It was quiet, far too quiet. Minako didn't know why it was quiet, and she hated it. Minako wasn't blind; she could see the guilt written all across Makoto's face. Something had happened, hadn't it? Something had happened right under Minako's nose, and she hadn't even done anything to stop it. She hadn't been there, and even if she had, what could she have done? Minako was stuck and useless at the moment. She couldn't transform. What was she supposed to do?
It was just the four of them sitting together on the steps silently. Usagi wasn't here. That's why, deep down, Minako knew something had happened to her. Nobody dared to say anything; they could only wait for Makoto to speak. To learn what had happened. Minako watched Makoto carefully, watching as her friend fidgeted; the guilt on her face looked like it would consume her. All she could surmise was that this was about the enemy, and something had happened to Usagi while Minako was useless. She couldn't transform. She was useless. Minako, Venus, the supposed leader, was useless. It was still quiet, and Minako still hated it.
Time passed, and Minako wasn't sure how much; it didn't matter anyway. Before Makoto spoke, "So…I found out about our enemy…" Makoto spoke, and Minako could hear the way her voice wavered as she spoke. She watched as her friend, her teammate, swallowed, seemingly stealing herself. "Our enemy, the Dead Moon Circus…is ruled by Queen Nehelenia, and she is apparently an old enemy of the Silver Millenium." Minako listened intently even as Makoto paused, seemingly steeling herself yet again. "Her darkness has spread to the very heart of this planet called Elysion, and she's cursed its priest. The only way to get rid of the Darkness is the Golden Crystal, yet its location is unknown."
Makoto paused yet again, and Minako noticed the way Makoto's hands curled into fists and shook slightly. Minako was worried about her friend and the news they were about to receive. "The priest's curse has caused a black rose to grow in his chest, and it has spread to Endymion, and…our Princess, the same rose has started to sprout in her chest. If nothing is done, she's going to…Usagi's…going to die." Minako felt her heart drop as Makoto finished speaking. Fear's ice-cold claws grabbed hold of her. No, no, no. This couldn't happen. That couldn't happen. There had to be something that could be done. Things couldn't end like this. Why, of all times, could she not transform? Why, now, of all times, did she have to be useless? It was silent again, yet this time, the silence felt so much heavier than before.
It was quiet for another moment longer, "Well…we can't give up." Ami spoke, though her voice shook considerably, Minako noted. "We have to find the Golden Crystal and save the Earth; it's Prince and Usagi." After another pause, Minako knew that Ami couldn't be taking the news well either, yet here she was, trying to think of what could be done. Yet Minako, their leader, couldn't do that. "After all, that's our job, isn't it? To protect her, our Princess."
Minako didn't have much time to ponder those words or the way Ami was forcing herself to push through before Rei spoke up, "You're right. From now on, the five of us will have to fight for Usagi. It's not going to be easy either. When I lost my ability to transform, the enemy tested me. Yet when I needed it most, Phobos and Demos were there for me, giving me the power to transform again. It was similar for you guys, right?" Minako paused at Rei's words and listened to her other friends agreeing with what had been spoken. Was she the only one who couldn't transform?
"What about Usagi then? She isn't doing very well." Makoto spoke, sounding much more confident than before and giving Minako no time to think about the fact that she apparently was the only one who couldn't transform.
"I think we should leave that to Haruka and Michiru…I think she needs them to be there more than us. At the moment." Ami spoke, her voice sounding a bit distant. Yet Minako barely processed those words. Only one thought was stuck in her mind.
She was the only one who couldn't transform, wasn't she?
_
It was the same every night; each time she tried this, standing only on her balcony, her arm raised in the air. No matter how many times she would yell, 'Venus Planet Power Make Up,' nothing would happen. There would be no flash of light, and she wouldn't become Venus like she was supposed to like she needed to. She would just be left out there with the wind blowing through her hair, still nothing but plain old Minako. The girl had a bit of an obsession with idols, so much so that she wished to become one, yet she didn't do the best in school. No matter how many times she tried, she wouldn't become Venus, who she needed to be. They needed the leader because right now, they didn't need Minako; they needed Venus. She wondered if anybody had ever really needed Minako.
Minako sighed before turning, sliding open the glass door, and walking back into her room feeling dejected. Artemis sat on her bed, and so did Luna; why Luna was there? Minako really didn't know. Maybe the black cat had decided to give Usagi some space. Whatever she supposed, Minako couldn't care less about why Luna was here right now or how the black cat even got into her bedroom, for that matter. She was more focused on why she couldn't transform into Venus, the person everyone needed, and instead, she was stuck as Minako. "Cheer up, Mina! The others said they felt a strong surge of power before transforming, so it's sure to happen to you soon! You are the leader, though, so it probably should have happened first…but better late than never!" Artemis spoke up from his spot on her bed. Minako resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Artemis' words before she stood up from where she had sat, her knees close to her chest.
"Yeah, you're right, Artemis. I'm probably just overthinking it." Minako spoke half-heartedly, knowing she didn't believe the words coming out of her mouth at all, making them simply lies. Minako lazily grabbed a towel before turning back to the two cats on the bed, no real emotion showing on her face, "Whatever, I'm going to go shower."
Minako stared at herself, her face, her hair, her eyes, her body, in the bathroom mirror. She didn't feel pretty. Yet wasn't that what she was supposed to be pretty? The shower ran in the background, and she could hear the water as it fell. Minako focused on it, trying to distract her mind from her thoughts, listening to the water as it fell—drip, drip, drip, drip.
It didn't help much; she didn't feel pretty or like the leader she was supposed to be. She didn't even know why she was the leader anymore. Surely Usagi had gotten to the point where she could take on that role? Minako didn't know; she just didn't know she didn't feel pretty like she had been back then in her previous life, the Princess of Venus, the Senshi of Venus, the Goddess of Beauty. She didn't feel like any of those things because she wasn't; she was just Minako, and nobody needed Minako. Minako sighed, turning away from the mirror and stepping into the shower. Part of her knew she was being ridiculous. She was Venus just as she was Minako, and she understood that, of course. She was still the Princess of Venus, the Senshi of Venus, and the Goddess of Beauty; she had simply been reincarnated on Earth. Minako knew because she had lived it once that she looked identical to Venus back then when she was a teenager, from her blonde hair and blue eyes to her skin tone. They looked identical. Such were the ways of reincarnation, she supposed.
Yet, at the same time, she wasn't that Venus; she was simply Minako. Though she remembered nearly everything of that life, it didn't change the fact that she was Minako. That's actually how she knew she wasn't her, not really. It was only in name. The Venus of back then would have never struggled in school or wasted her time on things like idols and dreams of becoming one. Such things had been worthless to her as she had pledged her very existence to protecting her Princess. The old Venus would probably reprimand Minako for wasting her time on such things, and Minako could see the reason for it, as wasting her time on things like that would only lead to tragedy. Not that it hadn't ended in tragedy back then.
Maybe there was one similarity between her and Venus back then. They both indulged their Princess, even when that Princess broke the rules and constantly snuck to Earth, falling in love with the Earth's Prince. While she did scold her Princess, she never truly put her foot down like she should've because all she had ever wanted was to see her Princess happy. Her Princess, who back then had a pale complexion and hair white like the snow that fell on Earth and the symbol of a crescent moon on her forehead, and those blue eyes, a shade that could never be found on Earth, ended up dead. She had ended up killing herself, running a sword through her chest when her Prince was killed. Back the Venus had failed. She had failed to protect her. Minako remembered when she, no Venus, had stumbled upon the body. At that point, she hadn't been far from Death's embrace herself, though she might have survived—there had been a chance. Yet the moment she had seen her Princess' body dead and cold, lying atop the Prince with a sword piercing her heart, she had simply given up—well, Venus had. Given up on living entirely, on surviving, she had run into the mob with her sword, fighting recklessly until she was killed. All she—Venus had hoped back then was to be reborn alongside her Princess.
That wish had come true.
Now, her Princess, who had been born again—this time with blonde hair and those same blue eyes, was headed for the same fate—the cold embrace of death. How was she supposed to stop that from happening? Her, Minako, is supposed to stop what she—the original Venus could not? Venus, who had dedicated her life to protecting her Princess, had failed. So how was she supposed to save her now this time? When she had become someone so different from then, she had been back then. She had become Aino Minako, the high school girl who wasn't the brightest and had an obsession with idols. Nobody really needed Minako; Ace hadn't, the girls didn't, and her Princess especially didn't.
What was she supposed to do? When she was useless and couldn't transform? Minako sighed; she didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to save her Princess when her Princess was already dying? Minako couldn't, and she couldn't lose her again. She couldn't fail again.
Her Princess was dying, and she couldn't do anything because she couldn't transform, nor could she be the Venus from back then. The Venus everyone needed.
She was just Minako, a useless high school girl nobody needed.
_
Usagi was here again, sitting on that bench she had sat on with Haruka and Michiru once. When she first met Haruka. Later, she sat here again on a date with them—this bench place was special to her. So maybe that's why she was here again. Usagi bit her lip, and she wanted to cry. Her chest hurt so so much. It was a pain that had only increased over the past few days since she found out about the black rose growing in her chest. Usagi wondered how fast it was growing, probably pretty fast, she assumed, as the pain had only been increasing. Usagi's lip wavered a moment, and she felt her eyes start to water; she bit down harder on her lip, and it hurt as she bit down hard enough to draw blood, and she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand. Usagi couldn't; she just couldn't. She couldn't take this anymore.
Tears started to slide down her cheeks. Oh, she was crying. Of course, she was crying. Why was she crying? Usagi did her best to choke back a sob; she had always been like this—such a crybaby, crying over everything. She was really trying her best here! She was trying to accept it! That she was dying! That her days were numbered. That she didn't have much longer left, that she'd never get to live her dreams or any of that. There was nothing that could be done! She had been trying to come to terms with all that, yet here she was crying again! She was so much of a crybaby that she couldn't even come to terms with her death peacefully. She had killed herself twice, and those had been her choice. So why now couldn't we come to terms with it again? Why did she have to cry?
Usagi slowly lifted her head, tears still sliding down her cheek, and stared up into the night sky—at the stars and the Moon. The Moon was full tonight, and it hung in the sky, shining brightly with its natural brilliance, which had been restored with the defeat of Metellia. That brilliance that she had restored. Usagi remembered how the castle, the Moon Kingdom, had been rebuilt from its ruined state after that fight. She had been supposed to rule it one day when she grew older. She had promised Luna. Now, that was never going to happen; she was going to die. Usagi wished she had accepted that role when she had the chance. Maybe she wouldn't have stayed on the Moon until she was older, but then at least the Moon Kingdom would have had a chance to be reborn. "Is this what you wanted for me when you sent me to be reborn?" Usagi spoke softly, tears still falling as she spoke, talking to a Queen that was long gone. "No…no, it isn't, is it? You wanted me to live, yet here I am about to die." Usagi looked down at the ground, tearing her eyes away from the Moon, "It's not fair…I don't want to die." Usagi spoke, her voice breaking, her tears falling onto the ground. "I'm sure you…the mother that loved me enough to ensure I was reborn wouldn't want me to die either…"
It felt quiet, and maybe the quiet would have been peaceful if such a heavy burden hadn't weighed on her shoulders. Of course, it was quiet, though it was late; Usagi had probably missed dinner by now. She had been out here a long time since school ended. Simply because she couldn't bear to look at her family's faces, knowing she didn't have much longer to live. Not her mom, who loved her but would yell at her for getting bad grades. Usagi knew her mom just wanted what was best for her. Not her hardworking Papa, or even her annoying little brother Shingo, who would call 'stupid Usagi,' tease her and steal her video games. Just looking at their faces made her want to burst into tears, knowing her time was limited.
What time was it? Usagi wondered she knew it was late because of the lack of people around. Maybe it was nearly midnight? Usagi's mind wandered, trying to think about anything but her fate, so thinking about anything else was favorable to her right now. She thought about Haruka and Michiru, and she wished she hadn't. It only served to make her more upset. The tears fell faster now as she couldn't help but think about how she'd never get to see them or spend time with them again. She wondered why she was like this. Why couldn't she just accept she was going to die? She was going to die; she needed to accept it.
She was going to die. So she just had to accept it.
.
.
.
.
She needed to accept it already.
.
.
.
.
Usagi stiffened as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, looking up, and her eyes met a familiar pair of dark blue ones. Tears still fell down her cheeks, and she blinked for a moment. She wondered if her brain was playing tricks on her. But she opened her eyes, and they were still there. She was happy and upset; she felt so many things. Finally, she spoke, her voice breaking as she did. "Haruka…Michiru?"
Usagi could only stare, her eyes wide. As tears continued falling down her cheeks, she found she couldn't say anything. She moved her lips in familiar ways, but no sound escaped her mouth. So she just stared as the tears continued to slip down her cheeks because she was still crying—she was such a crybaby. Haruka…Michiru, why were they here?
Usagi stiffened as a pair of soft hands cupped her cheeks, Haruka's hands, and she shouldn't have stiffened at all, not at one of her lover's touch. Usagi couldn't bear it the way Haruka and Michiru looked at her with so much concern and worry. Yet she could see a steadfast determination in her eyes. It hurt, and it wasn't like the pain she felt in her chest, sharp and brutal, an almost dizzying pain. It was different because it didn't hurt physically, but somehow it was worse. "There…you are kitten…" Haruka spoke, her voice soft and gentle, yet it wavered, and Usagi felt Haruka brush her right cheek gently with her thumb. Usagi, even in the state she was in, could see the relief in her eyes; both her lover's eyes and Usagi just couldn't bear it.
"Haruka, Michiru…why are you here?" Usagi asked slowly, her voice wavering as she tried to stay focused on Haruka and Michiru and ignore her tears and the pain in her chest. Usagi didn't say anything after that…she let Haruka run one of her hands gently through her hair, and she really couldn't bring herself to react much to the familiar touch.
"Your Mom called us…you're family. They're all worried about you. You didn't go home after school, did you, Bunny?" Michiru asked, and Usagi could tell she was eyeing Usagi's schoolbag that sat next to her on the bench. Usagi averted her eyes, saying nothing; she didn't need to answer the question as the answer was obvious. "Bunny, you can talk to us…" Michiru spoke softly, likely in an attempt to get her to speak. Usagi shook her head slightly as she felt Haruka drop her hands from her cheek. She didn't want to talk, much less tell the truth. Because it was her fault she was dying, after all. She knew Mamoru was sick, so she went to bring him medicines and a bento. She was sure that was when the curse reached her and planted its seed in her lungs. All she wanted to do was be there for him as he seemed like he needed a friend, and look what her foolish kindness had brought her. She didn't regret reaching out to him, but she wished she had been more careful.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Her chest hurt so much, and the pain increased by the second. It was unbearable, but she had to bear it. Usagi started coughing violently, and it hurt and made her throat burn. Her throat burned as she continued to cough, and the pain in her chest spiked. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt. It hurt so much!
Even as her violent coughing slowed to a halt, she couldn't breathe; it was hard, too hard. It hurt her chest; it hurt to breathe. Her head dropped as she gripped the fabric of her uniform tightly as if it were a lifeline keeping her afloat in the ocean. Her ears rang, and vaguely, she could tell words were being spoken to her, but she couldn't make them out.
It hurt.
.
.
.
It hurt.
.
.
.
.
Her chest hurt so much!
.
.
.
That's when she noticed it splattered across her uniform. It was black…and it looked like blood. Usagi didn't get to ponder it any further before she passed out.
_
Minako was exactly sure where she was heading as she walked the streets of Tokyo, her gaze contracted on the ground. Well, it didn't matter where she was going; all she knew was that there had to be something she could do—transform, be that Venus again, and most importantly, save Usagi! She had to be able to save Usagi! She just had to! Minako's hands clenched into fists because she really didn't know what to do!
But there had to be something! There just had to be! She was frustrated because she didn't know! She just didn't know! She didn't! "Excuse me?" Minako heard a voice say, and she turned after, ready to yell and scream at the person who bothered her—now of all times. She couldn't deal with anything else right now! No matter how small. Not when she was going to lose the person dearest to her, and she was left powerless.
But she paused and blinked when she saw a man in a suit, his face obscured, holding out a business card to her. Minako paused before slowly taking it and looking down at what it said. Dead Moon Talent…
"Would you be interested in auditioning to become an Idol?"
Minako looked up from the card and stared for a moment, and she paused.
Maybe there was something she could do after all…
To be that Venus again, the one everyone needed.
To save Usagi, her Princess…
_
Hotaru knew, even though she was six, that Michiru-mama, Haruka-papa, and Setsuna-Mama were hiding something from her. Something important, and she didn't know why, but it felt super super super important…i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t, that was the word she read in her book today, and she knew she was using to correctly because Setsuna-mama said she did! Hotaru felt like they were hiding something from her that she needed to know. Somewhere in the heart, she knew someone she cared for was hurting, and Hotaru didn't like that feeling.
So that's why, since Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa were out and Setsuna-mama was working, probably. She was sneaking around. Even though Hotaru was only six, she knew she was doing something she wasn't supposed to because she really, really, really shouldn't be sneaking around. Cause she could get in trouble, and she didn't want that. But she just felt that someone she knew, her friend, was in danger, and Hotaru just needed to be there for her. Who? Hotaru wasn't sure.
So that's why she was sneaking around. Sure, she might get into trouble, but she read in a book that it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. So she'd be fine, probably. Hotaru tried to be as quiet as possible as she slowly crept up the door to the guest room that Setsuna-mama, Michiru-mama, and Haruka-papa kept going in and out of. Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa did it a lot more than Setsuna-mama. Of course, Hotaru did try to ask what was in the room, but her parents wouldn't tell her. So Hotaru was going to find out herself.
Hotaru reached the guest room door, and she had to stand on the very top of her tippy toes to reach the door handle, but she did, which was good because if she hadn't, she'd never find out what was in the room. Slowly and as quietly as she could, she opened the door, and it creaked a little as she did. Hotaru paused and looked around the hallway, making sure Setsuna-mama was not around, before slipping inside.
Hotaru looked around the room, and at first, she didn't see anything special before she noticed a girl resting in the bed; she couldn't be older than her parents, Hotaru thought. She stepped further into the room, closer to the bed, and observed the girl.
She was asleep, her breathing heavy, and she looked like she was in pain. The girl had golden blonde hair pulled into pigtails and two buns—Hotaru thought that was right, at least, and she was really pretty. Hotaru thought this girl was familiar to her; it was weird, but she was super sure she knew this girl. She didn't know why, but she felt as though it was true.
Hotaru carefully took another step forward, trying to look at the super-familiar girl. "Hotaru," a soft yet stern voice said. Hotaru stiffened, and she turned to see her Setsuna-mama also standing in the room, holding something that looked like water and a cloth. Was this girl sick, maybe? "You shouldn't be in here."
"Setsuna-mama…I was…just curious…" Hotaru said slowly because she had been caught. Hotaru watched Setsuna-mama sigh and walk further into the room before placing the bowl of water and the cloth on the bedside table. Setsuna-mama turned and held out her hand. Hotaru took her mama's thoughts rather reluctantly because she hadn't meant to get caught.
As Setsuna-mama walked her out of the room, she looked behind her at the sleeping girl one more time. "Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru spoke, though she hesitated because Setsuna-mama could be mad.
"Yes, Hotaru," Her mama eventually replied,
"Who is that girl?" There was a pause,
"Nobody you need to worry about." Was her mama's only response, which was definitely not the one Hotaru had wanted at all.
"Oh…do I know her?" Hotaru asked because surely her mama would know why the girl was so familiar to her. Her mama was super, super, super, super, super smart after all.
"No." Hotaru was sure she heard her mama falter in her response for a moment, like super, super sure.
"But I'm really sure I do."
