Andrea sighed as she looked around at the group gathered for the office Christmas party. She hadn't really wanted to attend, but knew that it was expected of her. The holidays had been difficult for her, ever since Sharon's brush with death and then her retirement from public life, things had just seemed that much duller for her. She knew that she could reach out and talk to her, but it seemed like their friendship had cooled since they didn't see each other at work all the time. And that also cut her to the bone, because she had thought that theirs was a friendship to stand the tests of time and separation.
Letting out another sigh, she drifted over to the refreshment table and picked up a glass of eggnog, knowing that it was going to be alcoholic, and not really caring. She could always call a cab or hitch a ride home with a sober colleague, when the time came. The moment she sipped at the drink, Andrea was reminded why she hated eggnog, and she grimaced a little as she set the glass on a tray of other used glasses before picking up a plate and filling it with finger foods. Then she made her way over to a secluded corner and leaned against the wall as she watched everyone else interact. It was hard, feeling like an outsider, even at her age, and she tried not to let her thoughts run towards melancholia as she finished off the food.
"You look just as bored as I am."
Andrea turned her head to look at Andy, giving him a small shrug before looking back out at the crowed. "It's hard to gather enthusiasm for an event that celebrates being together as a family when you don't really have a family. Or friends."
"I understand that feeling, even if I am living with Nicole and her family now. It didn't seem right to force Sharon to find somewhere new to live, not after everything she's been through in the last two years."
She tried not to react to that news, though she couldn't stop herself from licking her lips before she nodded. "That was kind of you, especially since her kids don't live in the area. Though I didn't know that you were having issues. The last I spoke with Sharon, she seemed happy."
"You haven't truly talked to her in four months. And Sharon was always good at separating her troubles from the rest of her life. I've never met someone so good at compartmentalizing as her, and I hope that I never do again. We love each other, we just aren't good together. What a thing to discover at Christmas."
Andrea gave him a small nod before reaching out and patting his shoulder softly. "I'm sorry. If I could do anything to help make things better, you know that I would."
"I know. But I honestly think the best thing you could do would be to see her before she leaves for Emily's in two days. I know that she has to be feeling blue."
"I'll think about it," she murmured as she hugged herself, still staring out at the crowd. Andy moved away from the wall and disappeared into the group, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more. Andy had a point, she should go see Sharon, if only to wish her a Merry Christmas before she headed home. Grateful that she hadn't had more than a sip of eggnog, Andrea pushed herself away from the wall and skirted the crowd, praying to the God that Sharon believed in that she could get out without being waylaid.
Finally, she had made it out to the hall and she furtively scanned the hall in both directions before jogging over to the elevators and pressing the down button. Andrea let out a long breath of relief when she managed to slip inside the car that came without anyone seeing her or trying to ger her to come back to the party. As she rode down in silence, Andrea tapped her foot and thought about what she was about to do. A part of her wondered if Sharon would even see her, since it had been so long since they had really talked, but she tried to push that voice aside as the elevator slowly reached the ground floor.
Andrea stepped out of the elevator and headed for the parking lot, digging her keys out of her pocket as she went to her car. Thankfully, the night was still clear, if a bit cool, and she walked with purpose, keys in hand as she went. After settling behind the steering wheel, Andrea let out a long breath as she plugged her phone into her charger and then turned on the radio, trying not to grimace at the sound of Christmas music that drifted out. The drive to Sharon's didn't take very long, since she had managed to hit the traffic just right, and Andrea was soon pulling into the parking garage for her apartment building.
She sat behind her wheel for a few moments, needing to gather her courage before she went up to the apartment. Finally, Andrea knew that she couldn't sit there any longer, and she stepped out of her car and made her way up to Sharon's floor, her foot tapping the entire time it took the elevator to move upwards. She didn't know why she was nervous, but she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe she wasn't making the right choice.
Shaking her head to clear those thoughts, Andrea stepped out of the elevator and went down the hall to Sharon's door, planting her feet in front of it as she raised her hand to knock. It took a little while for her to hear movement in the apartment, and those seconds seemed to stretch into eternity as she waited, but finally, she heard soft footfalls come closer and closer to the door before they paused. Anticipation filled her chest as she waited there, until the lock was thrown and the door was opened.
"Andrea? Shouldn't you be at the Christmas party?" Sharon asked softly as she pulled the halves of her bathrobe closer together, giving her a pinched smile.
"I was bored, and there was someone that I missed. Do you think that I could come in?"
Sharon stared at her for a few moments longer before she licked her lips and took a few steps back from the door, gesturing for her to enter the apartment. Andrea gave her a small nod as she entered, stepping out of her heels as she shrugged out of her coat, hanging it on a free hook before she turned to look at Sharon a little closer. The woman had already shut and locked the door, and even though she was facing Andrea, she wasn't looking at her, instead her focus was on a spot just over her shoulder. "Did Andy send you here?" she finally asked after the silence between them had grown too brittle.
Andrea shook her head as she followed Sharon into the living room, taking a seat on the sofa. The other woman sat on the opposite end, as if she was trying to keep as much distance between them as possible, and Andrea tried not to let her hurt show on her face as she wrapped her arms around her waist and stared at the space between them. "No, I came on my own. I wanted to see you, as it's been too long."
Sharon let out a mirthless laugh, and Andrea lifted her head to look at her, seeing that the woman was finally gazing at her, the hardness there feeling like a physical strike. "And who let it be so long?"
"You did," she quickly bit out, narrowing her eyes. "You didn't return my calls, you didn't answer my texts. You know how busy I am with my job, and even though I took the time out to contact you, you never replied. So I stopped reaching out. What was the point, when you clearly didn't value our friendship as much as I did."
"Then why are you here?" Sharon hissed, and Andrea shook her head with a shrug of her shoulders, starting to get to her feet. "So you're just going to leave again. Typical."
Andrea let out a heartbroken sigh as she dragged a hand through her hair. "What do you want from me, Sharon? I came here because I missed you, and had hoped to have a happy memory this Christmas. And all I'm getting in return is this misplaced anger that makes me want to walk out that door and never talk to you again. I love you, dammit, and Christmas was always better with you." Her voice cracked on that last word, and she turned on her heel to make her way to the door before Sharon saw her start to cry. The way that they were sniping at each other didn't lend itself to tenderness, and she never wanted to so badly change her past than she did in that moment. "This was such a mistake."
Bowing her head, she took the first few steps towards the door, only to feel the brush of Sharon's fingertips against her upper arm. Pausing, she allowed the other woman to close her hand around her, and then she was leaning back against her friend, welcoming the way that Sharon closed her other arm around her waist and held her closer as she began to sob. "I didn't mean to hurt you," Sharon whispered as she clung to Andrea. "I just feel like I've lost so much of myself after the heart attack and being forced to retire. You and Andy didn't have room for me in your lives any more, since you were so busy with work, like I used to be. So it became easy to hide myself away here until Andy left. I'm alone, again, and this time, it's of my own doing. I can understand if you want to leave now, if you want nothing more to do with me…"
Sharon's voice trailed off as she tightened her hold on Andrea's waist, both arms encircling her now, her body belying her words. Andrea sighed as she covered Sharon's arms with her own, knowing now that she wouldn't be leaving her that evening. "I wouldn't have come this evening if I wanted nothing more to do with you, Sharon. And I didn't mean to snipe at you, I just…I reacted out of my hurt. I'm sorry."
Andrea turned to face Sharon, taking in the red rimmed eyes and downturned lips and still thinking she was the most lovely thing she'd ever seen. Before she could stop herself, Andrea leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to Sharon's lips. She wasn't expecting her to respond, since she was so religious, but then Sharon's hands were spreading out on her back, pulling her closer to her body as she deepened the kiss. She sighed into Sharon's lips as they began to make their way back to the sofa, sitting heavily as they continued to kiss.
After a few pleasant minutes of making out, Andrea pulled back to look into Sharon's face, feeling both aroused and confused. This was completely unexpected, since she knew, or thought she knew, that Sharon was straight as an arrow in all aspects of her life. Breathing heavily, she reached up and cupped Sharon's face, staring deep into her eyes. "Why did you stop kissing me?" Sharon asked breathlessly.
"Because I wasn't certain that this should be happening. The desire is here, on my end, but you've always been with men. I know there are Christmas miracles, but not for people like me."
She looked away from Sharon, only to have the other woman softly take hold of her chin and turn her face back to look at her. "Christmas miracles happen for everyone. That was the point of the baby in the manger. And I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I've felt like I haven't been a whole person without you in my life. I felt like that for a while, with Andy, but it didn't last, because you were always there, too. Andy's gone, you were going to leave, and I needed to hold one of you here. I guess that that didn't work, either."
Sharon started to cry, soft and quiet, which tore at Andrea's heart. "I told you I wasn't going to leave, Sharon. Those kisses are too sweet to walk away from." She gave Sharon a crooked smile before leaning in and kissing her once more, making certain to keep the touch light, as she didn't want to overwhelm either of them in that tender moment. "Christmas was always better with you, and if this opens up a new aspect of our relationship, I will welcome it a gift to us."
They stared at each other as the seconds grew to minutes, and then Sharon was letting out a long breath as she nodded and relaxed, leaning forward to rest her forehead against Andrea's as she closed her eyes. "Do you think that I deserve such a lovely gift, after the way I've treated you?"
"I do. I think that we both deserve something sweet and lovely in our lives, after all the bullshit that we've been through in the last few years. And I cannot wait to start down this path with you. Will you be my date for Provenza's New Year's party?"
Sharon opened her eyes and gave her a small nod. "I think that I'd like that, Andrea. As long as you kiss me once more."
She chuckled as she nodded before pulling her head back and glancing down at Sharon's lips. "I think I could be amenable to that," she murmured before tilting her head a little and leaning in to press her lips tenderly against Sharon's, sealing the start of this new facet of their relationship with a kiss.