Chapter 9 Loss and Comfort

The night was a long one, the very definition of a long one. Larry lay in the bed, looking up at the ceiling while feeling squirmy and uncomfortable. This… this was its own form of hell, being unable to sleep because your body didn't allow it. He went online to see what time it was exactly, and he came to discover that it was only ten at night. Ten. At night!

"Goddamnit." Larry felt angry enough to throw a tantrum. "I've got a whole night of this shit left, don't I?" He turned over on his side, all while debating what to do. He eventually decided that he should watch some WarpTube videos. That had always been a fun activity in the past, so maybe doing it now would bring him some form of relief? Maybe it would distract him from how sucky reality was? Maybe it would help him escape from the wound that was still fresh and throbbing?

There was only one way to find out. Larry browsed through the different WarpTube videos with his powers before settling on one that he had never seen before. Specifically, it was the fourth part of a ten-part Let's Play. Larry stared at the nonexistent screen for about five minutes, hoping that he would feel stimulated or even better. That never happened, as he was close to halfway through the video and he felt extremely bored. Watching this brought him no form of enjoyment. Maybe that was his own fault; after all, he had played and completed the game being played more times than he could count. But even still… there was no way that he could watch this Let's Play for the entirety of the night.

But then that begged the question; what could he do for the night? Think of Tec? Oh sure, that sounded like a FANTASTIC idea. Everyone knew that picking at a wound helped it heal faster right?

Groaning, Larry laid on his back. He felt the urge to cry, as well as an overwhelming feeling of guilt. The guilt was definitely multifactorial, which just made it an even heavier burden to bear than it normally was. Thinking about everything that had happened over the last few weeks… there was no escape. There was no way to get away from these feelings. It was impossible. It was impossible…

"Larry?"

Larry blinked. He turned toward the door, unsure how to feel when he saw Luigi standing in the doorway. He had a furrowed brow, and he didn't look anywhere in the room except at Larry himself. Unsure what exactly was going on, Larry sat up.

"What's going on, Green Mario?"

Luigi chuckled, took off his hat, and fidgeted with the rim. "I just wanted to check up on you."

Larry bit his lip. "Uh… okay. Well, I'm feeling alright, all things considered, so… you don't have to worry about me." He paused. "I hope that helps you feel better."

"How I feel isn't really relevant," Luigi said as he stepped into the room. "I want YOU to feel okay, to know that we're here for you."

Larry felt a warmth surge through his heart. "Well… thank you. I appreciate that, man." He paused again. "I… I'm not at one hundred percent. I'm probably not even at fifty, but I am surviving."

Luigi let out a breath. "Well, that's good." He walked into the room. Larry raised an eyebrow as he took a seat on the bed. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"HA! No."

"Okay. Well, is it okay if I just stay here with you?"

Larry snorted. "Stay here with me? What, are you in love with me or something?"

Luigi chuckled. "Having someone stay with me helped me out when I was going through a tough time. I figured that it would do the same for you."

Larry gawked at Luigi. For a second, he wondered if Luigi had some sort of ulterior motive. He didn't know why; there was no logical reason to think that he did. Maybe it was just an instinct he picked up from the days when he fought the Mario Brothers… eh, it didn't matter. He supposed he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Okay." Larry laid back down. "I think that would be nice, actually."

The next ten minutes or so were spent in relative silence. The only sound in the room was Luigi's breathing, which was… actually kinda soothing. Larry supposed it was because it was rhythmic, because it was constant, and didn't seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. It was nice to hear. Honestly, Larry could listen to a sound like that all night.

But as calming as it was, Larry's heart still hurt. He fidgeted with a loose thread on the blanket, considering where to go from here. He debated talking to Luigi, but… well, he didn't really want to talk to his siblings before, who were people he had an actual relationship with. Why then would he want to talk with Luigi? The only relationship he had with Luigi was rocky at best.

And yet…

"Luigi?" Luigi looked over at Larry, who let out a breath. "Is it bad that I feel guilty about being sad?"

Luigi blinked. "Why would you feel guilty about being sad?"

Larry frowned. "Because… well, for starters, I haven't known Tec for very long. And on top of that… my family has been so determined to make sure I recover from this. They have done a lot of things to make sure that I'm not down in the dumps twenty-four seven, and…" he sighed. "I don't know; I feel like I shouldn't be grieving as much as I am."

"Larry," Luigi said, his voice gentle and firm. "You don't have to worry about that." He scooted closer, and Larry looked him right in the eye as he did. "Grieving is a natural part of life. It isn't a problem to be fixed; it's a process that everyone goes through. Nay goes through in their own unique way. I understand why your family wants to help you, but you don't have to fit their definition of what they think the grieving process looks like. If you hurt, you hurt. And you know what, you're allowed to be hurt. You're allowed to take as much time as you need, whether that be two weeks or two decades."

"Really?"

"Yes." Luigi looked down at the floor. "Your family and I imagine you to an extent want you to get back to normal, but… you've gotta understand that there is no 'normal.'" He turned back to Larry. "There's no such thing as normal because your reality is fundamentally different now. At its core, your perspective on life has shifted. You experienced a hardship that left you permanently shaken. There's no way to get back to the old normal."

Larry frowned, looking down at the floor himself. "I see…" He sniffled, despite himself. Drying his eye, he debated over what he should say, and how he should phrase this next question. "So… what can I do then?"

"Well… I think your life can take on a new normal." Luigi fidgeted with his cap again. "What that new normal looks like, I don't know. But I can say I know this; it's okay to grieve. It's okay to be sad about the loss, even if you haven't known the person for that long." He bit his lip. "Tec meant something to you. You formed a bond with him; it's okay to feel sad that he's gone." He paused. "It's okay to be sad."

"Okay to be sad…" Larry repeated. He gripped the blanket tightly. "I guess you're right."

Another silence filled the room as Larry debated over what to say. He went through thousands of possible options before deciding to go with what his heart wanted him to say. "I… I just don't want to trample over Tec's memory, I guess. I mean, he gave up his life to save me. I feel like… like being sad would kinda miss the point of the goal he wanted to achieve."

Luigi was silent. "You think so?"

"Yeah." Larry pulled his knees up to his chest. He started crying again, much to his chagrin. "I mean… I have no real way to ask him, but I don't think he would like to see me like this."

"Why not?" Luigi asked.

"Because…" Larry took some time to think about this before shaking his head. "I guess I don't know why."

"Well… I…" Luig sighed before scooting closer. Without any words, he reached for Larry and wrapped him in a hug. Larry, while in the warmth of this particular embrace, couldn't help but cry even harder. The tears flowed at a faster rate, and he felt as though his heart had been cut into. He looked up into Luigi's face, seeing how… hurt the younger Mario brother looked. That really threw Larry for a loop. How could Luigi be hurt in this scenario? It wasn't him who had lost Tec.

"I…" Larry chuckled through the tears. "I suppose this is the part of the conversation where you say it's all going to be okay?"

Luigi seemed to consider this before shaking his head. "No." He let Larry go. "I'm not going to do that." He scratched the back of his head. "Just from experience, I can say that I don't think saying cliche statements like that helps." He smiled at Larry. "But I will tell you this." He placed his hand on his shoulder. "I will be here for you in anyway that you need me to be. If you want to talk, that's fine. If you want someone around you, that's fine too. Heck, even if you want someone to yell at and be angry with, that's fine. I'll fill whatever shoes you need me to."

Surprise struck Larry. "Wow," he said, his voice quiet. "Th… thank you. That's… that's actually really sweet."

"You're welcome." Luigi looked toward the door before looking back at Larry. "Do you want me to stay, or do you want some time to yourself?"

Larry stopped to think about this. Honestly, he was kinda leaning on Luigi leaving. Luigi wasn't in a robot body, so that meant he needed to sleep at some point over the course of the night. Wouldn't making him stay with Larry all night as opposed to giving him the opportunity to rest and recuperate be kinda… cruel? Larry thought so. And honestly, he didn't want to be a burden to Luigi. Or Mario. Or really anyone else in this castle.

"You can leave. I think I'll manage."

Luigi nodded. "That's perfectly fine." He stood up. "I just hope that I was able to help, at least a little bit."

"I… i think you were."

Luigi smiled. "Good. I'm glad." He walked toward the door before stopping. "Oh!" He turned back to Larry with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes. "Mario and I have done some talking. We decided that we would like to do some activities with you tomorrow."

"Activities, huh?"

"Yep. Just some simple fun stuff to help take your mind off of things." The glimmer in Luigi's eyes grew stronger, brighter. "On top of that, we decided on something else. We have a little surprise for you."

"A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

Luigi chuckled. "You'll know it when it happens." He reached for the doorknob and turned the handle. "Just know that it's going to be very interesting and potentially even really fun."

Larry frowned. He didn't like that Luigi was being so cryptic, but… eh, he could wait. "Okay. Whatever you think is best."

Luigi smiled and finally walked out the door. Once he left, Larry laid back down. He looked up at the ceiling, pondering over all that Luigi said. It… it kind of helped. At least, a little. He still wasn't completely better, but that was alright. Maybe, in due time, he could try to create that new normal that Luigi had told him about.