "I met you on a crazy night, but I fell in love with you over the last eight months. I had convinced myself that I'd be okay alone, but you opened up my eyes to what I've been missing. Getting text messages at any point day or night with an interesting fact made me smile. You told me one about the penguins once that they give pebbles to the ones that they want to be with. It stuck with me like the one with the two male penguins raising a chick together. I'd love to be your other half and we can raise a few babies together." Tommy finished hoping that he hadn't made it sound too weird.

He had found the stuff penguin when he'd been in a store the other day. It had blue eyes and a Santa hat on it with a scarf. It had been sitting all by itself on a shelf. He knew Evan was bisexual, but he'd thought when he saw the baby penguin there all by it's lonesome that it could be their Tango like the two gay penguins who were named Roy and Silo. There were other gay animals in the wild, but Evan loved penguins.

Maddie had told him once that her brother had wanted to let all the penguins live at their home so he could play with them. He had also tried running away to where penguins lived, but she had convinced him to stay. Evan had been five at the time and had been determined. Though she'd said he'd stayed when she offered him a stuffed penguin and they could one day rescue penguins when he got older. He might have found a place that had a penguin sanctuary that wasn't too far by helicopter from them. He might have also, for Christmas, gotten Evan a weekend to spend there after talking to the owners.

Buck started nodding his head because he couldn't get words to come out at first. He could feel the tears on his face, but didn't care. He'd told Tommy the story when they'd only been dating for two weeks. He'd sent so many messages that night then he'd sent one saying 'Please don't think I'm asking you to marry me or have babies with me right this second. I don't mean to scare you, I'm just telling you facts that just happen to sound like I'm asking you to pump me full of babies and that doesn't even make sense, but you know I'm just going to stop talking.' He'd been so embarrassed and added he was going to go and put his head in the toilet and flush it.

"Yes, yes, I'll be happy to marry you and have babies with you, Thomas Kinard." He finally got out before he walked over meeting Tommy part way when he'd gotten up.

He held his hand out letting Tommy slip the ring on. It was a ring that was a simple looking band. However, the inner part had two penguins made into it on a black background. There was a stone between them, and he loved the ring so much. Then he pulled Tommy in close kissing his fiancé.

"I had a little help finding the ring. I'm glad that you love it." Tommy said. "I wanted something that fit who you are. That night you sent that message about penguins and referenced us and marriage with babies in the same message. I kind of freaked out for about five seconds then I started picturing you realizing what you'd said and I figured you hadn't meant it that way right then. However, I had really wished I could have seen your face because I know you would have looked adorable." Tommy said.

"I do love it, and I'm glad you didn't run screaming for the hills at any point in the last eight months. I can be a handful, but I'm glad I'm your handful." Buck replied.

"You fit my hand just right I'd say." Tommy grinned before kissing his fiancé.

The evening had been wonderful with the Christmas cards with the memories. Then he'd made a new one with Evan from the one he'd made for him. He couldn't wait to make a Christmas card from the two of them. Maybe one day they would have a family card with them and a little one. He couldn't wait for that time.

~THE END~

EN: Thanks in advance for reviews and kudos. Did you all guess what the question was going to be. I love doing proposal stories. I also had remembered the gay penguins Roy and Silo plus their baby chick Tango for another story I'm doing and wanted to add it here too. Happy Holidays to everyone no matter which you celebrate I hope its safe, warm, and remember it doesn't have to be store bought. Homemade works perfect too.