Chapter 14
Harry 24, Death Eaters 0
The next morning (Sunday, 16 July), quite early (3.17am)
Just outside the wards of Nott Manor
Nott Manor is the eleventh Death Eater home Harry has attacked this morning
Pop. Harry and Dobby appeared in the night darkness, just outside the Nott Manor wards. And not only Harry and Dobby instantly came here—both of Harry's shoulders were ice-cold, which meant that Ghost-James and Ghost-Lily had made the trip too.
Now Harry began folding up Ian Bond's map—
Pop-p-p-p-p-p-pop.
—as the four Potter house-elves and the three (remaining) Malfoy house-elves elf-popped in close to Harry, Dobby and the two ghosts.
Also elf-popped in with the seven new-arrival elves: an open-topped wooden box. In the box was a chain that at the moment was coiled up within the box. One end of the chain was attached to the inside bottom of the box; the other end of the chain ended inside a red rubber ball. The steel chain was delicate, the links not much bigger than would be found in a gold necklace; but the chain was long: 1 001 feet.
One house-elf or another conjured a floating lightball, which gave the house-elves and Harry light enough to work. A floating, opaque lampshade was conjured at the same time, round the lightball, so that if someone in Nott Manor looked out a window now, they would not see the lightball.
The Malfoy head house-elf Goldy gestured, and the chain in the box uncoiled itself, with the red rubber ball at the end of the chain rising straight up. In less than a minute, the chain was extended to its full 1 001-feet length vertically.
Meanwhile, six of the seven remaining house-elves were conjuring something that looked electrical—
The six house-elves conjured a vertical disk about a centimetre thick, of unglazed porcelain—meaning the white disk was rigid and electrically nonconductive. The diameter of the disk was the length of a man's hand. Near the edge of the disk, on opposite sides, were two copper nails, finger-length, that started at the back of the disk, went through the disk and stuck out in front. In the middle of the back side of the disk was a huge capacitor that was fully charged. Thick-enough insulated copper wires connected each end of the capacitor to the nearer copper nail.
The electrical contraption was then enclosed in a hollow rubber ball. The inside diameter of the hollow rubber ball was the same as the diameter of the disk. The copper nails were the right length in front that they brushed up against the inside of the front of the hollow rubber ball. On the outside of the hollow rubber ball, fluttering wings appeared.
Once the whole thing was put together, the round thing with wings made Harry think he was looking at the love child of a Quaffle and a Snitch. Rather than name it something plain like "the giant Snitch with a deadly electrical contraption inside" or give it the military-bureaucracy name of "Dark-Mark-Targeting Magical Assassin," Harry called it the thingy.
Once construction of the thingy was complete, three of the house-elves enchanted the thingy in some way. Dobby enabled the thingy to sense where (and if) the Dark Mark was in the house. Potter house-elf Daisy enabled the thingy to sense when the target (the Dark-Marked person) was in the same room as the thingy—meaning, no wall or floor was between the thingy and the target. Malfoy house-elf Hunky enabled the thingy to sense humans and house-elves in the house, so that the thingy could avoid flying into them.
The hoped-for end result? If someone (Thaddeus Nott) in Nott Manor was Marked with the Dark Mark, the thingy would go straight to him, whilst flying round everyone else in the house—
—then Thaddeus Nott would be electrocuted.
Whilst the house-elves were working to cause the death of Thaddeus Nott, James remarked, "Thaddeus's ancestor Cantankerus Nott, however-many generations back, came out with The Sacred Twenty-Eight in the 1930s. It was supposedly a listing of the only acceptably Pureblood families in Wizarding Britain. House Potter was excluded by name, because back through the centuries, Potter heads of house had a 'disturbing habit,' according to Cantankerus Nott, of marrying half-bloods and Muggle-borns."
James paused to kiss Lily on the cheek.
Harry smirked. "If this is why we Potters aren't on the list, then advance warning: Come 1998, House Potter will be excluded anew. If Cantankerus Nott thought Pansy Parkinson would be a more desirable bride for me than Hermione would be, his brain was a cauliflower."
Then Harry's voice got sombre. "Mum, what can you tell me about Grandaunt Violet, who was murdered by Death Eaters?"
Lily answered, "Violet Evans Resshert was the younger sister of your grandfather, David Evans. Aunt Violet truly loved life. She exercised when British married women did not exercise, she wore bright-coloured clothes, and she flirted with everyone male—pimple-faced bagboys at the market, neighbour men, younger male relatives and older male relatives. But women who knew her didn't mind her flirting, mostly, because she flirted with her husband Orwald so outrageously that it was sometimes embarrassing to watch. I'm sure that those two were, well, intimate like rabbits, even in their fifties."
"Aunt Petunia never mentioned Grandaunt Violet. Aunt Petunia for sure never introduced me to her."
"I'm not surprised. Tuney couldn't stand Aunt Violet. I remember one time, when Tuney was fourteen. Tuney yelled at Aunt Violet, 'Why can't you act normally? What must your neighbours think?' "
"What did Grandaunt Violet say to that? Were her feelings hurt?"
"No, she looked at Tuney with a pitying smile and said, 'Young lady, nobody on their deathbed ever has said, "I should have spent more time listening to the neighbours." ' "
When the process of enchanting the thingy was completed by the house-elves, Harry pulled a parchment from his pocket and unfolded it. On the parchment was " 5," each numeral being large and coloured black.
Somehow the house-elves made the thingy fly straight up, always flying parallel to the steel chain, till the thingy was at the same height above the ground as the red rubber ball. Not below the rubber ball, not above the rubber ball, but beside it, the house-elves claimed. Harry could not see the thingy when it was in darkness and 1 001 feet above the ground, and neither could the house-elves see the thingy, so high up—but all eight house-elves assured Harry that the thingy was in that exact place.
Somehow the house-elves then moved the thingy horizontally, so that it was still 1 001 feet above the ground but now was directly over Nott Manor. (At a height less than 999 feet, attempting to work this step would have crashed the thingy into a wards-wall and the thingy would have been fried. But 1 001 feet up, no wards-wall prevented positioning the thingy directly over Nott Manor.)
All this time, the Snitch wings on the thingy had been fluttering. Now the thingy began a controlled 20-miles-per-hour descent—inside the Nott Manor wards. Meanwhile, Malfoy head house-elf Goldy made the chain drop down and coil itself inside the open wooden box.
Once the thingy began its steady descent, with the thingy's wings flapping the entire time, it took thirty or forty seconds for the thingy to contact the roof of Nott Manor at 20 miles per hour.
As soon as this happened, the black 1 on Harry's parchment turned glowing white.
House-elf magic on the thingy meant that the thingy vanished the part of the roof that the hollow rubber ball or the wings touched—and vanished only what they touched. Seconds later, the thingy was in the attic of Nott Manor without having made a sound, and the roof had a hole in it whose shape had the profile of a much-oversized Snitch.
Now the thingy hovered in the Nott Manor attic and scanned for the presence of a Dark Mark inside the house. Within seconds, the thingy detected the Dark Mark; at this moment, the 2 on Harry's parchment lit up glowing-white.
If the thingy found no Dark Mark inside the house, the thingy would fly up and through the roof, making a second strangely-shaped hole in the roof in the process. This was what had happened at "Selwyn Ancestral" (Selwyn Manor). When that had happened, the thingy, after flying up through and above the roof, had flown through a wards-wall straight to Harry Potter. Then Harry had pulled out the Ian Bond map, had shown the map to the house-elves, and the house-elves had popped themselves, the chain-box, Harry and his ghost-parents to "Selwyn 2." Lord Selwyn had not been detected there either, but he had been detected at "Selwyn 3." Which had turned out to be fatal for Lord Selwyn.
Once the thingy found Thaddeus Nott's Dark Mark, the thingy headed straight for him—by continuing to use its localised-vanishing power, this time on walls or floors—whilst avoiding hitting any other living being in the house.
Once the thingy got close to Thaddeus Nott, at 3am he most likely was lying in bed asleep, and would not know he was under attack till copper nails were pressed against his upper chest and a fatal current passed through his heart.
On Harry's parchment, 1 meant the thingy had touched the roof of the Manor house.
2 meant that the Dark Mark was detected inside the manor house. The thingy began its hunt for Thaddeus Nott.
A minute after 2 lit up, 3 lit up. ("There are no more walls or floors between the thingy and the target; the thingy is in the same room as the target.")
Seconds later (though Harry could not see it), the oversized-Snitch part of the thingy flew over against Thaddeus Nott's chest, then vanished the front half of the hollow rubber ball, leaving the copper nails in front uncovered. The fluttering wings continued to push the rest of the thingy forwards, and the copper nails were pressed against the Death Eater's chest, on either side of his heart. At which time, the capacitor discharged its stored-up electricity—into Thaddeus Nott. An instant later, 4 lit up. ("Target is electrocuted.")
At the same time, 5 lit up. ("No life-signs detected in target.") The unglazed-porcelain disk, the rest of the hollow rubber ball, and the fluttering wings, all vanished themselves; only the electrical contraption remained.
This would leave investigating Aurors with some minor mysteries to think about. ("What is this strange copper thing, how did it kill Lord Nott without magic, and why do the walls and ceilings have strangely-shaped holes in them?")
With a wand-wave, Harry cleared the parchment—which turned all five numbers black again—shoved the status-parchment into his left trouser pocket and pulled Ian Bond's map out of his right trouser pocket.
Helpful Dobby moved the work-lightball and lampshade to float over the map.
"Good job, house-elves," Harry said. "You know the drill, everyone gather round the map." After a pause, Harry stabbed a red square on the map with a finger. "I think we'll hit 'AVERY ANCESTRAL' next."
The lightball and lampshade vanished, then the house-elves, Harry, his ghostly parents and the wooden box with 1 001 feet of chain in it, all popped away.
At 4.04am, at House Parkinson
Peter Parkinson lost his life in bed; the cause of his death came as a shock to him. The House Parkinson wards went into default mode—everyone not named Parkinson was banned in a deadly way—until later in the morning. Late morning was when Caitlyn Parkinson, who was now Regent Parkinson, edited the Ward Ledger.
Caitlyn Parkinson refused to rewrite the name Lord Voldemort into the Ward Ledger. Caitlyn's one-armed daughter Pansy demanded that Caitlyn reinstate the Dark Lord, but Caitlyn held firm.
Whilst all this happened, Voldemort was, fortunately for him, in Russia instead of asleep in House Parkinson—else he would have been expelled when the wards had gone into default mode and would have been nastily ended by the wards.
In Russia, Voldemort was trying to recruit former Durmstrang students into becoming Death Eaters. He was having no luck. He heard no Das but many Nyets; and two different Russians called him Temnyy Proval. When Voldemort demanded a translation, the two Russians laughed in his face instead.
Luckily for Voldemort, when he portkeyed back to Wizarding Britain, he went to Borgin & Burkes instead of to House Parkinson. It was at Borgin & Burkes that House Parkinson's one house-elf, Perky, delivered to the Dark Lord a letter from Caitlyn Parkinson—
"My husband Peter is dead, killed by Harry Potter. I've no wish for Potter to come after me or after Pansy, Heiress Parkinson. As a result, you no longer are welcome to House Parkinson coinage or food, or welcome to a bed here; your name has been crossed out in the Ward Ledger."
Voldemort snarled angrily, then thought, Looks like it's back to Riddle Manor for me. I hate that place.
Anyway, the same day at 5.27am
Back at Potter Manor
The task of assassinating twenty-four Death Eaters was complete. Harry now hugged all eight of his house-elves—as a magical Thank you, and to give each house-elf a much-needed magical recharge. Fortunately, Harry had magic enough that he barely felt the loss of magic to his house-elves.
Harry and his house-elves, as a team, had killed off twenty-four Death Eaters during the night. Harry now was either a mass murderer, or an amazingly effective avenger, take your pick.
Harry had seen thirty Death Eaters in the Little Hangleton graveyard. Barty Crouch, Junior, when questioned under Veritaserum, had confirmed those thirty and had named another nine, not counting himself.
Back on 24 June, Voldemort had had thirty-nine Death Eaters not in Azkaban, plus Barty Crouch, Junior. Crouch had been Kissed after his trial. What had happened with the other thirty-nine Death Eaters?
Harry had duelled and had killed Lucius Malfoy on Platform 9 on 2 July. This killing made Harry become Lord Malfoy.
The next day, 3 July, Harry as Lord Malfoy had upgraded the wards at Malfoy Manor, and had struck out many names from the Malfoy Manor Ward Ledger. This had killed twelve Death Eaters who were in Malfoy Manor at the time. Interestingly, none of the ejected and painfully-killed Death Eaters had been Heads of House, as it turned out. Peter Pettigrew had died then; so had Walden Macnair.
This had left twenty-six Death Eaters alive. Harry had persuaded Crabbe (Senior) and Goyle to leave Britain; this left twenty-four.
All twenty-four had been heads of house. All of them had owned manor houses that were under Fidelius—and thus, they all had had manor houses that were located on Ian Bond's map.
Meanwhile, some of the twenty-four head-of-house Death Eaters, or maybe all of them, had murdered Violet Resshert, Anne Granger and Connie Taylor.
But this early morning, 16 July, those twenty-four head-of-house Death Eaters had themselves been killed, by Harry Potter and by his house-elves. However, if everything had gone according to plan, nobody else had died. No wives had died, no sons had died and no daughters had died.
The only Death Eaters that Tommy had now were the ten who were in Azkaban, plus however-many whom "the Dark Failure" had recruited in the last three weeks—some of whom the DMLE had arrested in the last two days. The way Harry figured it, Voldy didn't have many available followers now, thanks to Harry (and his house-elves) and thanks to Amelia Bones (and her DMLE).
Harry, before he went to bed, wrote a letter and owled it off—
.
16 July 1995
To Barnabas Cuffe, Editor-In-Chief, the Daily Prophet
Yesterday I sent you a copy of the letter that the Dark Failure sent to my Muggle-born girlfriend. In the letter, You Know Damn Well Who informed my girlfriend that his masked minions had killed two Muggle relatives of hers, and had killed a Muggle relative of mine. He Who Must Be Named Tom Marvolo Riddle then threatened to kill my girlfriend's parents. Clearly the reason the Dark Failure wrote the letter was to incite fear.
Of the three Muggles who were family to my girlfriend or to me, who were their killers?
Two days ago, Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore dismissed all charges against twenty-four arrested Death Eaters, merely because they were "prominent citizens." Less than a day after Dumbledore dismissed all charges against those twenty-four Death Eaters, the aforementioned three Muggles were dead, murdered in cold blood by some or all of these twenty-four "prominent citizens."
This morning, I killed all twenty-four Death Eaters whilst they slept. I killed no wives, I killed no children; but the Death Eaters themselves were terminated by electricity (Muggle artificial lightning).
My girlfriend's and my three Muggle relatives are avenged. But also please note, inciting fear works both ways. Lord No-Nose will have a hard time recruiting minions from now on, because potential minions know that they not only have to worry about being killed by the DMLE under Minister Fudge's new rules, but new-recruited Death Eaters also will be terminated by Harry Potter.
You surely want to know how I killed those twenty-four Death Eaters in their own homes and in their own beds. Alas, Barnabas my boy, I must keep my method a secret for the Greater Good (of me).
Harry James Potter
Pissed-off BWL and Head of House Potter
When Harry was about to go to sleep—even as the morning sun was shining—his ghostly parents were with him in his bedroom.
James said, "Son, may we ask you something? Why did you kill the Death Eaters all by yourself? You basically told Frank you would follow him as a war leader, and you do everything with Hermione, but this morning, they weren't here with you."
"They weren't here because they didn't know to be here. I didn't tell them I was doing this."
"Why? Why keep them ignorant of this?"
Harry sighed. "Because there's a good possibility that next Friday"—when the Wizengamot would meet—"I will be put on trial for twenty-four counts of 'Murdering a Pureblood.' If I'm tried for those crimes, it's certain I'll be Kissed. But even if the worst happens to me, Frank and Hermione won't be sent to Azkaban because they didn't do anything, because they didn't know anything."
A minute of silence followed. Harry was almost asleep when a thought occurred to him. Harry's eyes flew open and he looked at his parents.
"Want to know something?" Harry said. "When I first heard the Prophecy, I thought it was ridiculous. But now I believe it."
"Why do you say this?" Lily asked. "I'm sure I don't believe it, and I am half the people who told you the full Prophecy."
"Why? Because the Prophecy starts out, 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches.' It doesn't say 'defeat the Dark Lord,' it doesn't say 'kill,' it says 'vanquish.' But listen, if I Killing-Cursed Voldy, but all his Death Eaters were hale and hearty and preaching his murderous message, would he be vanquished? No. So to 'vanquish' Voldemort, I have to put down all his Death Eaters like rabid dogs, either before or after I kill Voldy himself. You follow me so far?"
"Yes," James replied.
"In the past fortnight, I've killed thirty-seven Death Eaters, starting with Lucius Malfoy, all by myself. Thirty-seven, by just me. No innocent bystanders have been harmed, no Death Eater wives or children have been harmed, and I haven't suffered a scratch. Now consider this: Three weeks ago, all of the minions of Tom Marvolo Riddle, not counting Azkaban Death Eaters, were forty in number. Now thirty-eight of those forty are dead, and I organised the other two to leave Britain. A Dementor took Barty Crouch, Junior, but the rest of the thirty-eight dead Death Eaters were next-great-adventured by me, all whilst I remained unharmed. This is absurd luck, this is ridiculous luck. But I successfully did all this. The explanation how I achieved this has to be that 'The Prophecy made it happen.' "