Only Just Begun
by Castlefan6
A/N: This is the sequel to "Trying To Forget." Please read that first. This picks up immediately after that story ends, and there will be a casket ending now after they have talked and talked well in a different manner. What happens? This will be a love story between Caskett that also deals with the consequences of actions, righting wrongs, and how some past history for each of the love birds is revealed. AU.
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I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only.
Chapter 7
Dr. Burke's Office
Following Friday, 4:00 PM
Kate knew Rick was extremely nervous on the trip from the Hamptons; he had hardly said a word the entire time they had been in the car. "Babe, it's just one session. If you don't like what you hear, we can always choose another doctor, but I think you have nothing to worry about. I was the one that Dr. Burke leveled his criticism towards; he always asked me, what other man would have waited as long as Mr. Castle did?" She said, trying to make him feel less apprehensive.
He turned to her and smiled, kissed her gently, "Kate, when he reads my journal, he's going to revise that opinion; I think we both screwed up enough to last us a lifetime. I hope he can help us. We've done exceptionally well so far, but I know we still have to cross some areas that will be rough for one or both of us. " he said softly,
"And we will cross those areas when we come to them, Babe, together, you and me, just like we took on some of New York's worst. We will get through this, Rick. I have no doubt, and do you want to know why?" She asked as she kissed his neck,
"I can offer you my input, but that would mean you would stop what you are doing, and I will never get tired of feeling your lips on my skin." He replied in a sexy tone as he turned and stole a quick kiss, then turned back to the road with a smile.
"I know it because, well, partly because of the love my man has shown me for the last six days. You have pampered, spoiled me, and made love to me in a fashion I have never even come close to before you. I keep asking myself, why was I such a fool? I've wasted four years of this, for me, for you, and for us.
"I also know it because we have dealt with a pretty tough topic on both our parts: you leaving and my lie, which I agree was the root cause of our problems. The point I'm making is that, Babe, we got through that very tough conversation with love, respect, and forgiveness. If that isn't the recipe for a successful relationship, then I don't know what is," she said, nuzzling his neck to hear him moan, knowing he was helpless to retaliate.
He smiled, pulled the car over to a roadside picnic table, and put it in the park. He knew he couldn't pay her back completely, but the make-out session was well worth it. Besides, they could do it because they were a couple now.
"That was your downpayment for repayment, my love. You just wait. I'll get even for you driving me crazy, knowing I couldn't retaliate." He laughed, for one of the first times since they had been together, actually laughing like the old Rick.
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They arrived at Dr. Burkes's office almost forty minutes early, so they went across the street, bought a coffee for each, and drank it on the park bench just down from his office. Rick was nervous, more so than she had ever seen him before.
"Rick, like I said, one session. If you don't like him, or if you don't think he can help us, we move on to the next doctor, OK?" she said as she kissed him briefly and took his hand to lead him to Dr. Burke's office stairs.
He rose, patted the hand that held his other one gently, and said, "You ready, sweetheart?"
"Never been more ready, Babe; let's do this; let's start the next chapter in our lives." She said with a huge smile that seemed to appear every time she looked at him.
They climbed the stairs; Diane, the receptionist, recognized Kate immediately and greeted her, "Hi Kate, it's so good to see you. Welcome, Mr. Castle. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you know paperwork," as she handed each a clipboard. Rick's was the usual: pre-existing conditions, current medications, insurance information, and a brief description of why he was visiting the doctor.
Kate's consisted of legal releases. Only the signature line was highlighted. Diane must notarize her signature as she makes her way back to her desk. A few minutes later, she returned to the seat next to Rick, who had also completed his stack of forms. All that remained was talking to the doctor. Yeah, no big deal, he thinks to himself, trying to calm himself.
As the clock struck four PM, the office door opened to Dr. Burke's office, and he greeted them both. "Hello, Kate, or is it Captain Beckett, now? "He smiled, then turned to Rick. Welcome, Mr. Castle. I feel I already know you, but my wife is the fan in the family. "He laughed as he greeted Rick with a firm handshake and a smile.
They walked into the office, and rather than taking her normal seat in the chair, she guided Rick to the couch, holding his hand as they found their seats. Rick felt comfortable with Dr. Burke immediately. He noticed a commendation from the U.S. Air Force framed and hung proudly across from his desk, something they had in common and something else to confess to Kate about.
Dr. Burke started the conversation off with a neutral question, which made them both relax more. "So, Kate, besides being promoted, Congratulations by the way, what else is new in your life?" he asked with a big smile,
"Well, Dr. B, you know how much I've talked about this one," she held up their hands, still joined together with fingers interlaced. It happens that he still likes Remy's, and I was taking a late lunch when a special server arranged for us to unknowingly share a booth.
"It was very awkward seeing each other after four years and six months and not knowing why he left or where he went, but we were polite and started the conversation. I must admit that the majority of our answers were simply YEAH, at first," Rick laughed as she smiled.
"I take it the answers got more detailed as the conversation continued," he smiled, "How long did your first meeting last?" He asked,
Rick spoke up, "Gosh, it was a little after 7:00 PM when Kate's phone rang from the precinct; Detective Ryan was checking to ensure she was still OK. Neither of us had realized that over five hours had passed since we got past YEAH," he laughed,
"Kate, how do you think the conversation went? I mean, you and I have discussed the potential scenarios for a reunion several times. Did any of those play out?" Dr Burke asked.
"Not at this meeting, Doctor, but it was an opportunity to reestablish contact with him, and I didn't want to push too hard. We talked about everything but why he left, where he went, and why. I did leave him my card and prayed he would call me back." Kate smiled up at Rick.
"Well, I'm going to state the obvious that he did, and you two did discuss what happened. Where the breakdown in communication came from, and it's the root cause of the shutdown. By the way, Rick, may I call you Rick, he asked. You may have fooled a lot of people, but my wife and Kate both knew it was you or strongly suspected that you were penning the new James Bond novels." He smiled,
"We did, Doctor, and well, I'll let Kate tell you the story from her perspective, and then I'll add anything I feel is appropriate. Is that OK, Babe? He asked Kate gently. Dr Burke smiled at the use of the pet name and the appearance of the two of them still locked hands, smiling,
"I don't know how much you're comfortable talking about Rick, but."
"Sweetheart, tell Dr. Burke everything and anything you feel will move us forward. I'm an open book when it comes to asking for help to ensure I don't screw this up," he said,
She leaned in and kissed him gently, whispering, "I love you, Richard Castle," then turned to face the doctor.
"Well, he did call me and invited me to his bar, the Old Haunt. I think he thought it would be a neutral, safe location for both of us. We were in a private room, and it really felt good to be back there with him.
" We talked around the issues until I got pushy; well, I got to be a Bitch, to be honest, but I wasn't going home without the answer to the question I asked myself every day for four and a half years, WHY did he leave me?.
"I take it you did get your answer, Kate. Was it a surprise to you? I mean, I think we covered just about every scenario that I could have imagined to cause a man to leave without saying goodbye." The doctor asked,
"Well, he did say goodbye, Dr. Burke, in a letter; he just didn't mail it, but I read it, and I am satisfied. I don't know if I would have been as gracious as he was to me.
"Back to the story of that night, I pushed and found out that he had heard me tell a suspect that I remembered everything about my shooting; of course, he thought it meant I didn't love him." She said, her eyes filling as the magic hankie appeared.
"Do you mean you confessed to Mr. Castle, excuse me, Rick, that you heard him say he loved you for the first time as secondary information coming from an interrogation of a suspect?" His voice showed his amazement,
Kate hung her head, "Yes, doctor, that's the first time he found out; I heard every sweet word that he had said." She said quietly. Rick gripped her hand a little tighter and patted the back of it,
"Rick, I won't ask how you took the news; I think we've established a reason for you to disappear and leave your comfort zone. I will ask you how you dealt with the deceit. I mean, anger is the first emotion. What other emotions did you feel?" Burke asked,
Rick looked down, then up, then took a drink of his cold coffee, then cleared his voice, "Dr., I'm searching for a way to say what's on my mind without sounding like a pompous ass or someone not interested in help. Kate and I have worked through that; the details aren't important to bring up; we are looking for a way forward.
"I understand that the only way to do that is not to repeat the sins of the past, but trust me when I say Kate and I thoroughly discussed this issue, her lie, my abandonment, so I really don't want to get into what or how we resolved this major conflict.
"If this is in major conflict with how you see treatment going, please say so now, and we can be on our way. That topic is between Kate and me and is resolved," he said with a little more emphasis than he realized,
Dr. Burke smiled a huge smile, "Kate, you were right. He does love you more than himself. That was a test question, and forgive me, Rick. I must judge the commitment of each party to the other, as well as the seriousness of moving forward. That was a perfect response." He said as Rick let out a breath he had been holding.
Kate turned Rick's head and kissed him, "I love you; you always take the fall to protect me. Thank You, Rick. I never said it enough before." She said as he dabbed her eyes that suddenly had sprung a leak.
"Well, Doctor Burke, I will say this: Rick introduced us to safe rooms and timeouts in three categories: Minor, Major, and Deal-Breaker. In our discussions, we both have to use one minor, lasting thirty minutes or less." She said, beaming at her boyfriend,
"May I ask where you discovered that technique, Rick? I mean, obviously, you are aware that it is a tool we use in my profession, and most people have never heard of it, much less used it successfully." Dr. Burke asked,
"I was forced to go to mandatory marriage counseling with my second wife. I read the homework and did the work, she didn't, so to me, it was valuable, to her, a waste of time," Rick said softly.
"I see, and you see the value in counseling for you and Kate?" Dr. Burke half asked, half stated
"Very much so; I know my partner now wants this to work as badly as I do and isn't afraid to be vulnerable and put in the work," Rick said,
"Kate, do you agree with Rick's observations?" He asked,
"I know you're about to fall off your chair, but YES, Kate Beckett does see the value of your mumbo jumbo. I think I called it when I was first forced to see you," she laughed,
"Don't worry, Kate, that's one reason I don't tape record sessions, too much temptation to go back and yell, I Told You So, he laughed a hardy laugh, the first time Kate had ever seen or heard him do that.
"Well, thanks to Rick, you two are about two sessions ahead of normal couples coming into my office, and it's great to hear that the space has been used by each of you once. That demonstrates to me that one partner is not rubberstamping everything the partner is saying. The relationship will NEVER work unless consensus is built early into the arrangement." He said over his reading glasses, still writing notes faster than most people could type.
I would suggest each of you resume your journals, focusing on COUPLE issues, not self-issues, unless they become a problem for the couple. For example, I had one couple. The husband smoked. He worked on it, and to all of us, he had quit, but not really. It caused conflict not only for him but also for the couple's dynamics. I hope that explains what we are looking for." he smiled,
For our next meeting, I would like each of you to work on this assignment first individually, and seal your answers in an envelope, then together, and bring those to our next session, same time next week?" He asked,
Kate turned to Rick, who nodded, "That will work, Doctor. We aren't sure about my work status yet, but I do have a lot of vacation I need to take. It will be on the issues list to discuss this week" she said,
"It sounds like you're off to a fantastic start. For the next meeting, I would like to see your INDIVIDUAL answers to this questionnaire. Please do not share or hint about any of your answers to each other. It will impact its usefulness," He said as he handed each a sheet of paper with the following questions,
Are you and your partner more emotional or more logical?
Do you both have similar core values? (Honesty, kindness, responsibility, etc.)
How much affection would you say you and your partner show one another
How often do you and your partner spend your free time together?
Can you and your partner express your feelings and needs to one another?
Are you and your partner introverted or extroverted?
How do sex and intimacy with your partner make you feel? (General Terms, no specifics, please)
How do you and your partner handle money and financial issues?
Do you and your partner agree on what the future holds for you as a couple?
Do your political views line up with your partner's?
Can you and your partner laugh together?
If someone asked you how you and your partner were doing, what would you say?
"Dr. Burke, what if we haven't dealt with some of these issues, such as Finances? How do we answer those?" Rick asked,
"For those questions, just mark TBD; we will get to them soon, so no worries," he assured Rick.
"Please keep in mind that as much as you believe your relationship is unique, it's really not, at least it's not unless you make it unique or, in some cases, difficult." He glanced at Kate, who was blushing and looking at the floor.
"In all relationships, we all follow the same compatibility model, consisting of the Five Compatibility Dimensions:
Knowledge of Your Partner
Understanding each other's worlds, including personal history, preferences, and aspirations.
Values
Aligning on core beliefs, life goals, and principles that guide daily decisions and long-term plans.
Friendship
Building a strong foundation of mutual respect, trust, and emotional intimacy.
General Compatibility
Assessing overall harmony and the ability to navigate life's challenges together.
Romance
Maintaining physical attraction, affection, and a fulfilling sexual relationship.
"As relationships mature or grow apart, these compatibility dimensions change, allowing the trained medical professionals to focus on the areas that have changed. To the novice, they call it falling out of love, when in reality, it is a change in one or more of the five pillars of our compatibility relationship, provoking a change in our relationship with our partner." He smiled,
"Hey, I have to show some professional acuity. How else can I justify my hourly rate and the huge student loan bills I had to pay," Rick smiled and replied, as long as we're not tested on this.
"One question, Doctor Burke: Do you think we should continue to hold our discussions on our own using the time-out rule? Kate asked,
"By all means, Kate. We meet for one hour weekly; the key to your success, or lack of it, will be the work you both put into this, both from guided exercises and just discussions at a personal level. One rule: NEVER allow your temper to show. Take a time-out; perhaps add a class of five-minute time-outs to your three categories so harsh words that can never be unspoken are uttered.
Thanks, Dr. Burke. We'll see you again next week. We appreciate you seeing us as a couple," Rick said as he shook the doctor's hand on his way out of the office.
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As they left the office, they decided to go to dinner. They hadn't been out as a real couple other than Remy's, so Rick called ahead to LeCerq to make reservations for a private room.
"Kate, are you sure you want to go out? I mean, we haven't discussed this, but I know you like to keep your private life private; I can't guarantee that some creep won't get off a picture or two," Rick said, suddenly concerned.
"Well, if they do, tell them to be sure it's in focus, and spell my name correctly, two t's." she laughed, "I am so damn proud to be on your arm and be your, eh, .. well, I don't need to describe it, just your partner until we work through all this. It's hands off, girls; you are taken," Rick laughed when she finished that statement. Boy, four years away, had certainly changed her view.
TBC
A/N: We are getting to some heavy areas here. Note that research has been done, and these are techniques that professionals use genuinely. Please don't ask how I know; it reminds me of writing big checks.