1
Ianto sat with a feeling of doom as he watched the elite world of London's Cyber Crime Squad moving around him.
Like most Friday afternoons he pondered his life, he hated his fucking job, he hated this fucking city and he hated the fact he would now have to spend the entire weekend with his girlfriend who he was… shockingly… starting to hate as well.
Finally, he could stand it no more, rising from his desk to close the last file, placing it on the pile in the Out Tray, the In Tray now cleared. He then bit back a snarl as Duncan the Dickhead Supervisor Fuckface slammed the pile of files from his own In Tray into Ianto's, winked and sauntered off.
Ianto decided to be subversive, picking them up and returning them to Duncan Dickhead's tray with a feeling of satisfaction that was short lived as he sighed, then pulled them back again, knowing it was not worth the bullshit and on Monday morning he would at least have something to do while the others talked about their amazing weekends.
Fuckers.
Ianto sighed as he headed home, hoping Lisa would be in a better mood than him.
Rinse and repeat… this is his life.
.
.
"Where have you been, come on. Change!" Lisa demanded.
"What?" Ianto froze, totally confused as his hopes for a quiet evening in front of the gogglebox with his girls fizzled out. Come on… this weekend was supposed to be… oh. Right.
"I want to check the outfit match… go change!" she repeated with annoyance "I laid out the suit and the tie I want you to wear, come on I have to get this right, the Christmas Do at your place is always such a highball event!"
Ianto looked at her in the elegant ballgown that must have cost more than a month's wages and hid his horror as he knew she was serious. Saturday Night was the Staff Do. Oh god, he had forgotten. No wonder everyone was in a good mood. Booze. Free booze. Ergh.
Myfanwy sat primly on the sofa with a matching look of doom, no doubt she had not been walked yet so he asked "Did you walk the dog?"
"Are you mad? I don't have time for your furry bitch, come on." Lisa wailed, stomping a foot.
"Well, you wanted these stained wood floors and the white rugs. I take it a doggy shit in the middle of one would not be great in those heels love. And the little Romba thing… dog shit all over the house now… like… swish, splat… vroom" He smiled, knowing it would piss her off and she would have no way to be able to admit it.
"Fine. I need to change me knickers anyway, I don't like this undie line" she huffed, the full length mirror in the living room getting another glare like it was lying or something. Yes, he also had to live with that thing beside the telly. Christ. Yes, she was getting on his tits.
"Myf, come" Ianto said, patting his thigh as the dog loked at him with open relief, the golden Labrador landing off the sofa to skid across the floor, hit a rug and then surf the rest of the way as Lisa shrieked about the expensive rug.
Ianto hid his amusement as he slipped her harness on and stepped out of the apartment, finally letting his laughter start as he stood in the lift.
"Naughty girl" he choked out "That was terrible."
Myfanwy panted happily, not the least bit put out by his words. She knows she is a bitch and likes it that way. Just like he does. He took her for a walk around the garden and then they headed back, his footsteps resolute as he knew he had to smile and bear it around his dullard peers for the good of his relationship, don't get me wrong. She was a great catch and usually a nice girl but when stressed she became… a bit of a bitch.
He entered the apartment, unclipping the harness as his phone started to ring and he removed it form his pocket to see Dickhead flashing on the screen. With a sigh he answered to find Duncan asking a favour.
"You what?" he asked, unable to believe it.
"I said… I am the designated Weekender and I need to go to the Work Do. You hate these things and are like a wet week over by the water cooler whinging at her to let you go home… why not swap the weekend with me, eh?"
Ianto looked up to find Lisa in the doorway changing out her earrings, her face screwed up as she asked who he was talking to.
"Duncan wants me to work his caretaking shift this weekend so he can go to the do." He said, about to tell her that he would say no.
"Oh. OK. Makes sense" she turned her back on him and wandered back to the bedroom as he gaped at her retreating back. Duncan's voice was coming from the phone as he had heard her and then he hung up leaving Ianto standing there fuming.
Then… on the coffee table… PING… Lisa's phone went off with a text notification, then it rolled across the screen.
YOUR PUPPY SAID YES SO YOU AND ME ARE ON LIKE DONKEY KONG LOVER
Ianto stood there staring at the phone, then the phone number that was so damned familiar. Dickhead.
"Was that my phone?" Herself called from the other room.
"Yes love, want me to check it for you?" he asked with fake joviality, watching her run for it with her dress catching in the heel, ripping slightly as she snatched up her phone and laughed hollowly.
"Don't' be silly. Go wash your hands, you've been touching that bloody dog."
Ianto looked at the bloody dog who looked back at him as if to say that she might be a bloody dog but that one was as the bitch.
Ianto had things to think about.