Chapter 26 - Desperate Decision
Jaune checked his pack once more, before looking over his room one final time.
Good, it looked like he'd remembered to take everything he'd need.
Or maybe... maybe he should just check again, just to make sure...
Jaune quickly shook his head, banishing those thoughts before they could fully take form.
This wasn't the first time he'd done something like this ; he knew he was stalling, and he knew the longer he stalled the more likely it was he'd lose his nerve.
Sighing, he stood up, slinging his pack over his shoulder, and made his way to the door.
Before he opened it, though, he made sure to kneel down, taking a look under the door, and then put an ear to it.
The lack of any figures or footsteps outside the door was both expected and comforting, and he inhaled deeply as he quietly opened the door, and left the room.
As he stalked through the deserted corridor, utilizing both his knowledge from Beacon's survival classes and his experiences growing up with seven sisters, he mentally ran over his plan one more time, as well as his memories of Camelot's layout.
The exit he was aiming for was about ten minutes away at his regular pace, and if the patrol routes hadn't changed from the last time he and Sir Mordred had returned from training late he should have at least a good twenty minutes before the guards got anywhere near this section of the castle again, and he did have a back-up plan for if he got spotted, of course-
"I do believe I mentioned that you require an escort should you wish to go anywhere, Jaune," a voice suddenly spoke up from behind him.
Jaune immediately spun around, already reaching for his sword, before freezing as he belatedly recognized just who it was had broken the silence.
Seemingly unfazed by his disobedience or his actions, Arthur simply looked him over from where she stood outside his room's open door, before continuing: "Oddly enough, I fail to see any other knight accompanying you at this moment."
"Your Majesty," Jaune gulped as he took a step back, racking his brain to try and figure out a way out of this situation; he had plans for if another knight had spotted him leaving, of course, but he certainly didn't have any plans for dealing with Arthur .
Then, to his surprise, Arthur's expression softened slightly, and he simply replied: "Considering that you are currently not only disobeying a direct order from your King but also attempting to effect an unsanctioned departure from the castle, I do believe formalities are the least of your concerns, Jaune."
"... how did you know?" Jaune asked, involuntarily tensing up.
"The sack of your possessions slung over your shoulder and the way you have been skulking through Camelot's halls are more than sufficient at announcing your intent," Artoria pointed out wryly, before gently adding: "But in truth, even before they were confirmed by your actions, I already had my suspicions, Jaune."
"You did?" Jaune blinked.
"When we met earlier, your expressions spoke volumes of your true emotions, though I must admit I had no concerns of such an action from you until I had learned that Agravain had confronted you and Mordred after our meeting earlier," Artoria explained, not unkindly, as she raised her hands placatingly: "Before you fully commit to doing something rash, however, would you permit me but a few minutes of your time, that we may speak frankly, Jaune?"
"... I don't really have a choice, do I?" Jaune shrugged after a moment, unable to relax in the slightest.
" Of course you have a choice," Artoria refuted the notion immediately. "Though I would of course not wish it, you are free to continue leaving the castle if you so chose, Jaune."
"... you're not going to stop me?" Jaune questioned warily.
"Had I wished to stop you, I could have simply called for the guards, just as I could have easily apprehended you instead of announcing my presence, " Artoria reminded him, before confirming: "But I am no tyrant, just as Camelot is no gaol, and you are no prisoner; while I would certainly hope to be able to change your mind, I have no desire to maintain your continued service through threat or force, as such coercion would render it utterly meaningless. Should you still wish to leave at the end of our conversation, you have my word that I will not hinder your departure, just as Sir Tristan was free to leave after his outburst."
Jaune studied Arthur for a few heartbeats and weighed his options, before he exhaled slowly, forcibly releasing the tension in his shoulders, and then looked back up at his friend: "Alright, sure. What'd you want to talk about, Arthur?"
"You have my thanks, Jaune," Artoria nodded, before meeting his eyes as she got straight to the point: "May I know what exactly transpired when Agravain confronted you and Mordred earlier in the day, that has apparently shaken your faith in my commitment to treat you fairly and justly?"
"What?" Jaune blinked, not having expected such a question.
"Am I mistaken?" Artoria asked apprehensively, raising an eyebrow. "Considering the timing, and what Agravain spoke with me about, I had been worried that Agravain had somehow persuaded you that he had the means to finally convince me to pronounce your guilt."
"No, no, that's not it, Arthur," Jaune quickly denied, shaking his head vigorously. "I haven't lost faith in you or anything, honest!"
"That is good to hear," Artoria smiled, inwardly feeling a small measure of relief, one that was quickly extinguished as she continued on: "Though that does leave your motive for effecting your escape yet unknown, Jaune.
"Please, tell me; has this entire situation truly been so unbearable, that you would rather depart Camelot, in the middle of the night no less, than endure yet another month of it?"
Jaune closed his eyes as he looked away quietly, desperately racking his brain to try and explain what was really weighing on his mind.
Artoria, for her part, simply watched him in silence, waiting patiently for him to speak.
Finally, Jaune began: "Arthur... did I ever tell you about my past?"
"Only that you were a farmer's son in the Kingdom of Vale, before you became a part of your world's order of knights, a Huntsman, and fell in battle against a dragon and a witch," Artoria recalled.
"Yeah, that's right," Jaune nodded. "I was a farm boy, who wanted so much to become a hero, to help people, that I ran away from home to become a Huntsman..."
Artoria quietly reached for Jaune's shoulder, not needing her Instinct to see where this was going.
Jaune didn't flinch away from Arthur's touch, though his fists still involuntarily balled in frustration as he continued: "But... look at all the trouble I've caused in the past few weeks, Arthur. Gareth's been arguing with Gawain and Gaheris because of me . I know you've been having to deal with Agravain, and probably anyone else who's convinced I'm guilty, and Sir Mordred... instead of being the Knight he's always wanted to be, instead of going out there and protecting the kingdom like he's supposed to... Sir Mordred's stuck here .
"All of that, and for what ?" Jaune asked rhetorically, still not meeting Arthur's eyes, before finally hanging his head as he hopelessly finished: "Maybe Agravain was right; just by staying here I'm causing problems for everyone."
A moment of silence followed, the only movement between the pair coming from the heaving of Jaune's chest as he tiredly took deep breaths, emotionally drained from finally having gotten that off his chest.
Then Arthur's voice broke the silence with a simple question: "Do you truly believe that ?"
Jaune looked back up at the King, meeting his familiar green eyes once more, as Arthur gently continued before he could answer: "Do you truly believe that your presence in Camelot has brought more harm than good, Jaune? That my subjects in Snowdonia would be better off had you never been around to help Mordred slay the Addanc?
"That Gareth regrets her friendship with you? That my son should never have known your company, the experience of being your mentor, or the comfort you offered him when he learned of his lineage?
"Do you believe I wish I had never met you, and had never had your assistance in reconciling with Mordred and making preparations to confront Lancelot and Guinivere?" Artoria concluded her rhetorical questions, her gaze never wavering even as she chided him: "Do not forget what I told you earlier; do not do a disservice to either Mordred or Gareth or either of us now by forgetting all you have accomplished here, Jaune.
"And do not insult the loyalties and friendships of my niece, my son, or I by pretending that none of us are willing to endure these trials for your sake, especially not when you would do the same for us, eagerly and without complaint, should the roles have been reversed."
Jaune couldn't help but look away again, the King's piercing green eyes and lecture reminding him far too much of another late-night conversation with another green-eyed friend.
But at the same time, this wasn't the same as back in Beacon; it wasn't a misplaced sense of pride that was stopping him from accepting their help, but simple care and concern for his friends.
Artoria, for her part, simply sighed, seeing that the young man remained yet unconvinced, and quietly empathized: "Make no mistake, Jaune; I do understand your emotions, your anger at the helplessness and perceived inability to affect the situation, your frustration at being forced into inaction through no fault of your own, with the additional trials you see your friends going through for your sake being the final straw on your conscience, even if we do so willingly."
"... you do?" Jaune blinked as he looked up once more, not having expected that from Arthur at all.
... wait, was that what he was feeling?
"Even ignoring the fact that I was once your age, I have seen many of the knights when they were but young men as well, with the rashness and impatience that belongs to youth," Artoria smiled at him, though there was a slight hint of sadness in her eyes, already seeing how this would play out. "Rather than willingly laying down and submitting to the whims of fate, you and all of my Knights would raise arms and defy it, heedless of the odds against you. Regardless of where you may have come from, you truly do have the soul of a Knight of the Round, Jaune Arc."
"... uh, thanks, Arthur?" Jaune rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, feeling both flattered and confused by his words. Was Arthur praising him for breaking the rules? Was he being told he should stay or what?
Artoria looked him over one final time, before responding: "I will not insult your convictions by asking you to stay once more, Jaune. However, I have but one request that I would like you to hear out, before I leave you to your final decision, as I gave my word that I would."
"Of course, Arthur," Jaune nodded immediately.
"Then, should you choose to leave, I wish that you give me your word that you return to the halls of Camelot after a year has passed, or after Merlin has returned and I have sent for you, whichever should come first," Artoria asked him, before elaborating: "Please understand that, should you choose to depart this night, it will not appease Agravain or your detractors in the least; if anything, it is likely they will take your flight as a sign of further guilt. And I will not allow your reputation to remain tarnished, just as I am sure that Mordred will never allow one to besmirch your name."
"... I will, Arthur," Jaune agreed, after a moment's thought. "And an Arc never goes back on his word."
"Then, I will accept your word," Artoria nodded, making to leave. "I pray you make your choice wisely, Jaune."
As Arthur turned the corner and disappeared from view, the tension finally left Jaune's body, and he slumped against the wall, letting loose a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding as he pondered his last conversation with the King.
He couldn't lie; his certainty had been shaken by meeting Arthur, and by hearing him out.
But, at the end of the day... even if his friends were more than willing to make sacrifices for him...
Arthur had been right; he just could not remain helplessly in his room doing nothing, could never let them continue to suffer for him.
He couldn't come between Gareth and her brothers.
He couldn't come between Agravain and Arthur and Mordred.
And he couldn't allow himself to continue stopping Mordred from being the Knight he was always meant to be.
As his thoughts turned to Mordred, however, he found himself involuntarily looking towards the direction he knew Mordred's room was in, and as he imagined Mordred's reaction to his departure he couldn't help but wish he could talk to him before he left.
But he knew his mentor, his friend.
Mordred would never let him go, not alone.
But... the kingdom needed Mordred more.
And most of all, Mordred thought the world of his father; for Oum's sake, he'd become a Knight of the Round Table because he'd wanted to serve Arthur!
He couldn't do it, couldn't tear the newly-discovered father and son apart.
Hopefully, he'd understand, even if he never forgave him.
And so, for the second time in his life, armed with only a sword, his family's shield-sheath, and whatever he could carry on his back, Jaune ran away in the middle of the night, determined to be a hero .
Author's Notes: Despair, for I live, and more importantly, as was pretty unsubtly foreshadowed in the previous chapter, Jaune decides to remove himself from Camelot, hoping that his absence will at least help his friends...
Y'know, even though I had the rough outline for this chapter in my head even before I published Chapter 25 (I did say this was originally a part of it, after all), between my workload and how clearly controversial this would be, I couldn't help but sit on it for a long time, wondering how best to pull it off, how exactly Artoria and Jaune would talk to each other, what points they'd play, how best to convey their positions to each other and the audience, and whether there really was no other way.
As I've said many times, I take no pleasure in seeing the characters of the story suffer, but, well... just a reminder, Jaune is pretty much just a teenager, who has the drive to do the right thing, but doesn't necessarily know the best way to go about it (once again, going to a Huntsman Academy despite not even knowing what Aura is was pretty much suicidal, and he only even survived Initiation because of Pyrrha, and that's not even getting into him falsifying his transcripts to get to Initiation in the first place), and who has also been thrust into another world that he barely knows or understands, without any warning whatsoever, after handling a terrorist attack, the death of the Headmaster of Beacon, and facing off against a Grimm dragon and a witch.
To add to that, his first impression of Camelot was from Lancelot, Gareth, and Mordred, some of the most idealistic (or naive in Mordred's case) and loyal Knights of the Round Table, and he was introduced to it as a shining beacon of justice, equality, and chivalry in the chaotic post-Roman Dark Ages Britain. He doesn't know of the reality of the situation, the cracks in Camelot, the way the deck's been stacked against Artoria, or how it's all destined to come crashing down. All he knows is that things were fine, albeit with some bumpy patches like Tristan's outburst and departure, Guinivere's affair, and Mordred being Artoria's bastard child, and then suddenly one day everything got turned upside down and now family's arguing against family over him.
Feel free to debate it or criticize me as much as you wish, but such is how things are, and things will only get worse, until we finally hit the last few chapters where everything's finally addressed if not explained.
On a side note, while Mordred may know the most about Jaune in Camelot, after writing this chapter I can't help but feel like Artoria's actually the one who understands Jaune the most, for the sole reason that Mordred's still too young and naive to properly understand what Jaune's really feeling (for example, at the end of the last chapter, she suspected something was off about Jaune, but rather than talk to him about it instead decided to instead trust that he would tell her if something was wrong).
Fun fact: to really illustrate the differences between Mordred and Artoria with Jaune, I did actually plan to add a quick omake to the end of this chapter, essentially detailing what would have happened had Mordred been the one to confront Jaune instead of Artoria. Unfortunately, it was even more soul-crushingly depressing than what I'd already written, so I decided against adding it in for the time being.
Don't expect the next chapter any time soon, either.