Chapter 1: A Tropical Dimension

Lister lay sprawled on his bunk, the scent of a half-eaten curry wafting lazily through the air. Rimmer, perched rigidly on the bunk above, was practicing his trademark scowl, aimed squarely at Lister's latest attempt to compose an impromptu song on his guitar. The soft strums accompanied Lister's murmured lyrics about an elusive "paradise" somewhere beyond the stars.

"Paradise? You wouldn't know paradise if it walked in here and handed you a lager," Rimmer snorted, propping himself up on his elbows.

"Says the man who thinks Areola is a goal keeper for West Ham," Lister replied, barely containing his smirk.

Rimmer frowned. "Who did he play for then? Arsenal?"

Lister's laugh nearly shook the bunk. "Mate, Areola's not a player. It's part of… a woman's anatomy."

Rimmer's face turned a peculiar shade of crimson. "Well, how was I supposed to know that? I've spent most of my life surrounded byintellectuals. Not… biology books!"

"Intellectuals? Rimmer, the only intellectual you've ever met was the one in your imagination who told you you were too clever to join the chess club," Lister fired back, grinning. "And while we're on the subject of football, you still think Liverpool's manager was called Juri Kop."

"It's a reasonable mistake," Rimmer defended, puffing up his chest. "Foreign names are tricky."

"It'sJurgen Klopp, man! And Kop isn't even a manager; it's a grandstand at Anfield!"

Rimmer's brow furrowed, his lips forming a thin line of indignant disbelief. "Why do you always have to bring these things up? I'm unlucky enough as it is without you pointing out every minor slip-up!"

Lister placed the guitar aside and leaned back, looking at the ceiling. "Unlucky? You're unlucky? Rimmer, I've spent the last however-many years stuck in a tin can three million years into deep space, withyou. If anyone's unlucky, it's me."

Before Rimmer could respond with a suitably scathing retort, Kryten's voice crackled over the intercom. "Sirs, I've detected something quite extraordinary!"

Both men turned toward the intercom. "What is it, Kryten?" Lister asked, more curious than alarmed.

Kryten's voice took on a tone of mild urgency. "We've just been sucked through a wormhole and now we appear to be approaching a planet with an Earth-like atmosphere. The readings indicate it's remarkably similar to early 21st-century Earth, but with some… irregularities."

Rimmer groaned. "What kind of irregularities? Giant bugs? Sentient cheese? I've had enough weirdness for one lifetime, thank you."

"It's hard to say, sir," Kryten replied. "But I would strongly advise evacuating into Starbug, and even the bug is unlikely to give us enough momentum to break free of the the planet. We've been caught in its gravitational orbit and are rapidly descending."

Lister jumped to his feet, grabbing onto the edge of the bunk as Red Dwarf jolted violently. "Ok, Kryters, we're on our way. Can you stabilize us for a little while?"

"I'm attempting to compensate, sir, but I'm afraid we were caught off guard quite suddenly. I've been saying we need to upgrade our monitoring equipment."

"Ok, we're coming as fast as we can, Kryten."

A few minutes later, Lister and Rimmer were met by Kryten at the entrance to Starbug, where they were joined a short time later by Cat, who burst into the corridor, looking alarmed but still managing to look impeccably stylish. "What's going on? The ship's wobbling so much it's messing up my fur!"

"Sir," Kryten began calmly, we've been caught in a planet's gravitational field and we need to take off in Starbug as quickly as we can." Cat nodded in response, and the group quickly scampered on board the green coloured craft.

They all shuffled into the crew deck, where the four of them took their usual positions. A short time later, Rimmer gave the order for them to take off at full speed, and the ship quickly detached from the much larger Red Dwarf, and began its flights round the planet, as Lister and Cat flew frantically, trying to build up enough momentum to escape the large planet's gravitational pull.

"How are we looking Kryten?" Lister asked Kryten nervously after several minutes of flying. Kryten paused at first, before delivering the bad news.

"I'm afraid it hasn't worked sir. Brace yourselves, everyone! We're going down!" Kryten's voice echoed ominously as Starbug pitched forward.

Rimmer clung to the side of his seat, his face frozen in panic. "This is it! This is how it ends! Crashing into some unknown backwater planet, smeared across the cockpit like cheap pate!"

Lister rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on a nearby console. "Relax, man. Kryten's got this. Probably."

The ship rocked violently, sparks flying from the control panels as the crew held on for dear life. The unmistakable sound of an engine failing filled the air, and Starbug plummeted through the atmosphere. Outside, the windows lit up with fiery streaks as the ship sliced through the atmosphere.

"Only ocean so far", Lister announced tensely as the ship dove closer to the surface.

"I think I can see land!" Cat shouted moments later, pointing dramatically toward the viewport.

"It's not land you're seeing; it's our impending doom!" Rimmer wailed.

Kryten's voice rang out one last time before the impact. "Hold on, everyone! Engaging emergency landing procedures!"

The ship collided with the ground, skidding across soft sand and coming to a screeching halt in a dense grove of tropical trees. For a moment, all was still, save for the faint sound of distant waves crashing against a shore.

Lister groaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Well, that wasn't so bad. I think."

Cat brushed off his jacket and checked his reflection in a polished surface. "My fur's all over the place! This is a disaster!"

Rimmer staggered to his feet, his face a mask of barely concealed terror. "I'm alive? We're alive? Kryten, where are we?"

Kryten emerged from a nearby hatch, slightly singed but otherwise intact. "Congratulations, sirs. We've successfully landed on the surface of what appears to be a tropical planet."

Lister peered out of a nearby window, his face lighting up. "Tropical, eh? Looks like we might've finally found our little slice of paradise."

Rimmer crossed his arms, suspicious. "Paradise? Knowing our luck, it's probably crawling with hostile lifeforms just waiting to eat us alive."

"Only one way to find out," Lister said, heading toward the exit hatch. "Come on. Let's see what this place has to offer."

The crew stepped outside into the dazzling sunlight. Towering palm trees swayed gently in the breeze, and the air was filled with the scent of salt and exotic flowers. In the distance, they could hear the faint hum of activity from what seemed to be a small village.

Cat grinned, his eyes sparkling. "I think I'm gonna like it here."

Lister clapped him on the back. "Me too, buddy. Me too."

Unbeknownst to them, this "paradise" held secrets far stranger than they could have imagined.