Familiar pangs of loneliness hit Loki as he watched the various holidays across the timelines. He wondered if this is how Heimdall had felt, standing watch for millenium. Watching those he cared for while he himself was alone. Watching the merriment and celebrations while he himself hung back in the shadows. Watching as some destroyed themselves and unable to offer comfort.
As he watched a 400 year old Thor rip into yuletide gifts, he wondered if Heimdall felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount he had to keep an eye on. He wondered if the Gatekeeper could see him now. As far as he knew, he could not. After all, Loki was outside of time, outside of even the Void, seated in the very center of the multiverse. It was ironic, hiw the one time he wished the Gatekeeper could see him, he was completely invisible to his gaze. To everyone's gaze.
He observed Thor discover a Loki who had been disguised as a Midgardian Santa, denying himself the ability to hope despite his brother being right there. He saw Odin take his infant form to his mother, watched the pure joy spread across her face as she held him.
On another timeline, all five of them; his parents, his brother and Hela celebrated together. On yet another, a 500 year old Odin opened Yuletide gifts with Bor and Freya. Others weren't quite as joyous. Suicides plagued the holidays, some of which being his brother on occasion. Sometimes it was himself, though he was very rarely successful in his endeavors.
He tore his gaze from all of the possibilities that played out, focusing instead on three people. Mobius had a cabin up by what the Midgardians called Lake Tahoe. He had a couple jet skies, though they hadn't been used as his friend tirelessly worked on some sort of project. His brother and mother would visit his first friend, though he knew not why. While he could listen to the timelines, he'd found that his sanity preferred the silence.
Not that he hadn't tried to listen. When the silence became oppressive he had tried to listen to his mother's voice. Yet there were trillions of Frigga's all clamoring for his attention, plus all of the people within her vicinity on the timeline she was in. The sheer volume of voices threatened to overtake and destroy his mind. Thus he was content to watch in silence.
When the silence tried to break him just as much as the loudness, he conjured an illusion of Thor, or Frigga, or Mobius. Most of the time he didn't have the energy for such things and was left with nothing but his thoughts and his watching of timelines.
Reflecting on his past life, he had realized that the paths between Yggdrasil's branches must have been so easy for him to find because it was his seidr keeping the tree alive. Which was boggling even to his mind when the Tree had been around almost as long as the universe itself.
It reminded him of the Midgardian tale of the school of sorcery. The children had used a form of time travel and the boys future self had been able to save his past self as since they had already been in the future, the deeds of the future selves in the past had already been done. Still, it was a strange thought, that his past self or rather, selves could be travelling on the very branches that he was sustaining. Speaking of his selves...
He let his sight drift to where Sylvie was. She seemed happier, working at a McDonalds on her new timeline. She'd gotten a dog, some sort of Midgardian shepherd. Her life was simple, though that was exactly what she'd wanted.
Back at the TVA, B-15, OB, Casey and the others worked to track down and detain the various Kang's that popped up. The Kang's that appeared peaceful were injected with a chip that would deploy a near lethal dose of sedative that would last twelve hours in case they turned violent.
He was glad a solution could be reached that made everyone win. The timelines were free, not dying and the Kang's were being handled by the TVA agents who chose not to return to a timeline. The only person who lost was him. I never wanted the throne, I only ever wanted to be your equal! The words seemed to have been uttered a lifetime ago. Which he supposed could very well be accurate. He had no way to keep track of how long he'd been here.
He had no idea how long he'd been there when he saw four figures coming up the cracked stairs.
As they approached, he wondered if he'd unconsciously conjured illusions to keep him company. Perhaps he was finally losing his mind. Losing control. It wouldn't be the first time he'd gone insane.
He recognized the familiar swoosh of the blue dress his mother wore, her face set in concern and her loose curls hanging messily. It was odd, seeing something other than green in this Void like place he was in. Mobius was with her, heavy bags under his eyes. Next to him was Thor, red cape trailing his form silently. He looked both hopeful and horrified. However, the strangest part was that there was also a Loki with them. This Loki was wearing extravagant armor, appeared to be the same age as his mother and had the Eye of Agamotto around his neck. No, these were not illusions.
At the last twenty steps or so, the group minus himself dashed towards him, carefully avoiding destroying the various branches that lay across the decrepit stairs. When they reached the top, nobody spoke. In an instant, his mother's arms were around him. The touch of another living thing was forein and he flinched back before leaning into the warmth.
"You ready to get out if here?" Mobius said the words softly, but after who knew how long of silence only occasionally broken up by voices of his illusions, the sound was gratingly loud. At the same time, he missed the voice and wanted to hear more.
"Loki?" His friend's voice broke the silence again, dragging him from his thoughts. He replayed the question, confusion clouding his mind. He tried to reply, but his voice caught in his throat from dissuse. When he finally managed to force the words out, they were hardly more than a croak.
"I- I ca-n't. Can't- leave." His brother stepped forward from his mother's side. When had she stopped hugging him?
"We have a solution Brother. Mobius and Mother worked on a device that will serve as a host for your seidr. As long as we refill it's reserves every half century, it will behave just as if you were here. You can come home." Other Loki summoned a cube, roughly two feet by two feet covered in runes made by both himself, or at least, another Loki, as well as his mother. He could feel pure seidr pulsating from inside the device. That's odd.
His mother must've sensed his question, as she answered,
"It is full of evaporated blood from both myself and the Loki here. It takes several months, but the result is completely pure seidr that doesn't go rogue." So forbidden practices.
"All you gotta do is let us put this handy dandy device where you're sitting and let go." Loki registered the words, yet his mind was being drawn into a timeline where he and Thor were hanging off the edge of Bifrost. Let go. He watched as his younger self screamed, begged for approval, the familiar words etched in his brain and requiring no sound. No Loki. His younger self let go, drifting into the Void. Where he would-
"Loki?" Thor was kneeling in front of him, eyes concerned and searching. His brother hooked him under his arms, bringing him to his feet. His legs immediately shook and he would have collasped if not for Thor's firm hold. His head swam with dizziness from the sudden movement. He felt the seidr device go past him before his brother murmured for him to let go.
He wanted to do as his brother asked, but he didn't know what he meant until he felt his mother's hand slowly open his own. It hurt, the change in position after so long causing his hand to spasm as it curled back to it's previous posture. He felt Mobius do the same with his other hand, resisting the urge to grimace. His mother moved on to his helmet and top armor. Were there branches connected there too? It certainly explained the weight that was being lifted off of him.
No longer having to sustain the multiverse, his seidr went to work healing the stiffness within him. His brother moved to one side of him while Mobius supported his other side.
"Let's go home." The group started heading down the stairs, Other Loki guiding them along the path. Every step hurt and was full of worry that the machine would fail and he'd have to return to his self imposed solitude. But for now he would enjoy this gift that the Norns had given him. He was going home. Which could be anywhere, as long as he had his family and friend with him.
A/N: So, I intended for this to be a Christmassy story like Christmas Reunion. However, Loki didn't agree and it turned into this. I don't know yet whether or not I'll continue this, we will see.
Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas.
I don't own Marvel or Harry Potter.