Getting in the mindset to write the last two chapters was... Kind of awful. It felt completely different from other chapters that had pulled at my heart's strings, and Hikaru's voice is still not where I want it to be, but I don't want to strain myself and write something that I'll end up having to delete and change. So I'll have more character development for this one, back into one of the main points of the fic.
We gotta have our ups for the downs to hit just right, after all.
A part of her really wanted to do it again; just run around Chiba and see if the birds would remain. Let her casually bump onto Hikigaya to talk, privately, and speed up the process of making up after her mistake. Except, Ai knew that his would probably not work. Forcing herself onto him, no matter her intention, would probably bring more misunderstandings after he had asked for some time to think.
Did normal people usually have to go through this? Waiting wasn't something Ai was good at. She didn't like doing things in ways that didn't suit her, so she really needed some distraction while she waited. Because she couldn't be all day with her children, she had to be the bread winner on top of an amazing mom! So, faced with this dilemma, she went ahead and followed Ichigo-san's pace.
"Okay, girls. Next big fashion season is summer, and there are a couple of opportunities for us to promote ourselves here." Ichigo-san gathered all of B-Komachi, Nino included, in his office and laid things down for them. "Now, let's not beat around the bush: Swimsuits, yes or no?"
"Huh?" Ari was the first to react, but the other girls also reacted with different degrees of confusion.
B-Komachi usually stuck to the more wholesome side of the idol industry, even while doing modeling. So, to be faced with this kind of question, it felt a bit too out of the blue even to Ai.
"I'll do anything that is work, yes." Nino was the first to make a clear choice, straightening her back while she spoke. She had been very nervous since she arrived, and almost didn't greet Ai or the others when she made herself comfortable in one of the corners of the room. Only brought closer when Ichigo-san called them to do that. "Ummm… You're not gonna… Cut me out when the magazines publishes or whatever, right?"
"No, you're still a member of B-Komachi on paper." Ichigo-san crossed his arms. "Excluding you like that, regardless of the outcome of the auditions, isn't in our plans."
Nino suck in some air and nodded slowly.
"Okay."
"Girls?" With that said, Ichigo-san regarded the rest of the group. "Meimei, I got in contact with your mother already. But what do you think?"
Meimei wasn't of legal age yet? Huh.
"Ummm, I mean…" The girl looked at the others, more nervous since Ichigo-san talked to her directly. "I don't know…"
"Bikinis are out of question." Ari spoke up, crossing her arms with some annoyance.
"Of course they are." Ichigo-san opened one of the folders on his desk and presented a big plastic-like page filled with pictures of mannequins in swimsuits. Mostly modest ones, filled with frills and skirts, with only one or two being anywhere considered 'revealing' by Ai's standards. "These are the tentative products in display, and I'll push for a more easy-going style anyway. Think sundresses, hats, and beach coverups. We're not changing that."
"No, I mean it." Ari insisted while looking at the pictures. "If it's two pieces, it's probably cutting it too close."
"I see." Ichigo-san nodded. "Any particular reasons?"
"Old-fashioned family." Ari crossed her arms.
"Okay, noted. Do you want to check the proposal all the same?" Ichigo-san asked after a moment of silence. "See if you're comfortable with anything in here?"
"Sure, can do." Ari nodded to herself.
"Can I second her?" Meimei asked with her hand up immediately after.
"Of course." Ichigo-san nodded.
"When was the last time we did this anyway?" Watanabe scoffed. "The conditions that were laid back then, I think, are fine."
"Errrr, like two or three years ago." Ai looked up, pretending to try to recall it with some difficulty.
After giving birth to the twins, Ichigo-san had made sure to bring Ai back in full swing. And doing some modeling for the summer season said "young, healthy, and totally not a mother of two!" like very little else did. That had been the least demure modeling Ai made done, and it hadn't been that bad. She did get people to go for a poster of her floating on a huge donut with a skimpy bikini now and then, but the big-ass hat and see-through skirt made it okay.
At least, she thought, she wouldn't mind it if the twins saw that picture when they grew up. So, that probably meant that it was a-okay.
Not that she had understood the others' embarrassment when they saw her without the skirt to begin with, but Ai had followed Ichigo-san's instructions.
He knew what he was doing, after all.
"Ah, yeah. We needed parental approval." Watanabe nodded.
"Hehe… Babies." Kyun chuckled to herself. "Are we gonna go to shoot at the beach?"
"Errr…" Ichigo-san frowned for a moment, studying everyone's expression while thinking. "That… Might be on the table."
"Eh… I don't wanna go somewhere to stand around all day!" Kyun complained the moment that Ichigo-san said that.
"Damn it. Wrong answer, huh."
"No, but in all seriousness. Sounds fun." Kyun gave him a double thumbs up, letting the man breathe more calmly.
"We're not gonna fly to the other side of Japan, are we?" Takamine, who had been deep in thought thus far, raised her gaze and asked.
"No, of course not. This will be wrapped up before summer vacations, so we'll keep everyone from intervening in their schedules too much."
"Okay, ummm…" Takamine looked down, hands intertwined in front of her. "I'll get back to you on this one, I have to check with my family."
"Fair enough." Ichigo-san nodded before spreading the big pages with the pictures all over his desk. "Okay, last time I reunited with your tutors and discussed the samples. So, check them out and hold onto your ideas, questions, or complaints. We get to an internal agreement so that I know what things to negotiate and when to schedule. Remember, this is strictly B-Komachi business. If we don't get to an agreement, we can discuss this further individually. Okay?"
"So, like, we take these home or…?" Takamine asked when she saw Ichigo-san stand up.
"Hmmm, would you have a bit to discuss now?" The man asked back.
The girls looked at each other for a moment.
"A first impression-discussion wouldn't hurt." Ai spoke up when she felt that they were taking a bit too long to decide.
The vibe in the room changed a bit.
"Ai-chan's right, of course." Nino mumbled without looking at anyone in particular.
"I'd actually like that." Takamine clapped her hands together. "Gives me something concrete to explain when I get home."
"That's… Yeah, that's a good call." Ari tilted her head. "We probably should."
"Alright, great." Ichigo-san checked his watch, shaking his head with some annoyance before leaving his place. "Can I get an answer tomorrow? At least of what the best possible scenario looks like to you all."
"Isn't it a bit too quick?" Takamine asked, more curious than nervous now.
"This is all preemptive. It's the same company from last time, back when we were struggling to get back on our feet and which I've had dealt with every other year." Ichigo-san fixed his sunglasses, probably thinking that he looked cool like that. "This is business as usual plus the specifics of working with idols; plus any other offers that come our way."
"I see…?" Was the girl's answer. She looked back at Ai, for some reason, still a bit worried. But Ai kind of just stared back with a blank smile. Not really knowing what she wanted.
"Look, you're B-Komachi. The specifics won't change just because it's a bigger brand, that'd hurt your image." Ichigo-san clicked his tongue.
"Some people just can't be bothered to know that beforehand." Ai added, giving Ichigo-san a glance. Remembering a few conversations that they had while Ai was tagging along for the discussions and negotiations, back when she didn't have her babies.
It had been a while, huh.
"Correct." Of course, Ichigo-san nodded. Ai knew her own business, after all.
"Uuuummmm… My answer won't change or anything, so…" Nino spoke up again, looking around to the idols… Could she still be considered one? Before facing Ichigo-san again. "Can I still tag along or…?"
"As you see fit." Ichigo-san shrugged. "You're here exclusively on the grounds of this modeling opportunity. In fact, there won't be any more practices today."
"Oh!" Kyun cheered from her spot of the room.
"…I see." Nino stared down at her feet, looking like she wasn't going to keep talking.
"So, I'll leave this to you. I think we covered everything now?" Ichigo-san looked at the others before resting his gaze on Ai herself.
She simply shook her head.
"I don't know." Ari frowned.
"Well, if there's anything… I'll go take a smoke." He fixed his sunglasses again, looking a bit tense. "I'll leave you girls to discuss your point of view, so take your time."
"Ah." It looked like Meimei was the first to realize something, as the others looked at her with some confusion when she spoke up. "Thanks."
"It's your job opportunity." Was all that Ichigo-san said before leaving the office.
"How considerate." Watanabe scoffed with some tiredness. "So, what now?"
"Check the pictures, discuss… Stuff like that." Ai replied while she quickly waltzed to Ichigo-san's chair, plopping on the spot before she checked beneath the desk. Looking for the candy container that she knew that Ichigo-san had hidden from Miyako-san in there.
"Isn't this, like, kind of pointless?" Watanabe's tone sounded odd to Ai, so she raised her gaze from her bent down position; chin almost touching the desk. The other girls looked kind of uncomfortable. "Isn't this decision already set?"
Ai blinked a couple of times and grabbed the container before sitting up.
"If he asked us, then I don't think so." She replied before popping an orange candy in her mouth.
Watanabe didn't seem to like that answer.
"You know what I mean."
Ai stared at the others, looking for some context she was lacking. Meimei was acting dumb, and Takamine looked away when Ai stared at her. Only Nino had her gaze trained on Ai.
"I don't think I do." She confessed after seeing Ari and Kyun exchange a glance, and reminding herself what had worked out when they hung out on their way to Chiba.
"She's asking if Ichigo-san didn't already discuss this with you." Ari added with a sigh.
Ah!
"Oh, yeah." Ai nodded.
"That's what I thought." Watanabe sounded disappointed… Right, Ai should probably add something here! "Then what are we—"
"The other day we were having dinner, and he was like 'Hey, are you up for some modeling?' and I was like 'Eh? No concerts yet?' but he insisted that he was checking that, so after returning to the main question I was like 'Fine'. So, yes. We discussed it."
Of all the girls, perhaps Kyun and Nino were the ones that showed the most emotion in their reactions. Kyun was doubling over on one of the couches, covering her face with one hand while her shoulder silently shook and her other arm rested on her belly. While Nino had her mouth open, like Ai was saying complete nonsense. But, like, in a galactic level sort of way.
What was that called? Space horror? Gotanda-san had told her a bit of some genres, but Ai couldn't remember it that well.
"That's… Ummm…" Meimei scratched the side of her face, not really knowing what to say. "Technically what Wata-chan said, yeah."
"Technically correct." Ari scoffed to herself. "The best kind of correct."
"Yeah, is there a problem with that?" Ai didn't really understand the reaction. She had told Nino about her ties with the Saitou couple. So, like, Ai kind of expected that information to leak out. It had been difficult to let go even this small piece of her life, to release it into the wild. But it had felt good in the end, and she sort of expected everyone to have it present in their hearts.
So, like, what was going on?
"That's totally not what I was talking about!" Watanabe was completely red in the face now, and yelled at Ari before snapping her face toward the still-shaking Kyun. "Stop laughing!"
"She's really not going to understand if you don't speak clearly." Ari made a face toward Watanabe, shaking her head with even more disappointment. "Ai, she meant to imply that you had privately come to an agreement with Ichigo-san before today."
"Oh." Ai tilted her head.
"Well, it was kinda that. Or that's what I understood." Meimei pointed out. "If you think about it, wouldn't the boss have turned to offer down if Ai-chan said 'no'?"
"I didn't mean it like that." Ai lowered her face to try to hide her expression a bit. She had explained herself, why were there still misunderstandings?! "I mean to say 'fine, I'll let it slide'. Not 'fine, I'll take this offer'. I don't actually remember the whole conversation."
"Let what slide?" Watanabe furrowed her brows.
"The lack of concerts, I think." Takamine interjected.
"Yeah." Ai nodded.
"…Oh." Watanabe looked away with a pout. "Should've said that, then."
Ai touched the side of her head with her fingers put together, like she was making shields with them, and showed her hands a moment later. Sort of like a cute "tehee~" movement but without changing her expression.
"I don't know why you didn't understand."
"Oh, please. You've never been that open about stuff. You suck at this." Watanabe crossed her arms, annoyed.
Ai sighed and simply brought out a smile.
"Know what? It's fine! We're clear about this, and that's what matters!"
"Are you angry?" Ari had the strange idea of asking that now.
"No." Was all Ai said in return.
Ari exchanged a look with Meimei.
"Told you." Said the green-haired idol.
"I see what you meant…"
Well, at least Ai could keep her mind busy until the time to get back to her children arrived. Plus, she did keep some stuff to herself.
Like the fact that she asked Ichigo-san for this "girls' time" so that Ai could have a topic of conversation that she felt comfortable with. She didn't have time for getting mad, there were people to get to know better!
"Okay, girls. Let's get to it." Takamine clapped a couple of times, getting closer to the desk and the pictures.
"Yeah, let's go home early today as well!" Kyun got to her feet and brushed past Nino, winking at her while at it. "Everything alright?"
"Y-Yeah…" Nino followed her before Takamine could urge her forward. "Everything's fine."
That didn't sound right, but Ai didn't press the issue. She wanted to set the proper mood, so she had to devote all of her mind for this.
That always felt good at the end of the day, feeling like she did something.
"Okay, so, on the topic of Ichigo-san." Ai clapped her hands together, hyping herself up to do this 'performance'. "I'm going in as blind as you, but I still think we should do this. So, let's cover the main bases first. Like Ari's thing, for example."
"I'll get disinherited if my tummy and thighs appear on a magazine." Ari slumped on one of the corners of the desk, letting out a deep sigh. "Never mind any cleavage, I'd probably get… Y'know, in deep trouble."
She seemed to have stopped in her tracks when she noticed what she was about to say. And Ai didn't know whether to be grateful, annoyed, or something in between. So she just nodded along to acknowledge her words and hummed.
"Aren't you of age already?" It looked like that was an acceptable question here, and Ai could always spin it around if she was caught not knowing her fellow idols' ages. So she felt comfortable asking.
"I know! But that's apparently not enough! Guess that's what I get for still living with my parents."
"Yep." Kyun popped her lips without even looking at Ari.
"Yeah." Meimei mirrored Kyun's uninterested expression while sharing the pictures with her.
"Oh, jeez. Thanks, girls."
"I mean, sometimes there's no other choice…" Nino murmured.
"Isn't it a bit lonely, though? Takamine asked while eyeing Watanabe. Pointing at her to get closer and actually do the inspection too.
"Nah, not when they're insufferable." Kyun shrugged. "Like, it's not even about having bad parents. Sometimes you just… Don't vibe with their lifestyle and have to bail, y'know."
"But they raised you?" Takamine insisted.
"And I'm very grateful for that." Kyun actually turned to face Takamine and placed her hands together, like she was praying. "With that said, if I have to hear that I wasted my time not going to college and getting my choice of wardrobe picked on again, I might just lose it."
"You'll always be a kid in your mom's eyes." Meimei commented.
"And dad too." Kyun replied.
"And let's not talk about dads." Ari said her piece at the same time.
Guess everyone had their own experience with their father, huh.
"Y'know, I never thought about this. But things like this were always pretty well depurated." Kyun showed everyone the page she had at hand, one with several sun dresses. "Guess we know someone has a good dad, now."
"…?" Ai puckered up her lips when the stares turned up to her and showed them the candies. "Do y'all want some?"
"That's…" Watanabe looked away again. "Kinda lame, not gonna lie."
"Nah, it's kinda cute." Kyun shook her head with a smile.
"It's not like that." Ai protested weakly, not really knowing what else to say.
"Weren't you spitting venom about parents just now?" Meimei gave her a pointed look, getting her hands on her hips.
"Hey, that's a 'me' thing. If you're a daddy's girl, then all the power to you, bestie." Kyun scoffed, like Meimei was saying something way too funny. "And if it makes things easier for us, all the better. Let's celebrate family bonds and stuff."
That caught Ai's attention.
"What do you mean?"
Kyun glanced at Ai with an even expression, her previous cheer all but erased. Making Ai feel a little trepidation inside, as all of her deepest secrets had to do with her family.
It took the girl a moment to open her mouth, and a bit more time for her to actually speak.
"…Back when the Tokyo Dome concert was cancelled, I looked up our expectations. The idol industry can get… Very ridiculous pretty fast, and that little incident made me realize that I was living completely isolated in Tokyo, with no way of having someone have my back in an emergency." Kyun might've been the oldest of the group, and her voice might've been even cuter than Ai's. Almost like that of a child. But when she explained herself, there was a maturity that Ai hadn't realized was there in spite of her tone. It got the other girls to listen and, in spite of their own hangups, to keep them listening instead of interrupting. "But then… Things mostly returned to normal? And it was weird, worrying, and pretty unnatural. You acted like nothing had happened, or tried to, and management didn't seem to change much. Tighter regulations and stuff but… Nothing changed."
Ai blinked, still somewhat on edge but no longer worried. She didn't recognize the reason at first, but the topic itself was quite heavy. If Kyun kept talking, Ai would be brought back to that place. To that door, to that scene. And Ai didn't want to relieve that.
Kyun's chuckle brought the frailest, loneliest idol in the world back to the present.
"It's funny, really. When Nino told us what happened, I felt glad. It made sense, things that bothered me even before made sense." Kyun smiled with some fondness at Ai, although there was an edge that she had seen before. A hurt that Ai could recognize like a second nature, like she had recognized something similar in Hikaru all those years back. Present, but there. "So I decided hey, if we have the boss' kid on our side, then we'll have it easy as long as we keep playing our part. Right? So, I think we might as well have fun. If you're here, Ai-chan, then we probably have to worry a lot less than if we were in the clutches of an actually shady boss."
Ai… Ai didn't really know what to say. It sounded to her like Kyun was asking her to carry a burden that Ai hadn't realized was there.
No.
It felt like she was being asked to go back and take a step back, to go the her "corner" that she had been forced into since the beginning.
She didn't want that.
"Ai-chan is B-Komachi, after all." Nino added with the same finality that Ai felt in her heart.
"Yeah, but is it that bad? We can tag along for the ride, save up, and graduate with dignity." Kyun smirked at Nino, making Ai open her eyes and keep staring at her.
When did she close them?
"Speak for yourself." Nino looked away, still acting very… Odd.
"Another guy would've just fired you on the spot." Kyun pointed out. "I suggest you take the opportunities granted to you."
"But it's not what I want."
"But it's what is available." Kyun shook her head with another smug scoff. "Girls, this is a job! Like a cashier in a coffee shop, like truck driver, like a digital designer. It's just a job! And it seems like we all forgot about that."
Kyun looked at Ai, still smiling in the same way.
"Some of us might think that being an idol means something different. But, at the end of the day, we're still here for the money. Most of us." She made a finger gun at Ari, and the green-haired idol just looked away with annoyance on her face. "So let's be grateful that we have it easy, see things as they are, and try not to mess up so badly that we have a repeat of Ai-chan's situation! That's all! That's all there is to it, we basically have it in the bag."
The looks between the girls didn't really tell Ai much of what they were thinking. And, to be honest, not even Ai knew what to think about Kyun's words.
"Let's take it easy while we can. Let's all scoff at the annoying things and have fun today as well."
The smoke was annoying: It both restricted Ai's vision when she had to squint to avoid her eyes burning, and it smelled awful. Even though she had grown used to it, she still had some difficulties dealing with being around smoking people. Not enough to show it, maybe. But it was still pretty uncomfortable.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Ichigo-san turned to face Ai, looking kind of weirded out by her sudden appearance. "I thought you wanted some alone time with the girls?"
"They started talking about some stuff, and I needed to retreat." Ai shrugged while walking up to Ichigo-san and resting her back on the wall like he was doing.
"Eh? Since when did you grow to feel embarrassment? I thought you didn't have it in you."
"What?" Ai didn't understand his words. How would talking make Ai embarrassed? Was smoking affecting his brain? "No, I just couldn't adapt. I needed to think, order my thoughts."
"Ah, bummer." Ichigo-san clicked his tongue before reaching out to the window beside him and scrapping the butt of his cigar to get the ashes to fall to the floor below. On the street. "Then?"
Someone would have to swipe that, but Ai suspected that Ichigo-san did not care about that.
"I was thinking… How likely do you think that the Hikigaya would accept to participate?"
"Komachi-san has turned down every gig I offered since then." Ichigo-san sighed. They had already talked about this, but Ai thought that having a better idea of what they were going to do would make this conversation smoother. "Now, they were small jobs. But I think she really meant it when she said it'd be a one-off thing."
"But I'm gonna be there." Ai pointed out. "Maybe that'd be encouraging?"
"Hah!"
"I'm serious!"
"Wouldn't hurt to ask, I guess." Ichigo-san took another drag, giving himself time to think. He opened his mouth, and a ring of smoke came out.
That was… Kind of cool, actually. Probably meant that Ichigo-san had spent way too much time smoking, but it still was kind of cool.
"That'd be enough." Ai smiled a bit, which made Ichigo-san click his tongue for some reason.
"This shameless girl… Don't try to act demure after coming in so confidently. I'll trace a proposal, but that could also get rejected from the other side."
"Still worth trying!" Ai clapped her hands together. "I have a feel that she has potential, after all."
"Oh? Since when did you have such a good eye for people?"
"Well, didn't you say that too?"
"Yes, but I actually have that talent." Ichigo-san used the same tone as Ai had a moment ago.
Ai pouted a bit.
"Well, you did scout me. So I'll give you that."
"You're an adult now, Ai. Isn't it time that you stopped acting so bratty?"
"It's just the truth~" Ai puffed her chest with confidence. "I'm fantastic at what I do. The best, even."
"And who taught you everything that you know?" Ichigo-san showed her his teeth, the corners of his mouth turning up with irritation.
Ai had left the room for a bit exactly because of this topic. So, to be faced with it here, made her drop the mood and answer honestly.
"You did."
"Damn right I did." Ichigo-san reached out, still without leaving the spot, and took Ai's shoulder. Pulling her closer to him in a half-hug. "And you exceeded even my biggest expectations. I'm really proud of you."
Ai allowed herself to be hugged, placing her hands on his side without really knowing what to do with them.
"I am special, after all…" Ai tried to get some initiative back, but her voice came out smile.
"One of a kind." Ichigo-san agreed without a hint of doubt.
Uh… What now? She should probably go back sooner rather than later but…
This was kind of nice, actually.