Is this what you wanted?
— Prince of Egypt, The Plagues

Warning: Depictions of a controlling & abusive parental figure and incestuous undertones.

Yoichi had lost track of how long he'd been locked away.

There were no windows to show the passage of time. No rays of sunlight to break through the pitch black darkness. Apparently removing the privilege of light had been his brother's punishment for his latest escape attempt. The last one had been the loss of his bed. He was sure the inhumane treatment had started taking a toll on his body; It was certainly taking a toll on his mind. So much so that he'd taken to fasting. Suicide was a sin, but the fruits of the garden were nothing if not tempting.

He rested against the cold concrete wall, fingers idly tracing patterns into the floor. Being locked in an empty room with no light only really gave him one option for entertainment: His deteriorating mind. Boredom and rumination had become his best friends. The latter of which had begun to rear its head. His mindless thoughts wandered towards old memories, almost as if searching for a logical answer. An answer for how he'd ended up here. How they ended up like this.

It was a hazy memory, the details lost to time. He could recall the vague details of their childhood home. The evening sun filtered through the stale air, surrounded by early summer's warmth. The old couch he'd ignore in favour of sitting on the floor, engrossed in the TV. The VHS player situated underneath, running a thoroughly used tape of The Prince of Egypt. Only God knew how many times he'd spent watching that movie. For as much as he loved reading, the Bible had a tendency to bore him.

The film had reached its second half, transitioning into the brother's dispute. Despite his numerous rewatchings Yoichi remained captivated by the scenes, completely unaware of the new presence in the room. His large eyes watched the Pharaoh's magicians slither along the screen in song. The older brother, Ramses, was cast in a harsh shadow and the younger, Moses, was patronized by his underlings. It wasn't until he felt large hands grab underneath his armpits that he was snapped from the movie's world.

"What have I told you about sitting on the floor?" The elder Shigaraki brother chastised as he lifted the boy into the air. "Doesn't your butt hurt?"

"No," Yoichi calmly answered, letting himself be hoisted up.

"It's not good for you," he continued to lecture, settling the boy in his lap as he relaxed onto the couch.

"Sorry," he apologized with all the sincerity a disinterested seven-year-old could muster, "why are you home so early?"

"Yoichi, it's almost dinner time." He cocked his head to the side, staring at him with a disapproving frown. "What have you been doing all day?"

An uncomfortable sensation of guilt slipped into his stomach. He pulled his lips into a thin line, avoiding eye contact as a beat of silence hung between them. It was uncomfortable, laced with his brother's disappointment.

"You didn't read today, did you?"

"I read a little…" he mumbled.

"Your comics don't count."

Another drop of silence fell, heavier than the last. Yoichi hung his head, curling his hands to his chest. His brother didn't have to speak for him to know his punishment. His downtime filled with superheroes and secular media was waved goodbye under his brother's rule, to be replaced with Bible study until he'd made up for lost time. He sank into his brother's embrace as the teenager gently soothed his sorrows by rubbing his upper arm.

"You know I do this because I love you, right?" He whispered into Yoichi's hair.

"I know."

"God wants you to love him, cherish him, and to follow his commandments. How can you do that if you don't read his words? How do you hope to avoid sin?" His voice was smooth, filled with confidence and something unplaceable that made Yoichi's chest tighten. "God's wrath towards sin is righteous and unrelenting. I want to spare you from it, to shield you and protect you, but you have to listen to me. I can't protect you if you won't let me teach you, Yoichi."

He hid his face further into his brother's dress shirt, his words muffled by the fabric. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, little one." He spoke over the TV's sound. Moses's pleas towards his brother to stop were drowned out, replaced by his brother's heartbeat and the fading of his memory.

Upon reflection, he loathed how guilty he felt. It left a bitter taste in his mouth to remember how he'd once behaved and believed. He couldn't fault his past self too much, he was just a kid after all. The one truly deserving of his ire was his brother. Even as a teenager, the man had been planting seeds of manipulation into his young, innocent mind. A fact that made his blood boil the longer he dwelled on it.

As a child Yoichi had looked up to him. To his older brother who'd diligently studied the holy word. Who always dressed himself with formality and dignity, decorated with a warm smile and kind eyes. A benevolent demeanor that had fooled many. He played the role of God's right hand man so seamlessly that very few saw the devil's shadow trailing behind. It wasn't until Yoichi had reached his own teen years that he began to notice the cracks in his façade.

The eldest Shigaraki had always claimed to protect him. With how sickly Yoichi had been growing up, it wasn't hard to see why. His air of overprotectiveness had fit neatly into the picture frame. An older brother afraid to lose his weak and delicate younger brother. Many were willing to forgive the overbearing tendencies out of pity. Even if it had been out of good intentions (which it wasn't), a strict household was perfect for breeding escape artists and resentment.

Yoichi had longed to taste freedom and he was determined to steal a sip.

At age sixteen he'd taken that step. He could easily recall the way his heart pounded, flooding his ears and threatening to tear out of his chest. The adrenaline coursed through his veins as he snuck from his window. Fear and guilt gripped him but they were no match for the overpowering excitement that washed over him. The night sky was vast, welcoming him with open arms and endless possibilities.

It wasn't like he had been locked away, never to see the sun (unlike his current predicament). He'd been out regularly, to church sermons, parks, dinner, etc. Despite being homeschooled, he was no stranger to the outside world albeit sheltered. What was new was the feeling of freedom. To be left to his own devices without a watchful eye to keep him from straying from their side. That night no one was breathing down his neck, no one held him from a leash.

He was free.

It was almost overwhelming.

No scratch that, it was definitely overwhelming.

Aspects of the night had turned into a blur over time. All the streets blended together, the groups of people he floated between as he explored stores and niche venues. It wasn't until he'd stumbled upon the local bar scene that his memory turned crystal clear again. How could he forget it? It was when he'd met his lover after all.

He'd been standing under an awning, illuminated by various neon lights coating the streets. Crowds of people drifted by, words slurred as many ventured home from the local clubs. A few loitered nearby, smoking and glancing at their phones. He kept his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. He didn't have a phone to tell time, there'd never been a need for one. Now he desperately wished he had one. At best he'd guess it was three in the morning. It seemed like it had been half an hour since the couple he'd asked said it was two-thirty.

He'd been so lost in people-watching that he failed to see a familiar face approach him, a woman from the church's congregation. "Yoichi?"

He jumped, his earlier fears hitting him like a freight train at the sound of his name. He snapped his head towards the woman, eyes wide as he stuttered. "O-oh, hi. I didn't expect to see you here."

"It's a little late for you and Father Shigaraki to be out, isn't it?" Her tone was warm but it bit at the back of his mind. Were he and his brother really so inseparable? And why was she out so late herself?

"Ah, he's back at home–"

"Does he know you're out?"

"Well, not exac–"

"You shouldn't go worrying your brother now, dear. He cares very deeply about you." His stomach was invaded by the guilt he knew so well, but what confused him was the strange distance he had for it. Anxiety had entered his chest and yet, he couldn't will himself to follow the right path.

A weight draped itself around his shoulders, interrupting his thoughts. He looked to his side to find a man, one that had been loitering nearby. Warmth radiated from the man's body, wrapping around him like a blanket. His face was inches from Yoichi's own, laced with a neutral expression and tired eyes.

"He's with me, he's fine." His voice stirred something in Yoichi's chest, heart beginning to pound for new reasons.

"Who are you?"

"Who's asking?"

The woman blinked, her smile tightening. "...Yoichi's never mentioned you before and I don't believe I've seen you around the church."

"Yoichi's dragging me to a service on Sunday." He responded; The lie slipped from his lips smoother than Yoichi had ever heard. "Any other grievances?"

"...don't stay out too late now boys."

"We won't," Yoichi reassured as she left, watching her disappear down the street. His nervous smile faded with a sigh.

"Strict dad, huh?" The man pulled away, patting his shoulder. Yoichi turned around to properly look at him, taking in the way the city's lights hit his features. The various colours fading into the harsh night shadows. His eyes were deep and Yoichi found himself entranced by them.

"Uh, close. Brother." He answered.

The man clicked his tongue, "that's rough, buddy."

Yoichi didn't have a response as he watched the man saunter back to his place against the building's brick walls. There was a beat of silence before he decided to speak up again, "Thank you, you didn't have to do that."

The man shrugged, "It's no problem. Her attitude was getting on my nerves."

"She's just worried about me."

"Got a funny way of showing it."

Yoichi glanced around the environment. The already small crowds were growing thinner and the traffic was beginning to match it. He spoke as he turned back to the man, "...What are you doing out here?"

"Same thing as you," Yoichi's brows rose in confusion before the man continued, "I snuck out."

"Was I that obvious?" He returned with a sheepish grin.

"Very."

Yoichi's shoulders slumped in defeat as his grin spread into a smile. "Not one to mince words, I see."

"Nope."

"I suppose I should head back…" He mused aloud, looking up at the sky with wistful eyes.

"Are you saying that because you want to or because you got caught?"

It was a simple question, not one Yoichi had to ponder and yet he gave it pause. He let the wind play with his unstyled hair. He knew the answer he was supposed to give, and in that moment he'd found a piece of himself in that starless sky. He turned back to the man, "And what if I say the latter?"

The man smirked, the first clear expression he'd made. "Ever been on the escapement at night?"

He had. He'd been along the escarpment brow with his brother a couple times growing up.

"No, I haven't."

"You Who I Called Brother, How Could You Have Come to Hate Me So?" is available on Archive of Our Own (18 Version) and SquidgeWorld (18 Version) under the same title and username; Wattpad (Censored) cross-post coming soon