Digging Upward

by JaydeeGrey

A sequel to "Renditions of Consequence." Some may say recovery is a road not a place. The journey is long and the ride sure ain't easy. Coming to grips and losing grip are sometimes one and the same.

57. Chapter 57

Hi all! Please enjoy this crazy long (and probably dense) chapter. More to come :)

General Content Warning: Chapters in this story may contain upsetting or triggering content including but possibly not limited to violence, consensual and non-consensual sexual references and descriptions, drug and alcohol use and abuse, references to or descriptions of mental illness, self-harm or self-injurious behavior, and references to or discussions of suicide.

~Fifty-Seven~

Seeing someone you love or care deeply about lying unconscious in a hospital bed with tubes attached to them in various parts while medical monitors and equipment beep and hiss and various people in scrubs and gowns move in and out of the room pretending you aren't there is hard. Zack had seen Cloud in that state a few times and it was always just as difficult.

Even more difficult was watching as someone was coming out of that state, confused and vacant seeming. Having previous experience, Zack wasn't disappointed he wasn't able to be in the room when the nurses decided to try waking him up. They still wanted to keep him isolated with minimal outside contact for at least another day. He'd been in the induced coma for three, nearly four, days at that point when they determined he was recovering well enough they would not need to bring him into surgery again until Cloud was ready for the attempt to remove some of the bullet fragments in his back.

The swelling in Cloud's brain had gone down considerably just in the twenty-four hours after his emergency surgery. Considering the injuries he'd sustained, the surgeons were apparently surprised there hadn't been more damage or internal bleeding. It was believed that the bullet had been deflected a little when it hit bone, causing it to break apart. Zack knew that part of why he was so fortunate to have avoided more damage was to do with all the experimentation he'd been subjected to in the labs.

What the doctors and nurses were most concerned with was the infection he was fighting. It was in his blood and the doctors had indicated they were a little worried with the impact it was having on his organs. They'd decided to treat it as aggressively as possible but there hadn't been a lot of improvement the first day or two. It wasn't until day three that the antibiotics they had him on seemed to have gotten the upper hand.

Zack still sat at the hospital with Tifa and Johnny just to be there for any updates. One of the ICU nurses spoke with them around midday and let them know that they'd gotten Cloud awake for a short time and he was no longer intubated but that he was still going to be on oxygen assistance and would be under some amount of sedation so he was probably going to be sleeping through most of the next twelve hours. The plan was to hopefully have him moved out of the intensive care unit the following day, provided he didn't have a setback. Once moved, he would be out of isolation and they'd be able to visit him.

So, nearly five days since being airlifted to the hospital, and after a few months of having not seen him, Zack was finally able to see Cloud in person the following day mid-morning. The nurse who was primarily handling Cloud's care during that shift, her name Sandra, came out to the room where Zack, Tifa, and Johnny had been spending most of their time while at the hospital. It was a room designated for families and friends of patients in that unit. Sandra told them that she was going to be waking Cloud up so that he could be assessed and hopefully somewhat alert for when the doctor would be making rounds shortly.

Although Cloud had been awake for a few minutes every couple hours since the day before, she indicated that this time would be different and he would most likely feel it was the first time being awake since he was airlifted from Aldohollow. He was probably going to be confused and might benefit from having someone he knows and is close to nearby.

Tifa told Zack to go. He asked if she was sure and she told him yes. As much as she wanted to see him as well, she couldn't imagine anyone other than Zack being the person Cloud would want to see first.

Zack was nervous walking into the room behind Sandra. He was worried about how Cloud was going to react when he fully realized where he was, what had happened, and what his condition was. He also knew things that Cloud didn't know yet. Things related to the investigation out at the rural property in Aldohollow that Rand had owned. Tseng had been giving him as much information as he was able to get. Tseng had finally revealed to him that the information was coming through a contact working for the Junon Police Department, a civilian working with the forensics team collecting and documenting evidence in Aldohollow who was not authorized to speak officially.

Rand's name had finally been released officially as one of the deceased individuals found on the property. The press had first released the name after identifying him as the owner of the property and the police had then given the official confirmation. The names of the other two adults uncovered on the property hadn't been given publicly yet, but Tseng's contact told him they did have an identification for the male and knew him to be a relative of Rand's and actually someone the police had been looking for.

The police had made the decision to expand their search of the property to include excavations that had them digging up large sections of it, but they'd been hindered a little by poor weather. As for Cloud's son, there'd been no sign of him yet but according to Tseng, a specialist with a background in identifying and recovering child and infant remains had been brought out to join the team during excavations. So, it sounded like the police were considering Cloud's son could be buried out on the property somewhere. Zack wasn't planning on mentioning what was going on out at Rand's property to Cloud, certainly not right away.

Zack was pretty shocked when his eyes landed on his friend lying in the hospital bed, seemingly asleep on his back, the head of the bed slightly elevated. The first thing he took note of was how bruised his face was, though it wasn't very swollen. He assumed it must have been when he'd been brought into the hospital. It might have made what he also saw less noticeable to Johnny or Reno when they saw him out at Rand's property. It was obvious now, to Zack at least, even just from looking at his face and what he could see of his arms that were visible, that Cloud had lost a considerable amount of weight since he'd left Midgar.

He stood aside a little anxiously then while watching the nurse waking Cloud up. He seemed slow to respond to her.

"Cloud. You need to wake up, okay?" she urged him while tapping on his right forearm at his side and keeping an eye on the monitor next to the bed. "Open your eyes for me. That's it, Cloud."

Zack watched as Cloud did actually begin to open his eyes. Something about it made it seem so painful. The dryness. His eyes were reddened and so dull. He'd seen the same thing in Costa del Sol when he'd come out of an induced coma there too. He knew he'd been through the same thing himself at least a couple times in Hojo's custody but it was hard to have to watch it.

Cloud moved both his head and his arms. He seemed to jolt a little, like he was surprised by the nurse standing next to the bed talking to him.

"Hi, Cloud," she greeted him cheerfully. "I need you to wake up alright? You've been asleep a long time," she told him in a voice like she was talking to a young child.

Zack saw from where he was standing Cloud raising his right hand to his face and attempting to pull at the oxygen tubing clipped to his nose. The nurse promptly stopped him.

"No no, just leave that for now," she said as she gently held back his arm so he couldn't take hold of the tubing. "I need you to take some deep breaths, okay?"

Cloud did seem to take in a single deeper breath but it was evident quickly then that he was in pain. He groaned aloud as he shut his eyes tightly.

"I know you're feeling a lot right now. Where are you feeling the most pain?" She asked him and he tapped at his chest a little with the tips of his fingers.

"Your chest," she noted. "Anywhere else?"

Finally, Cloud spoke his first words but it was almost too mumbled for Zack to make out.

"My back…my head."

"Alright I'm going to give you something but it won't take the pain away completely because I need you to try and be awake for a while," she explained.

Zack knew there was more than one reason why they needed him to try to be awake and more alert and one of them was that while Cloud had been sedated he hadn't been doing much on his own. Not moving and not breathing. They needed him now to really work his lungs and remind his body it needed to do things like cough and circulate oxygen on its own.

"Can you take another few deep breaths for me?" She asked and as he drew in air then more deeply into his chest he finally began to cough.

It was a hoarse as wet sounding cough. It's exactly what they wanted to clear.

"That's it," she praised him. "Do you know where you are?" She asked when he was done coughing and quieted down again. He shook his head a little. "You're in Bronze Valley Hospital."

"What? Cloud replied groggily.

"What do you last remember?" she asked him. Cloud's only answer to that was to shake his head a little on the pillow under his head. "There was an incident and you were injured, do you remember?" she asked and he nodded a little. "What happened?" was her following question.

"I fell in the lake," he said. Zack barely made it out. His voice was broken and strained.

He clearly didn't recall why he was there. It had Zack immediately worried that he might have suffered memory loss like he had in the past.

"Okay," the nurse said, not correcting him or pressing him further with more questions. "The doctor is going to come see you soon, alright? You have a visitor here now, your friend Zack."

"What?" Cloud said back to that with confusion clear in his tone and expression.

For a moment Zack feared it meant Cloud might not even remember him. The nurse glanced back at him and he took that as a cue to approach. When he was in Cloud's field of view, he was relieved to see obvious recognition from Cloud. His friend hadn't forgotten who he was.

"Zack?" he said his name with a furrowed expression like he didn't believe he was actually there or like he shouldn't be there.

"Hey, buddy," he greeted him with a smile that he hoped masked the overwhelming feeling of concern he had right then for his friend.

"I'll leave you two a few minutes," the nurse told Zack and he thanked her, glancing away from Cloud briefly.

When he looked at Cloud again, he seemed not only confused, his eyes looking around the room like he was looking for something he recognized, but he looked a little anxious as well. He was reaching again what seemed almost reflexively for the oxygen tubing at his face about to try and remove it again. Zack stopped him.

"You need to leave that, buddy," he directed him.

Cloud looked at where Zack's hand touched his forearm before looking up at him.

"What's going on?" he asked then. "Where are we?"

"It's okay," Zack assured him. He could tell from the monitor next to the bed that his heart rate and blood pressure were increasing. "It's a hospital in a city called Iron Lake. You had to be flown out of Aldohollow in an air ambulance."

Cloud's eyes widened slightly.

"Aldohollow," he spoke shakily as he exhaled.

"Do you remember what happened?" Zack asked him tentatively. He didn't really need to question him though. At the mention of Aldohollow he could see the recall coming over him fast. His eyes began to redden more and glisten with building tears.

"Is Rand here too?" he asked at little more than a whisper.

Zack shook his head slowly.

"No. He's gone," he told Cloud, his tone mostly without emotion. He didn't know which way would be the right way to say it. He didn't know which emotion was appropriate so he didn't use any of them.

Cloud though, was quickly overcome with both emotion and the resulting tears.

"He's dead?" he asked and Zack nodded. He was sure Cloud had already known that even when he had called him out in the woods but looking at him, it was clear some part of him hadn't wanted to believe it or remember. "Oh god," he cried then, tears immediately breaching the corners of his eyes as he shut them tightly. "Koda."

Cloud remembered then, all the terrible horrid details of what happened on Rand's property and how he'd found Annalena's body. It felt like it had just happened.

"It's okay, Spikey, the police are looking for him," Zack tried to reassure him but the words didn't help. If anything, they seemed to have the opposite effect.

The only thing Cloud heard from what Zack said was that Koda was missing. No one knew where he was or if he was even alive. Rand might have been the only person who knew and he wasn't ever going to be able to say anything about it now. The weight of the guilt and regret Cloud felt was crushing, his heart felt physically injured or damaged by it. His mental anguish heightened everything else he felt in his body as well. All the physical pain from the injuries his body must have sustained.

There was so much pain that it had him sobbing and on the verge of screaming. He'd thought he was going to die back in the woods. He'd accepted it. Instead, he'd woken up to the bloody nightmare that was his life. It was like waking up in Hojo's lab in Gongaga, after being tortured to death, and realizing that Seraph wasn't going to let him die. Forever and ever, he'd be trapped in an endless cycle of succumbing to a horrifically painful demise only to be brought back to his captivity. He couldn't take it. He yelled out loudly, feeling like he was losing his mind as he began tearing at the various tubes and wires that were attached to him.

Zack was so shocked to see him spiral so quickly into that state that he didn't know what to say or do other than try to stop him from pulling off or dislodging the various medical equipment that was connected to his body while the monitor next to the bed bleeped loudly and rapidly. The doctors and nurses had been adamant about Cloud not being able to sit up on his own until he had another surgery but he did manage to lift his upper body off the bed somewhat, making it halfway to sitting up before three nurses, including Sandra, were rushing into the room.

Zack stepped back from the bed quickly then.

"I—I'm sorry," he told Sandra, who ushered him to the door.

"It's okay, just wait out here a few minutes," she told him before leaving him in the hall.

They had Cloud quieted down again nearly immediately. Zack assumed they must have administered something to him to calm him down.

"Oh my god," Zack breathed out as he leaned back against the wall in the hall and looked up at the ceiling. He could have started crying.

He felt like he'd only just caught a glimpse of what he'd been terrified was coming when Cloud woke up. What Cloud had been through had turned his life completely upside down once again and all the progress he'd made trying to recover from the past…it had been completely destroyed. Any amount of, albeit fragile, stability he'd worked to build for himself had been reduced to rubble and dust.

It was a few minutes before the nurses exited the room. Sandra stopped to talk to him. He spoke before she could.

"I'm sorry. He asked me a few things and I think he started to remember what happened and he just lost it. I didn't mean to get him worked up."

"That's okay. He's okay," she assured him. "He only pulled off his oxygen tubing and some of the monitoring equipment. It's all back on now. We did sedate him though so it's best he just get some more rest. The doctor will probably wait until this afternoon to try and talk to him so maybe come back around dinner?"

"Okay," he breathed out, nodding a little. "Is that alright though? I don't want to make things worse."

"It's perfectly fine. He needs people who care about him around him right now," she said.

"Okay," he agreed before making his way back to the family room to reluctantly let Johnny and Tifa know how the short visit had gone.

He returned later in the day, as the nurse had suggested. He went alone, with Johnny and Tifa hanging back at the hotel. Once he'd made it to the hospital and up to the floor where Cloud's room was, he stopped at the nurses' station to find out how Cloud was doing and if it was okay for him to go see him. They gave him the go-ahead and indicated that he was doing better and was calmer than he was earlier in the day.

Hoping that they weren't just saying as much not to worry him, he made his way down to Cloud's room and entered slowly. Cloud was awake. He appeared to be looking down the bed at his own feet under the covers. He looked exhausted, not just physically. He looked drained of life. It reminded him of how Cloud seemed back in Costa del Sol when he'd really been struggling after the implant removal and all the procedures he'd undergone to try to reverse some of what Hojo had done to him in Gongaga. It was a little different though this time. There was a very heavy atmosphere that he felt when he walked in the room. It felt like he was walking into the funeral home at his father's wake.

"Hi buddy," he greeted Cloud softly as he approached from the doorway, not wanting to startle him.

Cloud only looked at him at first, watching him as he got himself seated next to him.

"Is it okay if I visit a while?" he asked and Cloud nodded a little.

"How are you outside Midgar, Zack?" he inquired in a quiet voice then.

Zack smiled as he rested his one arm on the guardrail of the bed at Cloud's side.

"You're looking at a free man, Spikey. The parole board issued sentence served."

Cloud gave him a faint smile in return that he was relieved to see, even if it was brief.

"Finally," Cloud said.

"Yeah. Good timing right?" Zack said back through a light laugh. "How you holding up?" he asked a little tentatively. "You had a bit of a rough day huh?"

Cloud looked away from him, staring up at the clock on the wall across from his bed.

"Sorry about earlier," he uttered out weakly. He seemed notably sad then.

"You don't have to apologize, Spikey," Zack told him quickly. "Did you get to talk to the doctor?"

Cloud nodded slowly, eyes still ahead.

"Did he explain what's going on with everything?"

"You mean not being able to walk anymore?" Cloud replied.

"What?" Zack responded a little sharper to that. He hoped that's not the words that doctor had used. It's not what he'd understood from talking to the nurses. "Did he not explain? It's only temporary?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied flatly as he blinked a few times. He didn't seem to believe it, or he was feeling too down to care.

"It is, buddy. You'll be fine. I know it," Zack assured him.

Cloud turned his head on the pillow under him and looked at him again.

"What's going on out in Aldohollow?" he asked, making Zack a little nervous. "No one will tell me what's going on but I've heard them talking."

"Who?" Zack asked.

"The nurses," Cloud said. "There's been cops here asking about me," he added.

Shaking his head slowly, Zack told him, "You don't need to worry about all that right now."

Cloud exhaled heavily then, clearly frustrated by his response.

"Zack. Please. Be my best friend that I trust more than anyone in the world and tell me the truth about what's going on right now." He looked Zack in the eyes and waited but he could tell Zack clearly didn't want to tell him anything. "Please," he repeated a little softer. He needed to know.

"Okay," Zack said finally. "There's been an investigation and search going on at Rand's property out there," he revealed.

"Since the day you guys found me?" Cloud questioned.

"Yeah. They found human remains," Zack replied reluctantly. "I mean, other than Rand's. So, they're doing searches and excavations to see if there's anyone else."

"It's either Annalena or Chip," Cloud told him as he returned to looking at the clock on the wall, his eyes following the second hand as it moved slowly around the clock face.

"They did find two bodies," Zack confirmed. "Did you know those people? Were they helping Rand?" he asked.

Cloud shook his head but then told him, "Chip was Rand's cousin. He was a good guy. He tried to help me. He got killed because he tried to help me."

"Oh," Zack acknowledged, not really knowing what to say then for a moment as he took in his words. Someone had been killed trying to help him? "Killed how?" he questioned quietly. "It wasn't…I mean, you didn't do it, right?"

Cloud looked at him.

"Why? Do the cops think that?" he asked. Before Zack could respond, he added quickly, "do they think I killed Koda's mother, too?"

Zack was shocked then.

"Is..is that who Annalena is?" he asked and Cloud nodded.

"Rand was keeping her there with you?" Zack assumed.

"No," Cloud denied but quickly continued. "I don't know. I don't know what happened. She wasn't supposed to be there. She was supposed to be with Koda. I saw her body just before you guys found me." Distress was quickly building in his voice then. "If she's dead…I think Koda must be, too."

Though he didn't start sobbing, tears were clearly building in and running from his eyes fast.

"It's too early to think that way, buddy," Zack told him, wiping away some of his tears gently, trying to comfort him and keep him from descending into panic or another breakdown. "And don't worry about what the cops or media or anyone think right now."

"What's being said in the media?" Cloud asked.

Zack was kicking himself immediately. He didn't know why he'd just mentioned the media. He hasn't been thinking.

"Nothing, really, Spike—" he tried to tell him confidently. Cloud cut him off swiftly while pushing his hand back from him.

"Don't lie to me right now, Zack. Just tell me what's happening so I know and can be prepared."

"You don't need to—"

Zack stopped himself when he received a hard look from his friend that he could easily read.

Don't tell me what I need.

"Okay," he breathed out in surrender. "All they've said is that you were located alive, not killed in some motorcycle accident in Junon, and that you were on a remote property in Aldohollow…And also that police found the bodies of three people on the property, one being Rand. They're continuing to search the property because they think there could be more remains. The police wouldn't say how you were…involved or connected to anyone found dead."

Cloud took in the information and looked down at the hospital blanket covering his body.

"So, it looks like I'm responsible for what happened to all of them," he concluded.

"It's not clear what's going on," Zack said back quickly. "Don't let this freak you out okay? It's all going to be cleared up soon." He could see Cloud going inside himself, not listening to anything he was saying right then. "Look at me," he said to him firmly and slowly Cloud shifted his eyes back to his. "I will not let you go down for anything you didn't do. I promise you."

"What about for what I did do," Cloud asked.

"You didn't do anything," Zack said back firmly.

"I killed Rand," he stated simply.

"You did what you had to, Spike. It was self-defence," he pointed out.

"It's whatever the cops want it to be," Cloud argued. "Look what happened to you just for beating him up."

Zack lowered his head a moment, trying to just breathe slowly and calm himself down and not get outwardly over-emotional, because it wasn't going to help.

"Please don't worry about it right now," he begged his friend then. "You've been through hell, Spike. And you made it out alive. But you've got to focus on yourself right now and getting strong. You don't know how close you came to…"

He didn't want to say the word. Dying.

"I have a pretty good idea," Cloud replied, looking down.

"Tifa's out here, so is Johnny," Zack began to tell him then, hoping that maybe knowing he had friends wanting to see him, it would help him in some way. "They're back at the hotel but maybe tomorrow they can—"

"No," Cloud said before he could finish.

"Huh?" he responded with confusion, not sure he'd heard right.

"I don't want to see anyone right now," Cloud told him.

"Spike."

"Zack, please," Cloud cut in quickly. He looked like he was going to try to say something else but instead he began to actually cry, unable to hold it back then.

Zack shook his head a little, not understanding. "Spikey," he spoke his name sadly as he tried to shift himself a little closer to him next to the bed. He used his hand to brush his hair back a little from his forehead.

"Please," Cloud cried as he covered his face with his hands. "You're the only person I can handle seeing right now, please. Just…tell them I'm sorry. I can't."

"Okay okay," Zack told him, seeing he was on the verge of fully sobbing. He didn't fully understand why Cloud wouldn't want to see any of his friends but he wasn't in a position to refuse his wishes. If Cloud didn't think he could handle it, for whatever reason, he wasn't going to push him. "No one else right now," he agreed.

Cloud's vitals, being monitored by his assigned nurse down the hall, must have given cause for some concern. She appeared in the doorway and although Zack almost expected her to scold him for getting him worked up again, she just gave him a sympathetic smile.

"You doing alright, Cloud," she asked as she approached. He didn't answer her but he did immediately quiet down and pull back his emotions a little. "Maybe time for a little more rest, hmm?" she questioned. "How's the pain doing?" she asked him. "Do you need some more medication to help you sleep?"

"Yeah," was all Cloud said back to her.

"I'll be back with that in a minute," she told him warmly and looked Zack's way. He nodded at her, giving her a non-verbal acknowledgement of what he knew she was probably going to say to him, which was that he should be left alone now until tomorrow.

When she left the room, Zack leaned over and gave Cloud a kiss on his head.

"I'll come back in the morning, okay?" he told Cloud who just nodded a little without looking at him. Before leaving, he told him "I love you. Get some sleep."

Back at the hotel, Zack relayed to Johnny and Tifa what he and Cloud had talked about and also that Cloud was asking for no visitors other than Zack right now. Johnny didn't say much about it, but Tifa was upset. Zack had expected that. He couldn't really give her a reason other than that Cloud was having a really hard time. He tried to reassure her by suggesting he would probably change his mind in another day or so when he was, hopefully, feeling a little better physically. He told her and Johnny that Cloud seemed to be in a substantial amount of pain.

Zack promised her he'd talk to Cloud the next day about it and encourage him to let the people who care about him come and see him.

That night, Zack called Tseng to tell him Cloud identified the two unknown individuals found dead on Rand's property. The man was shocked to find out the woman who was recovered was the mother of Cloud's son. He'd been trying to make contact with her for months. Tseng asked him to call back if Cloud gave any more information on how Rand came into contact with the mother, in case there was something there to point to who might be holding on to Cloud's child. Zack told him he would, but he didn't want to upset Cloud by asking him a lot of questions for the time being, not while he seemed on the verge of breaking down at any moment.

Over at the hospital the next morning, when Zack turned the corner to the hallway leading to Cloud's room, he spotted two men entering. It had him slowing his pace for a moment. They were dressed as civilians but he was sure he saw hip holsters for service weapons and that they were each holding leather zipper bound folders. They looked like police officers, possibly detectives.

He jogged then quickly the short distance to Cloud's room and entered behind them.

"Hey! What's going on?" he was demanding to know, grabbing the attention of the men promptly.

"Are you family?" the one asked, looking older or more senior than the other. He could see when they were turned that they both had lanyards around their necks that identified them as law enforcement from Junon City Police Department.

"I'm his brother," Zack told them without a second thought.

"Aren't you Zackary Fair?" the younger man asked, clearly recognizing him and knowing he was lying about being related to Cloud.

"What are you doing here?" he asked instead, ignoring the question.

He looked at Cloud lying in his bed, looking a little apprehensive but not as surprised or as anxious as Zack himself felt. Actually, Cloud was sitting up a little, the bed inclined to keep him more upright. It surprised Zack since he apparently wasn't supposed to be able to sit up without being in too much pain or incredible discomfort.

"We were just introducing ourselves to Mister Strife," the older man said, levelly, not reacting to the sharpness in Zack's tone. "I'm Detective Hurst and this is Detective Rolston." He looked directly at Cloud then as he told him, "We've been waiting for you to be up to seeing us."

"Does he look up to that?" Zack fired at Hurst as he passed the detectives to stand near Cloud's bedside, putting himself between them a little. "You know he was shot in the back and nearly died, right? He's been through emergency surgery and had to be in an induced coma, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"We've been cleared to be here," Rolston said.

"By who?" Zack challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.

"The physicians overseeing his care here," Hurst answered simply.

Zack shook his head and scoffed. He couldn't believe the doctors looking after Cloud would actually think he was us to a police interrogation so soon after going through so much physical trauma.

"What is it you need to talk to him about that can't wait a few more days?" he asked. He knew the officers really didn't need to talk to him. They could tell him at any moment to step outside and leave them alone with Cloud. He was waiting anxiously for that exact thing, but Hurst continued to talk to him calmly. Almost too calmly, it felt like to Zack. It felt too casual.

"We've got some questions we need to ask about Randon Cane and what occurred on his property in Aldohollow. It's important we speak about it as soon as possible," Hurst said.

Out of nowhere it seemed, Cloud's voice interrupted the back-and-forth between Zack and Hurst. What he said had Zack dropping his arms fast and looking down at Cloud in shock.

"I killed him."

"Cloud!" Zack said.

His own tone was pretty sharp. He couldn't believe his friend had just said those words without what seemed like any thought whatsoever. When he looked down, Cloud wasn't looking back at him. He was just staring a little ahead. His voice was flat and unemotional, like he'd just uttered the most mundane and inconsequential words one could imagine.

"Uh," Zack uttered nervously, turning away from Cloud again to face the officers. "I'm sorry. If you're going to start interrogating him about this, he needs a lawyer here," he stated strongly.

Hurst looked past him at Cloud.

"It is your right to have a lawyer if you want one before proceeding but—" the man began to inform him but again Cloud spoke up in the same detached-sounding voice.

"I don't want a lawyer."

Zack exhaled heavily and moved to sit down in the chair next to Cloud that he'd sat in the night before. He leaned in closely to Cloud so he could talk to him a little quieter.

"Spike, you can't talk to these guys without one," he told him. "You don't know how they can twist the things you say. It could end up in you getting added or increased charges."

Cloud did turn his head on the pillow it was resting against and looked Zack in the eyes.

"I don't care," he said.

It really didn't sound like he cared. The lack of any kind of apparent emotion in Cloud, after having seen him so outwardly emotional the day before had Zack sitting and looking back at him in silence, unsure of what to say then. He hadn't been prepared for Cloud to be so unwilling to defend himself. It felt like definitive proof though that Cloud wasn't ready to be questioned.

Hurst spoke up then finally.

"Sorry," he said a little tentatively. "I think there's some confusion, Cloud—uh, may we use your first name?" he asked.

"Whatever," Cloud responded with a slight shrug of his shoulders against the bed as he turned his gaze up at the ceiling. He really didn't care what they called him at that point. He figured they had a right to call him a murderer so his own name wasn't going to bother him.

"We're only here to interview you. To get your account of what occurred for our file. We'd like as much information as possible regarding Cane's death and the events leading up to it, but we aren't gathering any evidence or statements with the intent of laying any charges," he explained.

Zack glanced down at Cloud long enough to see he didn't seem moved by the officer's declaration. He maybe just didn't know what to think or if he should believe what was being said.

"You're saying there's not going to be any charges against Cloud for Rand's death?" Zack asked Hurst, wanting the clarification to be sure.

"Right. No charges," Hurst confirmed. "From the evidence and witness statements we've collected so far, we don't question or have doubts about the fact you are a victim in this case, Cloud."

Still guarded, Zack asked, "You're not just saying this to have him lower his guard so you can use what he's saying against him later?"

Hurst actually chuckled a little and it helped to lighten the air in the room slightly.

"No," he denied. Looking at Cloud with a serious expression once more, he told him, "Although you were found in Aldohollow, the county police that would normally have jurisdiction passed the case fully onto us at Junon PD since we have more resources and also because the evidence has indicated you were taken out of Junon by Cane against your will." Cloud looked down into his own lap then. "Is that what happened?" Hurst asked him and he nodded a little. "We've been in contact with the prosecutor's office in Junon and they are not looking to hold anyone criminally responsible for Cane's death."

"What about the others?" Zack spoke up then. Sure, they were saying they knew Cloud had been abducted by Rand from Junon and that he was a victim. It didn't mean they weren't going to look at him as a suspect in the deaths of the other people found on Rand's property.

"Others?" Hurst asked back.

"The other bodies you guys have found on the property," Zack clarified. "You're saying you're not going to charge Cloud for Rand's death, is he a possible suspect in your minds in the death of the others?"

Hurst glanced back at his partner, who'd been mostly silent before shaking his head.

"We have no reason to suspect you currently," he spoke directly to Cloud again, though Cloud wasn't looking back at him. "We have some questions about what you may have witnessed, regarding the deaths of those individuals. Hopefully, you may also be able to provide some information that will help us in locating your son."

"You aren't digging up the property looking for his body?" Cloud said back without looking up.

"We're not ruling anything out but we have no reason right now to believe he is not alive somewhere," the detective told him and Cloud nodded very slightly with understanding. "So, are you comfortable speaking with us?" Hurst asked.

"Not really," Cloud replied at first. He raised his eyes and turned his head a little to look up at the man. "Let's just get it over with," he said.

He actually did want to get it over with. He'd already known he was going to be questioned by the police at some point. He wanted it done so he didn't have to keep dreading it.

"Okay," Hurst said as he and Rolston both prepared to sit themselves down in the other visitor chairs available. "Did you want to have a member of victim's services here for support?" Hurst remembered to ask then as he sat down. "We have one on call."

Shaking his head a little, Cloud asked, "Can I just have Zack here?"

"Of course," the man agreed and proceeded to unzip his leather covered file folder on his lap. "If you're comfortable with that?"

"I am," Cloud confirmed, glancing briefly at Zack.

Zack saw in his eyes that he was checking to see if he was also fine with being in the room to hear the interview. Of course, Zack was. He told him so with a small reassuring smile.

Hurst nodded and cleared his throat a little.

"Okay. So, we have something for you to read over," he said to start. "It's a statement of facts already agreed upon by Shinra Electric that pertains to your history with Randon Cane. How you came to know each other and whatnot, as it seems pertinent to the case. We thought that might be easier if you were able to read over it and agree to what is presented there if it looks correct, to save you having to go over all those details."

"You talked to someone at Shinra?" Zack said with some surprise.

Cloud, too, was a little surprised to hear they were already familiar with his background in a general sense. He supposed it made sense they knew though, seeing as he'd been reported in the news recently as a missing person. The media had reported briefly on his history and the Shinra controversy involving him and Zack.

Hurst placed a document on the tray table that was next to the bed and turned the table so it was in front of him and visible for him to read. Slowly Cloud reached up to grasp the one upper corner of the document, to lift it and read it. There was a very brief summary on there of what was already known publicly about him as well as some details that, thankfully, weren't public.

He had been a subject of human experimentation at the hands of Shinra's former head scientist. It was during his unlawful and forced custody that he was 'introduced' to Rand. What he didn't expect to find on the page was a statement that acknowledged the company had been made aware after Rand was on leave from his position that there was 'evidence he'd knowingly and deliberately through means of coercion, force, and/or administration of one or more drugs, engaged in an unethical personal relationship with him in Midgar that involved repeated incidents of physical contact of a sexual nature, which he did not, or could not fully consent to.'

He wasn't sure what to think of the way what Rand did to him was described. It felt like the words had been carefully chosen as a way for Shinra to explain or justify why the company hadn't gone on to do anything about what happened to him. It's not like they reported Rand to the police for what he did. Saying that there was 'physical contact of a sexual nature' that he couldn't 'fully consent to' felt diminishing. Aside from that, he supposed it was an accurate summary at the most basic level.

"Sounds right," he said dully as he let the page fall back flat on the table. He gave a short nod to Zack when he reached for it, wanting to see what was on it.

"We'll need to you to sign off that it is," Hurst told him as he placed a pen on the table for him to use.

Cloud could tell by the sounds Zack made under his breath as he read the page in front of him, that he wasn't happy about the wording that was on it either. Cloud was pretty sure he could feel how irate he was. He didn't say anything though. With a sharp movement, Zack slid the page back toward Cloud so that he could sign it. Zack leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms with a strong exhale.

Cloud quickly scrawled his signature over the line that was indicated at the bottom of the page. It was barely legible. Hurst thanked him when he pushed the paper and pen back in his direction as far as he could reach. The detective took the paper back from him and handed it to his partner to place in his folder. He jumped right into the questioning then. His first question had Cloud nearly rolling his eyes as he realized the 'interview' was probably going to take longer than he imagined.

"Could you tell us about your first interaction with Cane after you'd returned to Midgar from treatment in Costa del Sol?"

He told them about Rand showing up at the college when he was working. He didn't know how he'd known to find him there at the time. As he answered the detective's questions about that first encounter with Rand after not seeing him for over a year, he realized that because he'd unknowingly had Rand's tracking chip in his back, the man would have been able to find him anywhere when he was within a certain range.

After that incident at the college, he was asked when the next contact was between them and he told them about the audio player that Rand sent to the college for him and that there was a recorded message on it from him.

Hurst looked over at his partner then.

"Do you have the most recent item list from evidence collection?" he asked him and Rolston took a moment to look through some of the paperwork that was in his folder.

"Ummmm…yes," he finally confirmed. He pulled the document from where he'd located it and scanned over it before nodding. "Number eighty-three," he told Hurst. "Audio player."

Hurst wrote down the number in his own notes he was keeping as Cloud answered his questions. He looked up then and explained to Zack and Cloud.

"An audio player was one of the electronic devices collected from Cane's Aldohollow property. Could that be it?"

Cloud shrugged lightly. "Maybe. I had it with my stuff that was packed into the cargo cases on my bike. He's the one who decided which of my shit to keep and which to put in the harbor," he spoke a little bitterly.

"What was the message?" Detective Rolston spoke up to ask. "That Cane left for you on the player," he added when Cloud looked his way.

"An apology. And an offer of a transfer of some paperwork that…that he knew was important to me and wanted me to have. Said I'd have to go to Junon to get it. So I went to Junon," he answered a little vaguely.

He didn't really want to tell them what the paperwork was. That it was a transfer of project shares to him from Rand. Although Tseng had explained to him previously that it didn't matter who owned the shares at that point, no one was going to own him like Shinra and the project investors once did, having them as his own did mean something to him.

"Were you supposed to meet with him in Junon?" Hurst questioned, to Cloud's relief, not asking what the paperwork was.

Cloud explained that he was supposed to meet with Rand's lawyer and that he thought Rand might be dead at that point, having died in a reactor in Midgar. He told the detectives how he'd gone to an old address Rand had had, because he wanted to see if he was there and not actually dead. He explained that upon finding out Rand didn't live there anymore, he went to a bar where the man did eventually approach him, having been called by the person he'd spoken with at his old residence.

Hurst asked him for the address so that they could speak with the current resident. The man then asked how Rand found him at the bar. Cloud told him then about the microchip. When asked what happened during their encounter at the bar, Cloud explained that they'd had a heated discussion and that he was going to leave and head back to his hotel but that there was a storm and he ended up having a panic attack outside. At Rand's urging, he went back to the man's apartment with him. It was hard to say that out loud, especially in front of Zack. He didn't look at him because he was sure he knew what he was feeling. Confused. Confused about why the hell he would willingly put himself in the man's home after everything.

"I didn't want to go there," he felt like he needed to say to the detectives. "The rain was just so heavy. I didn't really know my way around the city and I had been drinking. I wasn't supposed to be with the meds I was on…I don't know." He shook his head to himself. "It's stupid," he said with his eyes down.

"That's okay," Hurst replied neutrally. There didn't seem to be any judgement in his tone but Cloud still felt it was warranted if there was any. "What happened when you were at the apartment?" Hurst asked.

"I passed out or fell asleep pretty quickly after getting there," Cloud said. "He undressed me while I was out of it. Like took off my coat and pants. So, when I woke up, I was pissed off about that. I yelled at him and left."

"Did he try to stop you?" the detective inquired with his eyes on the notepad below him while he jotted down some things.

"No," Cloud replied. "I ended up going back the next day, which, again, was stupid." He did glance at Zack then but his friend was also looking down as he was listening. He couldn't read what he was thinking or feeling. His expression seemed blank. "I wanted him to remove the tracking chip he told me was in my back," he said.

He went on to explain how Rand located it and marked the location on his back for him but didn't want to remove it so he left. Hurst asked again if Rand tried to stop him from leaving and he told him no. It was hard for him not to get emotional when he had to say out loud that Rand didn't stop him. It was something that Rand had even pointed out to him, that he'd let him go again and again. He'd claimed that he'd been willing to let go forever but that Cloud had made the choice to keep coming back to him. He'd argued it at the time but it was harder now after what had happened the past weeks to not feel it was his fault and to not hate himself.

The detective wanted to know when the next time he and Rand had contact was and he told how he'd gone to the pier and met a kid down there who he offered to pay to cut the chip out of his back for him. He explained how they'd gone back to his hotel room to remove the chip and that Rand had showed up just after it was taken out of his back. The detectives seemed surprised at the revelation that the microchip had been real. Rolston asked what happened to it and he told him that he flushed it down the toilet. He talked about how he'd been high and let Rand stitch the wound closed and that the man had left while he was passed out.

"When was the next time you saw him?" Hurst asked.

"The next day," Cloud said. "He came to tell me that he didn't think it was a good idea for me to be in Junon any longer and that he had called his lawyer to come back from vacation so that I could have the paperwork he'd agreed to transfer to me. He said goodbye and that was it."

For a moment, Hurst seemed confused, his brow furrowing a little. "But you saw him again there after that?"

Cloud nodded. "I had sent the paperwork back home to Zack and left Junon finally. I was like four hours south when I got a call from a friend at Shinra. He told me about Koda so I went back."

Hurst wrote down the information. "For our records," he said then, "Koda was the result of an in vitro fertilization using a sample that was obtained from you by the former head of the science department at Shinra?"

"I gave it to him," Cloud confirmed uncomfortably, hoping they weren't going to want details.

"Under threat," Zack jumped in suddenly. "Just thought that might be important to note," he added when the detectives looked at him but didn't say anything.

Finally, Cloud was able to read how he might be feeling from his tone. He sounded frustrated. He didn't know if that frustration was at him, hearing how he'd had so much contact with Rand that could be seen as voluntary, or if it was at the detectives. Maybe it was just everything.

"He told Rand to get it from me," Cloud explained of the sample before they could ask anything about it. "I refused to give it initially, until Rand was going to force me to give it. He was going to take it if…anyway I gave it to him. He gave it to Hojo. He said it was for testing. But it ended up at a clinic and being used for fertilization."

"I'm sorry you went through that," Hurst said.

It took Cloud off-guard a little. He didn't expect the response.

The detective took a deep breath then and went on with his next question, asking why he'd gone back to Junon after learning about his child. He told him it was because he was angry and that he was sure Rand must have had something to do with what had happened. He wanted answers and he admitted he imagined hitting Rand and that he did hit him when he confronted him at his apartment. He explained that Rand pretended to know nothing about his son and that he believed him at the time. He recounted how he wanted to leave and that was the first time Rand stopped him.

He still didn't really know why he'd done it, but he admitted to staying and getting drunk with Rand. He remembered how distraught he'd felt. That's the only way he could really explain it to himself when thinking back. He didn't care what could happen to him in the moment.

Hurst asked him what ended up happening that night and all he revealed was that he'd gotten drunk and left the apartment at some point and that he'd talked to Zack after his friend called him to check in. Zack was clearly shocked to find out where he'd been when he called him. He left out the part about being on the roof and contemplating jumping and only said he'd been so intoxicated he ended up at the hospital but doesn't know who called an ambulance to get him there. It wasn't Rand.

"When was the next time you saw Cane?" Hurst asked him and he told him that it was a few days later.

"A friend from Midgar, Reno, he was visiting the city," he recalled. "We met up and he told me Zack was out in Costa del Sol and was having a hard time. I decided the next day I as going to go out there to see him."

"You did?" Zack asked and Cloud looked at him, nodding a little.

"That was the plan," he confirmed softly before facing the detectives again. "I needed to go get my bike though. I'd left it at Rand's place along with my keys. The day I was going to leave Junon I stopped by the fairgrounds first to see someone I knew."

"An associate of Rand's?" Rolston asked and he shook his head.

"No. He has nothing to do with anything. Just a friend. We made plans to meet up later before I was going to leave the city. Then I went to Rand's to get my keys and my bike. He let me come in and look for my keys. While I was in his apartment some guy showed up, a neighbor or son of a neighbor, I dunno," he explained slowly.

He felt himself getting a little anxious suddenly as he remembered and forced himself to talk about what happened that day, how everything had felt like it had shifted in an instant. How Rand had shifted from one version of himself to another entirely and he hadn't seen it coming. He should have. He felt that he should have.

"The guy had some mail for Rand that was put in his father's mailbox instead. Rand was out of the room when he was talking to me," he went on. "He asked me if I was Rand's cousin and if I had a baby boy. He said Rand had had a baby boy in the apartment at some point and he claimed it was his cousin's baby. The guy told me that the kid looked like me. That's when I realized Rand had lied about not knowing anything about Koda. The neighbor, or whatever, left and Rand pulled a gun on me."

"Right after the neighbor left?" Hurst asked him.

"Yeah. I don't know if he pulled the gun because he heard us talking or if he was already planning to do…whatever."

"What happened then?"

"He tried to put me in handcuffs and I fought back. We ended up on the floor and I got the gun away from him but he got on top of me and had me in a hold. I couldn't do anything with the gun. I heard someone at the door then. Another resident must have heard us. I tried to yell for help and he got his arm around my neck and choked me out."

"Did you black out?" Hurst questioned as he was quickly scrawling in his notepad and looking down. Up until that point he'd only been casually writing things down.

"Yeah it was fast," Cloud confirmed a little flatly, trying to just relay what he remembered without actually thinking about what he'd been feeling and how scared he'd actually been, or how Rand would end up doing the same thing to him weeks later. "I was only out seconds. It was long enough for him to get the gun back and get the cuffs on me. He taped my mouth and got me into the closet in his bedroom so he could go answer the door."

"He spoke with someone?" Rolston asked as he was taking down some notes as well.

"I guess yeah," Cloud said. "He came back a minute later and said it was a woman who lived in one of the units below him."

As Zack listened, he was thinking about the information Johnny and Reno had come up with when they'd been at the apartment and their theory of what had happened there. Everything was lining up. It was difficult, though, for him to keep control of his own emotions as he listened. It was difficult to imagine that Johnny and Reno had been in the very spot where Cloud had been attacked and overpowered by Rand. He knew how terrifying that must have been for his friend when he realized he was in trouble and that he was alone and no one knew where he was.

Zack himself had also been on the receiving end of one of Rand's chokeholds back at the Spring Parade. He remembered easily how shocked he'd been to find himself overpowered and how quickly he'd found himself on the brink of unconsciousness. It was scary.

"What happened at that point?" Hurst inquired next.

"He had my phone. He texted back the guy I was going to meet for dinner later, pretending to be me and cancelled," Cloud replied.

"Who was it? That you were supposed to be meeting," Rolston asked. "Can we get a name so we can verify the details?"

Reluctantly, Cloud told him. "His name's Darius Marco." He really didn't want Marco involved and questioned.

"Phone number?" Rolston requested.

"It was in my phone," he said. "I don't have it anymore."

"I have the number." Zack said. "I can give it to you."

Cloud looked at him, confused. "Why do you have it?"

"He came by in Midgar," Zack told him. "To your apartment. He was worried about you."

Cloud was shocked to learn as much. Shocked that Marco had been that worried that he'd actually gone to his place to check on him, and shocked that he'd interacted with Zack, who he hadn't told about Marco.

"You saw him?" he asked, though it was clear he had. Zack just nodded and Cloud was forced to put aside any of what he wanted to say then because the interview was far from over.

He told how Rand called someone to bring him something to the apartment that he ended up using to drug him with. While he was incapacitated, Rand had packed up their belongings and must have had someone come get his bike from the parking garage.

That matched the evidence that Johnny and Reno had come up with as well, Zack remembered. He thought about the video from the parking lot and seeing Cloud walking away with Rand, luggage in hand, and getting into a vehicle with him. Although Zack had been fairly certain Cloud hadn't left with Rand willingly, it was difficult to not imagine that might be the case when looking at the footage. The thing no one had known though, was that Cloud's son was actually alive and Rand had him. Had him somewhere, with someone.

Zack listened to Cloud tell the detectives in front of them how he agreed to leave Junon without putting up a fight if Rand could prove that Koda was alive, and that's what Rand did apparently. He'd shown him footage from a nursery cam wherever his son was being kept. The detectives were very interested in what he saw in the footage. They spent several minutes asking questions about what the room looked like and anything he could tell about the person Rand had spoke to on the phone wherever Koda was being kept. They asked questions, too, about the tablet that Rand had shown the footage to Cloud on. They indicated that a few tablet devices had been collected as evidence in Aldohollow as well.

Zack hadn't wanted to show any real emotion while Cloud had been answering questions and giving his account of everything that had happened leading up to the time of his actual abduction from Junon. He thought he'd done a pretty good job considering at points he found himself getting so hot from how angry he was that he found himself breaking into a sweat. He wasn't angry or upset at Cloud for having kept it a secret that he'd been in contact with Rand in Junon, he was only sad about that. He felt like that was his fault. He felt like the arguments he'd had with Cloud about Rand in the past and how he'd made it openly known how much he hated him and how sick he believed the man was had made Cloud feel like he couldn't say anything to him.

He tried not to let on how upset he really was while sitting there mostly quiet next to Cloud, but when his friend talked about being driven to Aldohollow and how Rand had put him into the trunk of the car for the last part of the trip, he unfortunately wasn't able to stay stoic. He immediately thought of the mansion and how Hojo had put Cloud into what was basically a coffin. He'd done it to him again in Gongaga.

He knew the impact that specific torture had had on Cloud and the recurring nightmares he'd suffered because of it. He couldn't help imagining himself in Cloud's place, forced into the confined space of a trunk, trapped and unable to escape the nightmare by waking up. It was agonizing to think about. He didn't realize though how outwardly obvious it was that he was upset until Hurst stopped Cloud mid-sentence and addressed him instead.

"Zack."

"Hmm?" he hummed in return. He had his hands together, pressing against his face just under his nose as he was leaning forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees.

"We can take a break," the detective told him.

"No," he responded quickly, sitting himself up and back in his chair where he crossed his arms again loosely. "Sorry, I'm fine," he assured them.

With a short nod of acknowledgement, Hurst then had Cloud continue. Zack didn't realize that all he'd heard leading up to that point had in fact been like a walk in the park. The moment Cloud was stuck in Rand's house in Aldohollow, that's when the real hell began.

His friend talked about what happened at the house when they got there, how Rand had kept him handcuffed to the bed that he made him share with him the first night. He'd drugged him. The next day Rand had fortified the house, nailing or locking the windows shut and putting padlocks on the insides of the doors leading out of the house so that even if Cloud had tried to run out of the house he wouldn't be able to without a key. The man had also put a lock on the outside of the door to the room he'd kept Cloud in, so he wasn't able to get out when he didn't want him to.

Rand had kept his meds from him, had reduced the dosages, telling him he needed to come off of them. That was really sickening to hear as it had taken so long for Cloud to get relatively stabilized on the regimen he'd been on, and it sounded like he'd been really messed up while coming off of them abruptly. Hurst spared him from having to describe what happened every day that he was at the house, asking instead what was 'going on' while they were there together. Cloud said that it was a lot of discussion of their past and their relationship and what Rand wanted. He said there was discussion too about Koda and how Rand ended up with him. Cloud gave them as much information as he could remember about that.

Then, eventually, Cloud talked about one of the two people who'd been discovered deceased on Rand's property. Chip. Hurst identified him as Christopher Brinks, a prison escapee and Rand's cousin. Rand had come up with a cover story for his cousin for who Cloud was and why he was there. As far as Chip knew, they were in a relationship and Rand was helping to treat Cloud for some kind of substance addiction. Zack couldn't help rolling his eyes. He couldn't believe someone could witness another person being restrained in handcuffs and led around like he was on a leash and actually think it was okay or could be consensual. He supposed though, since Cloud said that Chip wasn't initially staying in the house with them, that maybe he just wasn't witnessing anything too questionable. Cloud said things changed when Chip did move in with them.

"Rand was freaking out," Cloud said. "He wanted to run. He got us in the car and started driving. Said we needed to get away because Chip was going to figure out the truth. I convinced him to go back. Thought it was better to be at that house he said he owned, in case someone figured out we were together. Thought it was my best chance of getting found."

"It was," Hurst agreed.

Zack knew that it was. Finding Cloud did depend upon him being at that house that they'd eventually traced Rand to.

"So you got Cane to go back," Hurst noted. "And Chip was staying in the house then. He didn't suspect at all that you weren't there because you wanted to be?"

Cloud shrugged a little. "I think he suspected it but…I dunno. It wasn't like he could do much. He was trying to lay low. A couple days ago…or…whenever it was now, I guess it's been more than a couple days now…" He shook his head to himself. "Whatever. I don't know where he saw it, but he had been out somewhere and saw a news story about me. He recognized me. I denied that it was me when he asked, but that night he got Rand out of the house and helped me escape anyway."

"Why didn't you tell him it was you?" Rolston questioned.

Cloud took a second before answering. "I was scared he'd say something to Rand. I was worried about what he'd do if he knew Chip knew."

"What did you think he might do?" was Rolston's following inquiry to that.

Cloud exhaled strongly, then told him, "I was pretty sure he'd just come up with a lie to tell Chip, and that he'd probably get me to lie too. But I figured there was a chance he'd try to move me out of the house again. Or that he'd do something violent, or something."

"Had he been violent while he had you confined to the property?" Hurst asked him.

Cloud looked away out the window then.

"A little yeah," he said.

"With you?"

He nodded.

"With Chip?"

"Not that I saw."

Hurst paused his questioning and wrote down a few things before asking, "Did he ever hit you, prior to the day you were found?"

"Yes," Cloud replied after a short hesitation.

Zack couldn't help but look at Cloud then but his friend had his gaze averted and didn't make eye contact with him.

"Chip witnessed that?" Hurst asked and Cloud confirmed.

"He broke up a fight. That was the night before he helped me escape."

Cloud recounted for the detectives and for Zack how Chip had pushed him to leave while Rand was out of the house. He'd told him where to go, down the road toward a trailer park where he could get help. He never made it. Rand came after him and found him, forced him back to his car where some police officers passing by in their cruiser spotted them and stopped. Cloud had witnessed Rand pull a handgun, seemingly ready to shoot the officers but Cloud stopped him. He lied to the officers, telling them he was fine. He was afraid of what Rand would do if he didn't. The detectives seemed surprised and perhaps a little annoyed with the fact the officers that night hadn't bothered to get their identification. Then, came the part of the story that proved it to be a true horror.

"We drove back to the house," Cloud relayed slowly. "When we got there I found out that…that…"

It was at that moment, Cloud realized, he wasn't going to be able to keep control of his emotions any longer. In his mind he saw what he'd seen that night when walking through the door of the house and he felt the same grief and regret that he'd felt that night. Tears were instantly springing to his eyes and he found himself struggling not to begin sobbing. Zack reached over the guardrail of the bed next to him and placed his hand on his forearm, squeezing it gently.

"It's okay, Spikey," Zack tried to comfort him. His heart ached when he saw Cloud on the verge of breaking down. Cloud held back from fully sobbing but with tear trails still streaking down his bruised face.

"He'd killed Chip," he told the detectives, his voice strained and quiet.

"You saw him?" Hurst asked, his tone also a little softer. Cloud only nodded. "Did he tell you he'd killed him?"

"Yes," Cloud said.

"Do you know how he killed him?"

"He shot him."

"Did he say why?"

"Because he'd 'interfered.' It was because he helped me, and because he was standing in the way of what Rand wanted," Cloud conveyed sadly.

"What happened after that?" Hurst asked in something of a gentler tone.

Cloud wiped at his eyes before continuing. He talked about how Rand forced him to drink something laced with drugs that night so that he'd be asleep while the man dealt with Chip's body. He told the detectives how he'd been injured outside while trying to get away and that it was pretty clear the next morning that the wound was infected. He said Rand gave him antibiotics to take and indicated to him that he was making plans to move them out of the house. Cloud was pretty sure that he was planning to move them someplace far away.

Cloud recounted how he'd found an old gun under the floorboards in his room and hid it under the bed. The following day it was clear the infection was getting out of control and that's when Rand told him he would go find someone who could help and bring them back to the house to treat him. Fearing he was planning to kidnap someone and eventually kill them, he told Rand how much he hated him and that he wouldn't let him hurt anyone else. That he'd rather die than spend another day with him.

Rand had claimed he was going to bring him to town to let him go, but Cloud didn't believe him. When Rand returned to his room with a prepped syringe he pulled the gun he'd hidden under the bed. Rand advanced on him and he tried to fire the gun, only it didn't go off. That's when Rand pulled his own gun and was going to shoot Cloud. Cloud tried firing the gun a second time and it went off, the bullet striking Rand somewhere on the side of his head, grazing him. He wasn't fully incapacitated so Cloud ran, escaping the house through a window and heading for the woodlot at the back of the property. Rand went after him, firing his gun at him and hitting him in the back.

Cloud then told of how he knew of the small house on the property back in the woods and thought he could shelter in there and look for a weapon to defend himself with because he'd seen that Rand was coming after him with an axe. Rand eventually made it to the house where Cloud surprised him with and tried to take him down with a wrench. Rand was able to get the upper-hand again and tried to strike him with the axe.

Zack struggled again to keep it together as he listened to Cloud telling the detectives how he'd been backed into a corner and begged Rand not to kill him but the man still swung the axe at him. The blade broke off the handle when Cloud ducked and he struck the wall with it. Cloud said he wasn't sure what happened exactly but he knew he was hit from behind and landed hard facedown on the floor, the blow knocking him out for a few moments. He came back around with Rand standing over him and an awl he'd found alongside the wrench, he stabbed at the mans legs and then his torso while he was on the floor. Eventually he lost grip on the tool and Rand overpowered him, getting him into a chokehold.

Cloud wasn't sobbing but tears were flowing again, travelling down his face as he told how he couldn't get out of the hold and knew he probably wouldn't wake up again. He said he blacked out but that he did wake up, only, when he woke up, he was in the cellar under the house. Rand must have dragged him there. He said he thought he remembered Rand pouring something onto him while he was lying there and his consciousness was returning slowly. He remembered when he finally woke up his clothes and hair were damp and he saw that there was an empty lighter fluid bottle next to him along with strewn matches.

And then…he realized he wasn't alone in the cellar. The detectives had known who Chip was when his body was found. They still hadn't identified the woman that they had found. Cloud gave them her first name. Annalena. She had been his son's mother, and she wasn't supposed to be there. As far as Cloud knew, she was supposed to be with Koda, because he'd at some point convinced Rand to give Koda back to her.

Zack was shocked to hear that Cloud had actually witnessed the exchange of his son from Rand's accomplices to Annalena. In fact, he'd had a moment to speak to his son. It was heart wrenching to hear how he'd essentially bartered for his son's freedom, giving up his own in the process. He didn't know how Anna ended up dead on Rand's property, but when he discovered she was dead, he realized Rand had deceived him and that he had no idea where Koda was. Injured and bleeding, he managed to get out of the cellar and find Rand barely alive. One of the injuries he'd inflicted to him, Cloud realized, had been fatal.

"I begged him to tell me where Koda is," Cloud said, his voice quiet and strained at that point. "I…I think he tried to tell me, but…he wasn't able to get the words out. I told him I'd get help but it was too late."

The room was quiet then for a moment except for the sounds the monitor was making next to Cloud.

"Rand had his burner phone on him," Cloud said then. "There was no signal in the house so I went outside. I was having a hard time moving and breathing. I was so tired," he remembered, shutting his eyes as he thought about it. "I didn't know where I was so there was no point in trying to call the police or anything. I decided to just call Zack. That's…it," he concluded softly.

Hurst shifted back to when Cloud mentioned the exchange that happened of Koda between Rand's accomplices and Anna. He wanted to get down everything he remembered about the vehicle belonging to the accomplices or about the people themselves. Unfortunately, Cloud wasn't able to tell them much. Cloud was also asked questions about Rand's relationship with Anna and Cloud gave them the rundown of what Rand had told him about how he'd searched out Koda's mother and lied to her about who he was so that she would trust him and he could get close to her. The detectives were interested especially in any dates or locations or anything of that nature but Cloud didn't have that information to give.

The interview had gone on for more than an hour and it was obvious at that point that Cloud was probably in pain and getting tired. Zack was the one to ask the detectives how much more they thought they needed to know and Hurst indicated there was just one more thing that had to be addressed and answered for their file. Zack was sure Cloud hadn't been expecting what it was. He hadn't expected it either.

"Given what was noted in the document that you signed at the beginning of this interview, we need to ask if during your time in Aldohollow with Cane, there were any forced or coerced sexual interactions or unwanted sexual contact between the two of you?"

The man had asked the question plainly, though something in his voice did seem to suggest he recognized it was a sensitive subject and difficult thing to talk about. Zack looked at Cloud nervously when he didn't respond. Cloud was looking down. His brow was furrowed. He saw a single tear drop from his left eye that fell to the hospital blanket that was covering him.

Zack felt his stomach and his heart sinking as he looked at him. He knew the answer. He was pretty sure the detectives knew the answer as well, just from observing Cloud's silent reaction to the question. They needed him to say it though. Zack found himself shaking his head then and looking at Hurst directly.

"Does this matter if he's dead?" he asked the detective.

"It does in terms of getting as complete a picture as possible for the case file and report that we'll need to complete to close out the case," the man replied.

"How much detail…" Cloud started to inquire quietly, still not looking up.

"We don't need any detail. There's just a few quick questions," Hurst promised. "There were incidents of unwanted contact then?" he asked and Cloud gave a small nod in return. "Are you able to give a number?"

"Two times," Cloud answered through an exhale. "That I know of," he added.

"That you know of?"

Cloud looked up at him then, quickly wiping away another tear that had been able to run down his face. He cleared his throat and then explained. "There was one other time I thought maybe. I was drugged and couldn't remember. I woke up in his bed with nothing on. He said he couldn't remember what happened either. I think he was just messing with me, trying to make me think something happened. I don't know for sure either way."

"That's alright," Hurst assured him. "During the two instances that you do recall, was there intercourse?" he asked.

Cloud looked back in the direction of the window to his other side, away from Zack and the detectives as he answered that and the next question without any emotion in his tone.

"Yes," he said.

"Protection?"

"No."

"Did he use any measures of physical control during either of these instances?" Hurst asked him and Cloud did look back at him, not sure what he was meaning exactly. Hurst realized quickly and clarified. "Just meaning, did he do anything to restrain you or stop you from trying to get away or prevent what was happening?"

"Yeah, I guess," Cloud agreed.

He didn't want to but he thought of what had happened in Rand's bathroom. Even with his eyes closed he could see the man's reflection in the mirror in front of them, as Rand was holding him in place at the counter, a hand around his neck. He remembered the utter helplessness he felt…

"That's all," Hurst said then. "We really appreciate you allowing us to talk with you today." The man smiled a little uneasily as he was packing up his notepad and pen. "You're very strong for making it through what you have," he commended softly. "Did you have any questions for us?"

Cloud thought about it briefly. There was something he did want to know.

"Did he actually pour lighter fluid over me?" he had to really force the words out.

Hurst nodded first in response before giving verbal confirmation, "We believe so, yes."

Although Rand had done so many terrible things to him in the past and in Aldohollow, that was the one thing Cloud found he was having the hardest time coming to grips with. He didn't know why the man didn't ultimately follow through with setting fire to him, but the fact he'd thought about it and actually gone so far as to douse him with the fluid and retrieve matches to commit the offense was very difficult to think about. The man had said he'd meant everything to him on one hand, but was ready to fully destroy and incinerate whatever he could of him.

He'd been alive when Rand put him in the cellar. The man had nearly burned him alive.

"Is there anything…" Hurst began to ask if he had any other questions but he shook his head. "Alright," the man acknowledged. "We'll leave our cards so that you'll be able to contact us if you have any questions about how the search for your son is going or if you have any other information that you want to give us," he said, taking Rolston's card from him and setting it on the tray table with his own.

Cloud just looked at them, not reaching to take them right then. "Did you need any contact information for any support services?" Hurst asked and Cloud shook his head slowly. "If you end up wanting it later, you can just give me a call." He stood up then along with his partner.

"If you haven't already, you should speak to your nurse or doctor about getting tested for STIs, just…in case," he said.

"Yeah," Cloud responded barely audibly. He just wanted them to leave at that point. He didn't really want to think about being tested for sexually transmitted infections right then, even if it was true that he should be getting it done. He'd had testing done a few weeks prior to leaving on his road trip to Junon and had been negative then so if anything were to show up now, he'd know where it came from.

Thinking of it made him nervous. Rand had basically chastised him and insinuated he had no self-worth for sleeping with the number of people he had, noting it to be dangerous. And yet, the man hadn't used protection with him. That seemed either pretty reckless on Rand's part, or maybe he already knew he was infected with something so he didn't really care. He couldn't think about it right then.

His mind checked out at that point. He knew the detectives were still talking. Zack stood up and seemed to reluctantly shake their hands. He guessed they were saying goodbye. When Hurst said something else to him, he just nodded slightly. Finally then, they were leaving his hospital room.

"You did really well, buddy," Zack said to him as he came to sit next to him once more. "I know that had to be really difficult to talk about all of it. Especially with police."

Cloud nodded once more. His eyes were down.

"You were right, Zack," he said softly without looking up.

"Right?" Zack asked back, not knowing what he was talking about.

"About Rand," Cloud clarified. "He knew what he was doing back in Midgar, when he got me to do everything we did. He told me he knew he took advantage," he revealed slowly. "That he knew I wasn't capable of deciding it's what I wanted."

Zack watched him as he spoke. For a moment he went quiet but Zack was sure he wasn't finished with what he wanted to say so he waited. Cloud took a deeper inhale and seemed to sink a little against the mattress of the hospital bed.

"He argued that it wasn't rape though," he muttered then. "Except for maybe the one time."

Zack couldn't contain his subtle eyeroll fully. Cloud didn't see it though, his eyes being down. "Right," he responded a little sharper than he wanted to. "I bet he had a justification to give you."

Cloud nodded slowly and divulged what that justification had been. "That he was always caring. That he did what he could to make sure he didn't hurt me. He agreed he took advantage. That what he did was wrong. But it wasn't rape."

The silence that came after that was much heavier. Zack exhaled hard and rubbed at his face with his hands. He did his best to remain calm.

"What do you think?" he asked Cloud in a gentler tone than he'd been able to manage before.

"That it was," Cloud said.

"It was," Zack replied softly.

"I did sleep with him though," Cloud told him then as he raised his head and pressed it back against the pillow behind it. He looked forward as he spoke, not at Zack. "Back at that house. One of those two…incidents." He used the term the detective had used. "He didn't make me do it," he claimed.

"Did you want to?" Zack questioned.

"No," Cloud denied. "I was drunk. He came on to me. I went with it," he explained tonelessly. "It felt like the right time to get it over with. I figured he would find a way to make it happen eventually so…I thought if I did it and he was happy with it then he might trust me more. Might be willing to let Koda go. It worked. I thought." Very quickly then, tears built up against his eyes. "I'm so stupid," he remarked in a broken voice as his renewed tears started to make their way down the trails forged by those before, shed during his interview.

"No you're not," Zack argued quickly. "He put you in a position where you didn't have a choice but to do whatever you thought you had to in order to protect yourself and your child," he tried to reassure Cloud. "I'd do the same," he told him.

Cloud turned his head to look at him then.

"You'd do the same?" he questioned Zack in a stronger tone. "You really think that?" he challenged and didn't give Zack a chance to respond before he went on. "You wouldn't have even been there in that position," he said. "Rand thought he couldn't live without me and I slept with him," he told Zack heatedly then. "I gave him a reason to think I might actually want him one day. He was willing to kill his own flesh and blood to keep me because he believed that. What I did got both Chip and Koda's mother killed."

Zack shook his head adamantly.

"Rand killed them, not you. That's not on you, Spike," he tried to tell him but it didn't make a difference.

"Anna was fine," Cloud said. "She was alive. She'd still be alive if I hadn't tried to get Rand to give Koda to her. If Koda is alive still, and he's found, how is he going to feel when he asks about his mother and learns that he didn't get to know her because of that?"

Zack released a shaky exhale before replying. He felt like his whole body was starting to tremble anxiously. He hated that Cloud was actually feeling guilty for things that Rand caused and he had to really try not to let how much he hated it turn his tone angry.

"I'm sure he'd understand and see that it was because of a decision Rand made, not you," he told Cloud as surely as he could manage. Cloud looked away from him, scoffing a little under his breath. "Look," Zack said while watching his friend wipe the tears off his face with his hands, "you can't focus on that right now. You need to focus on getting stronger and healthier again, okay? One day at a time."

Cloud didn't respond to that. He looked so exhausted. Actually, he looked defeated. Zack couldn't think of what to say to him to make him feel better, even just a little. Before he was able to come up with something, Cloud spoke again.

"Zack?" he said his name in a flattened tone once more but it sounded like there was a question coming.

"Yeah, buddy," he answered softly.

"There's a reason I wanted you to hear that interview with the cops," Cloud told him.

So maybe not a question…

"It's so you would understand," Cloud said.

"Understand?"

Cloud's voice fell to a near whisper when he conveyed sadly, "This really wrecked me."

"No," Zack said, leaning in closer to him, reaching over the guardrail to squeeze his closest arm in comfort. "No, it didn't."

Cloud met his eyes and what Zack saw actually scared him, because he really did actually look broken.

"I was ready to go, Zack," he uttered quietly. "Out in the woods. I accepted it."

It, meaning death. Zack knew that's what he was talking about.

"It wasn't your time," Zack told him simply and Cloud argued.

"Yes, it was. If they hadn't brought me back in the air ambulance, I'd be gone now."

Zack shook his head to that. He placed his hand on the side of Cloud's head and used his thumb to wipe away some of the wetness from his tears.

"Spikey, I can't imagine going through what you have, but I can understand how you're feeling," he told his friend. "I promise that I'll take care of you. I'm going to make sure you make it through this, okay?"

Cloud shook his head just a little, barely moving under his hand.

"I don't want to make it through," he replied, making Zack's hand fall away. Zack sat back in his chair, feeling like the breath had just been kicked from him. He had to look away from Cloud as he was processing what it sounded like he was saying. Cloud went on then.

"Zack, I need you to promise that you're going to take care of Koda if he's found."

Zack closed his eyes tightly then. "I—he—he's going to be found, Spike," he stuttered back before looking at Cloud straight again. "And he's going to need his dad," he stated firmly.

"A dad," Cloud replied, making Zack instantly more frustrated. "I trust you to love him like I would. To raise him right."

"Cloud," Zack said his name sternly.

"You'll do it won't you?" Cloud asked him, his voice wavering a little then.

Huffing, Zack sat back and crossed his arms tightly. "No," he said in return.

"No?" was Cloud's weak reply. He sounded surprised by Zack's response.

Zack stood up fast then before answering him sharply. "No, Cloud, no. You're not doing this," he told him as he started to pace a little next to the bed. "You're not just giving up and ditching me now. No way! That's not fair. You're my best friend. You're my damn family!" he pointed out to Cloud angrily then. "I don't want to lose that now. No. If you go, I'll go too. Screw it!"

Cloud was taken aback and clearly hurt by what he was saying.

"Don't say that," he pleaded.

"What?" Zack threw back at him shakily, his body trembling from his panic-fueled adrenaline. "If that's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me," he argued. It was going too far. He knew it but he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't sit there and accept that Cloud was just going to let himself die, or worse than that hope for it or actually do something to bring it on.

Cloud began breaking down then. He put his hands to his face as he burst into tears and his shoulders were shaking slightly.

"You don't get it, Zack," he said through his tears and from under his hands. "I don't want to live having to remember what he did to me," he cried. "Having to remember how he held me to the floor as he choked me to death, telling me he's sorry and that he loves me as he's killing me! That he was going to just dump me in a cellar and set me on fire. Do you think that knowing and accepting he's a rapist and a murderer makes any of this bearable?" he asked as he lowered his hands and looked directly at Zack. "People died because of me. You're going to force me to live with that, Zack? You're going to use the fact that I care about you so much to keep me where I don't want to be?"

"Oh god," Zack breathed out in utterance to himself, more than Cloud.

Feeling his legs getting weak under him he stepped back over to the chair next to the bed and all but collapsed into it as he nearly found himself breaking down completely. He had his own tears running down his face then as he felt like his heart was actually pulling apart inside his chest.

"Spike. No," he spoke through his anguish and shame, "I—I won't. Of course, I won't," he told him sadly. "No. I don't want you to live in that kind of torture. I could never ask you to live in pain like that." He reached over the guardrail of the bed to take hold of Cloud's one hand in both of his, squeezing it tightly. "I take it back. I—of course I will raise Koda," he assured him as he looked into Cloud's eyes, "and I'll give him everything. I'll love him like I love you. I promise I'll do that if you're not here. And as hard as it is to think about, I will support you no matter what. If you can't keep going, if you need to go…I will let you go. I will. If that time comes. But it's not time. It's not. Please. Please just…just wait. Fight a little longer. Please."

Cloud looked away from him, his eyes ahead at the wall. It didn't seem like Cloud was willing to fight. Zack struggled to come up with anything he could to save his friend in that moment because he felt like he was losing him right that instant.

"Just…can we just make a deal?" he asked. He knew he sounded desperate. Cloud looked at him again.

"What deal?"

"Just promise me that you'll fight to get better here and just get out of this place. Out of the hospital," he pleaded. "Get yourself well enough to get out of here and after that, whatever you want…" Zack shut his eyes a second. He had to force himself to finish his stipulation. "Whatever you think you need to do…"

He let himself imagine if Cloud actually did one day down the line decide he couldn't or didn't want to live and did end his own life. It wasn't like he hadn't worried about him in the past and feared he might do something like that. This was different. He could see how serious about it Cloud was in that moment. He had to force himself to look at that possible day that he didn't want to face or believe would ever come and he made himself look past it. He had to believe that if that day did come, he'd make it through it and survive, without Cloud if that was what he had to do.

"I won't stop you," he concluded for Cloud.

He didn't think Cloud actually believed that.

"Not stop me? Not try to talk me out of it?" he asked back doubtfully.

All Zack could do was shake his head in confirmation. He couldn't actually verbally respond because he was thinking the exact opposite. Of course he'd try to stop him and talk him out of it. But he needed Cloud to accept the deal.

"Okay," Cloud said after a long tense moment of thought.

Zack wished that gave him more than the barely ounce of relief that it did.