Chapter 1: Big Regrets and Bigger Decisions

Squidward has stumbled upon an opportunity to achieve his dreams, but it seems that life isn't pulling any punches (And so is he, Lol!). I think new changes need to be implemented.

It's sad that Squidward is the absolute perfect example of the worst parts of adulthood. The parts where we have given up on our child-like dreams and seemingly embraced the cruel and painful reality of life. I don't particularly like Squidward, but I understand how he is frustrated with his life.

Chapter 1: Big Regrets and Bigger Decisions

It was another ordinary morning in Bikini Bottom. Through the waters, the sun's rays were illuminating all the areas of the ocean floor. The inhabitants of said area were waking up to start another work of fun and satisfaction…well some of them.

On 122 Conch Street, resided the house of a Squidward J.Q. Tentacles, who has "happily" lived in this house for many, many years. As the sun's rays peaked through the porthole window of his room, smothering his face with the stinging annoyance of the sun's disposition; that seem to mock the man's peaceful slumber.

With a grumble, the squid was trying his best to shift, and hide from the blasted natural alarm clock, that had no snooze button.

"Ugh, fine…" With a groan, he reluctantly woke up, starting his day and already missing the sweet allure of the 100 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.

Honestly, Squidward would have preferred to sleep in this morning, as well as all the other mornings, if it meant he did not have to go to a dead end, accursed, minimum wage job that he hated with a passion. For years he had been at the same workplace, slaving away to fill the pockets of a cheap, greedy, swindling, slave driving, bottom feeder, Eugene H. Krabs. Every day he would waste the day away, taking orders from customers who have no culinary taste and busting his butt, cleaning the messes left by those heathens. The worst part of work was the constant annoyance of a particular yellow sponge.

"Well…better get this day over with." Getting dressed in only his brown shirt and official Krusty Krab "uniform", a hat. As he opened the door, leading out of his home, like clockwork the robust and chaotic sound of his neighbor's alarm clock sounded.

Rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Great, the buffoon is awake." He grumbled to himself, not waiting for the impending chatter of him, left walk fast with new/old purpose; to get away from SpongeBob.

"BaAaAaAaAaAaAa!" Came the sound of wrecking, as the pineapple dwelling rocked and shook at the early morning routine of the square headed ball of annoyance. To Squidward's horror, the door to the house slammed open and the individual's voice came booming out.

"I'M READY!" With the tact and enthusiasm of a raging bull during matador season. As SpongeBob looked around, he spotted his neighbour, co-worker and long-time unwilling friend…

"SQUIDWARD! HEY, SQUIDWARD!" Running after him, so they may walk to work together, much to his "friend's" disdain and utter disgust.

'Can't that rube take a hint? Seriously, after all these years, he can't just leave me al-' "Squidward!" His thoughts were interrupted when the object of his frustration almost tackled him in to an impromptu morning greeting hug.

Barely getting his bearings, the taller being groaned, sliding the pest off him, much to the others confusion.

"Seriously SpongeBob, can't I get one morning where I am not nearly tackled or forced in to one of your absurd hugs?!" He exclaimed, staring at the individual with a look of annoyance.

The Sponge didn't pay much attention. "Oh Squidward, don't be like that. I know you love my greetings. It's my way of sharing the happiness of us getting to work at one of the best places in all of Bikini Bottom." He punctuated it with a fit of laughter that only exacerbated the Squid further.

With a twitch of his eye, he didn't want to waste more time than he had to with the sponge, turning on his heels; he walked away faster than he did before. "Oh ah, Squidward?…Wait up buddy!" The sponge realized his friend was gone and ran off after him, thinking he just wanted to get to work early.

(-)

-Krusty Krabs-

The working hour is just as tedious and meaningless as it has always been, 'Just like my life'. He was placed at his normal position, behind the cash register, where he took the incoming customer's order and delegated it to the fry cook; when ready, would pass over ready certain orders back over to customers. From 8.30 to 5, it would have been earlier if Krabs got his way, but the law was Squids side for once. Standing next to an open window that lead to the kitchen, releasing the smell of grease and oils in to the air for him to intoxicate on.

"SpongeBob, I need two Krabby patties with regular fries and medium soda with ice!" He hollered at the sponge, tapping the bell according to routine.

"On it!" The sponge happily accepted.

After a while, the line of customers for the morning rush got light and business was chill, well...until the lunch rush but it's okay.

Squidward usually took this opportunity to take a late morning nap, seeing as there was no break room provided by the cheap crustacean, so he would sleep in the boat he worked in. But today, he wanted to do someone that he has genuinely been finding himself do at odd times. He would take out his phone and play certain music videos on FishTube. But not just any other music videos, but some of his favorite orchestra performances. He would often times just listen to them and feel a sense of short-lived joy before he felt a sense of envy, jealousy and whole case of self-pity about his life.

He just couldn't help feeling like his has amounted to basically nothing, and he was not being dramatic. He has spent the better part of his life chasing his dreams and falling short on them for so long; thinking he was about hit they next step of his career but losing out at the end. If it wasn't for the little jobs he does on the side as well as help from his mother to support his wellbeing, he would have gone homeless longtime ago; no thanks to this job that pays in peanuts.

He was busy enthralled in his video watching and stirring of mixed emotions, that he did not notice the boss beside him.

"MR. SQUIDWARD!" That booming voice caused the employee to freak out and drop his phone; causing it to have a crack on the screen.

"What in Neptune's beard are you doing, wasting time on that blasted phone?" Mr. Krabs demanded of the squid.

Squid in normal fashion, rolled his and gave a short grumble at the crab's attitude. "If you want to know, sir. I was just taking a little break while, seeing as we hardly have any customers at the moment." Gesturing to the nearly empty establishment to emphasize his point. The crab still did not look please, but put on a suspiciously phony smile.

"Oh I see. Let's just remedy that." He walked over to his office, taking his personal working clocking that Krabs often uses to define their working hours. He took hold of the little hand of the clock, aiming at 11:45, before turning it clockwise to 1pm. To everyone's shock but Krabs' own, a mob of hungry residents of Bikini Bottom stormed in to the restaurant, making a long to the cash register.

Squidward was floored to see that many hungry faces, and what's worse, it was the cheapskate's doing.

Smiling, eyes a lit with dollars before turning back to normal, he turned back to his lazy employee. "Now that deals with that little problem. Now hurry up and take all their mon- I mean orders. And Mr. Squidward, I pay you to make me money, not lollygagging with some useless show case…thingy." Finishing barking orders, the crabs left to his office, leaving a frustrated squid to his suffering.

"Hey buddy." Squidward was brought back from his angry thoughts, by a customer demanding for his attention. "Yeah you pal. Geez. I have been trying to get your attention for some minutes here, I'm hungry for lunch here." The entitled customer rudely remarked.

'Doesn't even know that it's not lunchtime.' Stepping away from his thoughts. He focused on the task imposed on him.

The shift was as usual to his expectations. Dreadful. He finished at five, but Krabs wanted them to work for 2 hours more, siting that it was around this time where people would come by and get take out; meaning that they would have to work overtime without any pay.

"Mr. Krabs, that's unfair." Squidward voiced out as being the only sane person (and that's not saying much) to complain about the ridiculous orders.

Mr. Krabs would normally pay no mind to the man's whines but felt particularly annoyed today.

"Mr. Squidward, pray tell, what plans do you have for this evening?" The little smirk felt like a jab to Squidward's, him knowing the answer already.

"Exactly. Now, it's either you get back to work or your fired!" He yelled, narrowing his, he left feeling satisfied with himself. Squidward was beside himself with bottled up anger that he was about to let it out, until…he just calmed down.

"Cheap old miser." He grumbled under his breath, heading back to his work position. For the next couple more hours, customers came and left, and with each minute passed, Squidward dreaded the job more and more.

He was on his way home, after an emotional day at work, mostly on his part, as he was that close to going all Man Ray on that cheapskate's butt. With a quiet enough walk home, after initially running like a mad man being chased by a bear fish from the restaurant; trying to give enough space between him and SpongeBob.

He was just about to open the door to his house until-

"Squidward!" Well that moment was short-lived. "Of course." Muttering under his voice, he still proceeded to open his door, but SpongeBob blocked his path with a big grin.

"Wasn't that a great day Squidward, huh? Getting to stay a little later after work, providing our services to a right cause; feeding the hungry patrons of Bikini Bottom." Squidward was gripping on straws to not yell at the annoying twit in front of him, he had no energy to explain to the individual that he does not want to talk. He tried the high road though.

Taking a deep breath, "Look, SpongeBob, I really just want to get inside and enjoy some simple peace and quiet, so may you please ju-", unfortunately he could not finish.

"Oh Squidward, I understand that with all that fun, it would be tiring. But don't worry, we have all our lives to have fun at the Krusty Krab!" The excitement from that statement had two different effects. To the Sponge, it was like a reminder of heaven in the ocean but…to the Squid. It was like his own personal hell that he could never escape. With that, SpongeBob left a distraught squid.

As if on autopilot, Squidward opened his door, letting himself in, to close right back behind him. He goes over to the kitchen, turning on the kettle, to make some green tea (even in his state of autopilot, he subconsciously knows that green tea soothes him after a bad day.) and places some left over kelpghetti and meatballs in the microwave. Still in a state of melancholy, he went upstairs, while the food and tea were warming up.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he walked across his hallway, stopping by a door to his right, he opens it, to enter his art studio. Taking a step inside, the door closed behind him with a quiet click. If it wasn't for the sound of his breath, you would have thought that a ghost stayed in that room, much less the house.

He took a couple steps forward to an esel that stood at the far corner, that had his latest "masterpiece" on it. He was right in front of the painting and he felt tears run down his face at the work, not of joy or pride; but of the knowledge that it will never be in a museum. He further looked around to see so many music sheets he had composed that will never be heard. He just felt more and more tears slide down his face, at the thought of his life being a waste; with him being stuck at the Krusty Krab forever.

After his moment of despair of sadness, Squidward dusted himself off and went downstairs to try and enjoy the food and tea he prepared. He sat on the couch in the living room, where he decided to have his dinner. He turned on the radio that was on the stand next to him, hoping for some music to soothe his nerves and go with the meal he had. A chorus played and Squidward felt much lighter, as he was about to dig in to his kelpghetti, an announcement was made that nearly knocked him off his seat.

"HELLO BIKINI BOTTOM MUSICIANS! SORRY TO INTERUPT OUR BROADCASTED MUSIC, BUT WE HAVE EXCITING NEWS! AS A WAY OF CELEBRATING ARTS AND ALL ITS RICHNESS, WE ARE ACCEPTIG WORKS FROM UNDISCOVERED ARTISTS AND ONES WE LIKE BEST WILL BE FEATURED IN OUR ORCHESTRA CONCERT OR MUSEUM! YOU HAVE A WEEK FROM NOW TO COMPOSE/PAINT AND SEND YOUR WORK, GOODLUCK!"

Squidward was in a total daze at that, finally an opportunity has presented itself to him and he is not going to waste.

"I have to get started!" Off he went, like a man with new purpose.

Squidward spent the following week writing sheets after sheets of songs or working on ideas to painting he had in mind. Sure work has been more demanding but he endured it, in order to get focus on the bigger picture in front of him (ha ha, art, picture.). Everything will be worth it, when they send his acceptance email and he will finally be happy with himself.

A week later, from the same day he had received the news of the competition. Squidward was at work, barely able to focus, not like he did before then but, hey. He was distracted, eyes looking back and forth to his screen cracked phone, awaiting the email that could make or break his career if so wished. In that time span, he has gotten a couple of customer's orders wrong, has blatantly ignored a few others and those that did get his attention, were met with insults that would make a tough biker, cry to his mother. This would not be unusual for said squid, but it has intensified for the last couple of days, ever since he submitted his work.

'Come on, come on. These competition people have got to reply back.' He thought to himself, as he patiently, impatiently waited for the notification to flash on his phone. Throughout 3/4's of the shift, he was like this, literally clutching the phone for dear life; siting that this was his last chance of happiness.

As it was 30 minutes before the two employees shift concluded, SpongeBob was in his own world, cleaning up the kitchen, making it presentable and prepared for tomorrow's work day. Squidward more or less calmed down and surprisingly went on to work; doing so to distract himself from clutching so desperately to the home.

He was wiping down a table at the corner of the restaurant, his phone in the boat. As he was busy wiping it down, he was deep in thought. 'Hmph, it was ridiculous of me to get so out of control over stupid competition. Ha. I am a talented artist and they could only be so lucky to pick me from this lame event. Honestly, I don't even care if they call me or even do-' He did not not get to finish his train of thought before his phone's notification rang out and like a distance runner, charged over to the place where his phone was and ddived in to answer it. Unfortunately, doing so, he literally left a path of distraction in his wake: turned of tables, broken chairs, trail of skid marks and fire leading up to the boat; and as he dived in, he caused the cash register to fly up and land down with a crash, essentially breaking it.

That was not good, for you see, anyone who has pretty much frequented the establishment, knows two things: The Krabby Patty secret formulae is NOT for sale and YOU. DO. NOT! Mess with the owners money. And oh boy, was it going to be bad.

"Gasp!" SpongeBob was first on the scene, shocked. He was looking around, witnessing all the broken pieces and scattered money.

Then, with a loud blast, the door to Mr. Krabs office sprang open, with an angry red face; more red than before.

As the Krab came in shouting on the top of his voice with a Sponge fry cook, trying to mediate the situation.

Squidward was tuning out all the outside voices as he read the email on his phone with baited breath…

Dear Mr. Tentacles,

We have reviewed your works and have come to the conclusion that although that your style of work is unique, we do not believe that your talents are what we are looking for. We encourage you to keep working on it and hopefully we can review….

Dread washed over him as the realization at the intention of this letter was, it was a rejection letter. As reality has set in, he was all of the sudden made to be aware to his current surroundings and rising voices.

"…and another thing Mr. Squidward, you are the most lazy, unmotivated employee I have ever had the displeasure to hire! I will be docking this whole mess out of your check!" While Mr. Krabs was busy chewing out the zoned out squid, SpongeBob was worrying about the whole exchange, but worried him even more was that Squidward looked unresponsive after reading his mail. So with an unsurprisingly easy grab of his friend's phone, he managed to read it.

"Dear Mr. Squidward, we have reviewed your works…." He was busy scrolling through the man's letter, before realizing what it said. "Oh, Squidward…" He said, knowing full well how his friend must feel.

Squidward felt his phone taken away and reached back to swipe it back with a scowl. "WHO TOLD YOU TO READ THAT?!" He shouted.

SpongeBob didn't respond, just flinched at the outburst.

Mr. Krabs wasn't amused. "Mr. Squidward! I am talking to you!"

Squidward sighed. "Not now Mr. Krabs." Not having the strength for this.

Mr. Krabs wasn't having it. "Well Squidward, pray tell, when does your schedule free up for this discussion?"

"Mr. Krabs, I am not in the mood to handle whatever tantrum you are getting in to at the moment." Rolling his eyes at his boss.

"TANTRUM!?" At that moment, the crab seemed redder than usual. "Well aren't you clever? Shame how you didn't do anything with your so called smart mouth than work as a cashier!" He exclaimed at the squid.

Something along those lines hit a certain nerve in Squidward. "What…did you say?" Quirking an eyebrow at his boss.

"Um guys, maybe this isn't the best time-" SpongeBob wanted to say, but was drowned out by the argument brewing.

"Oh, I think you know what I said, just not what I meant. So let me break it down for you my boy. You boast about how you know such "class" and "etiquette", but yet you are nothing more than a cashier with dead dreams. At least I own my own restaurant." He said very smugly. That made the vein on Squidward's forehead throb lightly.

SpongeBob took this opportunity to try and help out his coworker. "That's not true Mr. Krabs, Squidward is still chasing after his dreams. It's just that he got rejected by this prestigious competition that could have really set his life up for good and-" That was apparently more than enough ammunition for Mr. Krabs to play with; as he quickly swiped the phone away from Squidward, much to his reluctance.

He read through the mail, then gave a hearty laugh. "Ha! I knew this whole art stuff was a load of malarkey."

"How about you stuff it Eugene!" Squidward's blood was boiling.

"Mr. Squidward, let me lay the facts for you. You are a nobody artist who is nowhere closer to fame or this fortune you keep prancing after. The only people who will give a hoot about your art are your mother and SpongeBob and that's not saying much. You are a cashier and will always be a cashier, so you better ship shape that ego of yours and get back to work before I fire that fancy pants butt of yours." Squidward was too stunned in place at the moment. "Like honestly, you have a better chance of making something of yourself, as much as Plankton will be a total success without resulting to stealing something that isn't even his. And he calls himself a genius, ha, he's just sad an old wash up."

Oh that did it. Normally Squidward wouldn't let someone like Krabs get to him, he had 20 years of experience to teach him how to tune out the cheapskates voice. But today was not like any other day, for maybe it was due to the tireless nights of working on the project, or the sudden rejection letter or it could have been the words that seem to cut deep. But Squidward doesn't know what came over him, but…HE. FINALLY. LOST. IT!

Without out a second notice, he jumped the crustacean, tackling him to the ground with a thud. As they were on the said ground, Squidward was delivering punches after punches; managing to give his boss a black eye. Those who were around-and it was not much, maybe like 5 people-could not take their eyes off the rumble that was taking place. SpongeBob was initially terrified but sprung in to action, to tear the pair away from each other. When he broke off the fight, both sides were equal in rage, Squidward with a few bruises and nicks but Mr. Krabs, who could have been slow, received a black eye, torn clothes and a fat lip.

"You know what, you ungrateful son of a BARNACLE! You are single handedly one of the most laziest employees I have ever had! Face it you bilgerat! You're never going to amount to anything and should be happy that you had a job here to support yourself!"

SpongeBob gasped at that. "Had?"

"Yup. This lazy Squid is fi-" He's mouth was shut forcefully by a strong tentacle.

Squidward, with strong deep breaths, stared straight at his boss, or former boss. Seeing that he had nothing left to lose, said his peace. "Ungrateful, ha that's a load of rubbish coming from you. I have been working for you, lining your pockets with my paychecks, while you sit on your old butt and do nothing. I will become a star and I will show you that you are wrong as well as nothing but a bottom feeding cheapskate. Oh and don't worry about what you said, cause I QUIT!"

With that, he left in a huff, not paying attention to the crabs ranting about how 'he will come back crawling within a week' or 'how dare he speak to him that way', it was all water over his head. But he was still fuming even as he was half way home. Until a certain voice called out to him.

"Squidward! OH SQUIDWARD, WAIT UP!"

Having had enough, he turned around, eyes a lit with anger. "WHAT SPONGEBOB?!" That caused the sponge to recoil before gathering his bearings.

"Look Squidward. I am sorry you didn't win, but did you have to be so mean to Mr. Krabs?" He asked worriedly.

Not losing the anger, he asks in an icy tone. "What?"

Waving his hands in defence. "I mean, yeah mister Krabs was a bit harsh, but you did cause damage to the restaurant. Look Squidward, I believe in your dream, really I do, but maybe you should be more grateful to Mr. Krabs for the work, seeing as your works is not captivating people enough to buy it and-"

"And NOTHING SpongeBob! If I wanted an idiotic opinion, I would have asked any other idiot than you!" That seemed to make the sponge a bit hurt, but the squid continued. "Honestly, SpongeBob, don't you get it, after all these years of us working together, I don't like you or consider you to be my friend. Can't you get it through your thick head that you are annoying, don't respect boundaries and you act like a brainless boob when I tell you not to do things, like I don't know…not destroy my house! You claim to care about me, but you just don't mind you're your own business! Now you want me to be grateful, for this awful life of mine? Give me a break."

With the end of the rant, came a short unnerving pause. SpongeBob was quite silent, an out of character trait. He took a deep breath and began.

"Squidward, seriously? I thought we were friends. But fine, if that's how you want it." SpongeBob's voice carried a tone of hurt, his brows furrowing as he spoke.

Squidward just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I do." He spoke as if the answer was obvious. Squidward's initial anger seemed to simmer though.

"Yeah, I care about you, but I'm not gonna stand here and let you be a jerk." SpongeBob's words were laced with a touch of frustration, his hands gesturing emphatically. Squidward's scowl deepened, but a flicker of doubt danced in his eyes.

"You're talented, Squidward, we all know that." SpongeBob's tone softened slightly, his gaze pleading. Squidward's chest tightened at the unexpected compliment, his anger momentarily replaced by surprise.

"But talent ain't worth squat if you're too busy being mean and bitter." SpongeBob's voice took on a note of sternness, his eyes narrowing slightly. Squidward's jaw clenched, his stubbornness warring with a growing sense of self-awareness.

"You want your life to be better? Then do something about it." SpongeBob's words were like a call to action, his posture straightening with determination. Squidward felt a twinge of uncertainty, his pride warring. "Stop blaming everyone else and start making changes. It's that simple. And hey, if you need a friend to help you along the way, I'm still here." SpongeBob's voice softened.

"But you gotta want it, Squidward. You gotta want to change." Silence hang in the air; but it somehow spoke volumes to the squid. Causing his own voice to be lost, unable to come out.

"So what's it gonna be, huh?" SpongeBob's voice broke through the silence, his gaze steady. Squidward felt the weight of the question settle upon him, he was honestly shocked at what was happening.

"Are you gonna keep wallowing in self-pity, or are you gonna take control of your life?" SpongeBob's words echoed in Squidward's ears, a gentle reminder of the choice before him. Squidward's eyes darted between SpongeBob and the ground, his anger now only a flickering light. Something else was in him now, something he didn't understand.

"The choice is yours." With that final declaration, SpongeBob turned and walked away, leaving Squidward to grapple with his thoughts and the decision that lay ahead.

He was honestly shocked at the sudden voice of reason that was from SpongeBob of all people. He couldn't think that his life was so pathetic that he was now seeing reason in the chucklehead's words. But he was. With that he just left, wanting to just call it a now.

(-)

-Squidward's House-

Stepping through the stony, empty confines of his house, he slowly shut the door behind himself. As he walked, passing by the TV, he sat down on his couch. The days before were always taxing, both physically and mentally for Squidward. But today…was an emotional rollercoaster that threatened the already sponsored tears to fall down his face.

He knew that quiting was the best choice for himself, he knew that. He remembered the last time he quit, albeit a lot less violently. He was pretty foolish in that he did not properly hold down his house or save. "Such a moron, I was." He said between muffled sobs. His still not where he needs to be and he doesn't know what to do as well.

"Are you gonna keep wallowing in self-pity, or are you gonna take control of your life?" He then remembered SpongeBob's voice ring through his head. His eyes were boring into Squidward's. His resolve wavered, his anger slowly giving way to introspection.

He then knew what to do. Though, it was going to be more embarrassing for him; but he has already reached rockbottom. 'How low could I go from there?'

He stood up, wiping the pesky wetness on either side of his face. He took his shell phone and dialled the numbers that he would never forget. Ever. He took to the stairs, leading up to his oh so familiar art room.

As the phone begun ringing. He took one last look around the room. Taking mental note of all his works and the painful memories surrounding them.

The person on the other line picked up. "Hello." The individual's voice was soft and feminine. "Squidward? Is that you? How are you my son?"

"I'm…doing good mother." He spoke the only thing he could bring himself to say to his mother.

A brisk moment of silence in the air. "Squidward. I know when my son is not doing well. I want you to talk to me, please." It was then that the dams broke and pent up frustration and anger poured forth as he regaled his mother with everything that happened. After 2 hours had gone by. It spun between Squidward letting out his pain, frustrations and his mother tentatively listening to him. The night was relatively a peaceful one. Their chat ended on a more or less positive tone. He although had some choices to make, as per the advice of his mother.

"Listen dear. Like I said, it's no problem and whatever you decide, I will support you. But I think we both know what the answer is." Those words were what really made the conviction in Squidward to really take root as he braced himself for what would be a productive couple of days ahead.

-Morning-

Time had passed—about a week, to be exact—and everything was strangely quiet. SpongeBob had been going to work as usual, even after the fallout that occurred days ago. He chose to give Squidward his space and focus on his job. Still, he couldn't help but remember what Squidward had said. Some of it was true, but the way he said it—and the words he used—had been downright cruel. SpongeBob couldn't stay mad at him for long, so he decided to visit him.

He hadn't seen Squidward much lately, and when he did, Squidward was always rushing around on errands. Whenever SpongeBob tried to wave or greet him, Squidward would just ignore him. This time, however, it felt different. Squidward seemed to be avoiding him on purpose, almost as if he didn't want to be noticed.

As SpongeBob made his way to Squidward's house, he knocked and called his name. The door opened—but it wasn't Squidward. It was a total stranger.

"Yeah, what do you want?" The man's tone was sharp, likely annoyed from being woken up.

SpongeBob looked embarrassed for a moment but straightened up to ask the lingering question. "Um, yes... My name is SpongeBob SquarePants, and I was just wondering where my fri— I mean, Squidward is. You see, it's been a while and—"

The man sighed, cutting him off. "Yeah, yeah. He told me you might show up." He disappeared for a moment, then returned with a letter in hand. "Here. He doesn't live here anymore and wanted me to give you this."

"Wait, what? I don't understand—" Before he could ask more questions, the door slammed in his face, and he heard locks turning on the other side.

Confused, SpongeBob walked away, his thoughts racing. He looked down at the letter, deciding to open it.

Dear SpongeBob,

I've left. I won't say much, but I wanted to write this letter to first tell you that you should back off from the new owner. He's nothing like me and will definitely ruin you or your moronic friend if you get on his nerves.

Secondly, I... took your words in to consideration. I'm going to do something about my life. I won't keep in touch. I still don't like you, but I'm going to take your advice this time. Wish me the best.

P.S. Make something of your life as well. You're too good to work at that dump. But if it's something you're willing to settle for, then I wish you all the luck in the world. God knows you'll need it when that bottom-feeding boss of yours shows you who he really is.

Yours sincerely,
Squidward J.Q. Tentacles

Author's Notes:

This is a story I've wanted to work on for a long time. I can sympathize with Squidward, and I genuinely wish him the best. Do I like his jerkiness and rude behavior? No. But I believe he deserves a win, and I'll make sure he gets it. It won't be instant, but it will be the character development he desperately needs. Stay tuned for the next chapter! And oh, yeah...EAT DIRT MISTER KRABS!