A/N: Finally, here is an addition to this anthology that wasn't entirely recycled from any previous Sharuby Saga installment. Although, once again, the idea for this little skit has been in the back of my mind for about a couple of years… at least since Albertson and I wrote our first holiday special collaboration.
Holidays are not only the most wonderful time of the year, they also can be the most tiresome. The Tannenbaum family –Dr. Daniel, his wife Candice, and their teenage daughter Shannon- had just returned from spending over a week out of state with extended family celebrating their biggest holiday of the year: Hanukkah. Because of the distance among some of the family, they would alternate whose household at which their annual celebration would be hosted, and this was one of the years in which other branches of the family would travel to the state of Wisconsin, where they would be welcomed by Candice's brother and sister-in-law, Uncle Josh and Aunt Lydia, as well as their-now thirteen-year-old twins, Seth and Chessa. Daniel, Candice, and Shannon were exhausted by the time the airport shuttle finally dropped them off at their modest apartment in Royal Woods, Michigan. It was years such as this that made them thankful that they were not the ones hosting Hanukkah, as their apartment was becoming too small to accommodate their ever-growing family (especially in recent years, as Daniel's brother and sister-in-law, Uncle David and Aunt Catherine, welcomed the newest additions to the family, Kimberley and Lewis), which was one of the reasons why Daniel and Candice had been having some serious discussions about moving into a bigger house in the foreseeable future.
Even with the festivities behind them, there still was work to be done; namely, the taking down and storing of their decorations. Yes, even a holiday such as Hanukkah had been secularized over the years, in no short part of modern Jewish children being jealous of their friends and peers who decorate for Christmas. By mid-afternoon, the Menorahs, the blue and white lights, the Dreidels, and other miscellaneous pieces of décor had been safely packed away into their respective totes, as Shannon proceeded to transport them down to their miniature storage unit, while unaware of the mysterious silhouetted small figure who skulked about the stairwell as she made multiple trips from their apartment to their storage unit. By the time she made her final trip, Shannon wished that their apartment was on the ground floor; she did not think she would be able to climb three flights of metal stairs one more time. This time, however, when she returned to her family's third-floor apartment, she took notice of a package that was wrapped white paper that featured a design of numerous blue Stars of David, sealed with golden ribbon, and had a label affixed to its top which read in bright purple ink, 'To: Shannon, From: Ruby.' The smile that took hold of Shannon's face was as warm as the tinge of pink that flushed her freckled cheeks to have received a late Hanukkah present from her girlfriend. She took hold of the package and stepped back into their apartment, but was met with an unexpected fate.
"What'cha got there, Shanny?" Her mother, Candice, asked before she took hold of the package and examined it for herself, including the label. "Oh, a Hanukkah present from your little bestie, Ruby? Open it! Let's see what she got you!"
As the gift was returned to its recipient, Shannon could only stutter and stammer in fear; no doubt whatever Ruby gifted her was most likely romantic in nature that could very well reveal to her unknowing parents that she was more than just her best friend. Luckily for Shannon, her father, Daniel, was also in the living room at that moment, engaged in a phone conversation that he was about to pass along to his wife.
"Candi? Bro call for you," he spoke up as he extended his hand with which he held their landline phone to put his wife on with her brother.
"Ugh, we just got back today… what does that clown want now?" She playfully whined.
As Candice broke away to speak with her brother over the phone, Shannon broke away for her bedroom, shutting the door behind her, and breathing a sigh of relief to have given her parents the slip. Quickly, she undid the ribbon, ripped away the wrapping paper, and opened the package. It was a good thing she didn't open this gift in front of her parents, for the content of said gift turned out to be a rather sizable heart-shaped box full of chocolates, with the words, 'Sweets for my sweetheart' printed on the lid. Clearly, Ruby did not skimp, either, as Shannon could tell that this was one of those more expensive boxes of chocolates. Also slipped into the package was a note that was hand-written with that same bright purple ink, which Shannon read…
Dear Shans,
Can you beleive the stores are already selling Valentine's stuff and Xmas isn't even over yet? I thought I could kill 2 birds with 1 stone and get you a late Hanaka/early Valentine's Day combo present.
Can't wait to see you again at school!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!
Love,
Rubes!
The paper also had numerous little hearts scribbled and doodled all over, of which a love-struck Shannon kissed each and every single one; an objective opinion, to be sure, but she was of the belief that she had the best girlfriend in the world.
Shannon took a peek into the heart-shaped box to see the assortment of chocolates contained within, the sight of which was enough to elevate her serotonin levels. After resealing her gift, she slipped it and the letter underneath her pillow, and proceeded to break down the box it was delivered in, as well as discard the ribbon and wrapping paper into her waste basket – and just in time, too, for at that moment, a light tapping was heard at her door before her father poked his head into the room.
"Shannon? Come on, darling, let's go get some Chinese."
With this day coincidentally being Christmas Eve that also meant the observance of another customary Jewish tradition: going out for Chinese food for Christmas. Pan-Pan Palace in Royal Woods, a family-friendly Chinese buffet, the mascot of which was a Chibi-esque panda named Pan-Pan, saw booming business among local Jews during Christmastime; it wasn't even uncommon for the Tannenbaums to run into the Steins during such outings, though Shannon was a little disappointed to not see any of them, let alone one of her best friends, Benny, this time. The entire restaurant staff was very much familiar with the Tannenbaum clan; they very much liked Dr. Daniel and his wife, Candice, and they especially adored their charming daughter, Shannon; after so many years of visiting such an establishment during the holidays, the staff always treated the Tannenbaums (as well as the other Jewish customers) like family. Sometime after the three had sat down at their table and dined on the food from the buffet they filled their trays with, Candice suddenly remembered a specific detail from earlier that she was curious to learn more about.
"So, Shanny, what was your present from Ruby?" She asked.
Shannon could have bitten her tongue to be reminded of such, but at least she could easily throw her parents off the trail…
"Oh, it was just a box of chocolate. Ever since I told her that chocolate is a popular gift item to give for Hanukkah, it seems to have really taken with her," explained Shannon. Other than omitting the detail that the box was heart-shaped and actually doubled as a Valentine, that was not at all a lie; Shannon so hated lying, especially to her parents, but she still had yet to reveal the true nature of her relationship with Ruby to them. At least, she was pretty sure it had yet to be revealed…
"Well, that was very thoughtful of her," said Daniel.
"Oh, yes; she's a keeper," agreed Candice.
Shannon almost choked on the shrimp Rangoon she just popped into her mouth (outside of their high holidays, she and her parents usually did not keep Kosher, for which she was glad, as she loved shrimp) when she heard her mother make such a remark.
"A… keeper…?" She asked.
"Sure… as far as besties go, I would say Ruby is definitely a keeper," gushed Candice.
"Oh! Right! Bestie, right!" Shannon responded with a nervous chuckle. "Yeah… Ruby sure is a keeper…"
As were the heart-shaped box and hand-written letter she received from Ruby. Shannon thought on it, and realized how amusing it was to her that Ruby, evidently, knew not how to spell Hanukkah… little did she know just what a mental dilemma Ruby endured over that…
As Ruby sat in her bedroom writing out the letter to include in her present to her beloved Jewish girlfriend, the Indian teen was unsure exactly how to spell Hanukkah. Undeterred, she merely grabbed her nearby cell phone and verbally submitted her request to know.
"Hey, Google, how do you spell, 'Hanukkah'?"
If Ruby was at a loss before, the results she received only further veered her off course, as she came to discover that this was one word that had multiple different spellings… and she had no idea as to which of these spellings was the correct one – according to the internet as a whole, or even her girlfriend specifically. Just trying to figure it out proved to be very frustrating… a frustration Ruby expressed in song as she looked over the results on her phone…
Is it with a 'C' or 'H,' I am confused…
What about those 'N's and 'K's, do you use one or two?
I remember one day when I was at school,
a Spanish kid told me that it starts with a silent 'J'
But, Julio was wrong
or maybe he was right
Can someone deciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide?
Make up your miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind
Tried Google and Alexa, is there an answer to my question?
Can someone please help me, just tell me
how do you spell Channukkahh?
This mental stress brought another recent memory back to Ruby's mind…
I was watching a spelling bee on YoohooTube
and these kids were spelling words that don't come naturally to me or you, like…
Oligarchy
Solipsism
Bouillabaisse
Epistemology
Insouciant
Onomatopoeia
Syllogism
Perspicacious
Hypothalamus
And there was another one…
HOT DOG!
No…
Antidisestablishmentarianism…
Man, I am, like, so hungry for a hot dog now…
(Ruby had no idea how to spell any of these other words, either; she just recalled each and every one of them phonetically.)
But I bet they would get stumped if they had to spell Channukkahh…
No one can tell
I don't mean to dwell
but how do you speellllllll…
Tried Google and Alexa, is there an answer to my question?
Someone please tell me how do you spell…
Ask teachers, ask family, nobody ever knows the answer
someone please help me, just tell me
How do you spell Channukkahh?
Finally, Ruby just gave up and wrote it down the way it was phonetically pronounced. She really did not want to seem as though she was clueless about her girlfriend's faith or the holidays she celebrated, but at the same time, Shannon also didn't really strike her as being an officer in the grammar or spelling police force like she knew some fanfiction authors to be. Besides, as the old saying always state, it's the thought that counts, right? She hoped so. Either way, she also hoped that her girlfriend would enjoy receiving a big heart-shaped box of chocolates as a late Hanukkah/early Valentine's Day present. With that, she slipped her letter and the box of chocolates into another package that she then wrapped in Hanukkah wrapping paper, tied it off with a gold ribbon, and addressed the label she affixed to it before she made her way over to the Tannenbaum apartment.
"Happy Hanukkah-slash-Valentine's Day, my dearly beloved sweet blintz…" she said to the package in her hands.
Much like Ruby, I decided to kill two birds with one stone in this one as well. The idea of Ruby not-so-anonymously leaving a Hanukkah present on Shannon's doorstep was an idea I had for a while, but after hearing the song How Do You Spell Channukkahh? by the LeeVees, I figured a fun way I could apply it into something of a songfic for somebody unfamiliar with how to spell the word, like Ruby probably would be. As for myself, 'Hanukkah' was the spelling I learned back in middle school when my best friend at the time was Jewish.