PTSD—a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock
"Sarah!" Joel screamed himself awake. It was 20 years after the murder of his daughter, Sarah. He can't stop seeing the soldier's gun. It was pointing at him and Sarah. It haunts his dreams, thoughts, and everyday life. How did it affect his everyday life? His weariness of others ruined chances for relationships; his distrust was off-putting to the others at the QZ. The only person who has cared enough to stay around is Tess. He has told her about that night and how it changed everything. Obviously that night changed for everyone, but for him it was different. She understood that. He likes to work to get his mind off it. Then one job came that changed his life even more.
He's never smuggled a kid before; he was 99% sure if this was the old world, it was illegal. Marlene said she was important and that she was going to pay them. So why the hell not? When Tess, Ellie, and he were on the outside, they ran into a soldier. Great, he thought. Then Ellie attacked the soldier. The soldier lifted his gun with the light, and it triggered something in Joel. It triggered the memory of that night—the same night he was holding his injured daughter, the gunshots that rang shortly after that took her away from him, and the blood that poured from her. He ran towards him and beat the soldier to death. The soldier had died before Joel could stop himself.
Ellie was now 19 years old. She and Joel had drifted apart some. She still cared for him, and she knew he still cared for her. He was trying so hard to get their relationship back to what it was years prior. She knew she should give him an effort on her part, but part of her didn't want to.
She was on patrol with Dina when Jesse showed up, showing concern about Joel and Tommy. Ellie started to panic a little. I'm sure it's nothing, she thought. She ended up riding away to look for them. She found him being beaten up by some pissed-off woman; she's never seen this woman in her life and has no idea why she was doing this.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE," she yelled. The other people in the room then went and pinned her down. She was struggling to break free. She lay there seeing her father figure all bloodied and barely moving. He can't die; he just can't.
"Joel, get up," she begged with her life, she felt. "Please, get up." He just kept staring at her. He mouthed something, but she couldn't make out what it was.
"You're all going to fucking die," she claimed. She wasn't even paying attention to what the man was saying to the evil woman. Then all of a sudden, she swung the golf club onto the side of his head, causing his head to be smashed open, indicating he was gone. "NO!" She couldn't believe it. She watched the man who took care of her all of these years, the man who was mean-mugged when they met and then softened up to her; he was dead; he was gone. Daddy, was her last thought.
A few years had passed since that terrible day. Ellie was working on a farm that she and Dina shared. She was holding JJ, Dina's son with Jesse, in a swaddle of some sort and herding sheep to the barn. She saw a lamb hiding in the back. "How did you get here?" she asked it, even though she knows it won't answer her. The lamb scurried away, knocking a shovel down, and BAM! The golf club sound came back. She started to panic some, but kept doing big breaths to calm herself down.
Later that night, Ellie was sleeping in the bed with Dina. She was tossing and turning as she dreamt of the stairway—the same stairway that led to her only parent's beating—and she heard a scream: "ELLIE, HELP ME!" It was Joel. She ran towards the door and couldn't open it. She was crying hard and banging on the door trying to open it. She then screamed herself awake, also waking up Dina.
"Ellie, Ellie!" Dina screamed and shook her. "It's just a dream. It's just a nightmare!"
"He needs me! HE'S calling for me!" Ellie got out of bed quickly and started heading towards the bedroom door.
"ELLIE!" Dina ran out of bed and stopped her. "He's gone. He's not calling you!" She grabbed her face. "It was just a nightmare." Ellie started crying and put her head on Dina's shoulder. "Dad can't be gone."