AN: Hey guys, I'm back with a new story! I know my other fic needs some revamping as well as new chapters, but after the new job I haven't had any time. Nursing school is kicking my ass and moving into and out of my new apartment after a bad car accident has been crazy. Plus the side of family drama has not been helping. During the summer when I'm not trying to make ends meet I will do my best to work on this fic as well as my other one for practice and to get the stories out of my head. FYI I'm going with the timeline that "Trouble in Tokyo" took place before "Things Change". There will be references to the 'Go' comics, as well as the DC comics. And this is set three years after the finale. Beast boy has just turned 18, Raven is 19, Robin is 20, and just took his persona of Nightwing. Starfire is also 19, and Cyborg is 22. This takes place in 2008 so I'm trying to make it as accurate as possible. There may be a lot of pop culture references but I haven't decided anything concrete. Let me know what you think, if there is anything you want changed, or added. Please be as critical as you want, I can take it.

Thanks guys! Stay awesome :)

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

It was the close of a beautiful day in Jump City, a salty gust of air danced between the waves and fell on the shore. Orange and red hues painted the sky, light outlining the edges of purple clouds. Moon and stars slowly coming into view to take over as the sun lowered into the bay. Across which a T-shaped building sat at the tip of shore. Five figures appearing separately to enter, all covered in a brown cakey substance. The first sped inside riding a smooth, obviously expensive motorcycle, the second, had driven into the entrance through a rugged, electric, automotive. The last three, a green raven, pink blur and a hooded figure, glided in gracefully to land in the middle of the garage. The cyclist took off his helmet, flicked off gunk from his shoulder, and turned to face his team,

"Alright, nice work out there. I do have a couple notes; Raven, next time be mindful not to use fire hydrants against the attacker unless they have already been disconnected, the mayor requested for us to try and avoid that. Otherwise great job, it was resourceful thinking."

The hooded figure nodded in acknowledgement.

"Cyborg, I noticed that when using your sonic canon, you relied more on the longer blows instead of spaced out bolts. It ended up taking more of your energy and slowed you down. Try and use that as a last resort next time."

"Noted." The tallest of the bunch responded.

"Starfire, you need to work on your blindspot, You have to be able to evade more attacks, I know you can take it most of the time, but you need to practice for when you come up against stronger opponents."

"May I go take the shower now, boyfriend Nightwing?" The pink figure replied.

"Yep, team dismissed."

A collective sigh of relief washed over the three companions, as they made their way upstairs to expel the now hardened muddy substance off of their uniforms. Their conversation could be heard slowly fading away as only two stood in the middle of the room. An uncomfortable silence lingering in the air. Nightwings arms were crossed, his facial expression unreadable as he narrowed his eyes at the green figure. The other companion had gotten a majority of the gray gunk off of himself after morphing into a dog to shake it out, now in his human form, shifting his weight as he awaited the others' reproach.

The older boy wasn't mad, in fact Nightwing suspected what his teammates' reason was for wandering off in the middle of a fight, but was open to being surprised. Recently his teammate had shown to be more defensive, his actions had not been as predictable or in character to himself as Nightwing would like. Which was understandable considering certain circumstances that had unfolded in the past couple of months. But it didn't help his case since he'd been challenging the older boy's authority as of late, and was almost intentionally combative and rude to his other teammates.

"Beast boy, What happened out there? You haven't disappeared like that since…" he stopped himself, "You haven't gone off like that in a while, and it's not the only thing that's been off lately. What's going on?" The older boy questioned, genuine curiosity and concern in his tone.

The changeling sighed in hesitation. It was hard to talk about, since he wasn't sure what was going on himself. Everything he did felt as though it'd been coming from something else inside him that wanted to push out. He'd been feeling; upset, confused, raw, angry… primal. Feeding into instincts, he had already learned to tame. Now that he was an adult, he shouldn't have these emotions surfacing strong enough to break his self control. Dictating his actions as much as was allowed when he was a teenager. Even though he was freshly 18, it was supposed to feel different now that he was officially a grown up. So why do I still feel like a little kid?

As the youngest, it was difficult to not be as hard on himself as he was. Beast boy's emotions were his own responsibility, and so was not letting them overwhelm him in the heat of battle, it was something they had all trained for, to avoid this exact circumstance. He was conflicted, and as a naturally emotional person, unsure of how it would come out.

"I don't know! Lately, I've just been feeling weird… Like I'm not myself but I am, I'm not NOT in control, but stuff just happens y'know? And… I- I ran into Jemma, while trying to get some people out of the way… She was with someone else." It was embarrassing, and this clearly wasn't the way he meant to word it, his breakup was only a very small part of the problem, yet he unintentionally made it seem like it was the center of all his problems. Beast boy's thought process was more precise and definitive, but he'd never had an easy time putting his thoughts into words, and blamed it on his mostly isolated time at the circus when he was a kid. This is why people think I'm such a GOOB! UGH…..

"Oh…I know what you mean, "

"Huh?"

"Look, I know that sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but I completely understand, and it's rough bumping into your ex after a messy breakup, especially if they're with another person. But it's just a part of growing up "

It made sense, despite Nightwing not fully comprehending how the younger boy had meant it, Beast boy internally facepalmed for not realizing this sooner. As someone who was a chronic overthinker, his lack of discernment wasn't much of a surprise, usually counting for everything except for the actual problem, which was another hindrance to his ability of using common sense. Be that as it may, he was grateful to Nightwing for pointing it out. In the back of his mind however, he felt that this was only a small piece of the puzzle.

"Yeah, I guess I should've realized that sooner, huh?"

"It's not always the most obvious thing to realize, it's a pretty confusing experience. I only acknowledged it for myself, when my training as Nightwing was complete. But if there's any time you need to talk about it, we're all here for you. We don't just have your back in battle."

Beast boy smirked at this, "Gee, really? I had no idea. It's almost as if we're friends or something!" his toothy grin smeared with sarcasm.

Nightwing rolled his eyes and playfully punched him in the shoulder. Smartass.

"Alright, let's go get changed and order takeout, I'm sure everyone else is wondering why we're taking so long."

"Heh heh, yeah…" As if they didn't know already.

Nightwing was right, it was probably just a part of life, he'd figure it out eventually. But as of this moment, he wanted this to not be a problem. Knowing how he was, it would certainly become one whether he liked it or not. Due to his inability to let things be, and urge to fix things so that it wouldn't be a problem later. He decided to ignore it, even though it'd be about as helpful as putting two bandaids on a broken leg. Beast boy would deal with it eventually before it could get any worse.

After the rest of the team said their goodnights, Beastboy and Cyborg played some Mega Monkeys 4 and a racing game they rented from blockbuster. The changeling wasn't as energetic as he usually was, something that his fellow Titan picked up over the last few months. He blamed his lack of enthusiasm on exhaustion, it was a poor excuse that he knew Cy didn't buy into.

"Y'know, if there's something you ever need to talk about, I'm here for you B."

There was a small part of him that got agitated. It wasn't any of his business, Beast boy hated that he felt this way and tried to ignore it, the same aggravation arose when Nightwing offered to talk about it as well, but this was different, Cyborg was his best friend. He shouldn't feel this way, even if he wasn't particularly talkative.

"Thanks Cy…"

"Anytime man."

His friend's verbal confirmation of support was something he was thankful for; remembering a couple years prior, how they'd all fallen victim to a sappy love language test that Starfire had discovered through one of her magazines around the time that she and Nightwing started dating. Originally intended to be something that the couple would try together as a couple exercise, until she realized how much it also helped in their friendship, the Tamaranean wanted her whole family to have the benefit of understanding each other on a different level.

Starfire's love language was, unsurprisingly, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Nightwing was tied between Quality time, and acts of service, though most would assume that he preferred acts of service. Cyborg was quality time all the way, but loved giving his friends gifts, and thought that it was important to show appreciation to the ones he loved in that way. Raven was acts of service, and physical touch, a startling discovery as the resident empath had only shown disdain for anything having to do with it, but with the many ways she had been taught to contain herself, it only made sense, nonetheless vexing her teammates. Predictably physical touch was very high up for Beast boy as well, right next to words of affirmation. The changeling had come off as needy in the past, always needing assurance and approval, partially because he was young and insecure, but also due to his lack of security as a child. Beast boy couldn't be any more thankful to know these things about his teammates, even if it was a bit mushy.

After another rematch, the two Titans exchanged their goodnights, and Cyborg made his way upstairs to recharge. The changeling made his way down the hallway, ready to go to sleep knowing that he would probably end up contemplating (or trying to avoid) his internal dilemma for a bit. Accidentally bumping into Raven on the way, who had just come out of Starfire's room, no doubt for some girl talk. Much like the rest of the team, Raven had embraced adulthood, and looked vastly different than when she was a teenager, donning a new uniform, still having her black leotard but with some minor adjustments, the sleeves were shorter, and in their stead were long fingerless gloves going up to the end of her shoulder, matching her thigh length boots and choker, wearing a thin chain belt, with garnets spaced out along the chain mimicking prayer beads. Having decided to grow it out, her violet hair cascaded just beneath her shoulders. Her once round facial features had become sharper, a thin and delicate grecian nose protruding with a small button flare at the tip, heart shaped lips, and indigo eyes upturned and hooded, an electric pop shining in the corner piercing through his soul. Over the past three years they had gotten to be better friends, most of the insults and instigating comments fizzling out with age, replaced with light teasing and some corny jokes. Though they weren't as close as Beast boy would like, they were pretty good friends and made a point to support and help each other.

"Sorry Rae, um Raven." The empath had made it clear that she wasn't fond of that nickname. He had wanted to tease her about it, getting under people's skin was his way of showing affection, yet after knowing her so long, he decided better of it. Instead offering an apologetic smile.

As stoic as ever, she dismissed it, and stood silently for a moment before speaking,

"Forgetting something?"

What? Oh… He looked down and realized there was a controller in his hand, which he'd dropped after running into her.

"Ah man, I didn't even realize I was holding that"

The corner of her lip twitched and her eyes softened, amused at his absentmindedness, Beast boy had learned that this was as close as he could get to making her smile, and relished the small accomplishment. All too quickly, the atmosphere dissipated into a somber cloud as mixed emotions stirred up inside himself. He knew Raven could feel it too, but was thankful that she had never been one to pry.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Beast boy."

"Night."

Plopping himself on his bed, he blankly stared at the exposed ceiling, heaving a deep sigh, seeking to ease his mind, but this did little to relieve pain in his throat. Why do I feel like this?

As soon as those thoughts entered his head, He could feel his eyes widening in alert, old spice and the smell of comic books filled his senses, he could taste the salty beads of sweat running down his temples, causing him to bite his upper lip. Instinct flooding his subconscious, his current surroundings caving in. It was rare that the animal side of him took over, he did his best to keep it controlled but there were times when he needed the feral wisdom of nature that broke the difficulties of life into simple and solvable problems.

Though he was impatient to get rid of it, he wasn't in a hurry. It could be anything that was making him feel this way, he'd narrowed it down to three possibilities. Having just broken up with Jemma, he might just need to work on conflict going on in his heart, he had felt numb in their relationship, not that he didn't enjoy it, but spending time with her wasn't what he looked forward to. He liked hanging out and doing things, but almost all the cheerfulness he put in the relationship either had nothing to do with her as a person, or a way to pretend that the emptiness inside him that surfaced while they were together had nothing to do with her.

The second possibility was the anger he had been dealing with, Beast boy knew that most of it came from unprocessed grief, and past situations that had affected his being. But there were some areas where he wasn't sure what caused him to lash out at the most inopportune times, he had more self control than when he was younger, and thankfully his teammates had been understanding, but it pissed him off that it'd become a problem. He had started to challenge Nightwings leadership, and intentionally ignored some of Cy's good advice. The worst part was when he had insulted Starfires food, her favorite dish that had been delivered from Tameran by her K'norfka, a delicacy saved for royalty she had graciously shared with the team, surprisingly Raven had liked it, the rest of the team however silently suffered through it. In a bad mood already having just gotten out of a fight with his girlfriend, Beast boy had made a very snide comment on how Tamaraneans liked their food. Inedible. He regretted it as soon as it came out, the entire team turned to look at him in shock, he could feel Stafire's internal reaction. A deep and sharp pain that affected her enthusiasm, and wounded her warmth. It twisted him up inside that he would instinctively say something so awful. Before Nightwing could respond, Star's eyes dimly lit, as she muttered, "If you are going to behave like a clorbag Garfield, you may take your leave. "

This caused even Raven to stiffen up, and Beast boy visibly cringed. She had rarely said his name out loud, the twisting feeling in his stomach now a sharp sting in the back of his throat. Starfire's anger turned back to sadness and disappointment, eyes welling up with tears as she barreled into Nightwing, who glared at Beast boy for hurting his girlfriend by thoughtlessly insulting her culture. They quickly took their leave, never once stopping to look back. Cyborg stared at him in disbelief, and shook his head,

"Man, you've crossed the line. I know you've been having a rough go of it, but that doesn't excuse it. You can't do things like that. Especially to Star."

"It's hard for her to not be home right now…" Raven mumbled "you know that"

As they walked away, their words sunk deeper into his skin. The disappointment in their eyes stabbing him like daggers in his soul. He knew they were right, why had he said something like that? It definitely wasn't because he just had a fight with his girlfriend. It had to be something deeper… At the time he didn't really pull his focus on it, he was more concerned with fixing the mess he made. Starfire was like a sister to him and he knew that the war in Tameran had put her in a very difficult position, she wanted to go home and help her people but her place was here with the Titans. Her old guardian had snuck her some food from home a little while before things had gotten really bad. How am I supposed to make this right?

Eventually they had made up after about two months of groveling and humiliation. But it wasn't just anger that had caused that response, it was something else, which left him with the third possibility…The Beast. Things were really off and the ways in which it manifested itself up to the surface thwarted any progress he thought he made with himself. It explained the outbursts, rude behavior, authority challenging, and angst.

His experience as The Beast had been terrifying, initially having him take out every minor frustration on his teammates, particularly Raven. In the moment doing everything through instinct, which he had done for most of his life and had never given a second thought to. Until he had woken up to his teammates accusing him of intentionally hurting his teammate and friend. Finding her in his teeth. Looking back on it, he was infuriated at his lack of self control. Raven assured him that he hadn't hurt her, and gave him some wisdom on dealing with it. After a while Beast boy started to feel closer, and more in tune with it. Surprisingly it helped him with self control, and contrary to his team's perception of how it affected him, the beast had given him an understanding of who he was, and actively worked with him on becoming the man he knew he could be. But it only came up when something was really off. And that was what he was scared of. I thought our relationship was good now? Why would the beast be behaving like before? Unless…

Beast Boy prepared to meet with his primal side, which had taken a while for him to be able to connect with. Two years ago, an exact year after the incident with Adonis, he had gone to Raven, hyper aware of the raw emotions that came up on its anniversary. It was very different from how he felt currently, but he knew if anyone would understand, it would be her. She lived through similar experiences when the demon part of her resurfaced and tried to get out and take control of her. On this mutual understanding, Raven decided to help him,

"I don't know how it would be for you, but when I first started meditating, I met many facets of myself who you know as my emoticlones."

"Oh yeah! Remember when they broke out of your mirror and we had to look for them all over the city? Hahaha!"

"Don't remind me" She grumbled

"Hehe, sorry."

"To meditate, you need to find a way to balance the thoughts and emotions within yourself with both acknowledgement and tranquility, silencing the loud parts that come up and still processing them without it interfering with your concentration."

"Sounds easy enough"

"Let's try it together"

They sat in silence for what felt like hours to Beast boy, he had a hard time sitting still and focusing on one thing at a time, he was an emotional person, and couldn't take the quiet. Man this is harder than I thought it would be.

As if reading his mind Raven replied to his thought, "Don't be discouraged if you can't get it the first time. Even I have difficulties with it from time to time and I've been doing this since I could walk."

"Good to know."

After a couple of months, had finally reached a point where he could sit still and focus, even though it didn't get him to the achieved goal right away he was still proud of his achievement and told Raven just as much. She was also proud of him. A week later at their next session something unexpected happened and he entered his consciousness for the first time, a jungle full of every animal he had ever been. A green monkey swinging from a vine and landing on his shoulder. An understanding of each other resonating within the other full of instincts and kinship. He couldn't explain it in full to anyone else that had never been an animal before. Being here in this space made him feel one with nature, more so than when he morphed. He experienced more clarity and a heightened sense of self. Man, no wonder Raven meditates all the time, I can actually think!

When he woke up, Beast boy gave an account to her of all he had experienced when there, and how amazing it was, he wanted to meet and talk with every one of the animals there, just like what Raven did with her emotions. She then explained to him that she would have to teach him how to do so, how to listen to them and feel what they feel without being easily influenced or controlled by the part of him they were. It was hard work, especially since Raven only had eight parts of herself to commune with and Beast boy had almost all animal life. But he quickly figured out that he only had one representation of each family, which came down to over two thousand. She decided that she would give him a basic rundown on how she met with her types so that he could interact with them according to their temperaments.

It didn't take as long as he thought it would, and he only met with the ones that he became on a daily basis, eventually he got the hang of it and after a couple of weeks, he felt as if he was finally up to taking Raven's offer, which was to meditate with her and Starfire every other morning.

He was glad to have something that could help him in situations like this but it didn't diminish the uneasy reaction in his stomach. Festering and lingering.

He remembered first meeting with The Beast, after a lot of meditating. He had been terrified, even though it was a part of him, to see it menacingly staring down at him was another thing entirely.

Their first conversation left much to be desired, Beast boy wouldn't stop talking, an annoying habit that flared up when he was nervous. The Beast was not impressed and silently intimidated his smaller counterpart into shutting up. Having Communicated with him through instinctive chemical signals, much like how a cat would. Leading the boy into a massive veldt, a savanna with a small acacia tree in the middle of it. From there The Beast stared at him and then the tree. Beast Boy went to the tree and saw what looked to be an old wooden box made of the same wood as the tree. Opening it he saw three items, a block of acacia wood, an arrowhead and a rod. He looked back at The Beast in confusion.

He guessed it was an initiation of sorts or some way to test his manhood, despite only being on the verge of sixteen. It seemed as if each object he was meant to do something of importance. He went up to his counterpart.

"What am I supposed to do with a block of wood, a pointed rock, some metal?"

"Figure it out."

"What do you think I'm trying to do? At least tell me what this is supposed to help me accomplish"

"Figure it out"

"I'll take that as a no."

When Beast Boy got up from his meditation, instead of his normal rush of tranquility, he was left feeling beyond confused, and decided to consult with Raven about what was experienced in his mind.

"So you're telling me that you not only met with the same creature you turned into when we were up against Adonis but you spoke with it too?"

"Yep, and it led me to some old box under a tree that had a block of wood, a metal rod and an arrowhead. I'm not sure what it means but I think it's an initiation of sorts."

"Hmm, we need to figure out the significance of these objects. If it's an initiation we should take it seriously and see what that means too."

"Okay."

"Didn't you say you were raised in Africa?"

"Huh?"

It took two weeks of daily meditation and research in between missions for them to come up with an idea of what the items could mean. Raven wanted to involve other members of the team as it would make the investigation go by quickly but Beast boy asked that they keep it private. She understood and respected his wishes. They had established that with his African roots the initiation could resemble those that many tribes in the country practiced as a coming of age ceremony.

"Okay we're making some headway. I think the arrowhead could be connected to hunting, I looked into a book from the library and found out that Masai warriors in Kenya have their initiates hunt and kill a lion as part of their ceremony, do you think that would mean anything for you in your mindscape?"

"Gah, I hate hunting. The only thing I would hunt for over there is a good strategy to beat Cy in Super Smash, other than that maybe… Maybe a way to communicate with the animal parts of myself."

"How so?"

"Um, well when I shift into any animal it's almost as if that's the whole of who I am. Their instincts are my instincts, and their needs are my needs. I guess I want to explore that more and figure out how to connect with those sides of myself."

"I can understand that." Raven sighed, "Maybe the arrowhead is supposed to help you accomplish it, pushing you to capture and figuratively 'take them down' in order to attain knowledge or animal wisdom from them. I know in some cultures when someone kills and eats an animal it becomes part of them."

"Well you can scratch off eating them, that's never going to happen. I'm strictly a tofu and veggie kind of guy. But you may be onto something, The Beast could want me to hunt them down and absorb their powers I guess. Oh! I found out that the kind of wood the block is made of is acacia, maybe we could find out if that means anything?"

"Actually I think it might! I remember on Azarath, the monks had me study spiritualism, and part of it was understanding how life forms can be a medium for spirits to talk to people. Each object or life form holds its own significance, Blue birds symbolize friendships, oak trees wisdom, and butterflies new beginnings. Acacia symbolizes the immortality of the soul, our human spirit. The part of us that can never die."

"Wait! I think I got it, he could want me to make a totem. I remember when I was a kid some of the kids I was friends with when we lived in Lamumba had one as a representation of their spirit, and everytime they underwent a big change they would add designs to symbolize their growth. He could want me to carve one as a kind of chess piece to my soul, if that makes sense."

"Well I think we found our second ritual. The only thing I'm worried about is the third one, I have an idea of what it could be, but you're not gonna like it."

He didn't. As it turned out, the metal rod that was supposedly representative of endurance and the ability to remain stoic under difficult circumstances. It was going to be used as a way to gauge and strengthen his pain tolerance. Nothing for Beast Boy to be excited about.

"So if we have everything together it means you have to carve a totem, or talisman indicative of your life's journey, hunt down and somehow absorb the powers and wisdom from the animals you become, and strengthen your pain tolerance."

"Yep, sounds about right. How many sessions do you think it's gonna take until I make it?"

"Only you can gauge that, I wouldn't be able to tell."

"Okay, let's do it in the morning, I'm exhausted. Night Raven!"

"Goodnight."

The next morning, it took him a while to be able to get in the right headspace for his meditation. He was nervous and unsure of how he was supposed to go about doing these things. But he'd figure it out.

When Beast Boy went inside his mindscape he could see The Beast's behemoth figure standing next to the acacia tree, calm and collected. Walking over, he picked up the box and grabbed the three items.

"I'm ready."

When carving he wasn't sure what he wanted to be his talisman. Raven had told him that it needed to be significant to his life journey, and representative of his spirit. I have so many things in my life that mean something, how am I supposed to choose? Beast Boy thought back to his life, looking for any common theme and came up blank. He was a shapeshifter, so no specific animal really stood out to him. He was a vegetarian, which meant absolutely nothing in this context. Having fun with his friends was important as the self proclaimed life of the party and yet that aspect of his life wasn't all encompassing. Being a superhero was a big part of who he was, he remembered how he first got his powers, his parents had saved his life and in the process, given him his powers. Wait! I got it.

An hour later, Beast Boy went up to his counterpart and showed him the finished project, proud of how it turned out,

"Are you sure?" The Beast questioned

"I'm sure."

Beast boy looked down at his carving, he had decided on The green capped monkey, the same creature who had infected him with the Sakutia Virus, altering his life permanently. It was a source of both pride and pain. The reason he was still alive but also the reason for his unstable DNA.

"What's the next trial?"

The Beast gently picked up the arrowhead and opened his palm to reveal it before Beast boy's eyes.

The young changeling grabbed the arrowhead, he knew he didn't want to hunt, it wasn't in his nature to do so unless it was a bad guy or villain that was hurting people. What was he supposed to do if it felt wrong to his core?

Beast boy awoke from his meditation, feeling as lost as ever. He went to Raven in the living room, currently the only two in the room.

"I can't do it Raven."

"What?"

"I can't do it, I can't hunt down and kill the parts of myself that I need to in order to complete this trial! It's too messed up."

"Wh-"

"What if it means I can't feel them anymore, what if they won't like me? What if it means I can't shapeshift anymore?"

"Beast boy, no one said anything about killing them."

"Wha- I thought that's what I had to do…"

"I said that some cultures do that, there are plenty of other things you could do, maybe instead of 'absorbing their power', you might just need to accept them wholly as a part of you."

Beast boy had always thought of his animal forms as an extension of himself. That was acceptance wasn't it? Raven had told him that to think of something in that way was to see it as a part of you, like an arm or a leg. That's what they are, aren't they?